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Movies/TV's 3R’s 11.27.12: Iron Man 3, Chevy Chase, The Simpsons, Hugh Laurie, More
Posted by Porfirio Diaz on 11.27.2012

Welcome to Week 178 of The 3 R's for the Movie/TV world.

Author note: My computer thought it would be a great time to start giving me the blue face all weekend long. By which I mean: Why are you crashing a lot you sexy hunk of machinery?!? I've met the Blue Screen of Death and Mozilla Crash Reporter so many times that we've practically became friends. It's not a mutual relationship.

Sadly it means this week's Movies/TV 3Rs will be painfully short. Ugh. I wish I could say this was one of my better efforts. Depending on the person, it still might be. You're a cool dude, right? You still think 50% of me is better than most creativity on the Internet, right? I had planned on talking about Liz & Dick, and for fun, Home Alone 5: The Holiday Heist before the sudden computer crash of the Diaz household, but I couldn't get around to watching them on time. The things I would do for you. Blame the bad RAM lodged in my comp's circuits and about to be lodged in a sinkhole. Next time, I promise.

Anyway I hope you still manage to enjoy this week's short edition. Make sure to click the Facebook "Like", Tweet button, and Google +1 links over there to the right of the article! Support 411mania, your home for the best in pop culture entertainment news. Follow me at my Twitter page:

Without any further ado, here is...

  • Don't worry: Iron Man 3 is not going to become super cereal: Judging by the first trailer, it was assumed by many that Iron Man 3 would become a very serious and dark film. I would hate it. No, wait, I wouldn't hate it. I would wank dismissively at it until it had claimed all of my remaining piles of money. I like these Marvel films to be wacky and goofy and the opposite of what Spider-Man 3 turned into.

    I don't think we have to worry about it. Here's some quotes to calm your ease:

    Marvel Producer Kevin Feige Thoughts on IronMan3: "It's not a serious movie, but we seriously dig into exploring more of Tony. The trick is just trying to make great movies. We try to make them all great, all different and all fresh. What you'll see in Iron Man 3 is some very unique directions that were taken."

    Director Shane Black's Take on The Film: "We're not aiming for bigger, necessarily. We're aiming for different and fresh and new. It's all about capturing that lightning-in-a-bottle feel, about trying to get as much into this as we can. We're looking to get a ton of thrills into a short space, to make a nice little stew for you."

    Robert Downey Jr's Take on The Film: "You can dissect why [The Avengers] was the right movie with the right people and the right director at the time. But we feel the same way about Iron Man 3 now." - 411mania via The West Australian

    Fresh, new, and totally not Spider-Man 3. Got it.

    In related news, here's former-Topless-Robot-now-io9-person Rob Bricken with a fan fiction story on Iron Man and Captain America. You're going to love it.

  • The Simpsons is going to produce a script written by Judd Apatow from 22 years ago: Despite claims of how they haven't been relevant since the 90s, The Simpsons gleefully ignores all catcalls and just keeps on truckin' ever so forward. Sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. With 514 episodes (as of Sunday) in the books and a cromulent possibility of 500 more episodes being made, America's favorite animated sitcom family will continue to embiggen television for years to come.

    But even the best writers need ideas, and as far as I know, ideas don't fall off from trees. Unless such an analogical thing does exist. In that case, they've squozen their whole supply! Good thing they're turning Judd Apatow's 22-year-old pity glass script into an episode for next season, or else this whole blurb would have been as useless as that yellow blockquote shaped rock over there.

    Wait a minute, there's a blockquote behind that rock!

    Among the anecdotes Apatow is sharing on the press rounds this fall, is that 20 years ago, once of his first attempts to break into the biz found him writing a spec script for "The Simpsons" that was ultimately rejected. Well look at what two decades and massive success will bring you. Sitting down with Conan O'Brien recently on the talk show host's new, much more sober web chat series "Serious Jibber-Jabber," Apatow reveals that his script for "The Simpsons" is going into production for an episode next year. So what is it all about? Here's what Apatow said about it during a Q&A following a screening of "This Is 40" at Film Independent earlier this month:

    The first thing I ever wrote was a spec episode of The Simpsons. After only five Simpsons episodes aired, I sat down and tried to write one when I was in my early twenties. And what it was about was they went to see a hypnotism show and at the hypnotism show, they made Homer think he was the same age at Bart. And then the hypnotist had a heart attack. So now Homer and Bart became best friends and they spent the rest of the show running away because Homer didn't want responsibility and didn't want to be brought back to his real age. So I basically copied that for every movie I've made since. - The Playlist

    This will mark the third celebrity-written episode in the show's storied history, along with "Homer Simpson, This Is Your Wife" by Ricky Gervais (Season 17) and "Homer the Whopper" by Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogen (Season 21).

