The Gratuitous B-Movie Column 7.26.10: Issue #116 - The Art of War III: Retribution Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz on 07.26.2010
In this issue we take a look at the 2009 low budget action flick "The Art of War III: Retribution" starring Anthony "Treach" Criss
The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Issue #116: "The Art of War III: Retribution" (2009)
Hello, everyone, and welcome once again to the internets movie review column that has never tried to fly a toilet to the moon, The Gratuitous B-Movie Column, and I am your host Bryan Kristopowitz. In this issue, issue number one hundred and sixteen I take a look at the third movie in "The Art of War" franchise, "The Art of War III: Retribution," which hit DVD in 2009.
The Art of War III: Retribution (2009)
"The Art of War III: Retribution," directed by Gerry Lively, stars Anthony "Treach" Criss as United Nations special agent Neil Shaw, replacing Wesley Snipes, who appeared in the theatrically released "The Art of War" back in 2000 and the 2008 direct-to-video sequel "The Art of War II: Betrayal" (a movie that this column will review once it gets a goddamn DVD that freaking works. Two times now I've rented part 2 and each time the DVD skips so bad it doesn't get past the Sony Pictures Home Entertainment screen. What are the odds of renting the same movie from two different places and having the same exact thing happen?). In part three, Shaw is on assignment in South Korea, trying to prevent a band of North Korean terrorists from buying a nuclear device from Russian criminals. The terrorists want to use the atomic weapon to disrupt an upcoming peace summit between the North and South spearheaded by the UN Secretary General (Janet Carroll). The deal between the terrorists and the Russians goes badly, a bunch of people get killed, and suddenly Shaw is wanted for murder as he was picked up on a surveillance camera at the scene. While dodging the local authorities and a gang of thugs lead by the great Leo Lee, Shaw, along with fellow UN agent Jason (Warren Derosa) and a survivor from the bad deal massacre (Sun Yi, as played by Sung Hi Lee), tries to figure out if the terrorists still plan on doing something to disrupt the peace summit. Shaw and his "team" don't have much time, but they're going to try their damndest to stop the bad guys and save the world.
"The Art of War III: Retribution" is one of the better recent low budget action flicks I've seen. What it lacks in cinematic slickness it makes up for it with energy and kick ass fight scenes. The movie moves along at a quick pace and rarely wastes time, which is always refreshing. I'm a little disappointed in the flick's lack of female nudity (why have a sex scene featuring a hot babe like Sung Hi Lee and not have at least a boob shot? What's the point of the sex scene?) but the flick doesn't have much in the way of that slow motion pseudo bullet time bullshit in it, and that's a-okay with me. I've never been a big fan of that stuff. And the constant voice overs that Treach does can get a little annoying, but then most of them seem to fit what's going on, so I guess I can't complain about that too much. And the various bits of stock footage of North Korean leader Kim Jong Il aren't as off-putting as they could have been (so few directors know how to use blatant stock footage and not make it look ridiculous).
Treach does a good job as Shaw. He's clearly not Wesley Snipes but he makes the Shaw character his own. His dialogue reading is a little stilted at times, but he does a good job being pissed off and never looks ridiculous leading a team. I would advise him not to do the "two handguns" thing again in this kind of movie because it very rarely ever works out (it just doesn't look right). Treach also knows how to fucking kill a guy with a knife (only the great Steven Seagal can kill a guy with knife better). I also liked how Treach gave Shaw a bit of a sense of humor, which is something you rarely see in a straight up action flick like this. Good job, Treach. I wouldn't mind seeing him come back in a part four.
Warren Derosa does a good job as Jason, the only surviving member of Shaw's team (there are two guys that get killed in the bad deal scene between the Russians and the North Korean terrorists, a radio guy and some other guy. They both did bang up jobs but I didn't catch their names so I can't single them out for praise. So, yeah, those two guys were awesome, especially the other guy. He died via one of the best low budget head shots ever committed to film). Jason acts as Shaw's sidekick, which is fun. He has an easy chemistry with Treach, and when they argue it comes off as natural instead of forced. I wouldn't mind seeing him come back, either.
Sung Hi Lee does a good job as Sun Yi. She basically just tags along for the first part of the movie as the thing Shaw must protect from the bad guys, but when she starts kicking ass herself it's awesome. Again, I'm disappointed in the lack of nudity from her, but she's a relatively good actor and that's what counts the most in the end. Leo Lee does a great job as the mysterious Korean terrorist/mercenary that's always hot on Shaw's trail. He doesn't get to say much, but you take one look at him and you know he's a bad ass guy not to be fucked with. He also takes a thrown gun to the face like a man. That matters.
Janet Carroll is a little weird as the UN secretary General. You're never quite sure if she's supposed to be a good guy or a villain, which makes the final scene a little awkward. And what the heck is the deal with that bit where she's hiding under the desk in her office? Why the heck is she playing it like a scene in a screwball comedy? I also wish there was a scene in the movie where she explained how the UN could engage in secret missions with secret agents like Shaw, but then perhaps they're saving that for part four. I wouldn't mind seeing the former Gary, owner of Gary's Shoes on "Married...with Children" coming back for that flick, either. Just decide if she's meant to be a good guy or a shady villain. I want to know.
