Two Tivos To Paradise 09.30.11: American Horror Story, Homeland, The Biggest Loser, New Girl, Breaking Bad, More

Posted by Al Norton on 09.30.2011

News and thoughts on Keifer Sutherland's return to primetime, New Girl getting a full season, The Glee Project getting renewed, raves for Breaking Bad, reviews of American Horror Story & Homeland and more!



Hello friends. The big news this week is that I turn 40 tomorrow. Yes, I know, that means I am quite a bit older than the target demographics here at 411mania.com but I think I provide some nice perspective to my fellow writers, bringing wisdom to the table to match up with their youthful exuberance and obsession with boob shots. We are celebrating tomorrow by taking the twins to the aquarium (more for them than for me, I know) and I am keeping my fingers crossed that Mrs. Tivo makes one of her famous peanut butter pies. There is most definitely a trip to Texas Roadhouse planned for the weekend, too.

Here's a look at the upcoming final season of Chuck…





And a teaser for Luck, HBO's new horse racing drama set for early 2012…

Season 1 Tease

Will Dailey, the official singer/songwriter of TTTP, has a new album out right now!!! Will Dailey and the Rivals is available on iTunes and Amazon, with How Good it Feels being one of my favorite songs.


How Good It Feels by willdailey

Carry on my wayward son, there'll be news when you are done.

Let Us Be Lovers, We'll Marry Our Fortunes Together, I've Got Some Real Estate Here In My Bag
Two new cable dramas premiere this week, both generating a ton of positive press so far.

Homeland (Sunday, 10pm, Showtime), an adaptation of a popular Israeli series, is about a American POW rescued after 8 years in Iraq who may or may not have been turned into an Al Qaeda sleeper agent while in captivity. Damian Lewis (Life, Band of Brothers) stars at the soldier who comes home a hero, with Emmy winner Claire Danes as the CIA agent who thinks there may be something else going on. Mandy Patinkin and Morena Baccarin (V) co-star. Howard Gordon (24) is the showrunner, with former Dexter showrunner Chip Johannessen on board as an executive producer. The pilot is directed by Michael Cuesta (Six Feet Under, Dexter, Blue Bloods).

Lewis is a remarkable actor in his ability to have his face reveal nothing other than the fact that there is a lot going on under the surface – quite a skill to be able to show nothing while at the same time showing that there is indeed something being hidden – and he is fantastic in Homeland, making you think about what it would be like to be taken out not only your life but of the world in general for eight years, how you would react upon returning and how you would go about resuming what was your everyday schedule. From the outset I wasn't sure I would buy Danes as a CIA agent but she is more than up to the challenge, with her obsession with finding the truth about Lewis' Nicholas Brody being mostly work related but also fueled by other things. It is great to see Patinkin underplaying a role for a change and his performance is that much more effective because of it.

Gordon has had quite a 2011, with two shows on which he works as showrunner getting picked up (Homeland and NBC's phenomenal drama Awake, which premieres in early 2012). His work on 24 demonstrated a nice touch at juggling political theater and much more personal tensions, and this story being much smaller in focus, sharpens those skills even more. What makes Homeland work so well is that while there is the potential of a terrorist attack looming in the distance, it's really about people; the soldier trying to find his place in the world while recovering from years of physical and mental atrocities, the wife who was moving on with her life and now has to readjust, the CIA agent hell bent on stopping another 9/11 while grappling with her own demons. Homeland is easily among the best new shows of 2011and one I can't wait to see more of.





American Horror Story (Tuesday, 10pm, FX) comes from Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuck, who together also created Glee, and follows a family moving from Boston to Los Angeles as a way to move on from events from the recent past, getting a great deal on a house they don't realize has a dark history. Dylan McDermott and Connie Britton star as the house's new residents, with Oscar winner Jessica Lange as the next door neighbor. The supporting/recurring cast includes Frances Conroy, Zachary Quinto, Denis O'Hare, Alexandra Breckinridge, and Tate Langdon. The pilot was directed by Murphy.

I'll be honest, American Horror Story is so fraked up that I am not even sure how to describe it other than to say I am not sure I want to watch another episode and at the same time I'm not sure I couldn't not watch. Murphy and Falchuk certainly know how to push buttons, giving us all the standard parts of the genre (beautiful couple moving into new house thinking life will get better, crazy neighbors, strange/unexplained goings on that are ignored where most reasonable people would at least raise an eyebrow) while at the same time making it feel very modern.

