Furious Movie News 07.08.10: The Lohan Goes to Jail Edition

Posted by Arnold Furious on 07.08.2010

Lindsay Lohan faces jail time, Andrew Garfield is underpaid, James Bond and The Three Stooges get canceled, plus trailers, charts and more! It's all in the latest edition of the Furious Movie News!

Furious on Film 185

Seeing as I had a week off to watch the World Cup here's my top five things about the World Cup;

1. Slovakia beating Italy. Oh my God, I loved this game. I was marking out when Slovakia scored the 3rd goal and then when the English linesman ruled out an Italian goal for offside. Classic. Best game of the tournament for sheer thrills and spills and Slovakia looked like a genuine threat. Netherlands walked all over them showing just what a poor team the former World champions have become.

2. Paraguay's progress provoking Paraguay superfan Larissa Riquelme to proclaim she would run naked through the streets of her home country if they won. I couldn't help but notice a shot of her in the crowd during the chaotic defeat to Spain. She didn't look very happy. Who would? Her country missed a penalty, and then conceded a penalty a minute later, Spain scored and then it was retaken and Spain missed. Then Spain scored anyway after the ball hit the post 3 times on the way in. Its enough to make her think her streak was jinxed. Maybe just topless Larissa?



3. Japanese free-kicks. While thoroughly out-playing Denmark the fine footballing nation of Japan scored two wonderful freekicks. The first from Honda was outrageous and could be put down to bad goalkeeping but the second was a beauty and would have been best freekick of the tournament had Diego Forlan not scored that against Ghana.

4. Germany destroy Argentina…just like they said they would! After beating England the Germans sounded confident and talked about the weaknesses they'd seen in the Argies defence. We'd all seen those weaknesses but other countries didn't know how to exploit them. Step forward the counter-attacking Germans and their free-flowing football. Everything through Bastian Schweinsteiger and all of a sudden England's loss didn't look quite so bad. Not even Diego Maradona jumping around on the touchline could cheer up the Argentina team. The best moment of the game, along with Lahm making Heinze look like the slowest player in the world, was when Schweinsteiger beat 3 players and then handed Arne Friedrich a tap in for his first International goal.

5. The North Korean players who attempted to escape their countries regime during the cup by attempting defection. They scarpered after N. Korea lost their opener and weren't available when the Koreans lost 7-0 to Portugal in one of the most humiliating defeats of the tournament. It's the only time that North Korean television has screened a live game of the national side. And probably the last. Normally highlights are re-cut to make it look like the Koreans win everything.

And while you read the column this week feel free to listen to this little ditty; the theme music to St Elmo's Fire. Proof if you ever need it that Joel Schumacher made at least one good movie.



And 5 hours later, after an unexpected and bad shift at work…here's the news!

NEWS!

If you missed it yesterday – Andrew Garfield has been cast as Spider-Man in the re-boot. I saw him in The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus and he was easily the worst thing about it. I remember telling someone I quite liked the movie "apart from that fucking kid". So yeah, I think it's a bad casting decision and it will come back to bite them. From what I've seen Garfield just doesn't have the ability to play the part. When Tobey Maguire was named for the first Spidey film I thought it was good casting. I figured he'd be able to pull it off. Not getting an actor of similar ability and experience just shows the lack of ambition behind this project. I think it's destined to failure.



Incidentally wasn't the point of this re-boot to get Peter back in school (something I totally disagree with, this isn't the 60s) and yet they've hired a 26 year old actor? So they've already buggered up their own plot. They now need to re-write the movie to set it during Peter's college years. I just don't understand why they need to go back. Just hire an adult actor and carry on from the 3rd film.

Here's an interesting note though; Garfield only stands to pocket $500,000 for the role. Are you kidding me? Do you know how much money Marvel is worth? I've heard of them cutting stingy deals in the past but this one beats everything. It's like making a movie for $200M and then deciding they can't afford Terrence Howard. I think Marvel needs to re-evaluate their policies on paying actors. Meanwhile the Twilight trio will pocket $25M EACH on the Breaking Dawn movies. There ya go. Set for life while Andy Garfield is left fending for crumbs and he's fucking Spiderman. Come on, Marvel, sort it out.

Movies make no sense

If movies never make any money, which is what we're constantly told, then why are movies still made? Why do they still cost so much? And where is all this money going? Warner Brothers bullshit accountancy department claims that Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix (a movie that made nearly a billion dollars worldwide) is still $167M in the red.

Yeah right.

