The Hollywood 5 & 1 12.17.11: Lindsay in Playboy Edition!

Posted by Steve Gustafson on 12.17.2011

Kate Upton takes on Sophie Howard and Monica Bellucci battles Jodie Gasson in Vs, Barbara Walters takes on the Kardashian family, reactions to Lindsay Lohan's Playboy spread, Scarlett Johansson wants to be taken seriously, Sofia Vergara causes a stir, Rachel Aldana is your "& 1" Model of the Week and more!

BEFORE WE BEGIN...
I'm Steve Gustafson and we're back for another week of celebrity gossip, hot women, and goofy fun. I read through all the tabloid magazines and gossip sites so you don't have to. Still around!

Do you enjoy the 5 & 1 format? Of course you do! Check this out. First up is the NEWEST member to the 5 & 1 club...Stewart Lange with his The MMA 5 & 1! Next is The Music 5 & 1 by Jeremy Thomas. Bringing up the rear is The Wrestling 5 & 1 by Greg De Marco. Check it out! Oh yeah, besides writing about the zany lives of famous people, I cover movie news! Yes, that's right. Each and every Monday I do the Big Screen Bulletin.


I had a good laugh while I was reading Porfirio Diaz's Movies/TV's 3R's this past week. His column is a must-read for me, as I try to guess what he is going to have in each category. He always finds a way to surprise! He even found a way to bring a little 5 & 1 action:

Four possible Kardashian spinoffs? Why not just light my eyes on fire right now: Scary news from the entertainment capital of the world and not exactly the kind of world I no longer wish to be a part of.


Are you ready? Ready for more Kardashian madness, I mean? Yes, there is a growing group of angered pop culture consumers joining a boycott against the family, but E! has no plans to stop keeping up with the Kardashians! In fact, the cable network is looking to ramp up their offerings featuring the world's premiere reality family. Bonnie Hammer, the new cable entertainment chair of NBCUniversal, spoke with The Hollywood Reporter about her vision for E!, promising more highbrow coverage from the network.

That, however, doesn't preclude new Kardashian series; while current iterations of the franchise may go by the wayside, she told THR that she's hoping for "two, three, even four new Kardashian [spinoffs]." - Steve Gustafson's The Hollywood 5 & 1 via The Hollywood Reporter


Is the new spin-off titled Kardashian Klan Battles the Lava Monster? Will this be one of the few times everyone in the world would watch? Just so they could watch the villain win?

Oh, and hey, I actually sourced a fellow 411 columnist. Steve seems to be in pretty good spirits about it, whereas I will plan to follow Brendan Fraser in Blast from the Past and hold myself up in complete solitude for 35 years. Say what you want but it beats having to live in a world where four possible Kardashian spinoffs exist.

Believe me, I'm only in good spirits about it because of the plentiful stories they will bring me!


ROAD TO AVN!
I have some pretty cool (And pretty big) interviews coming up! I threw this together after we got back last year with some left over clips. Gives you a taste of the event. This year I'll have more interviews, more pictures, and tweeting live from all the events! Make sure you're following @stevethegoose so you don't miss out on any of the goodness! Enjoy!




VS
Quick rundown of the rules. The winner stays! 4 wins gets you to the Hall of Bang! It's that simple. Feel free to throw in your suggestions for that number one spot in the comments or email me at [e-mail]!

Our OFFICIAL HALL OF BANG!

Stacey Dash
Salma Hayek
Jennifer Love Hewitt
Sofia Vergara
Mila Kunis
Scarlett Johansson
Keeley Hazell
Mya Jane
Susan Coffey
Holly Peers
Denise Milani
Penelope Cruz
Arianny Celeste!

Once we have 16 members in the Hall of Bang we'll be having a tourney to crown Miss Bang! That's right. From the sweet 16 to one, where YOU decide who's numero uno!

In the three-way tangle you all left no doubt who the winner was! Getting win number 3...Kate Upton! She faced a little challenge from Miranda Kerr and Leilani Dowding but her 30 votes was enough to beat back Kerr's 18 and Dowding's 7! With that win Upton is just one away from entering...The Hall of Bang!

To do so she'll face her stiffest competition to date. Sophie Howard. Sophie took on a very tough Jordan Carver last week. Competition was intense but she was able to hold on to the lead, winning with 35 votes to Carver's 22!

Can Kate hold on one more week to attain Hall status? Will Sophie play the upset card and unseat the champ? Do you all realize this is all in fun? I'm not sure sometimes. Regardless, Kate. Sophie. GO!

Kate Upton VS. Sophie Howard



VOTE BELOW!