The cast is strong enough to make the weak parts of the script palatable, and there are some visual flourishes that are inspired, but there's a whole lot of stuff that falls under the heading "out there" that will determine how much you enjoy the show; if you're into the out there stuff, you'll be eating American Horror Story up as fast as you can, and if you like your scary stuff to be more reality-based than you'll be moving out of this house fast.

I'd like to take a moment to point out that Murphy's got a three show resume (Nip/Tuck, Glee, and AHS) that rivals just about any I can think of in terms of pop culture buzz in the last 25 years (obviously Norman Lear would rank atop that all time list).

The highest praise I can give the American Horror Story pilot is that after watching it I realized I had a load of laundry that had finished its run in the dryer. I got halfway down the basement stairs, thought about what I had just watched, and decided I would get the clothes in the morning.





This Is My Same Old Coat, These Are My Same Old Shoes, It Was The Same Old Me, With The Same Old Blues
Dolvett Quince is an IFFA and ISSA certified trainer and the founder of Body Sculptor Inc, with his Body Sculpting Studio in Atlanta being the city's top fitness destination. His client list includes Janet Jackson and Ravens Tight End Daniel Wilcox, and he trained Justin Bieber before the pop superstar's most recent tour. He also created the best selling Me and My Chair workout DVD. Quince joined The Biggest Loser as a trainer this season and we recently caught up with to discuss…




TTTP: How did your Biggest Loser gig come to be?

DL: I received a call from Reveille for an audition. I auditioned on the ranch, the audition felt like an episode or what I thought an episode would feel like at the time. To put it simply it just felt right!!

TTTP: When you found out that Anna Kournikova was one of the trainers did you on any level think, "great athlete, yes, beautiful, sure, but a trainer?

DL: No, I thought Wow, she's going to bring some fresh eyes to the show, hope she is as nice to know as she is to look at.

TTTP: What was the biggest adjustment you faced in making the transition from doing what you do to doing what you do on camera?

DL: The biggest adjustment was traveling 30 sometimes 45 minutes to work, LA traffic is not fun. But you get used to it after awhile.

TTTP: What's been the biggest surprise you've had based on your expectations going in?

DL: The biggest surprise is seeing the contestants transform right in front of your eyes.

TTTP: Do you find training celebrities to be easier or harder than working with your other clients?

DL: Training celebrities is definitely harder than training other clients. The "celebs" schedule varies day to day and sometimes they are in such high demand that "working out" is pushed to the back burner. So when I get my hands on them, I make the best of it.

TTTP: What's the biggest mistake people make when trying to lose weight? Are there one of two basic things where, if everybody made those changes, the country would be much healthier?

DL: The biggest mistake people make is crash dieting. People always go back to where they were or in some cases worse. You never learn how to keep weight off, only to quick fix the problem, and we all know good things take time. This country would be better if people read what they were about to eat, yes read the label. And when dining out, knowing what to order and what to stay away from, ask questions.

TTTP: What sorts of new things can fans expect from this season of The Biggest Loser?

DL: Expect a focus on Lifestyle; teaching people what to do beyond the ranch. Expect different styles of workouts, great energy, and relatable stories. You'll be motivated to get on that treadmill and make a difference in your life!

Don't miss The Biggest Loser, Tuesdays at 8pm on NBC.

Sunny Day, Sweepin' The Clouds Away, On My Way To Where The Air Is Sweet
The Sesame Street video of the week…





But You Were Up To Your Old Tricks In Chapters Four Five And Six
All you need to know about the Nielsen's for the past 7 days…

THURSDAY
Community & Parks and Recreation had their worst season premiere numbers ever…Whitney opened to demos that were down 11% from what Outsourced did last fall (not a good sign)…Fox was thrilled with The X Factor, which gave the network its best Thursday demo numbers ever and the highest total viewer average for the night in 18 years…Prime Suspect had the worst Thursday drama premiere numbers in NBC history…Fox News coverage of the Republican presidential candidates debate drew 6.1 million total viewers, with demos that out performed several network programming options…Charlie's Angels didn't do great but it was a huge improvement over what My Generation did in the same slot last fall…Grey's Anatomy had the lowest rated season premiere in series history…Person of Interest was down 9% from CSI's performance in that timeslot last year to finish fourth in the demos, although it's total viewer audience was strong…The Mentalist won 10pm in total viewers and finished second in demos, down 13% from last fall…The Big Bang Theory easily won the night in the demos…

