The Gratuitous B-Movie Column 9.13.10: Issue #123 - Universal Soldier: Regeneration Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz on 09.13.2010
In this issue I take a look at the awesome "Universal Soldier: Regeneration" which came out in 2009.
The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Issue #123: "Universal Soldier: Regeneration" (2009)
Hello, everyone, and welcome once again to the internets movie review column that hasn't been indicted for tax fraud in Germany, The Gratuitous B-Movie Column, and I am your host Bryan Kristopowitz. In this issue, issue number one hundred and twenty-three, I take a look at "Universal Soldier: Regeneration," the big low budget sci-fi action flick from 2009 directed by John Hyams and starring Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren.
Universal Soldier: Regeneration (2009)
"Universal Soldier: Regeneration" is an amazing little sci-fi action flick that should have a higher profile than it does. Because it's the third movie (or the fifth movie if you count the two TV movies featuring Burt Reynolds) in a franchise starring Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren, two bonafide action movie heroes who don't get much respect from the mainstream movie world, "Regeneration" probably never had much of a chance being something bigger than a direct-to-video movie. And had director John Hyams, son of the great Peter Hyams, been more of a "name" director the movie probably could have had a bigger profile when it came out. None of that hooey stopped all involved from making a kick-ass movie, a movie that should have a good, long life on home video and on television.
The flick stars Van Damme as Luc Deveraux, one of the original subjects of the Universal Soldier program, a super secret military project that involved turning dead soldiers from the Vietnam war into super soldiers (we all saw that in the first "Universal Soldier" movie). Since either the end of the first movie or the end of the second movie (it's actually unclear if 1999's "Universal Soldier: The Return" is part of this movie's timeline) Deveraux has been living with Dr. Sandra Flemming (Emily Joyce), a Swiss doctor that has been trying to essentially reprogram Deveraux for several years, trying to make him "normal" again. In the midst of this recovery, Deveraux is reactivated by the U.S. military to help take down a Russian terrorist group that has kidnapped the Russian prime minister's son and daughter and taken over the old Chernobyl nuclear power plant, threatening to blow it up unless the Russian government releases a bunch of political prisoners. Deveraux is seen as the last good hope of the joint U.S./Russian military group that has been created to deal with this kind of terrorism.
See, the Russian terrorist group, led by General Boris (Aki Avni) has managed to retain the services of Dr. Colin (Kerry Shale), a rogue military scientist that was once part of the Universal Soldier inner circle. After getting fired or quitting or whatever the heck set him off, Dr. Colin managed to steal several Next Generation Unisols, the latest super soldier creation of the U.S. military. These NGUs are bigger, stronger, faster, and easier to control, and Dr. Colin uses one of them (Andrei "The Pitbull" Arlovski, an accomplished MMA fight) to guard the abandoned Chernobyl facility from any joint U.S/Russian assault. The NGU wipes out a group of regular soldiers, led by bad ass Captain Kevin Burke (Mike Pyle, also an accomplished MMA fighter), then absolutely decimates a reactivated original Unisol foursome. Deveraux was once considered the best of the Unisols, and if he can be brought back to where he was before the start of his "rehabilitation," he can stop the NGU.
One of the great things about this flick is how it ignores its own "ticking clock" plot and still manages to be a suspenseful, edge-of-your-seat action movie. You're concerned about the possibility of the terrorists blowing up the old Chernobyl plant at the beginning of the movie, but as soon as the NGU shows up and starts killing everything in sight he becomes the thing you have to worry about. How the heck is anyone going to be able to stop the NGU? Can Deveraux actually take the monster down? Deveraux, even after the intense therapy he's been subjected to, is still an incredibly damaged person that could crack under pressure and be unable to fulfill his mission objectives. If that happens... well, no one wants to think about that. That's pretty much when the "ticking clock" part of the story comes back into play.
Another great thing about the flick is how it manages to straddle the line between being an action flick and almost being a horror movie, with the NGU acting like the Predator alien from the first "Predator" movie and the original Unisols Ahnold's Special Forces rescue team. The movie has a great, dark and gloomy look about it, almost Gothic in nature. There is that blueish hue to damn near everything that you usually see in modern action movies that deal with events in and around Eastern Europe/Russia, but it isn't depressing. The gloominess is, instead, terrifying.