In the event Kate wins we will need two new challengers to step into the top spot. First up is a classic battle of classic beauty vs. new sexy. Monica Bellucci returns to VS. to take on newcomer Jodie Gasson!

Monica Bellucci VS. Jodie Gasson



VOTE BELOW!

In the second fight this week we have two 5 & 1 favorites! Both are recent "& 1" Models and are meeting up for their first ever VS.! I present Catrinel Menghia and Emily Scott!

Catrinel Menghia VS. Emily Scott



VOTE BELOW!


CELEBRITY TWITTER-A-GO-GO!
Make sure you're following all the comings and goings around 411mania on Twitter! Follow me for some witty tweets from time-to-time as well.

Follow on Twitter:
http://www.twitter.com/stevethegoose
http://www.twitter.com/411mania
http://www.twitter.com/411wrestling
http://www.twitter.com/411moviestv
http://www.twitter.com/411music
http://www.twitter.com/411games
http://www.twitter.com/411mma


MYSTERY RUMP!
So in MYSTERY RUMP/RACK it's real simple. I present to you a pick of a mystery rack (or rump!) and YOU tell me who it is. Easy, right? For some of you this might present a challenge so I'll give you a couple clues each week. But they won't be obvious clues. You'll have to really look hard to figure it out!

Who was it last week? Looks like I'll have to up my game since MNM comes in like he owns the joint, makes a mess, and then correctly guesses the Mystery Rack! None other than...Brooke Tessmacher/Adams!



Let's keep it going. Clues for this week:

* Her voice has been on an animated series.

* One year she won Best Youth Comedienne.

Gentlemen, start your guesses!



Stop by next week for the reveal!


VIDEO-O-GO-GO
This seems to be making the rounds on the interweb. Like it or not, this takes some serious skill and dedication! Indyanimation is a stop motion animated, shot for shot remake of the six minute opening scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark!




Alright, let's get to the actual Hollywood 5 & 1. I go through 5 things out of Hollywood this past week that made me scratch my head plus our "& 1" Model of the Week! Let's go!




Thoughts on The Lohan!
Late last week I discussed Lindsay Lohan's Playboy pictures that were leaked onto the internet. Word came out that someone came across the photos on a file sharing service in Russia and then they were widely dispersed from there. Hugh Hefner and his crack team sprang into action and began offering downloaded copies of the magazine on the Playboy website, but the damage was done.

As you know Lohan's fee was in the neighborhood of one million dollars, so it's important for the issue to sell, both for Playboy's bottom line and Lohan's ego. The issue is on newsstands now. I'm curious.

How many of you purchased the issue? How many of you have seen the pictorial? Thoughts?



Who's next?


WHAT THE!
OK, my fiance gave me a hard time about this story because it's "old news". But I just read about it and it's my column so I'm putting it in here!

WHAT THE HELL?

Lauren Scruggs, a model and fashion blogger, was severely injured when she accidentally walked into a spinning plane propeller on December 3rd.

WHAT THE HELL?

The visual on that is insane! To me that would be game over but Lauren has a good news/bad news thing going on. "Lauren is recovering remarkably well, given the circumstances," her mother, Cheryl Scruggs, said in a statement Wednesday night. "The doctors are VERY pleased with her progress." Unfortunately, Scruggs, who lost her left hand and suffered facial and shoulder injuries in the accident as well, had to have her left eye removed on Wednesday. "She is in excruciating pain," says her mother. "Please pray for her appetite to return and for her to have the patience to take this journey one day at a time...We have been praying for a miracle," Cheryl continues, and though doctors weren't able to save Lauren's eye as they'd hoped, Cheryl adds: "The miracle that Jesus gave us is a prosthesis. We continue to be eternally grateful for your prayers and support. It means more than words can say." Scruggs's family and friends regularly update her condition on her Caring Bridge website, and they've set up a Lauren Scruggs Hope Fund for donations to help with her ongoing care.

All the best to Lauren in her family in one of the craziest accidents I've read about!



Wish you a speedy and compete recovery.


Johansson 2.0.
Here we go. It always happens. An attractive actress comes to a certain time in her career and feels the need to downplay her looks and tell the world, "Look at me! But not in that way!"

Scarlett Johansson is one of those actresses where separating her gorgeous looks from her acting ability is nearly impossible. Look, David Fincher revealed to Vogue that the actress was a contender for the lead role in The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo but, ultimately, Miss Scarlett was deemed...TOO SEXY! Now she's sharing screen time with Matt Damon in Cameron Crowe's We Bought A Zoo. She revealed to NYMag that ultimately she's hoping to transition out of her sexpot image. "I think that as I get older, I'm now looking at roles that move away from that kind of ingénue mold and are more based on women that are experienced and have had life before the point you find them in. That's refreshing for me. It's nice to be able to kind of transition into that. I feel like for me, right now, I don't wanna take on any roles that aren't challenging in some way. I never wanna play something I've done before. I wanna be able to just have everything be hard in some way. Otherwise, what's the point?"