What this actually means is it really isn't. At all. They've just made a bunch of figures up in order to not pay anyone who's got a "net profit percentage" deal. Because if you admit the movie made any money you have to pay someone part of it. Best to just carry on pretending the movie hasn't made any money at all. But that's not the case because if it were the case then every single studio would be bankrupt and out of business (not just MGM). There are a lot of grey areas on accounts like "interest", which is always at a meteorically high rate and never has a beneficiary attached to it. There's another vague figure on the Harry Potter books where it says "negative costs" of $315M. God alone knows where that money went. Basically movie accounts are bullshit and if you cut a deal involving a percentage of the net you've cut a deal for 0% of fuck all. Unlucky. Gross is an important word in the world of Hollywood contracts.

Lohan goes to jail



As far as celebrity jail terms goes this probably comes as no surprise. Various other celebrities have run into trouble, most famously Paris Hilton, and jail terms are no longer a shock. Lindsay was sentenced to 90 days for breaching the terms of her previous arrest for driving under the influence. She's been to prison before, serving 84 minutes of a 24 hour sentence. Who goes to jail for an hour and a half? Do they even bother taking you to a cell? Lindsay's breach incidentally was for missing "alcohol education classes". I bet they're a hoot! Lohan claims she didn't do it deliberately but it is time she learned that being a celebrity doesn't put you above the law. Either that or she needs to get a more expensive lawyer.

Lohan was warned by Judge Revel just this past October that any further infringement of the law would result in a custodial sentence. Revel said today that she had been very clear as to how she expected Lohan to behave and she hadn't lived up to her end of the bargain. Lohan now faces a 3 month stretch with added rehab on release. Chances are she won't be in jail anywhere near 3 months though courtesy of the LA County jail system. Non-violent offenders are often released early due to an already overcrowded prison population. She's likely to spend more time in rehab.

Next Bond cancelled



Bad news for fans of the James Bond franchise. Troubled studio MGM put all future Bond development on hold back in April because of fiscal shortages. Now it seems the entire project has been cancelled permanently. This leaves star Daniel Craig in limbo not knowing if he'll ever get to play the role that made him world famous again. He'd only had the chance to star in two Bond movies, relaunching the franchise with Casino Royale and then following it up with a middling performance in Quantum of Solace. Peter Morgan had already written a script, which was apparently killer, and Sam Mendes attached to direct there was hope this Bond would rank up there with the very best of the series.

MGM's troubles have basically shut the studio down. They were in the process of re-making Red Dawn but now can't afford to finish the movie. At the end of last month Lionsgate were in negotiations to merge with MGM and that would be a sufficient rescue package.

Three Stooges unlikely



In a recent interview with MTV News actor Paul Giamatti said he wouldn't be appearing in the Three Stooges movie as Larry. Turns out when someone asked him if he was doing the movie he was at Sundance and just said yes…for a laugh. Haha, good man. But after that he was contacted about actually doing the role but the movie has "disappeared". According to Benicio del Toro he was scheduled to be in the movie as well as Jim Carrey and Sean Penn. But this is another project that may have been killed off by MGM. It was in development there and was being developed with MGM by the Farrelly Brothers who wanted to do a Stooges movie set in modern times. They've been trying to get the film off the ground since their Hollywood debut with Dumb and Dumber. They ended up opting to direct Kingpin instead the first time around and have been trying to get the project off the ground ever since. Their next film is Hall Pass starring Owen Wilson. It looks as if the Stooges movie will never see the light of day.

Shyamalan planned trilogy



The Last Airbender was originally planned and thought out as the first of three movies according to director M. Night Shyamalan. When speaking to the Philadelphia Daily News the helmsman claimed the plan now hinged on the box office returns of The Last Airbender. His plan originally saw him produce one of his "thrillers" in between each film in the trilogy and he's shopping a script around at the moment that he wants to film next. However it was scheduled to star Bradley Cooper who is now committed to The Hangover 2. So he's out. Shyamalan went on to say that he'd like to be considered a modern Agatha Christie and how he'd like all his work perceived to be part of one big whole. Which sort of explains why all his movies have a stupid twist ending that everyone hates. As for Bradley Cooper missing out because of the Hangover sequel. I think that's a very positive career move for him. The Hangover was great and made a load of cash. M. Night hasn't made a good movie in 8 years. During that time he's made three truly dreadful films and Last Airbender isn't exactly setting the world on fire. I think he might be waiting some time for those 2 sequels.

Multiple Man to re-appear in X-Men: First Class



According to comicbookmovie.com the character of Jamie Madrox is set to appear in Matthew Vaughn's X-Men: First Class film. Apparently their "Marvel source" identified the character as those included in the script. Eric Dane played the character in X-Men: Last Stand but seeing as this film is essentially an origin story/re-boot there's unlikely to be a crossover in characters. Especially with future X-films planned in the present day. The source is claimed as reliable due to an earlier tip regarding Benjamin Walker's casting as Hank McCoy in X-Men: First Class. Not that I was particularly interested in Walker's casting seeing as he's only really appeared in a handful of films and most famously in Flags of Our Fathers, which wasn't exactly a career making turn. Either way the Marvel rumours will continue until someone puts a lid on the chatty Marvel staff. Unless they just want everyone to be talking about Marvel's movies. Then its mission accomplished. I seem to have something every week on one Marvel movie or another.