"The Art of War III: Retribution" is a great low budget action flick definitely worth checking out. Again, Treach isn't Wesley Snipes, but he makes the movie watchable. That's what's most important with movies like this.
Check out "The Art of War III: Retribution." It's worth it.
So what do we have here? Gratuitous narration about the Art of War, gratuitous Anthony "Criss" Treach, gratuitous gay guy, gratuitous terrorist flashbacks, gratuitous potential suicide bomber, quick hands, a flash bang grenade that kills people, chest stabbing, gratuitous hidden secret agent office inside a restaurant, gratuitous South Korea, gratuitous shoot out at a driving range, serious blood spurting, a bag of peanuts, gun throwing, neck breaking, a golf club beatdown, an awesome fucking head shot, a secret base, gratuitous potential racism, gratuitous Gary from "Gary's Shoes," another chest stabbing, gratuitous stock footage of the UN and Kim Jong Il, gratuitous "We're expendable" speech, a Korean news report, an impromptu hanging, briefcase attack, gratuitous automatic car seatbelt, exploding fuel barrels with man on fire, a serious vehicular hit and run, potential bit where it appears that the steering wheel is on the wrong side of the car, a busted car engine, car hot wiring, a whorehouse, a guy that looks like Bono going apeshit with a machine gun, gratuitous multiple slashings, window smashing, falling body with car smashing, tattoo talk, a lame sex scene, gratuitous bit where people fondle guns, a fingerprint changing machine, a sexy babe getting dressed montage, ambulance attack, violence against women, wrist breaking, a fake tree beatdown, flash bang grenade attack, and a weird ending.
Best lines: "Today you will be in Paradise," "What are you staring at, buddy?," "You want to kill? Not on American soil!," "Yeah, I'm the fucking police! What happened?," "Police suspect a black American in the murder of a prominent local businessman," "There's always a choice. You just made the wrong one," "What the fuck happened at the meeting?," "Look, who I trust is irrelevant and none of your business right now!," "Dame, you ask too many questions. Relax!," "That was unnecessary," "$1.50 ain't what it used to be," "I used to kill to get paper, now I get paper to kill," "You two are crazy," "Fuck me!," "What now? Now we've got business with the Secretary General," "I like you better with your mouth full," "You are signing your own death warrant, you do know that?," and "Never take your eyes off your target."
Rating: 8.0/10.0
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And now, the weekly Fearnet update
Do you have Fearnet on your cable/satellite system? If you do, you're lucky because it's the only free all horror/thriller on Demand station going (it's also one of the few places that is proud of B-movies). If you're a Time Warner cable subscriber, you don't have it. You probably used to have it, but it was snatched away from you last year. But there is a way to see what Fearnet has to offer. Just go here.
Yes, that's the Fearnet website, where you can check out the free movies Fearnet has to offer (the site gets new ones every Wednesday), horror news, and more. Tobe Hooper's "Toolbox Murders" was on there last week. Is it still there?Check and see. The site also has a pretty nifty web series featuring Freddy Krueger hisself, Robert Englund, and Kane "Jason Voorhees" Hodder, "Fear Clinic" that's definitely worth a look.
If you're a Facebook nerd you can check out the Fearnet fans Facebook page, which can be seen here. There are plenty of people out there interested in Fearnet. Come join them.
(As always, thanks to both Mark Lindsey and Mathew Hirsch for info regarding the Fearnet fan movement).
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"Live Evil" is out on DVD this Tuesday
"Live Evil," the great new Tim Thomerson vampire flick (also featuring an appearance by horror legend Ken Foree) will be out on DVD tomorrow, Tuesday, July 27th. It's a great flick that's well worth checking out. Check out my review for the flick here.
The DVD should be available at most DVD sellers at that time. You can also order it from the fine folks at Amazon. You can also check out the flick's website for other ordering information. And be sure to keep an eye on the flick's Facebook and MySpace pages for further information, updates, and developments.
July 27th is just a day away!
Long live the Priest!
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Well, I think that'll be about it for this issue. B-movies rule, always remember that. And if there's anything you want to see reviewed here in this column, feel free to offer a comment below or send me an e-mail. I'm always on the lookout for new stuff to watch.
And don't forget to bookmark 411 via the little line below. You'll be glad you did.
"The Art of War III: Retribution"
Anthony "Treach" Criss- Agent Neil Shaw Warren Derosa- Jason Sung Hi Lee- Sun Yi Leo Lee- North Korean gang leader John P. Gulino- Harold Zimmer Janet Carroll- UN Secretary General
Directed by Gerry Lively Screenplay by Joe Halpin
Distributed by Sony Pictures Home Entertainment
Rated R for violence, brief language and sexual images Runtime- 88 minutes
