The Gratuitous B-Movie Column 2.6.12 Issue #194: Rage of Honor (1987)

Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz on 02.06.2012

In this issue I take a look at the great 1987 action flick Rage of Honor starring the Sho Kosugi, plus another Big Question (Who is cooler: Reggie Bannister or Jack Burton?), two heapings of Things to Watch Out For This Week, a new B-Movie Babe is crowned, a new Douchebag is named, and more. Check it out.

The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Issue #194: Rage of Honor (1987)


Hello, everyone, and welcome once again to the internets movie review column that doesn't know any kind of fu, The Gratuitous B-Movie Column, and I am your host Bryan Kristopowitz. In this issue, issue number one hundred and ninety-four, I take a look at the classic kung fu action flick from 1987, Rage of Honor, directed by the great Gordon Hessler and starring 1980's kung fu movie legend Sho Kosugi.

Rage of Honor (1987)



Rage of Honor is one of those action movies that, despite making very little sense, somehow manages to kick ass anyway. They story is fairly simple but the details of that story are absolutely ridiculous and actually make you ask yourself, from time to time, "what the hell is going on?" I know I asked myself that very question at least three times while watching Kosugi beat the crap out of a seemingly endless supply of hapless henchmen. But because of Kosugi's sizeable charisma and the flick's many great action scenes I managed to like the movie way more than I probably should have.

Kosugi stars as Shiro Tanaka, a badass agent for the U.S. Drug Investigation Bureau (as opposed to the DEA, I guess). We see him, along with his partners Ray Jones (Richard Wiley) and Dick Coleman (Gerry Gibson), take down a drug smuggling/rich person boat on a river in Buenos Aires, Argentina. The boat apparently belonged to a psychopathic drug dealer named Havlock (Lewis Van Burgen), and when Havlock finds out what Tanaka and his buddies did he vows to kill them. The scene then shifts to Phoenix, Arizona, where Tanaka and Ray live (Coleman seems to spend most of his time in Bueonos Aires as we never see him leave there). Following a lead from the boat bust, Ray investigates a Phoenix warehouse that just so happens to be owned and operated by Havlock. While searching the building Jones is captured by Havlock's henchmen and tortured. Tanaka finds out about Ray's investigation and decides to cut short his date with his girlfriend Jennifer (Robin Evans) so he can help. Unfortunately for Ray, Tanaka arrives at the warehouse late and can't help him. Tanaka does get to kill a bunch of Havlock's henchmen, though, sometimes in spectacular fashion (he shoots two guys simultaneously while doing a somersault). But before he can get to Havlock, the evil bastard blows the warehouse up. Thinking Tanaka is dead, Havlock decides to travel back to Buenos Aires to complete his revenge mission to take out Coleman. However, since Tanaka is played by Sho Kosugi, Tanaka manages to survive the explosion and vows his own revenge. Havlock must die.

Tanaka's boss, the pain in the ass bureacrat named Mr. Sterling (played by Charles Lucia, known at the time as Chip Lucia for some reason), doesn't share Tanaka's bloodlust and demands that he take a vacation instead. Sterling and the D.I.B. don't need some loose cannon running around Argentina killing people and whatnot. He wants Tanaka to instead cool off and calm down. Without giving the vacation offer much thought Tanaka resigns from the Bureau and decides to go to Argentina on his own dime and track down Havlock by himself. He takes Jennifer with him, to make it look like he's going on vacation, although she knows what Tanaka is really up to (she's scared of the danger and whatnot but she couldn't say no. She loves Tanaka and, hey, he's paying for the trip). When they arrive in Buenos Aires Tanaka meets up with Coleman as Coleman has connections that Tanaka can use to track down Havlock. Coleman doesn't join up with Tanaka in his revenge quest, though, as he's working on an official D.I.B. case (it has something to do with a computer disk).

It doesn't take long for the shit to hit the fan as Tanaka, Coleman, and eventually Jennifer are all attacked by various nameless thugs. After destroying several of them, Tanaka asks Coleman to take Jennifer out of Argentina and back to Phoenix as the situation is way too dangerous (like he didn't know that from the beginning, right?). Coleman complies, and Tanaka goes on a one-man crusade to find Havlock.

