Movies/TV's 3R’s 10.23.12: Justice League, Golden Globes, Stephen Colbert, Ashton Kutcher, More
Posted by Porfirio Diaz on 10.23.2012
From the Justice League movie set for 2015 and Amy Poehler and Tina Fey co-hosting the Golden Globes to Stephen Colbert's cameo in The Hobbit, Wally Pfister calling The Avengers “appalling,” and more, 411's Porfirio Diaz breaks down the Right, wRong, and Ridiculous from the week in Movies/TV!
Welcome to Week 173 of The 3 R's for the Movie/TV world.
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One question: What's English for "AOIhdf ewr209ew jfsd39 jbaaaaah."
Justice League will officially clash with Avenger 2 in 2015 thanks to Warner's Superman court case victory: 2015. 2015. It was the year Warner Bros. kept pointing at in regards to the release of the anticipated and possibly imaginary Justice League movie. But a funny little thing happened last Tuesday that marked a huge win for Team Warner – the studio won its Superman legal case against the estates of Shuster and Siegel. The court's decision will grant Warner Bros the use of many of Superman's key elements for future films after 2013. This basically means Superman can be included in the Justice League movie (as well as for paving the way for Man of Steel to hit its June 14, 2013 release date). This means there's an actual shot of there being a Justice League movie! This means the film will go toe-to-toe blow-for-blow against the sequel to The Avengers. This means 2015 will look to be the biggest summer blockbuster event of all time.
Well it's not so much funny as it is how much we avoided a crisis. A Justice League movie without Superman? Barf.
This is great. The Justice League movie is finally going to come to life! We just have to ignore the part where Warner Bros. has no director attached, no actors (although there is no official word on it, I can't imagine Henry Cavill not being involved), and probably no idea what they're doing. For all we know the script could be a JLA comic book they got from a yard sale crumbled inside the $1 box. And didn't we hear all this before? About how the studio had a script prepared and was going to make the darn thing *pause* a zillion five years ago?! But other than that, this is great news.
No, seriously, I think this is the sign of a Justice League movie in 2015. Then we will all watch it and buy Superman underwear at Walmart afterwards.
Amy Poehler and Tina Fey to co-host 2013 Golden Globes: The Golden Globes telecast is set for January 13th, with a very significant incentive to get you to tune in: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler! No, they won't be in bikinis playing beach volleyball against the Brazilian Olympic team, but they are set to host the Golden Globes! That was my second scenario.
"The unparalleled comedic timing of Tina and Amy will surely have viewers wanting to tune-in to see them in action," said Takla-O'Reilly, president of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, which honors film and TV at the Beverly Hills Hilton ceremony. "The HFPA is thrilled to have the magnetic duo be a part of the show's 70th anniversary!"
The funny lady duo previously starred together in the films "Mean Girls" and "Baby Mama" and on "Saturday Night Live." They co-hosted the NBC sketch comedy series' "Weekend Update" segment from 2004 to 2006. - Huffington Post
Mean Girls > Baby Mama > Bridesmaid. Just sayin'.
Go ahead and label this under #swank news since Poehler and Fey will make the Golden Globes better. They make everything better. In other news, dreams are real! Just add a few more exclamation points and unreadable jargon to the previous sentences and you have my opinion on the matter.
Is it too much to ask if they just give out all the awards before the ceremony and have the duo be funny on stage for the entire show?
Stephen Colbert set to make cameo appearance in The Hobbit and live every fanboy's dream: Stephen Colbert is known to be a big fan of the Lord of the Rings series, and thus is set to make a cameo in Peter Jackson's Hobbit series. Just one more thing that Colbert gets to have that I don't – a Hobbit credit. Where is my call to be an extra in a blockbuster movie? Is every celebrity that's a fan of something going to be involved in that something now? Billy Crystal is a huge fan of the Yankees. So he got signed on to play for them – it was for one spring training game and he made just one plate appearance (he struck out) but still. The closest I've ever gotten to play for a baseball team was when I threw out the first pitch for the Sacramento River Cats, the A's minor league baseball team. Where is my one game contract? Additionally I did have the chance to be an extra in Adam Sandler's 2005 remake of The Longest Yard but the location was a 6-hour drive away, and as luck would not have it, the ordeal landed on the same day UCD's Fall semester started. I chose being in class on the first day over being a nameless face in a major motion picture. LOOK WHERE I AM NOW!
The host of Comedy Central's The Colbert Report is a huge J.R.R. Tolkien and Lord of the Rings fan who reads Elvish. No word on which role he'll play in the franchise or whether it will be a key character or just part of the background.
Colbert teases an appearance in the films in the November issue of Playboy, acknowledging his visit to the New Zealand shoot.
"Peter Jackson invited me to the set last year," he said. "I flew out and watched them shoot some scenes and went to some locations. I saw a 25-minute cut, and it was amazing. Jackson knows I'm a big fan of the films."