FRIDAY
Mixed news for Fringe in that the season premiere was down 30% from last fall's debut but up 25% in the demos from the season finale in the spring. Combined with Kitchen Nightmares numbers, Fox had their best Friday performance in 6 years…Nikita was down a smidge from its finale but almost 50% from the premiere last fall…Supernatural matched the finale numbers from the spring but was down double digits from its premiere last fall…Blue Bloods won the night in totals and demos…A Gifted Man did well in total viewers with 9.3 million but its demos were even with what Medium did with their premiere last fall (and those numbers eventually led to Medium being cancelled)…Dateline performed quite well for NBC, outdrawing much of the network's scripted programming from earlier in the week…

SUNDAY
Pan Am tied as the most watched new drama series of the fall and it actually built on its Desperate Housewives lead-in…The 17.7 million who watched NBC's Sunday Night Football were the evening's high, and the Steelers-Colts game was also the night's demo winner…Desperate Housewives was down 24% in totals and 28% in demos…Not great news for The Good Wife on its new night, finishing fourth in the demos…CSI: Miami was down a huge 31% in the demos from last fall's premiere…Family Guy had the best scripted demos of the night, with The Simpsons close behind…Boardwalk Empire was down 8% from its series premiere last fall, a very respectable number…

MONDAY
Day one of The Chew was up in totals and demos from what All My Children had averaged in the 1pm in the last year…Playboy Club was down 19% from its terrible first week, making it a serious candidate to be the first show of the new season to be cancelled…Two and a Half Men was down 30% from last week but still doubled the demo from week two last season and was more than enough to win the night (and likely the week)…Mike and Molly hit a series high in totals and demos with its season two premiere…How I Met Your Mother was down 6% but since that was from its top rated season premiere ever, this was the top rated episode two in series history, pretty impressive for a show this deep in its run…2 Broke Girls was down from its massive premiere with Two and a Half Men as a lead-in but impressively built on its lead-in audience…Hawaii 5-0 won 10pm in totals and demos…Gossip Girl was down 20% from last fall but matched last spring's finale…Hart of Dixie not only held on to 100% of its GG lead-in demos but it actually added 29% more total viewers…Terra Nova had solid numbers for its series premiere, with the audience for the last half hour larger than for the first, which is a good sign…

TUESDAY
It takes longer for the Live + 7 ratings to come in (for obvious reasons since the audience is measured by those who watched the show live and also anyone who watched on DVR technology within 7 days) but the Sons of Anarchy season premiere was most watched telecast in FX history and the demos were tops for a basic cable drama series in 2011…NCIS won the night (and the week) in total viewers with 19.2 million viewers and won 8:00 in demos for the second week in a row…NCIS: Los Angeles won 9pm in totals and demos…New Girl was down 8% in the demos, a very impressive second week and more than enough to easily win the night in demos…Parenthood was up in totals and demos but still finished second to Unforgettable in the latter and third behind Unforgettable and Body of Proof in the former…Both Body of Proof and Unforgettable were down from week one…90210 was up from its premiere to enjoy its most watched episode since April while lead-out Ringer was up slightly in total viewers…Glee was down 10% from week one, and Raising Hope dropped 6%...

WEDNESDAY
Suburgatory premiered strong, up 27% from the demos Better With You opened with in the same slot last fall…Modern Family won the night in demos…Happy Endings put up series highs in totals and demos but was also down from what Cougar Town opened with last year in that spot…Revenge was down 17% from week one and finished second at 10pm to CSI, which won demos and totals for the hour…The X-Factor was down 7% but still gave Fox the top demo average for the night…Free Agents was down 23% from last week's drop and is now on thin ice, or would be if NBC had anything else to sub in for it…Kim Kardashian helped H8R jump 50% in the demos to hit a series high (although the increase still didn't get the show to anywhere near decent numbers)….