And then the story gets even more complicated. Coleman and Jennifer get captured by Havlock's henchmen, we find out that Havlock works for some other guy, a rich guy in a suit (I don't remember his name but I think he's supposed to be the U.S. Ambassasdor to Argentina), Havlock has access to deadly fraternal twins that enjoy slicing apples in half with their swords, Tanaka goes to jail and gets attacked by those ninja twins, Sterling and the D.I.B. want Tanaka back in the fold, and Tanaka agrees to come back for the same reason he needed to resign and seek revenge ("Japanese honor"). The movie then spends its last third in the jungle, which is either somewhere in Brazil or in the Phillipines, with Tanaka fighting off hordes of Havlock henchmen (local native tribespeople, random people with guns, and a gaggle of ninjas that appear out of nowhere. And how cool is this? One of the ninjas has a goddamn flamethrower. How often do you see that?). I think there's a double-cross in there somewhere, too, but it doesn't really affect the way the story plays out.

At times it almost seems like everyone involved is just making the story up as they go along. I still have no idea why the computer disk is so important, nor do I understand why Coleman spends so much time in Buenos Aires when everyone else is in Phoenix. Is Coleman meant to be shady? I'm also confused with the Sterling character. Is he supposed to be an American, or is the D.I.B. actually an international organization of some sort? Sterling's accent shifts from a sort of American accent to a sort of British accent every so often and it's difficult to know if that's what's supposed to be happening. And why the hell is Argentina so important? Was Argentina a major drug hub back in the 1980's?

And then there's Tanaka's ninja weapons. Since when are federal agents allowed to use throwing knives and exploding ninja stars? The movie never explains this.



Kosugi is simply amazing as Tanaka. You don't understand what he's saying most of the time, but then he's supposed to be a man of few words. Shiro Tanaka is a man of action. And when I say action I mean goddamn action. He runs, he jumps, he kicks and punches, he snaps necks (there's a montage in the middle of the movie where we see the scene shift back and forth from some kind of native dance routine at the ambasador's residence to a warehouse Tanaka infiltrates. While in the warehouse, Tanaka snaps the neck of every hapless henchman he comes across. It's pretty messed up the way it switches back and forth), he uses various ninja weapons and, on occasion, he uses a gun. I loved every minute he was on screen. If you're an action movie nerd you'll probably dig his performance, too.

Lewis Van Bergen does a decent enough job as the evil Havlock. He's big, he seems to know karate, and he has a look about him that makes you think, without knowing anything about him, he must be evil. Robin Evans is pretty vapid as Tanaka's girlfriend Jennifer. They don't have much couples chemistry and she doesn't have much of a stage presence. I'm going to assume that she was chosen for the girlfriend role because she worked for free or she was related to one of the producers. She's the movie's only real liability.

Gerry Gibson does an okay job as Dick Coleman. He gets more to do than Richard Wiley, who doesn't last long as Ray Jones, the partner that Tanaka wants revenge for. And Charles "Chip" Lucia does a good job as D.I.B. leader Mr. Sterling. The accent thing is weird, but he gives off enough total prick energy to make you hate him as much as Tanaka does (damn bureaucratic jagoffs, always getting in the way of the hero).

Rage of Honor, despite its many flaws and bits of general weirdness, is top notch 1980's action entertainment. Sho Kosugi is simply awesome, Gordon Hessler somehow makes it all work, and, eventhough I had no idea what was going on most of the time, I had a ball watching Kosugi kick ass and take names. I really need to check out his other 1980's movies. I've seen both Revenge of the Ninja, a movie I definitely need to check out again, and the great Ninja III: The Domination, but nothing else. Where the hell have I been?

Oh, well. There's another goal for the year.

Rage of Honor is a definite must see if you haven't seen it already. It's a classic through and through. See it, see it, see it.




So what do we have here?


Dead bodies: Over 50.

Explosions: Many (it's over five).

Nudity?: None. Although we do get some nice bikini action at the beginning of the movie.