When asked if he was hired as an extra, Colbert smiled; and in response to the question, "Are you telling us you're in the Hobbit movie?" he responded, with another smile, "Could be." - THR
ANYWAY… *ahem* Anyway, good for Colbert. We won't know if his cameo will be quick shot in a single crowd scene or if he'll actually have speaking lines. My hope is for a 10 second shot of him riding a bear with a basket of puppies dressed in costumes in one hand and a bald eagle holding the American flag with his beak in the other while ripping on John Stewart in Elvish-speak. But a Hobbit credit is a Hobbit credit.
Hey, remember when several members of ‘N Sync were filmed as extras and scheduled to be in Attack of the Clones before people got wind of it and called for George Lucas' head? That was fun.
Fox renews Bob's Burgers for a fourth season: The show is three episodes into its third season but you can officially expect more as Fox has ordered a fourth season of Bob's Burgers, network TV's most underrated animated series. 22 more episodes! More of H. John Benjamin's voice can only lead to good things. The only thing that would make this news better is if they were making an Archer-Bob's Burgers crossover episode oh wait they are! All remains good.
Christopher Nolan's favorite cinematographer Wally Pfister calls The Avengers an appalling film: When it comes to cinematography, there is no better person Christopher Nolan would have by his side than Wally Pfister. His work as Nolan's cinematographer includes such films as Inception, The Prestige, Memento, and all three Nolan Batman films. The man knows movie art and movie art he did. Yet people were quite taken aback by his comments on the The Avengers, citing issues with the camerawork and calling it "an appalling film." (Since then, the original story on the Sarasota Herald Tribune has been modified to take out his comments about the film. The area I bolded below represents the part that was cut.) This isn't some troll looking to get hate rage replies; this is Nolan's right hand man who worked on some of the most impressive films of our generation. So it's not like we should easily dismiss what he has to say in regards to the most fan-friendly film of 2012. Besides, any reasonable fan would be able to construct his criticism and take it all in stride.
I am not one of them.
Q: What's most important in shooting a film?
A: What's really important is storytelling. None of it matters if it doesn't support the story. I thought "The Avengers" was an appalling film. They'd shoot from some odd angle and I'd think, why is the camera there? Oh, I see, because they spent half a million on the set and they have to show it off. It took me completely out of the movie. I was driven bonkers by that illogical form of storytelling. - Collider
Yeah well… your face is bonkers storytelling, bro. You wanna play a round of Pfisticuffs? Come at me!
NBC cancels Animal Practice (Yay) only to be replaced by Whitney (Boo): The first half of this story is the good part: Justin Kirk's Animal Practice has been given the axe by NBC. Lest you feel bad for him, Kirk can always go back to his cushy gig on Weeds. *looks up Weeds, realizes the last show was in September* Oh. Well… he'll find work somehow. He's too charming not to. Hollywood loves that sort of thing.
But then NBC had to ruin all the goodwill thanks to their decision to replace Animal Practice with Whitney. Arugh. The Kirk-led sitcom will continue to run until Nov. 14, when Whitney is scheduled to take back its old time slot as opposed to the initially announced Friday evening spot.
Not all is lost. For one Annie's Boobs – the same monkey actor who appeared on The Hangover Part II – can go back to guest starring on Community. Speaking on which, the critically acclaimed show no longer gets to partner up with Whitney on Friday nights. The bad news is NBC has still not announced a return date. Either Community will stay in its regular Friday timeslot or move over to replace 30 Rock on Thursdays once it airs its final 10 episodes. I would prefer the shift back to Thursdays, but really, all that matters is that Community returns on the air and somehow Whitney does not. Can't NBC just show Annie's Boobs for an extra hour?
The NHL lockout stinks on ice: I'm not going to come out as the world's biggest hockey fan. I sometimes dabble into the regular season, when there's nothing else on. The real enjoyment is in the NHL playoffs. They can be as exciting as any other postseason in sports, if not more. And even though the season ends badly for my San Jose Sharks (like, all the time now), I still tune into the other playoff series, if I could find them on TV. I wish for one day to attend a San Jose Sharks game (or any game for that matter) and just chill out to the sights and sounds of genuine hockey.
Sadly there doesn't seem to be any progress to start the regular season anytime soon. It's like we, the fans, don't even matter anymore. This is how many of us felt during the NFL and NBA lockouts, and by extension, the debacle with the replacement referees. The worst part is everyone knows we'll come back no matter what – the owners, the agents, the commissioner, the players, everyone. Even fans who shout out the ol' "I'm done with [sport]" line know they too will be coming back. That's just how it is. To say we're done means having to away from our favorite pastime and deal with the reality that sports help us escape from. Now we might not have any hockey this year but Gary Bettman and the owners doesn't care what we think.
And that, truly, stinks on ice.
The Family Circus movie is going to be made with baby tears: We have a rule here where we have to italicize movie titles so they can be easily distinguished from their common English word counterparts. The fact that I have to take an extra two seconds to italicize Family Circus in HTML is already a great injustice.
Fox and Walden Media are running away with "Family Circus," hiring the writing team of Nichole Millard and Kathryn Price to adapt the comicstrip as a live action project.