All The Young Dudes, Carry The News
Industry News, Notes, and Hot Rumors…Fox gave New Girl a full season pickup, bringing the first season episode count to 24…Fox has ordered up a 13 episode first season of Touch, a drama from Tim Kring (Heroes) about a man who discovers his mute son can see the future. The show will serve as Emmy winner Keifer Sutherland's return to series TV and will co-star Danny Glover. It is likely to premiere in March, perhaps in the Mondays at 9pm slot that was the home to 24…Oxygen renewed The Glee Project for a second season…The X-Files creator Chris Carter is writing, directing, and executive producing a new drama for MRC, with the production commpany expected to start shopping the series to networks within a few weeks. The project is a mystery series with a female lead character...JJ Abrams is executive producing Revolution, a pilot for NBC written by Supernatural creator Erik Kripke…In a major show of confidence, Starz has renewed the Kelsey Grammer political drama Boss for a second season 3 weeks before the series premiere is set to air…Michael Green, who created the short-lived but much-loved Kings for NBC and is currently showrunner for ABC's mid-season supernatural drama The River, has sold a pilot to ABC about a female cop who finds that there is a secret society of people with magical powers living in New York City. Green also wrote for Heroes…Maura Tierney will guest on The Office…Dick Wolf's production company has sold two pilots to NBC, one about a lesbian couple who work at inner-city hospital in Philadelphia and the other about homicide detectives who can tap into the memories of murder victims to solve the cases…Greg Berlanti (Everwood, Dirty Sexy Money) and Greg Malins (How I Met Your Mother, Friends) sold a comedy pilot to CBS about Nick, who realizes the love of his life is his best friend Wendy, who is engaged to a nice guy that Nick likes…Paul Scheuring (Prison Break) has Zero Hour with ABC, a pilot about a regular guy who discovers a conspiracy of epic historical proportions… MTV may have cancelled The Hard Times of RJ Berger but they've hired the show's creator David Katzenberg to direct the pilot of Dumb Girls, a new comedy from the creator of the network's current comedy Awkward…Lifetime picked up a 4th season of Drop Dead Diva…Mike Royce's first post-Men of a Certain Age project is re-writing a pilot that's been in development for a couple of years; Little Brother is a comedy for Fox about a guy who discovers he has an adult half-brother who is an ex-con…Kevin Williamson (The Vampire Diaries, Dawson's Creek) has a pilot with Fox about a serial killer who creates a cult of other serial killers…Oscar nominated director Lee Daniels (Precious) is adapting the classic 60's novel The Valley of the Dolls into a series for NBC…Carter Bays and Craig Thomas, who created How I Met Your Mother together, have The Goodwin Games at Fox, a comedy pilot about three estranged siblings who come back together when their Dad dies…Legacy is a drama in development at CBS about a one-term President who goes back to his hometown to resume his legal career…Lifetime renewed Dance Moms for a second season…Animal Planet picked up a 10 episode second season of Tanked…Army Wives star and reigning Queen of TTTP Sally Pressman has signed a holding deal with NBC, meaning come next fall she will either be starring in a new show for the network or joining the cast of an existing series. Army Wives upcoming 6th season is widely rumored to be its last but even if it continues, it will be without Roxie…Speaking of deals, Dane Cook has signed one with NBC to develop a comedy for the 2012-2013 season…Bobby Bowman, who has executive produced on My Name is Earl and Yes, Dear, is developing an adaptation of the BBC comedy White Man Van for ABC, about a guy who puts his dreams of big business success on the backburner when he takes over his family's handyman business…Antoine Fuqua (Training Day) will direct a documentary feature about Suge Knight for Showtime…We told you about the new ABC Family series Bunheads last week (Vegas showgirl takes job working at mother in-law's dance studio) and now comes word that Tony winner Sutton Foster has landed the lead. As a reminder, the show is written by Gilmore Girls creator Amy Sherman-Palladino…CSI creator Anthony Zuiker is executive producing an ABC dramatic pilot about a female FBI agent who is an expert in changing her appearance to blend in. The script is written by Andrea Berloff (World Trade Center)…Sean Hayes' relationship with NBC continues to grow - he is executive producing Grimm and has a new comedy in development as well – with the network ordering a pilot for Restoration, a western from Hayes' production company. Kerry Ehrin (Friday Night Lights) is writing the script about a psychiatrist who moves West in the 1880's, taking his new fangled Eastern ways with him…This may be a bit tough to follow but here goes; Jonathan Goldstein, who co-wrote this summer's big screen hit Horrible Bosses, has sold a pilot to Fox based on a segment from Ira Glass' NPR series This American Life. The Man Upstairs is about a woman who buys a house for a ridiculously low price but part of the deal is that the senior citizen who owns it will continue to live there…Melinda McGraw, so great on Men of a Certain Age and best known for her stint on Mad Men, will guest as one of Gibbs' ex-wives on NCIS this fall…The creative team behind Numb3rs is adapting an Elmore Leonard short story about a Columbian mail-order bride who works in Miami as a fixer while dealing with her past into a pilot for NBC. The short story comes from the same book - When the Women Come Out to Dance - as Fire in the Hole, which was turned into Justified by FX. Doug Liman (Covert Affairs, Suits, The OC) is also on board as an executive producer.