Doobage:A sudden drug raid, multiple bits of badass kung fu, gun in the crotch and then, maybe, up the butt, a speedboat chase, a very unconvincing .38, ninja star to the throat, exploding speedboat, a mass arrest, car phone hooey, a giant vat of boiling water, burlap sack filling, shotgun butt to the face, lighting a cigarette with a hot piece of metal, hot metal rod to a guy's skin (off screen), a great bit where Kosugi shoots two guys at the same time while doing a somersault, ninja star to the side of the neck, some major league ass kicking, a massive explosion, sand, some guy doing kung fu exercises, a bad vacation, attempted forced suicide by balcony, strangulation, fence jumping, serious face kicking, multiple neck snaps, more sack filling, bottle throwing, some kind of ninja hand weapon, a seemingly endless supply of henchmen, very thin nunchucks, ninja apple cutting, a badass pen knife, ninja blow dart hooey, a cyanide pill, a walkie talkie with a big ass anetenna, crossbow dart attack, native tribespeople attack, multiple ninja explosives, exploding ninja star, waterfall climbing, a rope slide, rope swinging, a jungle fight, double throat smashing, a spiky wooden jungle trap, water to the face, slow motion kung fu fight, attempted drowning, helicopter attack, a big pile of cocaine, rocket attack, ninjas with machine guns, ninja with a flamethrower, ninja star to the forehead, exploding lookout tower, a four-on-one fight, ninja claws, sword through the chest, doble ninja knives to the neck, multiple bits of machine gun hooey, a slow motion high fall, grenade explosion, a spectacular jump over a jeep, exploding jeep, table saw blade thrown like a ninja star, exploding truck, exploding building, ninja star to the chest, exploding ninja star with some kind of digital reader on it, serious chest slashing, a sword fight with sparks, door to the face, face punching, tire iron to the leg, sword through the door, and an abrupt ending.

Kim Richards?: None.

Gratuitous: Great cheesy 1980's music, a rich person boat party with many hot chicks in bikinis, Buenos Aires, Argentina, Sho Kosugi, multiple ninja weapon attacks, Phoenix, Arizona, a giant vat of boiling water, Sho Kosugi dressed in a tuxedo and fighting hordes of bad guys, Sho Kosugi possibly saying "bureaucratic bullshit," obvious dummies being thrown from high places, an indestructable old school floppy disk, neck snapping, native dancing, an endless supply of henchmen, apple cutting, Sho Kosugi using a compass, Sho Kosugi using a crossbow, Sho Kosugi climbing a waterfall, Sho Kosugi holding a rope bridge together single handedly, a slow motion kung fu fight, ninjas with machine guns, ninja with a flamethrower, a four-on-one attack, an insane warehouse fight, and a great ending sowrdfight.

Best lines:"Who the bloody hell's idea was this?," "Regulations?," "Check it out! Huh? Yeah!," "I like pain," "Jennifer! Ray is onto something! I've got to go!," "What the hell happened to you?," "You're looking for revenge? No, just honor," "It's not just a vacation, is it?,' "You know what to do," "What's the point? What can you do about something that's already been done?," "It's not a matter of a choice. It's my obligation," "It's just that he's so complicated," "You can't escape me. I'll get you, whereever you go," "Get me the twins," "Sayonara, Allen," "What? No, I want you to change the landing instructions. For security reasons," "Why? Why?," and "Nice to see you, Tanaka."

Rating: 8.5/10.0

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The Gratuitous B-Movie Column: The Facebook Page!






Please check out The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Facebook page, which can be seen here. It just started so there's not much there at the moment. But, as time goes by, expect to see daily questions and musings and other B-movie hooey. And it would be cool if you "liked" it, too.

The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Facebook page! Yeah!



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The Big Question: Who is cooler: Reggie Bannister or Jack Burton?


Every so often, while toiling away at my soul sucking crappy day job, my mind starts to wander and I think about stuff that, safe to say, "normal" people don't think about. This past week, on several occasions, I asked myself, "Who is cooler? Reggie Bannister or Jack Burton?" but couldn't come to a conclusion, at least at first. I really had to think about it because, really, between mega cool badass movie characters like Reggie and Jack, who is cooler?