Hmmm...what's the point...what's the point...what's...the...point...



This picture has nothing to do with the point!


I See London, I See France!
Now you fellas have said some pretty mean things. Some of which were true...I've catch some heat about this column. Some people don't get it. I've long maintained that 411mania is filled with great columns. Plenty to read, plenty of subject matter to debate. So what's the harm in a column that you can just...relax? Enjoy the female form. Read a little celebrity tidbits. And move on. Life is serious enough.

Now, I can be theatrical, and maybe even a little rough, but one thing I am not, is a killer! I am an artist. I love a good party. So, truce. Commence au festival! Enjoy Sofia Vergara, who left little to the imagination by rocking a pair of see-through black tights.

Think about this as you're standing in line doing your holiday shopping.



Yes, I was quoting Batman. I knew if I didn't say anything some of you would rush to comment.


What's the BUZZ?
Barbara Walters is a funny lady. She told the women of the Kardashian family (Kourtney, Kim, Khloe and mom Kris Jenner), "You don't have any talent!" The world rejoiced that someone said it! It was during their interview as part of Walters' 18th annual 10 Most Fascinating People special.

Barbara gave it to her straight. "You don't really act; you don't sing; you don't dance. You don't have any...forgive me...any talent," Walters told the family. "But we're still entertaining people," explained Khloe, as Kim chimed in offering her thoughts: "I think it's more of a challenge for you to go on a reality show and get people to fall in love with you for being you, so there is definitely a lot more pressure, I think for being famous for being ourselves."

What does that mean? Walters wanted to know about what Kim is perhaps most famous for, her 2007 sex tape with Ray J, asking if in hindsight the sex tape was a "good thing to have done?" "I have made mistakes in my life, for sure," Kim admitted as mom and manager Kris jumped in reminding her daughter with the obligatory comment, "You learned a lot from that." Jenner told Walters the experience was "devastating for the whole family and you cry yourself to sleep for a few nights, then you hire a really good attorney and try to make something, you know, better happen."

I think we all know that without that tape the Kardashian family would barely be a footnote in quasi-celeb history. The tape may not have taken talent but it's undeniably turned into good business.

The interview was done in September before Kim's divorce and Walters told David Letterman earlier this week her when producers asked Kardashians if anything was going to happen between now and when the show will air they were assured nothing newsworthy would take place. Then Kim files for divorce. "Then Kourtney gets pregnant. Then Khloe's moving to Dallas. You cannot trust the Kardashians," she said to Letterman.

Walters speaks the truth.






Welcome back to the & 1 Model of the Week! Where we search this thing called the internet to find a lovely lady to appreciate in all her beauty.

The & 1 Model of the Week brings us...Rachel Aldana! Yes, I'll probably catch some flack over her pictures but it's the holidays! I need to give you all something to put in your stockings!



Ladies and Gentlemen, I present…Rachel Aldana!



Ho Ho Ho!

Stop back next week for another & 1 Model of the Week!


Before I say GOODBYE!
I would be remiss if I didn't mention some of the other OUTSTANDING articles on www.411mania.com. You would be doing yourself a disservice if you didn't peep around the site. I always get my daily habit of reading. Here's a small sample!

*****Top 5 Best Movie Detectives by Trevor Snyder and Company Catch last weeks edition!
*****Ten Deep: The Top Ten Santas by Mike Gorman
*****A Bloody Good Time by Joseph Lee.
*****Two Tivos to Paradise by Al Norton
*****Fact or Fiction by Ben Piper This week: Jeremy Thomas and Jeremy Wilson debate!


Playboy has been kind enough to release me on the lovely Playmates. Here's some interviews to keep you entertained!

Miss January
Miss February
Miss March
Miss April
Miss July
Miss August
Miss September
Miss October
Miss November
Miss December

Finally, if you have some down time and are looking for a great place for great fun, check out Tiger Flash Games!

Do you have something to say? A celebrity story? Juicy gossip? Shoot me an email at [e-mail]. Thanks again, be safe out there, and just chill...till the next episode...

If you or someone you know is feeling isolated, don't hesitate to call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline [phone].

All pictures courtesy of www.people.com, TMZ.com, www.cnn.com, and www.imdb.com.