The action scenes are simply awesome. The flick starts off with a great car chase sequence that is a step above the usual low budget car chase. The gun fights are nasty and loud and bloody as hell. And then there are the fight scenes. Holy hooey are they brutal. Bones get broken, the blood flows, and when someone gets hit in the goddamn face they get hit in the goddamn face, usually repeatedly. It's mush face city.
Van Damme is brilliant as the wounded Luc Deveraux. He doesn't have many lines, just like in the first "Universal Soldier" flick, and acts through his facial expressions and his fight sequences. Because of the movie's genre and serious tone (this isn't "JCVD") Van Damme just isn't going to get the accolades he deserves for his performance. It's just a grim, silly action movie that isn't "fun" (meaning it doesn't allow you to laugh at it). What's so great about that? This is easily Van Damme's best performance as an actor, and if he keeps making movies and taking roles like this one the world is in for some great Jean-Claude Van Damme movies.
Andrei "The Pitbull" Arlovski is fucking awesome as the NGU. He's simply terrifying as soon as he's upright and moving around. When he picks up a gun and starts wasting everything in sight you crap your pants. And when he starts fighting... like I said, man, it's mush face city. Arlovski is Jason Voorhees without the hockey mask and dead zombie body. Mike Pyle does a great job as Captain Burke. He handles the action and fight scenes like a pro, and he handles his character's "quiet moments" like a pro, too. Pyle should have a good career ahead of him in the action movie world if he chooses to pursue it.
Now, Dolph Lundgren shows up in the middle of the movie as the second NGU that Dr. Colin brings along with him, a cloned version of the character he played in the first "Universal Soldier" movie, Andrew Scott. Since Scott was chopped up in a piece of farm machinery in the first movie it's a little weird seeing him back. But Lundgren makes the most of the weirdness and puts in yet another solid performance. His scenes with his terrorist handlers are fun to watch, and his fight with Van Damme is particularly ass kicking. Dolph doesn't exactly survive the movie, but if there is another "Universal Soldier" flick in the near future I wouldn't be surprised to see him back as Scott. Creating another clone of Dolph Lundgren can't be that difficult, can it?
Aki Avni does a good job as General Boris. He's a total sleazebag, but he's got enough personal charisma to make you sort of like him. Kerry Shale makes Dr. Colin the ultimate piece of shit. Even when he's grafting new arms onto the NGU he just oozes piece of shitness. Emily Joyce does a decent enough job as Deveraux's therapist Dr. Flemming. There's no real hint of romance between them, so her relationship with Deveraux is, for the lack of a better word, "different." You just don't see that kind of relationship in these kinds of movies.
"Universal Soldier: Regeneration" is a great movie watching experience, the kind of B-movie that you wish all B-movies were. It really is that awesome. Great performances, great action, just greatness all around. I can't wait to see the next "Universal Soldier" movie (if there isn't one that's a damn shame), and I can't wait to see what director John Hyams is going to do next. He could be the next big thing in the action movie (and maybe even the horror movie) world.
See "Universal Soldier: Regeneration." See it, see it, see it. It's great, awesome, kick-ass stuff.
So what do we have here? Gratuitous Eastern European museum, a guy gets hit by a van, a great little car chase with BMW wild flip, machine gun hooey, attempted road block breaking, gratuitous Chernobyl, a big ass box, bloody arm removal, gratuitous American and Russian generals talking, gratuitous secret underground lab, water boarding, gratuitous Jean-Claude Van Damme, neck cracking, head screws, gratuitous Jean-Claude Van Damme beating the shit out of a fat guy in a restaurant for no reason, several explosions, gratuitous retractable wrist blade to the eye, giant hook hooey, more machine gun hooey, a great hand-to-hand fight, head scissors with top of the head smashing, severe face punching, a meaningless grenade attack, a massive background explosion, slow motion drinking, gratuitous Jean-Claude Van Damme hanging out in Switzerland watching primates eat bugs off of other primates on television, gas grenade attack, a drum fire, needle to the back of the neck, gratuitous Jean-Claude Van Damme running on a treadmill, some serious knife play with blood spraying everywhere, gratuitous Dolph Lundgren, head smashing, Humvee into a tree, more serious knife play, a massive fight between Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren, wrist blade to the guts, wall breaking, lead pipe through the head, shotgun blast into the brain via lead pipe through the head, a booster shot, big ass bar through the neck, a steep fall, a big ass explosion, and a great set up for a sequel.