With Reggie, you've got an ex-Nam vet turned hippie ice cream vendor turned badass guy driving around in a black HemiCuda, searching for a weird beard killer demon that calls himself the Tall Man. Reggie carries around a four barreled shotgun as protection and, on occasion, a guitar because, deep down, he's really a sensitive singer and musician that just wants to exist in peace and harmony with everyone else, especially any hot chicks that happen to give him the time of day (something that doesn't happen often so he has to take it when he can get it). He also apparently has the ability to act as a tuning fork or something (watch the first movie and Phantasm IV: Oblivion to see what I'm talking about if you don't know already). He's been through four individual adventures spanning almost twenty years, with one more possibly on the horizon (we can all hope so, right?).






As for Jack Burton, he's a loudmouth independent trucker who finds himself smack dab in the middle of some weird beard fight between Chinese sorcerers in Chinatown. He tries very hard to be the tough guy and help out his buddy Wang Chi but, more often than not, Jack just gets in the way. He does get to take down the main bad guy at the end of the movie with a well placed knife to the head ("It's all in the reflexes") but that was really more luck than anything else. Jack may or may not have intimacy issues (why did he spurn the advances of Gracie at the end of the movie? Was he just being considerate, knowing that whatever relationship he developed with Gracie would end badly, or was he just scared to get naked with her?), but he does carry a knife in his boot and drives a big ass truck named "The Pork Chop Express," so that stuff sort of makes up for the "sensitivity" question. Jack has only had one cinematic adventure, twenty six years ago, but that one adventure has managed to live on as one of the greatest cinematic adventures of all time.

So, really, who the heck is cooler? At the moment, I'm leaning towards Jack, mostly because he managed to shoehorn all of his coolness into one movie. However, Reggie has the shotgun, the car, and the ponytail. So what if he's had four chances to be cool? The movie nerd world would probably kill to have four or more Jack Burton adventures. How can I hold that against Reg? It's a tough call. For all I know, tomorrow I'll change my mind and say Reggie is cooler. Again, it's a tough call.

So what do you guys think? Who is cooler? Is Reggie Bannister cooler than Jack Burton, or is Jack Burton ("Who?) the man despite the fact that he does't get to wield a four barrel shotgun like Reggie?



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The Gratuitous B-Movie Column B-Movie Theme of the Week



Enjoy.








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Things to Watch Out For This Week: Part 1







- Father Dowling Mysteries: The First Season: I loved this show back when it aired in the early 1990's. Tom Bosley as a priest that solves murders and whatnot? How goddamn awesome is that? "Father Phil, could you take the 10 o'clock Mass? I've got a murder to solve." Ha.














- Last Man Standing: This Lifetime Original movie stars Catherine Bell and Anthony Michael Hall, which is cool and all, but the most interesting thing about it is it's directed by the great Ernest Dickerson, the man behind Bones (the horror flick starring Snoop Dogg, not the TV show), Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight, and the great Surviving the Game, among other awesome movies. Just what kind of Lifetime movie did he make? I'm very interested to find out.
















- Storm House: This low budget horror flick is all about the military capturing a "supernatural entity" and the aftermath of that obviously stupid fucking decision. When the hell will the miltary learn not to fuck around with monsters and ghosts and shit like that? It's just bad news, man.
















- Super Shark: This mega low budget monster movie is all about a gigantic killer shark. It stars the John Schneider, Jimmie Walker (yes, that Jimmie Walker) and was directed by the great Fred Olen Ray. It looks like a blast.














- Poolboy: Drowning of the Fury: This mega low budget movie is allegedly a "lost" movie from the 1990's. The movie was "too terrible" to release back then or something. It's got Kevin Sorbo and Danny Trejo in it, hamming it up as only they can. This looks awesome.








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Don Cornelius 1936-2011 RIP
















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And now, the weekly Fearnet update



Fearnet, the only free all horror/thriller On Demand TV network features uncut, uncensored horror flicks from the past and present 24 hours a day, seven days a week, pretty much any time you freaking want them (as long as you still have power, that is). The channel also has behind-the-scenes stuff, trailers, and other cool hooey for you to check out. Check your local cable listings for availability.