Turns Out Not Where But Who You're With That Really Matters
(The Best of What's Around aka The Best Thing I've Watched In The Last Seven Days)…
Here are just some of the reasons the last two weeks have firmly entrenched Breaking Bad as the best show on TV in 2011 (I am adding that slight caveat as Mad Men didn't air in 2011, so there is no head-to-head comparison to make this time around)…

*When Ted trips in the early part of this past Sunday's episode. I loved it at the time and thought to myself, "I love those little details this show does so well", assuming it was just something to make the transition in a scene more interesting, never imagining what would happen 20 or so minutes later.

*Bill Burr's guest spot as an intimidator. Hardly the most imposing guy in the world, the Boston comedian channels his inner cool and comes across as a total bad ass. My guess is this episode leads to a LOT more work for him.

*The bond between Walt and Jesse. Yes, there are more issues than on a year's worth of Dr Phil, but both make clear to their bosses that if anything happens to the other, they walk.

*Walt being human. His break down with Walter, Jr. was the most real we have seen him since season one, letting his guard down (or rather, having it beaten into submission) and having all the emotion of the last year come pouring out. Bryan Cranston is a genius and, as I have said many times on this page, this is a Hall of Fame performance.

*Giancarlo Esposito. Each year one of the supporting cast members steps up, taking his/her already excellent work to an even higher level, and this season Esposito has joined Cranston, Aaron Paul, Anna Gunn, and Dean Norris as actors performing at such a high level that you couldn't imagine anyone else playing the role.

*The absolute lunacy of the end of last Sunday's episode. I mean it as high praise that a show this crazy, this tense, can find a way to ratchet it up, and to show the view looking down on Walt as he dissolved into laughter, unable to find a way to process everything crumbling around him, was a new high.

Only two episodes left in the season but I'm not going out on a limb by suggesting that Breaking Bad will be at the top of my 2011 Year's Best List come December.

People Say I'm Crazy Doing What I'm Doing. Well, They Give Me All Kinds Of Warnings To Save Me From Ruin
What's flashed before my eyes the last seven days…






Glee is off to a strong start, laying out the stories for the season and focusing on the characters we've invested in over the last two seasons. Also, the music has been top notch…A pretty great start of the season to The Office, with James Spader proving in almost no time what an inspired hire he was. The lunch conversation about "The Street" was especially brilliant. When The Office is at its best it mixes its comedy with some genuine sweetness, as was the case at the end of the season premiere when all the employees said goodbye to Andy as they left for the day…Despite abortion being a legal medical procedure that happens all across the country each and every day, a character on TV having one is a major rarity, so Grey's Anatomy gets credit for simply portraying a part of life that's not currently reflected on the small screen, but they get even more for showing that women who make the choice to have them aren't all minority teens using it as a form of birth control. There was nothing showy or manipulative about the way Christina's pregnancy was presented and it played out the way it should have in this instance. Much of the material she is given showcases her tough side but the moments she gets when her guard is down, like when Owen (the wonderful Kevin McKidd) said he would go with her, demonstrate her true range as an actress…My biggest issue with Ringer is that I still don't have any feel for who Bridget is. I know that in some ways that's the point, especially with the whole twins thing, but episode two seemed to be leaning too much on plot and not enough on character development…Free Agents really isn't particularly good but I find Hank Azaria and Kathryn Hahn to be so good in their roles that I still enjoy the show quite a bit; the laughs that it generates more than outweigh the dead spots…It has been so great to see Will Arnet playing a regular guy on Up All Night; the whole running use of the word "ironic" in episode two was hysterical. The show is about 10% too silly still, and I think Maya Rudolph's character, while entertaining, belongs on another show (Ava would have been a fantastic nemesis for Karen Walker), but I am still fully on board…SNL opened with a very strong episode, with Who's On Top, the Top Gun screen tests, and Alec Baldwin's Tony Bennett being highlights. I also loved the final segment, the dying soldier's last wish sketch, which was silly but made me laugh out loud more than once. Hey, since I mentioned it, here's the Top Gun sketch…




