The Gratuitous B-Movie Column 8.30.10: Issue #121 - Trancers Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz on 08.30.2010
In this issue I talk about one of the greatest B-movies ever made, "Trancers" (1985).
The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Issue #121: "Trancers" (1985)
Hello, everyone, and welcome once again to the internets movie review column that has never been to Hoboken, New Jersey, The Gratuitous B-Movie Column, and I am your host Bryan Kristopowitz. In this issue, issue number one hundred and twenty-one, I take a look at the classic 1980's B-movie "Trancers," directed by Charles Band and starring the great Tim Thomerson.
Trancers (1985)
"Trancers" is a movie that I've discussed several times in the weekly Top 5 column by the Trevor Snyder, much to the chagrin of people who have seen it and don't like it (or its sequels for the matter) and the people who are just tired of me talking about it. To everyone who can't stand my devotion to this low budget sci-fi action flick produced by a company that went out of business in 1989 (Charles Band's Empire Pictures, which also produced the first "Re-Animator"), I apologize for this particular column. But I can't help it. I just love the damn movie.
For those of you who don't know what "Trancers" is or haven't seen it (what the hell are you people waiting for? Buy it here), the flick stars Tim Thomerson as Jack Deth, a cop from Angel City in the 23rd century (Angel City is the future Los Angeles) that travels back in time to 1985 to protect the distant relatives of the Council, the ruling government of the 23rd century, from Martin Whistler (Michael Stefani), the leader of a cult of "psychic zombies" called "trancers," who has traveled back in time to kill those distant Council relatives. If Whistler can kill those Council relatives, he and his followers can rule the future as they see fit.
The only way to travel back in time is via "the genetic bridge," meaning that you have to have a relative alive in the time and place you wish to travel back to (and it's all done via a special serum). Whistler travels back and inhabits the body of a Los Angeles police officer, Detective Weisling, and Deth inhabits the body of Phillip Deth, a professional photographer. Detective Weisling has the entire LAPD to help him find the Council relatives, while Deth has Leena (Helen Hunt), a hip and edgy punk rock chick that works at the mall. A fish out of water, Deth acts awkwardly (he wants to wear a trench coat despite the heat, he slathers his hair with gel, and he has no idea where the hell Cahuanga Blvd is), causing Leena to question why she slept with him the night before (Leena slept with Phillip, not Jack). She's also weirded out when he drives her to work, then follows her into the mall (she works as an elf in Santa's Workshop) and tells her that he needs her help. Badly.
Then Santa turns yellow and attacks Jack Deth.
"He's a trancer," Deth says.
After dispatching Santa (Peter Schrum, who you may remember as the fat guy with the gun that tells Ahnold "Can't let you take the man's wheels, son," in "Terminator 2: Judgment Day"), Deth takes Leena and "forces" her to help him. Deth tries to tell her what's really going, all of the stuff about Whistler and trancers and the future, which she doesn't completely believe because it's all so damn weird (but then why the hell did Santa, Murray, turn yellow and attack Deth?). She directs Deth to the address of the first Council relative, Chris Lavery (Michael McGrady), who Deth finds out has been already been turned by Whistler. While he's being cooked alive in a tanning booth (I don't think that's possible but, hey, it looks cool) Leena sits in the parking lot wondering if Phillip, or Jack, or whatever the heck his name is is telling the truth. She decides that Jack is telling the truth and that she needs to help him. She rescues Jack from certain doom, but not before seeing Lavery's body disappear in a flash (that's what happens to trancers when they die, they disappear. No one knows why exactly, but it sure does look cool). While leaving Lavery's tanning business, Deth and Leena are attacked by Whistler and his cop minions. The cops draw their guns and fire. Deth, thinking quickly, activates the "long second" watch, one of the gadgets he brought with him from the future (it's a watch that slows time down for ten seconds for everyone except the person wearing the watch) and rescues Leena. While getting away, Deth walks up to Whistler and stares at him for a second, seething rage. If only Deth had the time he'd shoot that bastard in the face.
Away from danger, Deth and a fully committed Leena try to find the other Council relative, former baseball player Hap Ashby (the immortal Biff Manard). With Whistler on their tale finding Ashby, believed to be a bum on skid row, is going to be tough. But Deth is resilient, and with Leena helping him, he's going to find his target and save the world of the future. Well, he's going to try very, very hard to do so.
Obviously, Deth and Leena find Ashby and save the future as they made a sequel six years later (and then three more after that. Fuck "Trancers 6," that's not part of the Jack Deth story). The end of the movie seemingly comes out of nowhere as it seems as though there should be another half hour, but then "Trancers" is a low budget movie and they probably ran out of money so they didn't have the resources for another half hour. But then, when you actually watch the last ten minutes you realize that the movie is as it should be, that the ending is damn near perfect. You get a big ruse, two moments of great danger (one for a cleaned up Ashby, and one for Leena), and an absolutely great villain death. If the movie, and the series, had a higher profile more and more people would no doubt be listing the death of Martin Whistler in their top five.
