Movies/TV's 3R’s 09.18.12: Robocop, Justice League, Seth MacFarlane, Amanda Bynes, More
Posted by Porfirio Diaz on 09.18.2012
From the first look at the Robocop reboot and rumored Justice League news to no Director’s Cut for the Dark Knight Rises, and more, 411's Porfirio Diaz breaks down the Right, wRong, and Ridiculous from the week in Movies/TV!
Welcome to Week 168 of The 3 R's for the Movie/TV world.
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SNL welcomes us back with a mostly solid Seth MacFarlane-hosted episode: The general feeling I get from the readers on 411mania about Saturday Night Live falls in one of three bins:
1) SNL hasn't been good since 19XX
2) Wait the show is still on?
3) Bill Hader is a national treasure
I'll say there's a 60-40 split between #1 and #2. (No one is saying #3, although they should.) Now include American Dad creator Seth MacFarlane as host – sure his famous creation is Family Guy but other than a few good episodes here and there, his work has been very lazy. Then there's The Cleveland Show. I'll just rightfully ignore that – and oh boy did the reactions turned mildly agitated. I don't have a great problem with Seth. The woefully underrated American Dad series has been a television pleasure but most of the time there is no defending what a mess his other shows have turned into. There's the good Seth and there's the bad Seth, and unfortunately, we've been getting more bad Seth than good Seth.
So what did audiences tuning into SNL get? Did they get Family Guy Seth MacFarlane, the one people can't seem to stand nowadays, or did they get the other Seth MacFarlane? You know, the fun one – the one who knows how to please a live audience with his comical quips and smooth voice.
Well he sang a whimsical tune about his voices…
…acted out in a hilarious puppet workshop bit with Bill Hader (again, national treasure)…
…and impersonated (read: viciously mocked) American sensation Ryan Lochte. ("It feels so weird to be dry.")
Not every sketch was a home run and the show is never going to reach the peak it once had (as shown in 50 of the greatest SNL GIF-able moments here) but MacFarlane brought the goods to an otherwise solid 38th SNL premiere, an impressive feat (wait for it) considered how SNL (wait for it) hasn't been unterrible since 1997 (boom).
Looks like there won't be a director's cut of The Dark Knight Rises after all: There were rumors of a director's cut version of The Dark Knight Rises that would have included an extra 30 minutes of footage into a movie that's nearly three hours long already. I harped before about how exhilarating it was watching the movie for the first time but it was only for that time. Having seen the film a second time in IMAX, the experience was nowhere near as fun as, say, viewing The Avengers for the second time. Part of it has to do with the length. As epic as The Dark Knight Rises was, it's just not made for multiple viewings. Now the studio wanted to include all the unused cuts back in? Not as part as DVD extras, mind you, but actually cut it back into the movie.
Well The Playlist, deflating anyone who was excited for the complete version, has reported the rumors as false. This shouldn't come to a surprise – Nolan has a habit of never bothering himself with unused footage or making director's cuts. Giving his track record, a doubt even one deleted scene exists in a Nolan DVD collection.
I don't blame those who wanted their plot holes filled and a glimpse of Bane's backstory. I just think cut footage is cut for a reason. As deleted scenes in a Blu-ray copy, of course. As a near four hour viewing experience, ehhhh.
Additional note: This one video with Bane as a telemarketer? Yes. I'll watch more of that. Makes you feel sorry for the guy. Sure, he brutally took over an entire city but forgive and forget, right? (I can't figure out how to embed Funny or Die videos because I dumb. Looks like you're going to have to settle for a link to it for now.)
Pee-wee Herman voices the latest Lincoln trailer: Once upon a time Pee-Wee Herman provided all the voices for one of the Dark Knight Rises trailers. It was 29 seconds long and it was magnificent. Would it be asking too much for a full-length version of that movie?
Anyway, Jimmy Fallon and Pee-Wee team up once again to bring you the latest in voiceover trailer entertainment, this time with the newest Lincoln trailer. The only fault is that it's criminally short at 19 seconds in length but fantastic nevertheless. I demand moar plz.
I suppose I should include the actual Lincoln trailer below, the one movie without the vampires. Sounds like Spielberg used the Jurassic Park soundtrack for this one.