    Funny story: Judd Apatow threw his beloved Simpsons script away after it was rejected. The script drifted its way around the world and eventually into the possession of Office Space. Office Space read it and made a memorial scene out of it. Cuz Office Space did it. *ignores fact that Simpsons already did the hypnotism bit back in Season 13* The script hops on a time stream and travels the globe once again. Simpsons find the script years later, frozen in a block of ice. And with that, a mighty cheer went up from the heroes of Simpsonsville. No word yet on whether the script is haunted or has at least one Wilco song. Now let's all celebrate with a cool glass of turnip juice.

    Basically this is how everyone should feel about a Judd Apatow-written Simpsons episode.

  • House is going to be a pirate for NBC television (maybe): Hey, you know Hugh Laurie from the Fox show House. Guy with the limp. Uses fake American accent. Has British accent in real life. Plays a Mr. Smarty Pants doctorb. (Sorry. Still in Simpsons mode.) Yeah, that guy. He might be a pirate now. Luther creator Neil Cross is set to develop a 10-episode mini-series called Crossbones, a new NBC show "set in 1715 on the Bahamian island of New Providence, the first functioning democracy in the Americas, where the diabolical pirate Edward Teach, aka Blackbeard, reigns over a rogue nation of thieves, outlaws and miscreant sailors." Hugh Laurie is in talks with the network to play Blackbeard, and the best part of all, he would be able to use his normal British accent.

    Hugh Laurie? Neil Cross? Pirate? Hell yeah. That the show is on NBC? Turd in the punch bowl. But whatevs. Hugh Laurie in pirate costume is good enough for me!

    The only way this news could be better is if Hugh Laurie played Bloodninja in those hilarious online chat rooms and called it Pirate Cybering. HARRRRR!!!

  • Chevy Chase is leaving Community: Report: Chevy Chase has left the building (the building where the 411mania-approved TV wonderseries Community is currently being filmed in and not the empty one where all unsold copies of Memoirs of an Invisible Man are stored).

    Pierce Hawthorne is dropping out of Greendale Community College. After a tumultuous three-and-a-half-year relationship, Chevy Chase and the producers of NBC‘s cult comedy Community are parting ways by mutual agreement. Chase's departure from the show is effective immediately. The bulk of Community‘s 13-episode fourth-season order have been filmed. Chase won't appear in the one or two episodes that have not been shot yet. - Deadline


    Chevy Chase is known to be two things: a talented actor and a giant jerk. No, gianter. Like *stretches arms* this big. So it's no surprise that Chase has essentially quit the show for good. What is a surprise is how quickly he wanted out before they could finish filming the remainder of the season. Not too much to ask why he didn't want to stick around for the last two episodes, right? He didn't even give them a chance to properly write off his character, not even via killing him off while on his way back to his home planet.

    All in all, this really sucks Community fans. Odds of the show surviving past the new season were not great to begin with, but add on Chase's abrupt departed, and suddenly things are looking grimmer than ever.

    Pictured: GONE; Via

  • PETA wants CGI-animals in The Hobbit's future: PETA, in their ever-loving wisdom, wants Peter Jackson to use all-CGI animals and beasts in future movies. This comes after 27 animals died due to negligence during the production of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.

    No, PETA. That's a bad PETA. Not that I'm in support of putting animals in danger while making movies, but… well let the film producers explain it best:

    Since PETA first reported that more than two dozen animals died during the New Zealand production of film, which is scheduled for a Dec. 14 release, Jackson and the producers of the film have fired back at the allegations.

    "The producers completely reject the accusations that twenty seven animals died due to mistreatment during the making of the films," a statement from Jackson and the "Hobbit" producers issued earlier this week stated. "The production regrets that PETA has chosen to make such a serious accusation, which has distressed many of the dedicated Kiwis who worked with animals on the films -- including trainers, wranglers, care-givers, farm workers and animal health care professionals -- without properly vetting the source from which they received this information."