TRAILERS!!

The Borrower Arrietty, the latest movie from Studio Ghibli who provided the world with awesome animated films when the Western world had no interest in making them. Hayao Miyazaki, one of the great animation directors, wrote the script while Hiromasa Yonebayashi will direct after playing an important role in previous Miyazaki pictures; Princess Mononoke, Spirited Away and Howl's Moving Castle.



Let Me In. Naturally this will look really familiar if you've seen the excellent Swedish vampire movie Let the Right One In as this is the Western re-make. The shots look similar and if previous experiences are anything to go on you've already seen this movie. Still if you didn't see Let the Right One In and you can't cope with subtitles then this could be the vampire movie for you!



CHART WATCH

We always get the run-down on the top 10 movies in the US. 411 does a post updating it every weekend and it's covered in other news columns at the head of the week. With Chart Watch I thought I'd take a look at how certain movies are doing on the all-time lists. Here's this week's Chart Watch;

2010 Releases;



Toy Story 3 continues to pull in coin from all over the world. $439M so far. Eclipse was always going to impact and has opened to $261M opening weekend globally. A substantial debut from the latest Twilight movie although some of that money was laid down last week in foreign markets. Meanwhile in the US domestic market Toy Story 3 continues to chase down Iron Man 2's sizeable box office haul of $308M at a rapid rate. TS3 had a $30M weekend and is likely to record decent figures next week too therefore smashing past IM2 and setting its sights on beating Alice in Wonderland to be the biggest hit movie of 2010 so far. Eclipse opened big in the USA with $161M since Wednesday night. A $69M weekend into the bargain. That already puts it at 7th place for US releases this year above Karate Kid and not far behind Clash of the Titans.

All Time!!



With Iron Man 2 having stopped raking in money Stateside (finishing at #31 on the all-time list) all eyes are on Toy Story 3. It climbed 13 places this past week to reach #42 on the list. That places it just ahead of Home Alone and slightly behind Empire Strikes Back. It will be in the top 40 next week and perhaps even the top 30 depending on what kind of week it has. Certainly all indications are pointing towards a very strong final figure for the Pixar franchise. Toy Story 3 is 3rd on Pixar's own all-time list and will pass Up during the week. Finding Nemo has $339M so that still remains a long-term goal. TS3 should break through the $300M mark next week and is sure to continue to pull fans in. Keep in mind how strong the hold was for How to Train Your Dragon earlier in the year. Animated films that have great word of mouth tend to attract big return audiences because people will go and see it again and drag other people with them.

July



Two releases this week. The big one being Eclipse, the latest in the vampire/werewolf/love story series Twilight, and the other being The Last Airbender. Surprisingly Airbender got even worse reviews than Eclipse! Although perhaps not as M. Night Shyamalan has been on a downward curve for…his entire career. Airbender still debuted to a decent $40M. Well, decent if it didn't cost $150M! Another incomprehensible decision by a major studio. This time Paramount throwing money away. As far as sword and sorcery epics go Airbender has the biggest opening that kind of movie has ever seen. Previous record holder being The Scorpion King with $36M. That movie finished with $91M so you'd think based on those figures that Last Airbender probably won't reclaim its budget.



Meanwhile Summit who bankrolled Eclipse is already well into the black on this latest tweenage crapfest. Eclipse was budgeted at $68M and has so far pulled down $161M in the US alone. It has the 9th biggest July opening on record. Marginally ahead of 2001's Planet of the Apes and just behind Transformers opening weekend of $70M. Comparing Eclipse to New Moon for a moment reveals an interesting set of figures. While New Moon was a much bigger hit than Twilight this time there's little difference. New Moon over its opening 5 days had $164M, which puts Eclipse $3M behind. Which means this phenomenon may have levelled off. Twilight only managed $192M on its whole run and by the 5 day stage was on $80M. This one seems comparable with New Moon but hasn't blown the mind of any executives at Summit. For Independence Day weekends it's a different story though with Eclipse recording some of the biggest figures ever. With the exception of Transformers and Spider-Man 2 it has the biggest Independence Day weekend opening of all time. Nowhere near Spidey's whopping $88M though.

REACTION!

How horrified were the 411 readers when the latest Twilight movie hit the top spot…

M. Night spent 150 MILLION on Airbender to produce that piece of crap?

And Twilight and Karate kid took less money to make....combined?

WOW.