Lookin' good Lincoln. I think ya'll would be inclined to give it a shot. *ynuk ynuk*
Very quick hits: Images and GIFs I really like but can't put them into context: This set photo of Al Pacino and Christopher Walker from Stand-Up Guys (or in this case the greatest photo ever to save in your computer for Photoshop purposes):
(Not seen: matching yellow shoes.) Oh that Prince. Never change.
Warner Bros. having a separate Batman for the Justice League film and Batman Reboot might be the worst idea ever: This story is only a rumor and it should be passed along as such. That said, WTF is this s*#% Warner Bros?
Question: Could a JUSTICE LEAGUE movie be set within it's own continuity and universe without any tie-ins to future DC Comics-based solo films?
Rumor has it that Warner Bros. has at least considered the possibility, according to a longtime film industry insider "FOBOF."
Remember, that JUSTICE LEAGUE: MORTAL film that was shut down (right before filming was to begin) was going to be outside of the continuities of both BATMAN BEGINS and SUPERMAN RETURNS and feature a Batman and Superman NOT played by Christian Bale and Brandon Routh respectively. Might Warner Bros. be thinking of going that route with this new, Will Beall-scripted project? - Batman on Film
Listen up guys. I think now's the time we had a serious talk.
Warner Bros. has no idea what they're doing with not only the Justice League movie but the DC movie franchise as a whole. Maybe we should cut our losses and move on with our lives. I know they want to be like Marvel but I'm not sure having two separate universes going on around the same time is the way to go. It sounds confusing and awful. There might be a Justice League but it will have no tie-in with the rest of the other superhero films. This means Justice League Superman will not be the same as Man of Steel Superman. Ditto Batman and his eventual reboot. The reason we love Marvel and The Avengers is the whole continuity aspect. While a daunting task, every film Marvel has done since Iron Man has existed within the same universe. They had a plan and we got to watch it flourish over the years. During that time, the executives at Warner Bros. were too busy throwing rocks in the ocean. They've seen the enormously successful results and are now shambling to put their own creation together. The results are leading to rumors such as the one above. Not good.
I'm not the only one who thinks this idea sucks. Just read the comments from this unpleased bunch:
Warner Brothers really has no idea what the fuck they are doing and see the success Marvel is having and thinking hey we can do that shit too but without all the other movies to tie it all together lets just clusterfuck the DC universe and everyone will watch like the sheep they are. - Posted By: Guest#5844 (Guest)
Worst idea ever!!!
WB has NO IDEA what to do with their DC license. - Posted By: Guest#2858 (Guest)
The Avengers would not have been as big as it was without the five movies before it leading into it. This idea is simply nonsense. Who put these people in charge and why do they hate money so much? - Posted By: sanderz1 (Guest)
Part of me thinks this is for the best because, let's face it, any Justice League movie is gonna be a mess anyways. There's no reason to have it drag down other franchises.
Another part of me thinks this is really stupid because it completely ignores the main factor that made Avengers so great and built up so much interest in it - the shared universe. One movie build onto another, characters were already established and people wanted to see those characters interact. - Posted By: BlackoutCreature (Guest)
how do ppl who make up these retarded ideas even get these jobs? - Posted By: wylun (Guest)
Seperate continuities = EPIC FAIL! So glad Warner Brothers doesn't even plan to copy the successful model of Disney & the Avengers and the lead in movies.
If they handle it this way I'll just go see Iron Man III, Thor 2, and Avengers 2 that many MORE times with the money I won't have to spend on the DC video turds. - Posted By: Keebler (Guest)
Looks like Warner Bros. is trying to do the exact opposite of what Marvel did. Whether or not they honestly think that's the best way to do it, or they're just trying to look like they're not blatantly following in Marvel's footsteps, is anyone's guess. I, personally, think it's an awful idea. But, we'll see how it goes. - Posted By: NoLifeKing66 (Guest)
That's it. Let it all out. Accept the inevitable and feel free again. Maybe the upcoming Justice League of Animals cartoon will cure what ails you. Heh heh AquaMandrill.
This is the new Robocop you've been waiting for: New set photos have showed up and revealed Robocop's new fashion suit. And…
He's looks half cyber ninja from Mortal Kombat, half Batman suit from The Dark Knight films, and half Mass Effect outfit. He's the ManBearPig of Hollywood: MortalBatEffect3Cop. Maybe with a splash of Iron Man's armor in there as well, if Iron Man was a fan of punk music. All mashed together to form the most generic looking suit possible. Did I mention it looks unholy?