    Jackson and the producers also maintain that any reports of animal mistreatment were addressed swiftly, and that appropriate action was taken. - The Wrap

    And that is why I side with Peter Jackson and his Hobbit crew. Actually I would side with almost everything bugging PETA. I just don't like them. Did you see the Penn & Teller: Bullsh*t! episode on PETA? Fantasizing stuff. Skewed? Yes. Provocative? And how. Yet some, if not most, has been proven as troof. Plus PETA went after Mario on the count he murders animals and wears their fur suits. You just don't do that.

  • Kenan & Kel reunion will never happen because Kenan hates Kel, according to Kel: Someone in trouble? Aww, here goes!

    Don't count on ever seeing the "Kenan and Kel" reunion you always hoped for -- because Kel Mitchell tells TMZ, Kenan's dropped him like a hot potato ... and is actively avoiding him.

    Kenan Thompson -- who starred with Kel in a million different Nickelodeon projects back in the day -- is currently developing a new comedy pilot with NBC, so we reached out to Kel to see if he'd be making a cameo.


    Kel tells TMZ, "The truth is Kenan does not want to be seen with me in any form of media, or even have my name mentioned around him."

    Kel says he nearly reunited with Kenan for an interview with a popular magazine but Kenan pulled out at the last minute ... and he thinks it's because Kenan's still trying to separate himself from his old co-star. - TMZ

    Man, Kenan. Why you gotta be a hater like that.

    You hate to see actor friends fight like this. Kenan, of course, is busy with Saturday Night Live and his soon-to-be comedy show on NBC. I don't even know what Kel is doing anymore, and I'm too lazy to search Google and find out. Post-Thanksgiving turkey coma.

    The only other way to rekindle Kenan and Kel's apparent broken friendship: Good Burger 2: The Good Burgering. Re-cast Sinbad and Abe Vigoda as the second leads. Then watch as the magic takes place.

    Also lazy to find out what Coolio is up to these days. Post-Thanksgiving turkey coma.

  • Discovery cancels Dirty Jobs: As someone who enjoys Mike Rowe and watching Mike Rowe do hard working jobs that the average person would not touch with a 25-foot poll, this news displeases me greatly

    The generational changeover at Discovery Channel continues with the cancellation of another aging reality series. Dirty Jobs has ended its run after eight years, series star/creator Mike Rowe announced in a blog post yesterday. The show, executive produced by Craig Piligian, was among the shows that ushered in the successful genre of docu series featuring guys doing blue-collar jobs. Dirty Jobs featured Rowe perform difficult, strange and often disgusting duties. It joins fellow Discovery veteran American Chopper, which was recently cancelled after 10 seasons as long-running reality series see their ratings decline and costs going upward. - Deadline

    Discovery had the guy working in all kinds of dirty dirtiness for the past ten years on Dirty Jobs. Maybe it was time for Mike Rowe to dust himself off and enjoy the finer, kinder delicacies in life, lest he's the kind of person who hates being inside a clean home. Hope his retirement doesn't involve him cleaning poop off his walls and hanging dead cow meat from his balcony.

    Afterwards I watched how bubble gum is made. Despite news of the cancellation, it was a pretty good few minutes for me.

  • Woman plans to wed cardboard cutout of Twilight's Edward Cullen: Ho ho ho. That's a good one. This can't be real. This is probably an indictment of how all characters in the Twilight franchise are essentially glorified cardboard cutouts. Or in Bella's case, an empty shell for the fantasized fanatics to put themselves into. Yeah, that has to be it.

    Oh no wait it's real ya'll.

    A teenage girl falls in love with a vampire and the world goes bonkers over the Twilight movie series. Now the tabloids across the pond are painting a former Memphis college of art student a "nutter" for her plans to marry a cardboard cutout of the star.

    You know the director who nailed Bella, right? Yeah. Almost the same thing.

    "I'm definitely not used to this level of attention but I'm really pleased with it," said Memphis College of Art graduate Lauren Adkins. "It's been kind of a shock."

    It's been a shock how much attention you're getting by pronouncing your marriage to a cardboard cutout of a popular fictional character. Other than that, totally normal.

    Adkins is making a big splash with her art project, her thesis for her masters at the University of Las Vegas.

    Wait, artprojwant?

    "It's a theatrical performance in which I'll be marrying Edward Cullen," Adkins said.