Thomerson is fucking awesome as Jack Deth. He's got the swagger, the charisma, and the sense of humor to make the character work. When he puts on the trench coat and puts the gel in his hair and tells Leena "Dry hair's for squids," you know you're in the presence of iconic nerd awesomeness. I get goose bumps thinking about that scene and just how fucking cool it still is twenty five years later. Hopefully there's a chance that Thomerson gets to play Deth again (a sequel to "Live Evil" would be cool, too). Helen Hunt is fabulous as Leena. She's fun and she's hot, two things she hasn't been in her recent work. She poopooed her involvement in this movie some years ago in an article that appeared in "A&E Biography Magazine," which is just a shame (it's also kind of weird, since she appeared in the third movie while doing "Mad About You" with Paul Reiser, a TV series she won a bunch of awards for). I hope that one day she gets over herself and does a sci-fi convention or something, maybe helps Band do a true special edition DVD of at least the first movie. She needs to do this kind of movie again. Maybe then she'd find that spark again that made her so great back in the day.
Biff Manard is brilliant as Hap Ashby. He doesn't get that much screen time but he makes the most of his time. He's just an awesome bum. Art LaFleur does a great job as McNulty, Jack Deth's cranky boss in Angel City. I don't think he's ever been better. Michael Stefani is a great villain as Whistler. According to imdb.com "Trancers" is the last thing Stefani ever did, which is a shame because he could have had a great career as a character actor in movies or television. Look at the guy's eyes. He's terrifying.
Art LaFleur is great as McNulty, Deth's cranky boss in Angel City. When he wears that retro suit and that ridiculous hat and starts walking into the ocean to tell Deth that Whistler is alive, you're in the presence of a great character. Alyson Croft, who plays the 20th century McNulty, has more to do in the sequel, but in both instances she compliments LaFleur quite nicely (they definitely seem like they're related). Telma Hopkins does a great job as Engineer Raines, or "Ruthie" as Deth calls her. The little moments she has with Deth, where we find out that they have a romantic past, are top notch stuff. I don't understand how she didn't have a bigger career in low budget movies (or just movies in general). And the great Richard Herd does his usual awesome job as Chairman Spencer of the Council. Watch his performance closely as it seems as though he's acting in a different movie. Listen to his pauses. Great stuff.
The movie has its moments of cheapness (the bits in Angel City are cheesy looking, like the car with the vacuum cleaner on the top of it, the special effects are not as seamless as they would likely be in a more expensive movie, and there's that little moment during the moped chase when you can see the boom microphone) but it all works out in the end. Charles Band, like I said earlier, makes the most out of what he's got to work with. The script, by Danny Bilson and Paul DeMeo, is simply brilliant (all of the stuff they did for Band was great. And "The Rocketeer" was pretty damn great, too. And who could forget the stuff they did for "The Flash" TV show). They took bits and pieces from "Blade Runner" and "The Terminator" and a bunch of other stuff and crafted a script that is easily one of the best B-movie scripts of all time (it's also a great starting point for the future movies in the series). Both guys are still working today (they work in video games now or something).
The music is also freaking great. Composed by Phil Davies and Mark Ryder, it's music that will stay in your head long after the movie is over. The fast chase music, the somber opening bit, and the super cool and smooth closing credits music, it's all amazing. It needs a wide release CD. If there was one I know I would never tire of listening to it.
If you haven't seen this movie, if you haven't experienced the B-movie awesomeness/coolness of "Trancers," you need to see it now. You need to go out and buy it or borrow it from a friend or rent it from a place that still rents old movies. When the movie is over you will no doubt be a fan of Jack Deth. You won't be a squid.
Long live "Trancers," and hopefully we haven't seen the last of trancer hunter, trooper Jack Deth.
See "Trancers," man.
So what do we have here? Great music, a smoky weird opening, gratuitous Tim Thomerson, gratuitous Tim Thomerson opening narration, a car with a vacuum cleaner on the roof, gratuitous Coke product placement, a funny bit about "real" coffee, a glowing bracelet, gratuitous old lady zombie, a plastic laser gun, a boiling pot of water to the face, knife to the leg, gratuitous vaporized dead body, plastic badge throwing, gratuitous Art LaFleur, deep sea diving, an old street sign, gratuitous cheesy front door, gratuitous Richard Herd, gratuitous hologram, gratuitous Telma Hopkins, exploding body, gratuitous time travel, gratuitous Helen Hunt, gratuitous Helen Hunt topless (but we don't see anything. I bet, back then, she had some great stuff to look at), gratuitous trench coat wearing, gratuitous hair gel, gratuitous iconic B-movie line, gratuitous awesome T-bird, gratuitous psycho zombie Santa, antler attack, tanning booth attack, gratuitous Helen Hunt wearing a jean jacket with a rebel flag on the back of it, gratuitous slow motion, gratuitous punk rock hooey, gratuitous Peter Gunn, funny dancing, attempted sex, gratuitous homeless people, gratuitous moped stealing, gratuitous Biff Manard, a moped chase with visible boom microphone and a moped driving down a flight of concrete stairs, window smashing, hilarious profanity, a much needed shower, a quick ending with more slow motion, liquor bottle to the head, and an awesome villain death.