But no worries, CGI will color the suit right up. CGI fixes everything. Yay remake!
Nicki Minaj and Keith Urban officially join American Idol; Nicki Minaj already fighting with co-judge Mariah Carey: I never understood Nicki Minaj. I'm not saying she's a bad person but if I have to listen to that Adidas commercials one more time I'm going to start dismembering furniture. On the note, I don't have a problem with Keith Urban but only because I don't know much about Keith Urban other than his virtuoso is country music and that he's married to Nicole Kidman. In fact I may have just posted his entire career in one short description. You NEW American Idol judges, folks!
So the judges for the show's 12th (?!!) season will feature Mariah Carey, Randy Jackson, Minaj, and Urban. And the crowd goes dismissingly mild.
As expected for the past week, Fox made the formal announcement this morning as all four judges get set to appear at American Idol auditions in New York today. Minaj's contract is rumored to be in the $10 million to $12 million range. Urban, who quit his gig as a judge on the Australian version of The Voice late last week, is rumored to be earning about $3 million to $5 million next season. "With an unparalleled star like Mariah, fan-favorite Randy, chart-toppers like Nicki and Keith and our incomparable host Ryan, we've put together one of the most exciting judging panels around," said Mike Darnell, Fox's President of Alternative Entertainment today. "With the exciting addition of Mariah Carey, Keith Urban and Nicki Minaj, alongside Randy Jackson, American Idol's star power has never been so great," added Idol creator/executive producer Simon Fuller. - Deadline
Weeee. *armpit fart*
I don't think I have ever been so blinded by that much star power. Oh wait, that's just Minaj's kaleidoscope outfit. The woman is a walking Pokemon seizure episode. Oh well. I'm sure she'll make all kinds of positive contributions once she gets behind the judge's table. It's not like her wacky personality is bound to rub someone else the wrong way or anything.
Carey and Nicki Minaj went at it during the first "A.I." taping Sunday in NYC. When Nicki started critiquing a contestant, Mariah would interrupt -- not once, but many times. Each time Mariah interrupted, Nicki fought back by loudly talking over Mariah.
One "A.I." spy said Mariah and Nicki tried to cover their disdain for each other but everyone saw through it, adding, "These girls just don't like each other." - TMZ
No, not like this! Won't someone please think of the children?
I look forward to the dozens of American Idol commercials promoting the bickering between the two judges while the competition – the part with the singing – takes a backseat.
SNL to let people select who they want as host and musical guest: SNL is treading on dangerous waters. They want fans to recommend who they want as a future host and musical guest via Facebook and Twitter, where the most popular choices will be passed on to produces. What can possibly go wrong?
Hey everybody! We've been noticing a lot of our followers on Facebook and Twitter have been suggesting performers they think would make great hosts and musical guests for our show. And some of the suggestions have been so amazing that we here in the web world want to keep better track of what you're saying so that we can pass it along to our producers. So once a month we'll chose a day and open the floor to your suggestions on Facebook and Twitter. If you're on Facebook, you can simply leave a comment on our "Suggestion" post and if you're on Twitter, tweet us your suggestion on the designated day with the hash tag #SNLHost or #SNLMusic. And please, stick to the designated days. It will make your suggestions so much easier to track and keep our feeds open on "non-suggestion" days to other interactions with all you wonderful people. Thanks! Can't wait to hear from you all! - SNL Backstage Blog
Need I remind you this is the same Internet that once hijacked a promotion so they could send Taylor Swift to a deaf school and the same one that wanted "Gushing Granny" as Mountain Dew's new flavor? 411 music resident Tony Acero was catatonic for a week.
And when I mean Internet, I'm referring to 4chan and Reddit. Those rascals. I can't wait for them to them to vote for #Hitler, #60sSpiderMan, #ThatRacistGuyInTheElmoCostume (clarification: this guy), and #OneDirection every single week.
James Cameron wants fourth Avatar movie to be a prequel, is the only one who wants fourth Avatar movie: James Cameron wants to be the richest director in the history of our multi-universe so he could have three gold mansion placed in each of the seven wonders of the world. I can't think of another reason why he wants to produce three more Avatar movies. Meanwhile the James Cameron in Earth-326 has already created Battle Angel Alita and earned about the same amount money as one Avatar film. That's the Earth where Stephen Colbert is President of the United States and where hats eat terrible people. But for us, we get Avatar 4: The Prequel.