Best lines: "Hey, easy, for Christ's sake! There's spare parts in there!," "Good. You were very good today," "Deceased, as in dead?," "Repeat! Deactivate!," "I would rather die than see my father give in to you!," "You're the boss," "Where's my failsafe?," "We've come a long way from replicating sheep, haven't we?," "I am obliged to think beyond myself," "Andrew, did you hear the question?," "Hey, it's not for you to ask questions, okay?," "Are you a punctual and reliable person?," and "Fucking...prick."
Rating: 10.0/10.0
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And now, the weekly Fearnet update
Do you have Fearnet on your cable/satellite system? If you do, you're lucky because it's the only free all horror/thriller on Demand station going (it's also one of the few places that is proud of B-movies). If you're a Time Warner cable subscriber, you don't have it. You probably used to have it, but it was snatched away from you last year. But there is a way to see what Fearnet has to offer. Just go here.
Yes, that's the Fearnet website, where you can check out the free movies Fearnet has to offer (the site gets new ones every Wednesday), horror news, and more. "Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever" was on there last week. Is it still there?Check and see. The site also has a pretty nifty web series featuring Freddy Krueger hisself, Robert Englund, and Kane "Jason Voorhees" Hodder, "Fear Clinic" that's definitely worth a look.
If you're a Facebook nerd you can check out the Fearnet fans Facebook page, which can be seen here. There are plenty of people out there interested in Fearnet. Come join them.
(As always, thanks to both Mark Lindsey and Mathew Hirsch for info regarding the Fearnet fan movement).
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"Live Evil" is now on DVD!
"Live Evil," the movie I've been talking about for close to a year and reviewed here is now on DVD and available to purchase.
It's been a long time coming but "Live Evil" is finally on store shelves all over the country. If you don't have a reputable DVD seller near you (and by reputable I mean a seller that deals in damn near everything that comes out on DVD, from major studio releases to small independent movies like "Live Evil") go to the movie's website and order it from there or you can go here to amazon. You can also rent the flick from various video rental places, but you'll have to go to those places to find out if they have it.
The DVD contains the following:
- Unrated movie
- 5.1 Surround Sound
- Audio commentary with director Jay Woelfel, producer Mark Terry, and Mark Hengst ("Benedict")
- Deleted scenes
- Q & A with star Tim Thomerson and director Jay Woelfel at Fangoria LA convention
- Tim Thomerson intro from Flashback Weekend 2009
- Promo video of "Live Evil" at Fangoria Weekend of Horror 2009
- Theatrical trailer
- And more!
With all of those cool special features how could you not want to own "Live Evil"?
So go out right now (well, you can wait until after you finish reading this column) and purchase "Live Evil." You'll be glad you did.
Long live the Priest!
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Well, I think that'll be about it for this issue. B-movies rule, always remember that. And if there's anything you want to see reviewed here in this column, feel free to offer a comment below or send me an e-mail. I'm always on the lookout for new stuff to watch.
And don't forget to bookmark 411 via the little line below. You'll be glad you did.
"Universal Soldier: Regeneration"
Jean-Claude Van Damme- Luc Deveraux Dolph Lundgren- Andrew Scott Andrei "The Pitbull" Arlovski- NGU Mike Pyle- Captain Kevin Burke Emily Joyce- Dr. Sandra Flemming Aki Avni- General Boris Kerry Shale- Dr. Colin Corey Johnson- Col. John Coby Gary Cooper- Dr. Porter Zahary Baharov- Commander Topov
Directed by John Hyams Screenplay by Victor Ostrovsky, based on characters created by Richard Rothstein, Christopher Leitch, and Dean Devlin
Distributed by Sony Pictures Home Entertainment
Rated R for pervasive strong brutal violence and some language Runtime- 97 minutes