…How I Met Your Mother was close to an instant classic, with some really wonderful moments with Ted and Victoria. It was also an episode that demonstrated what Bob Saget adds to the show as the narrator; he may only get a few lines an episode but he nails the wistfulness and as such is believable as an older Ted…Loving the Jonah Hill – Matthew Morrison feud on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. FYI – Hill might be the best talk show guest around right now; he's naturally funny and engaging and he also realizes that as a guest he has a responsibility to entertain the audience…I know New Girl embraces its inner (and outer) cheese with abandon but that's one of the reasons I like it so much, even when it goes a bit heavy on the quirk. Come on, who doesn't love a good Curly Sue reference?!?!?...Raising Hope has not lost any semblance of a step from its great first season so far, and the pairing with the aforementioned New Girl makes for one of the better hours of comedy on TV…I know no one actually takes Gossip Girl seriously but Chuck Bass is such a ridiculous character I laugh out loud at him, and not in the way they are going for. It's one thing when soaps – and make no mistake, Gossip Girl is a soap – have relatively normal people going through outrageous plot situations but in this case the combination of writing and performance is such that even Megan Mullally thinks it needs to be dialed back notch…I may have thought Parenthood was a little plot heavy in the season premiere but the two weeks that have followed have been excellent, with a host of wonderful little moments that translate to the show having a sense of realism that is severely lacking in TV. Peter Krause's work as Nate is as good as you will find in network programming right now…You know who needed air, too? Snorkles!!!...Happy Endings returned with a solid but not spectacular outing, reminding me why I was so happy the series got a second season…I laughed enough at Suburgatory to give it at least one more chance. Gentle satire but still funny...The Middle's Eden Sher is a comedic force of nature and but one of the many reasons the show is as high quality as it is...

TV Pick Of The Week
Even though my beloved Red Sox choked this season I am still quite excited for the start of the MLB Post Season, especially since, unlike the NBC playoffs, the first round doesn't take two weeks to finish. Here's the schedule for round one, with all games airing on TBS…

Today
Rays – Rangers, 5:07pm
Tigers – Yankees, 8:37pm

Saturday
Rays – Rangers, TBD
Tigers – Yankees, TBD
Cardinals – Phillies, TBD
Brewers – Diamondbacks, TBD

Sunday
Cardinals – Phillies, TBD
Brewers – Diamondbacks, TBD

Monday
Yankees – Tigers, TBD
Rangers – Rays, TBD

Tuesday
Yankees – Tigers, TBD (if needed)
Rangers – Rays, TBD (if needed)
Phillies – Cardinals, TBD
Diamondbacks – Brewers, TBD

Wednesday
Phillies – Cardinals, TBD (if needed)
Diamondbacks – Brewers, TBD (if needed)

Thursday
Tigers – Yankees, TBD (if needed)
Rays – Rangers, TBD (if needed)

I LOVE that there are FOUR games on Saturday, and the potential for another all day affair on Tuesday. Don't miss the Divisional Round of the MLB Playoffs, all this week on TBS!

Hope You Need My Love, Babe, Just Like I Need You
Other viewing options from the next seven days…

*Disney looks to launch another huge tweener show with the premiere of Jessie (tonight, 9pm), about a Nanny who works for a not-so-cookie-cutter family.

*Hugh Laurie: Let Them Talk – A Celebration of New Orleans Blues (Tonight, 9pm, PBS) finds the non-Emmy winner playing host on a visit to the musical high points of the legendary city as well as performing with the likes of Dr. John and Tom Jones.

*Bedlam, a new drama about supernatural activity at an apartment complex built on the grounds of a former insane asylum, premieres tonight at 10pm on BBC America.






*What to do when you're stuck home on a Saturday night? Watch a Weird Al concert, of course! Comedy Central debuts Weird Al Yankovic Live! – The Alpocalypse Tour Saturday a 9pm and yes, it includes a polka medley.