I have an idea for a fourth. I haven't really put pen to paper on it, but basically it goes back to the early expeditions of Pandora, and kind of what went wrong with the humans and the Na'vi and what that was like to be an explorer and living in that world. Because when we drop in, even in the first film in ‘Avatar 1,' as it will be known in the future, we're dropping into a process that's 35 years in to a whole colonization. That will complete an arc and if that leads into more, we'll start, not imitating ‘Star Wars,' but it's a logical thing to do because we'll have completed the thematic arc by the end of three. The only thing left to do is go back to see what it was like on those first expeditions and create some new characters that then become legacy characters in later films. It's a plan. - The Film Stage
Sure OK whatever. He wants the fourth to be a prequel. I can't see how this won't result in Cameron making an Avatar trilogy based after the prequel. A trilogy of prequels. You can hear it in his voice. Then *gasp* the re-releases.
Oh well. Not like people wanted that Battle Angel Alita film anyway.
Amanda Bynes: Road Menace: Hard to believe to once adorable little girl from Nickelodeon's All That and That Amanda Show has grown up to become a highway terror (two hit-and-runs and on DUI in the past few months) pot smoker (maybe) with mental issues (MAYBE) who chats with inanimate objects and hangs out at airports for no apparent reason. To top it off, she recently got caught for driving with a suspended license. Figuring they just had about enough of her vehicle endangerment, the cops finally did the public a favor and impounded her vehicle. What a mess she's become.
Lindsay Lohan, someone who similarly walked the path to child stardom before life eventually wagged its Mutombo finger, has gotten jealous of all the attention Bynes has been getting, or more specifically, gotten jealous of the slap-on-the-wrist punishments Lindsay herself couldn't be given. Then super-pissed-to-the-off Amanda countered back with a shot of her own. It's like a viral cat fight up in this biyatch.
So Bynes is off the road, for now, and who knows before she threatens to become a road hazard again. Now would be the appropriate time to tell you that I made an important list: The Top 10 Dangers You'll Want to Evade While on the Road (ranked from not too troubling to overly hazardous). You may want to print it out and attach it to your windshield, just in case.
1. People with "Baby on Board" and/or "Calvin Pee-on Decal" stickers on vehicle
2. People who forget to take gas nozzle out of vehicle
3. Those who participate in car surfing (These are not functioning members of society)
4. Teenagers who Tout and drive at the same time. (Friends don't let friends Tout and drive)
5. Drivers who text or play Angry Birds while driving with their feet (Knees are OK)
6. Lindsay Lohan in a car, whether she is behind the wheel or not. You see Lindsay in any car, you run the other way
7. Homer Simpsons driving backwards
8. Zombie Lindsay Lohan in a car (Zombies are known to be terrible drivers and passengers as it is)
9. Whenever and wherever Amanda Bynes is on the road, anywhere.
10. Automobile-hungry dinosaurs.
Follow these rules and you too can enjoy a safe and pleasure trip to the stamp collection store, porn galleria, or wherever it is you guys go during a Tuesday afternoon.
A&E is letting Michael Bay to produce a cop show about the Occult: Read everyone, read this right now!
The cable network has ordered his Platinum Dunes-produced cop drama to pilot. The tentatively titled Occult will center on an FBI agent who has returned from administrative leave after going off the deep end while investigating his wife's disappearance. Eager to be back on the job, he is paired with an agent with her own complicated backstory who specializes in the occult. Together, they will solve cases for the newly formed occult crimes task force. - THR
This. Sounds. Amazing. I figured Michael Bay with any sort of television project on his hands was bound to be a disaster but after reading that, forget it. Give him a $1,000,000 budget and watch him go to task with this thing.
It will end up exactly like this, but in real life:
Keeping Up With The Kardashians thinks it's A-OK to show Kourtney Kardashian's birth on live television: The birth of a baby is a beautiful occurrence that should be shared with the loving father and the rest of the family. Not for cameras. Not for an attention seeking family with a reality show. Not when Kourtney Kardashian is pulling the baby with her own two hands.
You'll be better off watching this Twilight GIF 637 times. Look at all that ridiculousness.
