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Movies/TV's 3Rís 08.10.10: Eva Mendes, Bret Michaels, Montana Fishburne, Justin Bieber, More
Posted by Shawn S. Lealos on 08.10.2010

Welcome to Week 59 of The 3 R's for the Movie/TV world.

Without any further ado, here is...

  • Scream Queens Season 2: I'm not real big on reality TV but I love me some Scream Queens. The first season featured James Gunn in the director's chair but thanks to his schedule shooting Super with Rainn Wilson, he is replaced this season with Tim Sullivan, the demented mastermind behind 2001 Maniacs. Jamie King (My Bloody Valentine 3D) replaces Shawnee Smith and only acting coach John Homa returns. Anyway, I love this show. The girls have to try to act in horror themed scenes for Sullivan while completing acting lessons for Homa. The performances are both horrid and inspired at the same time. I love watching the girls who think they are great, despite the glaring revelation that they suck. There seems to be some talent here but the real joy is watching a horror themed reality show that ends up as nothing more than a giant train wreck. The episodes air on VH1 Monday nights and replay throughout the week.

  • Lost director to helm next Jack Ryan movie: Jack Bender, a director who has worked extensively on the Bad Robot television shows Alias and Lost is in discussions to helm the next film in the Jack Ryan series. Moscow will focus on a young Jack Ryan fresh out of the Marines before working for the U.S. Government. Signed to take over the role of Ryan is Star Trek's Chris Pine. This is the first Jack Ryan movie not based on a Tom Clancy novel.

  • Curious?: Universal's new animation studio Illumination has made one movie so far, the wonderfully funny Despicable Me. It is nice to see a new studio competing with Dreamworks and Pixar. Their next film is going to be nowhere near as original as Despicable Me but the fact it is based on Curious George still makes me smile. Let's hope this animated effort eliminates the bad taste of the live-action Curious George movie from our mouths.

  • Jason Reitman lined up for next movie: The last time Diablo Cody mattered in Hollywood, she wrote a little movie directed by Jason Reitman called Juno. The two filmmakers are teaming up again, this time for a movie called Young Adult. The movie is centered on a ghost writer of young adult novels who tries to find herself by reconnecting with old high school acquaintances. Charlize Theron is signed on to play the ghost writer. Reitman is three-for-three with Thank You For Smoking, Juno and Up in the Air so anything with his name attached excites me.

  • Eva Mendes Sex Tape: Just watch it.

  • Bret Michaels News: Bret Michaels may not have gotten the American Idol gig but he will be hosting the Miss Universe pageant. Any Bret Michaels news is good news as far as I am concerned.

  • Steve Carell's Replacement: I mentioned awhile back that if Steve Carell leaves The Office, they should just end the show. However, recent rumors are the producers are looking at replacing Carell with Ricky Gervais, who starred n the original British version of the show. That would rule. Unfortunately, I don't think Gervais will do it.

  • I cannot wait for The Walking Dead: In the meantime, a video.

  • Law & Order: Los Angeles: All throughout the Dallas Cowboys vs. Cincinnati Bengals preseason game, I kept seeing commercials for a new Law & Order to take place in Los Angeles. I mean, hell it worked for NCIS right? The more I think about it, the more annoyed I get. All the original Law & Order needed to break the record for longest televised drama was one more year. The network cancelled the show before it could break the record and now they are producing another spinoff. It shows a lack of class and respect for the show that started it all.

  • Another American Werewolf: American Werewolf in London is one of the best comic horror movies ever made. That is not hyperbole, it is fact. American Werewolf in Paris is one of the most disappointing sequels ever made. Another fact. Last summer, I bemoaned the fact Dimension Studios wanted to remake London. There is no reason to remake an already great movie. Now, they have hired the screenwriter of The Number 23 to adapt the screenplay with a "modern spin."

  • Montana Fishburne: Porn Star: Laurence Fishburne's friends tried to do the actor a favor by offering Vivid Entertainment $1 million to buy every copy of the porn his daughter Montana starred in. Vivid says they would have tried to accommodate the deal but the videos had already shipped. Montana is happy the deal failed because she wants "people to see my movie." She also says she wants her family to be proud of whatever she does, whether is is being a doctor or a porn star. She also says her mom is behind her no matter what, or who, she does.

  • Vanilla Ice coming to TV: Robert Van Winkle, also known as rapper-turned-metal head Vanilla Ice, is going to star in a new show called The Vanilla Ice Project. The show is a home improvement series and will showcase what he has learned over the last 15 years. Wonder if he is any better at this than he was at rapping?

  • I Love The Way You Lie: People all are up in arms about the new Eminem video "Love the Way You Lie." For some people, Eminem is glorifying domestic violence. For other people, Eminem is being disrespectful towards Rihanna based on her abusive relationship with Chris Brown. First of all, Rihanna is in the video, singing in front of the burning house. Second, it should be clear to anyone who watches the video that it is a cautionary tale about abusive relationships and domestic violence. The video stars Dominic Monaghan and Megan Fox as the couple who fight, break shit, make up and then fight again. The video ends with their home in flames, a clear enough metaphor if I ever saw one. But it is Eminem and people love to bitch about things they know nothing about...

  • Justin Bieber biopic: Do you remember the Jonas Brothers 3D movie? The group collectively won Razzies for their "performances" in the movie. Well, on Valentine's Day there will be a Justin Bieber biopic- in 3D! The 16-year old kid is also writing a memoir. Looks like we already have our 2011 Razzies winner.

  • Fishing with the G'vnor: Kate Gosselin is taking her eight kids to Alaska to go fishing with Sarah Palin. Wonderful, two giant egomaniacs in one place. Those poor, poor kids. There is also talk of a "Reality Convention" where maybe Kate can get together with the fat chick from Jersey Shore to discuss irrelevancy.

  • Brooke Mueller is nuts: The police report from the fight between Charlie Sheen and his wife Brooke Mueller on Christmas Day has been released. In the report, Sheen told officers he bought his daughter a telescope so they could both look into the stars at the same time to retain a connection. He also said the two share an affinity for the Train song "Drops of Jupiter." When he told Mueller this, she allegedly said "'you have a song you share with your daughter, but not one with me?" This soon escalated into the fight between the two. If this is true, and Mueller is indeed jealous of a father's relationship with his daughter, the woman has some serious problems.


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