"Family Circus" has been in development since 2010, when Fox and Walden picked up the feature rights and set up the project with Jon Baldecchi and Stacy Maes.
Bil Keane debuted the comicstrip in 1960 that was based on his own family. In recent years, the strip has been drawn by Bill's son Jeff Keane.
The daily strip, syndicated to 1,500 newspapers, consists of a single captioned panel with a round border. The "Family Circus" books have sold over 13 million copies, and more than 60 collections of the cartoons have been published. - Variety
If ever the time we are allowed to throw a movie screen out the window, this would be one of those times.
Ha-larous! I can see why Fox wants to turn it into a movie. I still think this concept is better, for the soul.
This is how the Internet maturely handled Mitt Romney's "Binder Full of Women" comment: If you were like me, you were flipping between Game 2 of the Tigers-Yankees series (Memo to Yanks: Nelson says, "Ha ha!") and the presidential debate, where both candidates put on their fancy sassy pants and discuss the important issues that are currently plaguing our country. Who won? (Not the Yankees! OK I'll stop now.) I'm not into the whole political game, unlike Big Boss Man Ashish, who wrote an article-y article about it. So I'm going to refer you to him and Uprrox's fabulous collect of images and GIFs for your serious political business needs.
But let's be honest, average Internet citizen. One particular quote stood out from last week's debate, and unfortunately for Team Romney, it was more gaffe than great. The fun started off with a simple question about the gender wage gap. Mitt Romney's response was that he once asked for binders full of women to help fill his Cabinet selection process while he was elected governor of Massachusetts. The statement was later debunked as false, but nevertheless, the quote launched Twitter into hysteria and inspired a campaign of images and other wholesome creations – check out their Facebook page or better yet read these reviews from Amazon – to form a swell new meme.
What you'll find below is a small sample size of folder-related shenanigans. For the purposes of this column, I found ones (somewhat) pertaining to the subject of TV and movies. I want to do my best to stay on topic after all.
Bonus: the Romney Strip Club Anthem produced by Alex Kresovich. So enthralling that I pulled out all the simoleons I had in my pocket and let it rain. Then I picked up the $1.38 and bought myself some grapes. I love me some grapes.
Ashton Kutcher is Hollywood's highest paid TV actor: Forbes Magazine released their annual list of the highest paid actors last week. You got your Jon Cryer's and Ray Romano's of the world in there, but then again they're always on there. Romano ($18 million) remains on the list for Everybody Loves Raymond, a show that ended seven years ago. That's a lot of rerun money.
But coming on top of Forbes' list is Ashton Kutcher, who knocks last year's #1 spot sitter Charlie Sheen, with a cool $24 million. Irony and stuff! So Kutcher gets to go home every night and roll around in a pile of money with Mila Kunis presumably on a nightly basis. ASHTON KUTCHER! Yes, this does make insanely jealous, and now you know why this blurb is here.
10. Johnny Galecki — $8 million
9. Jim Parsons — $8 million
8. Patrick Dempsey — $12 million
7. Jon Cryer — $13 million
6. Tim Allen — $14 million
5. Mark Harmon — $15 million
4. Alec Baldwin — $15 million
3. Ray Romano — $18 million
2. Hugh Laurie — $18 million
1. Ashton Kutcher — $24 million.
$24 million for Kutcher is crazy but $14 million Tim Allen is freakin' ridiculous. *sigh*
Paranormal Activity, in Honest Trailer form: I enjoy ScreenJunkies' Honest Trailers series, even if it summons flame bait of the highest order. The latest installment celebrates the release of Paranormal Activity 4 (#1 at the box office with an "underwhelming gross" of $30.2 million) by going back where the movie series first started, Paranormal Activity. If you haven't seen the movie, don't worry – you're not missing much.
Dog. Kid. Lightsaber fight. NEED I EXPLAIN MOAR?!
Until last Thursday, I didn't have a clue what Gangnam Style was, despite the enormous amount of attention it received since July. In a related note, my Internet card has been temporary suspended for negligence and failure to follow flashy trends. In any case, this pep tune is the perfect type of song that the Internet adores: cheerful, likeable, and utterly weird. Of course this usually leads to Step 2 of the Internet Manifesto: make so many parody videos I'll need its own zip code. I like to think part of the Internet as a garden – plant latest pop culture reference, seed with another reference (preferably a timeless one), add water, and allow as early as 24 hours for it to bear fruit. Hmm that's good satire.
Yet here I stand, looking behind the looking glass (or more appropriately, trapped under a large rock), wondering what all this Gangnam Style fuss was about. So I viewed the official video. Then I listened to it again. And again. And once more. 27 more times. Next, flash mob tabs of GIFs, images, and videos. I think I may have an addiction problem.
Today's GIF fight is a tribute to the funky song – to which I grabbed two related GIFs I really liked (hint: has much to do with the garden example I used above) and have them duke it out for public supremacy. Like the presidential debate, only people care about this more.