Kristen must have the CGI tiger confused with the director of End of Watch.
Gratuitous Adorable Animal Video of the Week
This week's video comes courtesy of poop face monster Ben Piper, called so not because he beat me in the first week of our 411 fantasy football staff league but… well OK it was exactly because he beat me in the first week of our 411 fantasy football staff league. That'll show me for starting the awful trio of Greg Little, Evan Royster, and Darrius Heyward-Bey. ARGH they were awful.
This tiger cub looks ridiculously delightful. You just want to grab those paws and do whatever it is owners with baby tigers do with them. But as you can see, the little pet Chihuahua comes in and immediately tries to bully Hobbes off from the couch and from the top of the food chain. That's some good hustle, dog. It's too bad you're going to be tiger food in a few years since they have excellent memories and are prone to seek Liam Neeson-esque revenge according to exclusive studies that are in no way made up.
Great weekend for Frisco fans(although I had the displeasure of going to the game the Giants lost this weekend) but man, that Akers gif is fucking gold!!! The bar was going nuts for that replay shot of his expression almost as much as the kick itself!! - Posted By: Guest#6207 (Guest)
Yikes. I can't imagine being at the game and watching the horrible horrible conclusion without stumbling blindly afterward.
But that's enough about the past. The Niners are 2-0 and, unlike Alex Smith's face after the game (which BTW, manly!), lookin' mighty fine, especially after going against two of the most high-powered offenses in the league.
Jim Harbaugh (the lesser of the two Harbaugh brothers) very obviously has rabies. Go Ravens. - Posted By: JeremyWilson (Registered)
Oh them's fighting words.
Relevance: KSK's excellent satire on the two Harbaugh brothers. Just to let you know, Jim wins that battle easily. Eaaaasily.
Andre Cage? *shudder* - Posted By: The Great Capt. Smooth (Guest)
Better than Macho Man Cagey Savage. (Or is it?)
You know I was getting ready to enjoy this column and I was reading my way through and you had me hooked and you were doing your job very well.
Positive vibes! Nothing bad can possibly come out of the remaining half of this comment.
Then you offered Nic Cage as Dr. Strange and I completely gave up on this column. In fact I jumped straight to the comment section and didnt even skim anything else. I dont care if I'm being a dick because youre a complete douchebag for offering Nic Cage to poison the Marvel Universe they got going on right now. I mean are you freaking kidding me man? For cryin out loud its almost 2013 no one gives a shit about Nic Cage. - Posted By: Guest#4441 (Guest)
Everyone knows I was kidding about Nicolas Cage as Dr. Strange, right? I included the part about how Cage should be everyone other character in the Marvel universe along with that linked poster of him as all of the The Avengers. Maybe it was my fault I didn't paste the poster in the column?
Oh whatever, how can you not like his face at that character?
Yes, because casting a non-actor as Wonder Woman will surely help it. Moron. As for what that guy said to Lovato-DAYUM, he smoked that talentless cooze. - Posted By: Guest#3435 (Guest)
Yup, he sure did.
Nic Cage is a no talent hack. Marvel is smart enough to see he flopped in Sorcerers Apprentice and ruined Ghost Rider. He has less talent than Kim K. - Posted By: null2099 (Guest)
Whoa, whoa, hey, whoa! Let's not say things we can't take back. Just look at the image above. Isn't that wonderful?
Twilight bad lip reading for the win!!! - Posted By: Tha Kid (Guest)
For the record, I bought one of their songs called "Gang Fight!" (the Bad Lip Reading version of Friday). Never regretted the purchase since.
Awesome props to Bale for what he did for that kid and his family.
I'm reminded of Ron Perlman recently going through all the Hellboy makeup and visiting a kid.
Very cool indeed. - Posted By: aprince66 (Guest)
I forgot about the Ron Perlman story. That was awesome as well.
If they feel they have to do it, Christmas Story 2 should be Ralphie all grown up and the story of his son wanting some sort of toy. - Posted By: The BFF (Guest)
Then Santa Claus comes in and buries both in an avalanche of toys. There are no survivors. The end.
Last word: Now that further info is out, who's getting the Wii U? Me? I'm going to pass. I'm not feeling Nintendo's new baby this time around. Much too happy with my XBox 360 and DS for the time being.