*Day Jobs (Sunday, 8pm) is a new GAC series where country stars go back to their routes by going back to work at one of their pre-fame jobs. The first episode finds Trace Adkins back on an oil rig.

*What to when you're stuck home on a Saturday night? Watch a special about Celine Dion trying to handle being a mom to newborn twins and plan a new Vegas show, of course! OWN premieres Celine: 3 Boys and a New Show Saturday at 9pm and sadly, no, it does not include a polka medley.

*Andy Rooney gives his final essay segment on this Sunday's 60 Minutes, bringing his 33 year run of closing the show to an end. No word yet on what will take that final spot next week.

*Sunday is a big night for returning cable series, with Dexter (9pm, Showtime), Hung (10pm, HBO), and How to Make it In America (10:30pm, HBO) all back with new seasons.

*TV Guide Network airs the first two hours of The 100 Moments That Changed TV - a five part series that includes some serious names among their talking heads, including Tom Brokaw, Larry King, Robin Roberts, and Bryant Gumbel - Sunday at 9pm.

*If you are need of a Kardashian fix than check out the fourth hour of The Today Show next week as Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, Kris, and Bruce Jenner all take a day sitting in for Kathie Lee as guest host with Hoda Kotb.

*VH-1's Pop Up Video has been gone for 10 years but in that TV pop culture has become even snarkier, so I expect the new batch of episodes that start running Monday at noon to be sharper and funnier than ever.

*The current season of Warehouse 13 comes to a close with a two hour episode this Monday at 9pm on Syfy.





*House begins the post-Cuddy era – and most likely its final season – Monday at 9pm on Fox.

*The A-List may become Logo's Real Housewives of…, with a new cast and city (Dallas) launching on Monday at 10pm


*FX's The League, which gives ultra dark comedy a good name, kicks off season three Thursday at 10:30pm.

Two Tivos To Paradise
24 Hour Restaurant Battle, 30 Rock, After the Catch, American Idol, Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations, Antiques Roadshow, Archer, Auction Hunters, The Big C, Boardwalk Empire, Being Human, Bones, Bored To Death, Breaking Bad, Burn Notice, Celebrity Apprentice, Cake Boss, Chopped, Chuck, The Closer, Community, Cougar Town, Crave, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, The Deadliest Catch, Desperate Housewives, Destination Truth, Entourage, Eureka, Fact or Faked, Falling Skies, Fairly Legal, Flipping Out, Food Feuds, Food Network Challenge, Food Network Star, Free Agents, Ghost Hunters, Ghost Hunters Academy, Ghost Hunters International, Ghost Lab, Glee, Gossip Girl, Great Food Truck Race, Grey's Anatomy, Happy Endings, Haunted Treasure, Hawaii 5-0, Hollywood Treasure, House, How I Met Your Mother, How To Make It In America, Hung, If You Really Knew Me, Iron Chef America, Justified, Kate Plus 8, The Killing, The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, Law And Order: Special Victims Unit, Louie, Mad Men, Man v. Food Nation, The Middle, Mike and Molly, Modern Family, Necessary Roughness, New Girl, Next Great American Restaurant, Next Iron Chef, The Office, One Tree Hill, Outside the Lines, Parks & Recreation, Private Practice, Project Runway, Psych, Raising Hope, Real Time With Bill Maher, Rescue Me, Restaurant Impossible, Revenge, Ringer, Rocco's Dinner Party, Royal Pains, Rules Of Engagement, Sanctuary, Saturday Night Live, The Secret Circle, Shear Genius, So You Think You Can Dance?, Sons of Anarchy, The Soup, Suits, Supernatural, Table For 12, Top Chef, Top Chef Just Desserts, Top Chef: Masters, Top Design, Torchwood, Tosh.0, True Blood, Up All Night, The Vampire Diaries, The Voice, The Walking Dead, Warehouse 13, Web Soup, Wilfred, Worst Cooks In America,

People Love You When They Know You're Leaving Soon
Here ends another Two Tivos To Paradise.






We'll be back next week with all the latest in TV news. Insert pitch for "readers to click like on the Two Tivos to Paradise Facebook page and join in the fun, interacting with your fellow TV fans and also maybe winning some prizes, too" here!

Sources for this week's column include Daily Variety, Entertainment Weekly, TV Guide, and Hollywood Reporter (plus the web sites for those publications) as well as Aintit.cool.com, TVline.com & Deadline.com.