Best lines: (These are not all of the great lines from "Trancers." There are just too many to remember. But these are some of the best ones)"Last January, I finally singed Martin Whistler out on one of the rim planets. Since then, I've been hunting down the last of his murdering cult. We call them "Trancers:" slaves to Whistler's psychic power. Not really alive, not dead enough. It's July now, and I'm tired. Real tired," "Dry hair's for squids," "Welcome to the twentieth century, Jack Deth," "Are you crazy? You killed Murray. Has Murray ever turned yellow and gone after someone like he went for me?," "I'm from another time, another world. I don't even know what you people eat for lunch," "What kind of name is Peter Gunn? What kind of name is Jack Deth?," "If I catch you in L.A. again, I don't care if you're a kid, an old lady, or a kitty cat, I'm gonna kick your ass!," "Well, I hope you enjoyed yourself, Phil," "Who is that man? Fortune teller."
Rating: 10.0/10.0
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And now, the weekly Fearnet update
Do you have Fearnet on your cable/satellite system? If you do, you're lucky because it's the only free all horror/thriller on Demand station going (it's also one of the few places that is proud of B-movies). If you're a Time Warner cable subscriber, you don't have it. You probably used to have it, but it was snatched away from you last year. But there is a way to see what Fearnet has to offer. Just go here.
Yes, that's the Fearnet website, where you can check out the free movies Fearnet has to offer (the site gets new ones every Wednesday), horror news, and more. The unjustly hated (in my opinion) "Toxic Avenger III: The Last Temptation of Toxie" was on there last week. Is it still there?Check and see. The site also has a pretty nifty web series featuring Freddy Krueger hisself, Robert Englund, and Kane "Jason Voorhees" Hodder, "Fear Clinic" that's definitely worth a look.
If you're a Facebook nerd you can check out the Fearnet fans Facebook page, which can be seen here. There are plenty of people out there interested in Fearnet. Come join them.
(As always, thanks to both Mark Lindsey and Mathew Hirsch for info regarding the Fearnet fan movement).
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"Live Evil" is now on DVD!
"Live Evil," the movie I've been talking about for close to a year and reviewed here is now on DVD and available to purchase.
It's been a long time coming but "Live Evil" is finally on store shelves all over the country. If you don't have a reputable DVD seller near you (and by reputable I mean a seller that deals in damn near everything that comes out on DVD, from major studio releases to small independent movies like "Live Evil") go to the movie's website and order it from there or you can go here to amazon. You can also rent the flick from various video rental places, but you'll have to go to those places to find out if they have it.
The DVD contains the following:
- Unrated movie
- 5.1 Surround Sound
- Audio commentary with director Jay Woelfel, producer Mark Terry, and Mark Hengst ("Benedict")
- Deleted scenes
- Q & A with star Tim Thomerson and director Jay Woelfel at Fangoria LA convention
- Tim Thomerson intro from Flashback Weekend 2009
- Promo video of "Live Evil" at Fangoria Weekend of Horror 2009
- Theatrical trailer
- And more!
With all of those cool special features how could you not want to own "Live Evil"?
So go out right now (well, you can wait until after you finish reading this column) and purchase "Live Evil." You'll be glad you did.
Long live the Priest!
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Well, I think that'll be about it for this issue. B-movies rule, always remember that. And if there's anything you want to see reviewed here in this column, feel free to offer a comment below or send me an e-mail. I'm always on the lookout for new stuff to watch.
And don't forget to bookmark 411 via the little line below. You'll be glad you did.
"Trancers"
Tim Thomerson- Jack Deth Helen Hunt- Leena Michael Stefani- Martin Whistler/Detective Weisling Art LaFleur- McNulty Telma Hopkins- Engineer Ruth "Ruthie" Raines Biff Manard- Hap Ashby Richard Herd- Chairman Spencer Anne Seymour- Chairman Ashe Alyson Croft- 20th Century McNulty Peter Schrum- Murray/Santa Claus Michael McGrady- Chris Lavery
Directed by Charles Band Screenplay by Danny Bilson and Paul DeMeo
Distributed by Full Moon Pictures
Rated PG-13 for violence and language Runtime- 76 minutes
