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The Hollywood 5 & 1 01.07.11: Celebrity Couples Edition
Posted by Steve Gustafson on 01.07.2012

I'm Steve Gustafson and we're back for another week of celebrity gossip, hot women, and goofy fun. I read through all the tabloid magazines and gossip sites so you don't have to. Welcome back!

Thanks to the reader about the info on the baby item story last week! I never would have guessed and your confirming the high price of kids has made me stock up on Trojans! Who would have though strollers would be so pricey?

But first, do you enjoy the 5 & 1 format? Of course you do! Check this out. First up is the newest member to the 5 & 1 club...Sean Garmer with his The Games 5 & 1! Following up is Stewart Lange with his The MMA 5 & 1! Next is The Music 5 & 1 by Jeremy Thomas. Bringing up the rear is The Wrestling 5 & 1 by Greg De Marco. Check it out! Oh yeah, besides writing about the zany lives of famous people, I cover movie news! Yes, that's right. Each and every Monday I do the Big Screen Bulletin.

For anyone who might have been confused last week; the first one is Sarah Shahi from last week and the second one is Eva Longoria.

As AVN nears my mailbox is flooded weekly with screens from the best and brightest that the adult film industry has to offer. To switch up from the interviews I thought it would be fun to run a little feature-within-a-feature action. That's right. It's the return of...

I received two very different parody films the other day. I'll be reviewing both over the next two weeks to give you an idea about the wide range a spoof film can take.

I was lucky enough to interview a few members from Extreme Comixxx at AVN last year. It was there that they told me about some of the big movie ideas they had coming. Among them was Iron Man XXX: An Extreme Comixxx Parody. I was very curious about this one, especially when you consider how loved Iron Man is to mainstream audiences and it got me thinking, "How are they going to do the armor without it looking...cheap?"

My questions were answered very quickly when I received the beautifully packaged Iron Man XXX: An Extreme Comixxx Parody. Looking at the box I saw an impressive sight. Chanel Preston, Heather Starlet, Amber Rayne, and Gracie Glam. Oh, and the armor! Yes, I'm pleased to say that the armor was far from cheap and the designers didn't resort to any CGI to enhance it.

Seth Gamble had the tough task of following in Robert Downey Jr.'s shoes in the role of Billionaire Tony Stark. Instead of following in his footsteps, Gamble took the strong traits of Stark that was established in the Marvel comic book and made the role his own. Funny, charming, and a man who enjoys his drink, Gamble had a strong swagger in the lead role. In fact, the scene between him, Tanya Tate and Barry Scott started the movie in a strong direction.

Like most adult films, the scenes breathe off the ladies involved. And Iron Man XXX doesn't disappoint. Starlet understands the role of Assistant Pepper Potts, balancing the line between assisting Gamble as Stark and holding her own in each scene. One thing Extreme Comixxx was afraid to do was add in some extra characters to the mix. Namely Rayne as Madame Masque and Jordan Lane as Hulk. The special feature of Lane and Preston (as a drop dead perfect Black Widow) make this a must own DVD purchase. In fact, when you watch any scene Chanel is in, you'll instantly crave to see her more.

The plot is pretty basic but it allows the actors plenty of room to enjoy the characters they play. Comic book fans will enjoy seeing them bring to life their favorite heroes (and villains) to life...in an adult world! I did chuckle with how they dealt with the effects of flying in the suit but a parody film largely plays to our fond memories of the subject material. Iron Man XXX indeed captures the spirit of the mainstream movie and the comic book. Like I mentioned before, the armor itself was an achievement. I applaud Extreme Comixxx for taking on the comic world's heavy hitters and would very much life to see Iron Man XXX grow into a franchise. If you're a comic or parody fan, this is one you will have fun with!

Quick rundown of the rules. The winner stays! 4 wins gets you to the Hall of Bang! It's that simple. Feel free to throw in your suggestions for that number one spot in the comments or email me at stevethegoose@gmail.com!


Stacey Dash
Salma Hayek
Jennifer Love Hewitt
Sofia Vergara
Mila Kunis
Scarlett Johansson
Keeley Hazell
Mya Jane
Susan Coffey
Holly Peers
Denise Milani
Penelope Cruz
Arianny Celeste
Kate Upton

Once we have 16 members in the Hall of Bang we'll be having a tourney to crown Miss Bang! That's right. From the sweet 16 to one, where YOU decide who's numero uno!

It might be 2012 but you all are still giving me the 2011 "TIE" dilemma! Even discounting a number of "duplicate" votes, Kelly Brook and Monica Bellucci were involved in one of the most back and forth matches VS. has ever seen. The lead changed a number of times and just when I thought one was going to pull away, a flood of votes for the other came in to even it up. Both ladies finished with 34 votes.