Posted By: Angry Fan (Guest) on July 04, 2010 at 01:17 PM

Well, Airbender is an effects picture. Effects pictures almost always cost more to produce than any other type of film. Even if you get together a big star cast it'll still cost more to have them put in a lavish computer generated setting than a karate dojo or the forest near Seattle. And effects don't necessarily make a good film. Sometimes they help to paper over the cracks in a storyline (Avatar) but they don't always work.

WTF America? Seriously!

Posted By: nastrodamus (Guest) on July 04, 2010 at 02:46 PM

Oh, you're surprised? At one point last year America had these four movies as their number one in consecutive weeks;

1. Fast and Furious
2. Hannah Montana: The Movie
3. 17 Again
4. Obsessed

Later in the year The Final Destination was at number one for 3 weeks. Nothing really surprises me when it comes to what the general public will watch. No offence to American audiences, it's a global thing. The UK had Street Dance 3-D at number one last month. Everyone's an idiot.

Movers and Shakers

GROWN UPS



Grown Ups has $77M so far despite bad reviews. It had a budget of $80M so that's not bad on paper as it should head into the black next week. But for Adam Sandler you'd think it'd be a bigger hit. He produced and co-wrote so you'd think it'd have more success. If you were Sandler you'd possibly worry about your Hollywood star being on the wane. After all his attempts at going out of his comfort zone don't seem to result in box office success Funny People saw him try something different and the result was a disappointing $51M and Reign Over Me, despite critical praise, only saw a $19M return. Normally Sandler's dumb movies hit the $100M mark and this should continue that run barring some sort of disaster.

KNIGHT AND DAY



It seems as though Fox are kinda blaming The Cruiser for the poor results on Knight and Day. They tried to edit him off the posters and the advertising campaign and the movie wouldn't be a sensational flop IF it hadn't cost so much money at $117M. Let's face it; The Cruiser is a risk these days. And not one worth gambling over a $100M budget on. I get the feeling he'll have to cut his pay if he ever hopes to be onboard another box office success. Valkyrie had the same weak opening but held for $83M. Knight and Day looks like being another soft hit for The Cruiser. And considering the budget maybe not even that much. If you look back at his issues it all stems from stupid comments he made when he thought he was above normal people dating back to 2006. Keep in mind that was the same year Premiere magazine named him Hollywood's most powerful actor. But various comments he made during the course of the year turned him into the box office poison he is today. His Q score dropped 40%! We're still seeing the effects of that and people's negative opinions of Cruise based on his Scientogology nonsense. He should have kept his big Scientologist mouth shut.



Sorry, Tom. You sound like a mental. KSW is Keeping Scientology Working, the version of their Bible (I guess) written by sci-fi author and nutjob L. Ron Hubbard. Hubbard started Scientology because of a bet in a bar. And I'm going to stop talking about it before someone's lawyers call the 411 offices.

MISC



Cyrus was a surprise entry in the top ten this week. Seems people caught on to the cast; John C. Reilly, Jonah Hill and Marisa Tomei and figured it'd be worth a look with the only other comedy out there, Get Him to the Greek, having been out for several weeks. That's unless you want to see a Tom Cruise film about spies. And not everyone is like that. Cyrus has performed well despite a lack of wide release and in fact has the higher per theatre average of any film besides the two new wide releases.

Prince of Persia is all but done in the US with $88M. The Mouse will be disappointed with how it performed Stateside despite global prosperity. Video game adaptations are a tricky field to enter into. Especially when you're budgeting the movie at $200M and have Jake Gyllenhaal as your star. Was nobody worried about that? Come on! I guess they're hoping Toy Story 3 picks up the slack.

Elsewhere in the studio world Fox are looking like a bunch of fucking retards…again. Marmaduke - BOMB, A-Team - BOMB, Knight and Day - in the process of following suit. I hope for their sake that Predators has the goods when it opens next week.

Finally Shrek 4 has gotten bombed out of theaters by the arrival first of Toy Story 3 but then also by kid-friendly Last Airbender a week later. So you can stick a fork in the big green ogre because he's done! Still $232M isn't a big disappointment. I'm sure Mike Myers will go to bed a happy man. And then wake up having nightmares about the Love Guru.

Next Week

Two releases next week. People are focusing on Predators but there's also Despicable Me, which looks pretty entertaining. Twilight films traditionally fade fast but do either of those have enough selling power to take top spot? I'm tentatively going with Predators because we've not had a badass action sci-fi film in a while that delivered and it does have a marketable concept and an inbuilt audience. Anything over $40M would be good but this won't be a box office race to write home about.

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ELSEWHERE

411 Movie Roundtable for the month of July. Check out the 411 writers opinions on forthcoming movie releases.

One for the road. What are you having Kyle?



Until next time, I'm Arnold Furious and you're not.