Fearnet also exists as a regular old TV channel. This Fearnet airs horror movies roughly twenty one hours a day (there is a block of infomercials in the morning, usually from 6-9am est). The movies shown do have "commercial breaks" in them, similar to the breaks that currently appear on IFC, but the movies are uncut (blood and boobs and cursing are all intact).

Fearnet's website, fearnet.com, offers free movies, interviews, news, and other behind-the-scenes horror movie nerd stuff, too. The weird beard Paperhouse was on the site last week. Is it still there? Check and see).




The website also features Post Mortem with Mick Garris, a nifty interview show where big, fat Stephen King's favorite director talks with genre legends like John Carpenter, Wes Craven, Roger Corman, William Friedkin, and others. It's definitely worth your time.

If you're a Facebook nerd (and, really, today, who isn't?) you can check out the Fearnet fans Facebook page, which can be seen here. There are plenty of people out there interested in Fearnet. Join them. And, as always, thanks to both Mark Lindsey and Mathew Hirsch for info regarding the Fearnet fan movement.







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The Gratuitous B-Movie Column B-Movie Babe of the Week: Taraji P. Henson








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Things to Watch Out For This Week: Part 2




- 1313: Cougar Cult: This low budget horror flick stars Scream Queens Brinke Stevens, Linea Quigley, and Michelle Bauer as three demonic babes that turn into cougar monsters or something. Does it really matter what the movie is about? It's got Brinke Stevens, Linea Quigley, and Michelle Bauer in it. That cast list alone is reason enough to check it out.









- Yakuza Weapon: I don't know much about this movie, but it looks like a riot. It comes to us from the fine folks at Sushi Typhoon, the new masters of low budget Asian genre cinema, so you know right there that it's worth a look.







- Machete Joe: This low budget slasher flick appears to be one of those deals where a bunch of people, out to make a low budget horror movie about a local urban myth, end up getting stalked and slashed by that local urban myth. That's how imdb describes the movie anyway. The trailer is pretty neat. The great Ernie Hudson is in it, too. Don't bs surprised if Machete Joe pops up in this very column come October.









- Dorm of the Dead: This mega low budget zombie flick features a zombie outbreak on a college campus and, according to everything I've read about it, "quirky" characters (one of them is apparently a "slacker"). I have no idea how different it is compared to that other Dorm of the Dead movie that came out in 2006, so just be aware of what you're buying.










- Miramax Explosive Action Series: This DVD compilation has the two classic Dolph Lundgren flicks Hidden Assassin and Men of War plus Bounty Hunters and Bounty Hunters 2: Hardball starring Michael Dudikoff. Close to eight hours of badass ass kicking, explosions, gunfights, and other assorted action movie whathaveyous. You know you want to buy it.





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The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Douchebag of the Week







This week, The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Douchebag of the Week goes to the Susan G. Komen Foundation, for claiming its decision to suspend grants to Planned Parenthood had nothing to do with pressure from ultra right wing Christian "pro-life" lunatics. Had the "Race for the Cure"/pink ribbon foundation simply come out and said that it was changing its policy so it could appeal to anti-abortion psychopaths with deep pockets there probably wouldn't have been as big of a public outcry against the decision. Lots of people would have complained, yes, and the decision still would have been absolutely despicable, but at least it would have been honest. Instead, Komen decided to alter its grant policy so it wouldn't have to give out money to organizations under investigation by authorities. The only organization under investigation just so happened to be Planned Parenthood. Coincidence?

Please. And the ensuing public relations campaign to try to make it look like the foundation wasn't doing exactly what it was actually doing bombed because, ha, it didn't take long to figure out that it was all bullshit.

Thankfully, Komen quickly changed its mind last Friday and restored its grants to Planned Parenthood, but the damage is probably already done. Can the world trust Komen not to kowtow to the religiously insane and then lie about it again? Who knows?






Up next is One Millions Moms.com, for launching an absolutely disgusting campaign against JC Penney for using Ellen Degeneres as its spokesperson. And what's so wrong with the much beloved Ellen? According to OMM, Ellen is an "open homosexual," and because Ellen is "openly homosexual" JC Penney is attacking "traditional families."