    It will actually be a cardboard cutout of the lead character in the enormously popular Twilight movies, featuring vampire Edward Cullen. His cut out will be at the altar with Adkins at a Las Vegas Chapel. There will be guests and a reception. Just like a real wedding.

    "She was always known to challenge female stereotypes when she was here so this is on a grander scale," said Haley Morris-Cafiero, Memphis College of Art.

    The wedding is performance art that has gone a bit haywire after the UK tabloids left out the fact that it is an art project.

    I hucked apples at people for my art project. Called it "Adam's Revenge." Got an A for effort, a citation for everything else. (Dramatization: May not have happened.)

    "They are rewriting the story on their own volition to fit their perceived idea of this crazy female fanatic," Adkins said.

    The wedding is performance art with a social comment on how the media shapes people's ideas. - WMCTV

    I guess this means I won't be able to use my "Japan called, they want their idea back" after all. I guess this means I've been caught in a trap, a web of lies to see how people like me, the media (pretend media, but still media), reacts to such farfetchedness. I don't take kindly to stories that pull my chain, especially when said chain is attached to my monocle, which, my word, has since been inexplicably dropped and found on my custom made Gucci Loafers.

    OK, so it's a performance art piece. Maybe it's not as crazy as the initial headline led you to believe. Still pretty ridiculous. I bet the divorce proceedings will be just as magical.

  • "Giant Boxing Robots Reality Show" is second most Syfy thing of all time: The most Syfy thing of all time would be if they added a mutated shark that shoots laser from his eyes. Nevertheless, ULTIMATE ROBOT FIGHTING LEAGUE!

    Ready for the next generation of robot combat? Syfy has greenlit and shot the first season of a new show where eight-foot-tall state-of-the-art humanoid robots will rock ‘em and sock ‘em in a boxing cage until one is defeated.

    The future-shock new series is called Robot Combat League and the project has been kept under wraps until today. The action resembles a real-life version of last year's hit movie Real Steel, with large menacing robots pounding away at each other in a satisfying shower of sparks and gushing hydraulic fluid. And just like in the film, the ‘bots will be controlled by shadow-boxing operators whose movements are translated into metal-on-metal punches. WWE wrestler, author and Dancing With the Stars veteran Chris Jericho will host. - EW

    Granted this is a network who thrives on animal mutation CGI porn but a reality series based on Hugh Jackman fighting robots in a boxing right? A show where killer robots are going to knife fight each other for our entertainment? And the whole show is going to be conducted by wrestler/singer/dancer/author/goofybro Chris Jericho?

    I'm all ears, Syfy.

    On an unrelated note: ROOOOBBOOOTTT HOOOOUSEEE.

  • Assassin's Creed 3 was released a few weeks ago to rave reviews – the kind of game that's destined to win at least six Spike video game awards and a movie. In this video, one furryballed critic has stepped up to admire the finer points of detail in the game. So much so that he even searches behind the scene, hoping to find a friendly pack of captivating pups to be within the magical world of a Samsung LED television. Heh heh. Look at that again. He thinks the dog in the game is real a dog.

    A testament to the game's fantastic visuals or just a real silly cat? You decide!

    Monday night's GIFable Dance-A-Thon results: The Snow Wolf Move and Groove (50.7%) over The Paul Rudd Jut and Strut (49.3%). Whoa. Last time I checked – this was before the weekend – Paul Rudd was ahead. Not by the largest of margins but still ahead by a few votes. Yet I thought he was a still shoe-in to win the contest. He lost the lead sometime over the busy weekend to a groovy and possibly overdressed wolf? Woof. What a week it was for the NEW YORK FOOTBALL SNOW WOLFS! /clichénfltalk

    So what do I have in store for this week's contest? Well the Wii U made its grand entrance last weekend. Perhaps I could cook something up from that. Maybe stir the pot and ruffle up a couple of feathers a little. I know the gaming folks over in the Games Zone will appreciate it.




    The preceding GIFs are not a testament of my gaming preference – I'm a liar. I'm a Nintendo bro. Sony and Microsoft can eat it. (Has played more PS3 and X-Box 360 than Wii within the past two years.) Even so, I just find the two animated images really really funny. #2 more than #1. I'm just on this strong Simpsons kick. I can't seem to bring myself out of it.

    Last word: Black Friday – passed. Deals – bought. Wallet – unhappy. Stomach – turkeyfull. Computer – blue face. Me – wall-punchy.




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