In the second match we had Jersey Shore personality JWoww try to overcome the "reality show" hurdle by taking on newcomer Sarah Shahi. It was not to be. Sarah easily took out JWoww, 48 votes to 14.

So looks like we have our self a triple threat set up! Can Monica beat out Kelly? Will Sarah split the votes enough to overtake and get the win? Will one of these ladies earn a spot in the Hall of Bang? It's all up to YOU!

Monica Bellucci VS. Kelly Brook VS. Sarah Shahi


We will need a challenger to meet the winner next week! Let's call up two and see who it will be! I wanted to run Lacey Banghard here but her love of going topless presents a problem. So I thought about a couple ladies who I've kept on the back burner for a while This week Jessica Alba makes another run at the top against Carmen Electra.

Jessica Alba VS. Carmen Electra


Make sure you're following all the comings and goings around 411mania on Twitter! Follow me for some witty tweets from time-to-time as well.

Follow on Twitter:

So in MYSTERY RUMP/RACK it's real simple. I present to you a pick of a mystery rack (or rump!) and YOU tell me who it is. Easy, right? For some of you this might present a challenge so I'll give you a couple clues each week. But they won't be obvious clues. You'll have to really look hard to figure it out!

Who was it last week? What's this? Did MNM take the week off? Or was he stumped by the Mystery Rump last week? A couple of guesses but no one got it right. Our RUMP last week belonged to none other than...Kyesha Marie!

Let's keep it going. Clues for this week:

* She retired from the modeling scene to go back to college.

* Been in a number of videos.

Gentlemen, start your guesses!

Stop by next week for the reveal!

I don't know the science to all of this but if the researchers at the Japan Institute for Science and Technology say they have something cool to do with controlled quantum levitation...I'm there! Check out the video to see what theses uber-smart dudes do when they decide to make a working hover ship racetrack as inspired by the WipeOut video game series.

But is this real? Or is it fake?

Alright, let's get to the actual Hollywood 5 & 1. I go through 5 things out of Hollywood this past week that made me scratch my head plus our "& 1" Model of the Week! Let's go!

Look like these two are finally...in sync. Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are engaged and Huffington Post gave us a quickly little timeline of their relationship set to the titles of some of his songs!

When they met, it was like Summer Love, though the two first were paired together in the winter of 2007, shortly after Timberlake said Cry Me A River to Cameron Diaz. Immediately, it was declared that Timberlake's quickly-recovered mojo as helping him take Sexyback. Photographed together almost incessantly, the world fantasized about the Magic happening between the two; (And She Said) Take Me Now could well sum up the tabloids' coverage of their sexy relationship. They continued to date, though they weren't without their rough patches. They were rumored to Take Away [Their] Love a number of times, including in 2009 and in 2010, when Timberlake allegedly decided to Work It with Olivia Munn. He was supposedly Love Stoned, and worried I Think She Knows, but they stayed together. The couple stayed strong, avoiding the paparazzi's rumors with some Crowd Control, but in March 2011, Timberlake and Biel decided they were Better Not Together and to only give each other One Last Cry and broke up. What Goes Around Comes Around, indeed; maybe he gave her a Dick In A Box? But the break wouldn't last long; Justin showed Jessica was Still On My Brain, and Hallelujah, they now look like they'll be together Until The End of Time, or at least until they're Dead and Gone.

That's pretty clever. But I have a question for you. Will these to make it or will it be Bye, Bye, Bye?

It's gonna be her!

Divorce Rumors: Part Two!
I'm starting to think Aunt Viv is behind this! Despite denying divorce rumors back in August, it appears that Will and Jada Pinkett Smith may be finally going their separate ways. According to In Touch Weekly. The magazine is reporting that Jada Smith recently met with celebrity divorce lawyer Laura Wasser, who has represented the likes of Britney Spears, Maria Shriver, and Kim Kardashian. A source told In Touch that Smith has "finally begun to take steps to dissolve their marriage," even reportedly turning down a role in Keanu Reeves directorial debut to spend time with her kids during this "difficult time." The magazine first reported that Will and Jada had separated in August after 13 years of marriage. The pair issued a statement in response to the allegations: "Although we are reluctant to respond to these types of press reports, the rumors circulating about our relationship are completely false. We are still together, and our marriage is intact." The star couple have two kids, Jaden and Willow, whose careers were reportedly at the root of the Smiths' marital problems, and Will Smith has one son from a previous marriage.

Is it for real this time or just more rumor mongering from the tabloids? Thoughts?

What does this mean for Karate Kid 2?

Wedding Bells for Drew!
We are starting out 2012 with all sorts of love! Who is this guy that won the heart of Drew Barrymore? I'm talking about Will Kopelman, of course, who recently popped to the question to Barrymore. They have been romantically linked since February of last year, though they've remained pretty private about their relationship. People magazine gave us the lowdown on this fellow.