The only thing being attacked here is general human decency, but then, when dealing with the "openly homophobic," general human decency is considered weakness. They're out to stop the "homosexual agenda," whatever the fuck that is. There's nothing wrong or abnormal with Ellen or homosexuals, and it's about goddamn time that the religiously insane among us grow the fuck up and simply accept the fact that there are gay people out there and they are not out to destroy you, change you, or molest your children. They just want to live their lives. What the fuck is so wrong with that?

Absolutely disgraceful.




And finally there's former U.S. Senator and 2012 Republican Presidential hopeful Rick "Man On Dog Sex" Santorum, for completely outing himself as a soulless corporate shill and generally heartless prick while giving a health care speech in Colorado. You can go here for all of the sick details, but to make a long story short, "Man on Dog" believes it's far more important for drug companies to make mega profits off sick people than it is for sick people to get much needed drugs, and he's saddened that "people have been conditioned to look for help from the government" because people will spend $900 on an I-Pad but they won't spend $900 to buy drugs that will save their lives. First off, how much profit do these drug companies need (you know, how obscene does this profit need to be?), and second, you only have to buy an I-Pad once. If you need certain drugs to stay alive and those drugs cost $900 a month and you don't have $900 a month, you're pretty much fucked. So how is the I-Pad comparison a comparison?

It isn't. Man on Dog, Mr. Pro-Life, simply doesn't give a fuck about you. If you can't pay, well, sucks to be you. Obscene profits are more important. Research, don't you know.



That about says it all, doesn't it?


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NASCAR and Indycar thoughts



The big news in the world of NASCAR last week was the announcement that Danica Patrick, due to a partnership between her Sprint Cup car owner Stewart-Haas Racing and the lower tiered Tommy Baldwin Racing, would have a guarenteed starting spot in the season opening Daytona 500. As I understand it, Danica, while still a part of Stewart-Haas, will technically drive for TBR, "taking over" the #36 car driven by Dave Blaney in 2011, a car that has a guarenteed starting spot in the 500 because it finished 33rd in 2011 points. The #36 will turn into the #10, Danica's designated Sprint Cup car number, and will have full sponsorship from Go Daddy.com. So that settles that. I was wondering how NASCAR was going to get her into the race (and, believe me, that's who is behind this deal).

Now, what does this mean for the 26 Sprint Cup races that Danica won't be in? Who will drive the #10 when she's concentrating on her Nationwide Series team? According to TBR's website, David Reutimann will be driving the #10 during those other races. However, will Go Daddy sponsor Reutimann, too? I haven't read anything about that.

The Daytona 500 is only three weeks away (it happens the same day as the Oscars. Man, that's going to be a busy day). The Budweiser Shootout is the week before that. Am I excited? Yeah, a little bit.



Over in Indycar, Bobby Rahal's new team (Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing) announced that Takuma Sato will be its driver for 2012. Sato, or "fucking Sato" as he's known to some, drove for KV Racing in 2011 with, at best, mixed results. It'll be interesting to see how well Sato gels with his new team and who KV picks for its third seat. Tony Kanaan is coming back, as is E.J. Viso. Will former F-1 star Rubens Barichello actually become a full time member of the team, or will someone else be named for the third car? It'll be interesting to see what happens there. Will Barichello actually make the full time transition to Indycar? Will he actually race on ovals? I still don't think he will, especially since he said last week that wasn't his goal, but now, who the heck knows? I guess anything could happen.

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Well, I think that'll be about it for this issue. B-movies rule, always remember that.

If there's anything you want to see reviewed here in this column, feel free to offer a comment below or send me an e-mail. I'm always on the lookout for new stuff to watch.

And don't forget to bookmark 411 via the little line below. You'll be glad you did.

Rage of Honor

Sho Kosugi- Shiro Tanaka
Lewis Van Bergen- Havlock
Robin Evans- Jennifer Lane
Gerry Gibson- Dick Coleman
Charles "Chip" Lucia- Mr. Sterling
Richard Wiley- Ray Jones

Directed by Gordon Hessler
Screenplay by Robert Short and Wallace Bennett, based in a story by Robert Short

Distributed by Trans World Entertainment and MGM Home Video

Rated R for violence and language
Runtime- 98 minutes

Buy it here