* The Boston University alum is the son of former Chanel CEO Arie Kopelman. It just so happens that his mother's name is Coco. His sister is author Jill Kargman, who's written irreverent and sometimes-outrageous books such as Momzillas and The Ex-Mrs. Hedgefund.

* One thing Barrymore and her beau have in common is their love of film. Kopelman is a movie fiend who loves all Woody Allen, David Lynch, and Steve Spielberg movies. He's also dated another actress: Disturbia's Sarah Roemer.

So liking Allen, Lynch, and Spielberg makes you an official "movie fiend"?

* Barrymore has gone for bar owners and comedians, but this time she went for an arty guy: Kopelman is a successful consultant with high-profile clients from Robert Pattinson to Death Cab for Cutie's Ben Gibbard to Silicon Valley billionaires.

Sometimes I read about some of the guys these actresses go for and think, "Man, I think I could have had a chance!"

I think at some point every guy has had a little crush on Barrymore.

The Return of Gervais!
I don't know about you but I liked him. Then again, I'm not a Hollywood actor. Asked back to host the Golden Globes in the wake of last year's celebrity roast, Ricky Gervais agreed to return for his third go round under one condition: No censorship. "I do it my way. I get final edit on everything. And everything I do turns out like I wanted," Gervais told Matt Lauer in an interview on the Today Show. "And they don't know what I'm gonna say. And they won't know what I'm gonna say till I say it."

Don't expect him to tone it down on his own, though; after a mild first turn, turned on the insults with hits at Angelina Jolie, Johnny Depp, Charlie Sheen, Robert Downey Jr, John Travolta, and Tom Cruise, amongst others. "I got it a bit wrong I think the first time. I tried too hard with the shtick, the comedy, and I should have just gone out there and done zingers, I think, because the attention span of someone at an award show, particularly the Golden Globe, is about a second," he told Lauer. "They're drinkin', they're talkin', they're seein' someone. You know, you've gotta grab their attention. It's not a great place for a comedian to play because they've got other things on their mind. They're there to see if they've won an award, but they don't wanna see this guy come out and telling jokes. Certainly not jokes at their expense."

In a blog entry in November, Gervais promised some more carnage. "Now here's the thing. The outrage I caused was of course, as usual, totally out of proportion to the things I said. I don't think anyone had any right to be offended but they were," he wrote. "This year I'm going to make sure their offence is completely justified. The best thing about it is writing the gags. I love writing one liners. Particularly when they can't be used in any other context. It gives them a special weight on the night if you know what I mean."

Are you a fan of Gervais?

Instead of a pic of Ricky, how about something a little easier on the eyes?

What's the BUZZ?
Get that fist pumping! Moments after The Unit made his big debut on the new season of Jersey Shore, he was spotted in the streets of the L.A.! Not only that, he immediately took his first public shot at Snooki. Check out the video to see him quip, "The thing with me and Snooki ... she can't seem to take my name out of her mouth ... but that's Snooki for you, she's always got something in her mouth."

Classy. He also compares himself to Babe Ruth and says strippers pay him when he goes to the nudie bar.

video platformvideo managementvideo solutionsvideo player

Welcome back to the & 1 Model of the Week! Where we search this thing called the internet to find a lovely lady to appreciate in all her beauty.

The & 1 Model of the Week brings us...Eva Longoria! Since we talked about her at the start, let's close it out to her!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present…Eva Longoria!

Should we throw her into the VS. mix?

Stop back next week for another & 1 Model of the Week!

Before I say GOODBYE!
I would be remiss if I didn't mention some of the other OUTSTANDING articles on www.411mania.com. You would be doing yourself a disservice if you didn't peep around the site. I always get my daily habit of reading. Here's a small sample!

*****Top 5 2012 Combacks We'd Like to See by Trevor Snyder and Company Catch last weeks edition!
*****Ten Deep: The Top 10 Origin Stories by Mike Gorman
*****A Bloody Good Time by Joseph Lee.
*****Two Tivos to Paradise by Al Norton
*****Movie's Fact or Fiction by Ben Piper. This week Will Helm and T.J. Hawke debate!

Playboy has been kind enough to release me on the lovely Playmates. Here's some interviews to keep you entertained!

Miss January
Miss February
Miss March
Miss April
Miss July
Miss August
Miss September
Miss October
Miss November
Miss December
Miss January 2012

Finally, if you have some down time and are looking for a great place for great fun, check out Tiger Flash Games!

Do you have something to say? A celebrity story? Juicy gossip? Shoot me an email at stevethegoose@gmail.com. Thanks again, be safe out there, and just chill...till the next episode...

If you or someone you know is feeling isolated, don't hesitate to call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255.

All pictures courtesy of www.people.com, TMZ.com, www.cnn.com, and www.imdb.com.


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