Movies/TV's 3R’s 12.25.12: The Walking Dead, How I Met Your Mother, Pain and Gain, Scary Movie 5, More
Posted by Porfirio Diaz on 12.25.2012
From The Walking Dead’s showrunner leaving and the trailer to Pain and Gain to Lindsay Lohan upset at Scary Movie 5 trailer, How I Met Your Mother being renewed for ninth season, and more, 411's Porfirio Diaz breaks down the Right, wRong, and Ridiculous from the week in Movies/TV!
Welcome to Week 182 of The 3 R's for the Movie/TV world.
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The trailer to Michael Bay's Pain and Gain is exactly how you think a Michael Bay bodybuilding movie would be: Replace "sassy slang-speaking robots" with "physical workout" and voilà – a bodybuilding movie directed by Michael Bay. Expect the following: deadlifts, squats, exercise upper body workout, billboard curls, muskles, EXTREME ENERGY, walking away from explosions without flinching, fast cars, kidnapping, getting in a pump. The P90X workout of my dreams!
Bad Boys meets The Wrestler meets Fast Five meets the World Bodybuilding Federation meets the Shake Weight. BAM!
Archer returns in January 2013, in the meantime why not cozy up to nine clips of the new season: Archer is amazing. That's pretty much everything I can say at this point until its return on January 17, 2013. Luckily we can enjoy ourselves to some small clips of their next season. Lana dating Cyril again? What is the third saddest story/dumbest thing Archer's heard/said today? Nut rubbers?! Oh my.
How I Met Your Mother renewed for ninth (and maybe final) season: I love How I Met Your Mother. If any show on CBS deserves to be the flagship of a network, it's this one. Oh how we laugh and play and comment on how it's not Two and A Half Men. The 2-part episode titled The Final Page? Incredible. The season was not viewed as a kind one to the series, but episodes like the previously mentioned proves HIMYM still gots it. And it looks like the show will be heading towards a ninth season after nearly six months' worth of negotiations between the cast. Jason Segel was the main clog in the delay, but partially due to the tight bond he has with the rest of his cast members, decided to return for what looks like the show's swag song season. (Also, money. Lots of it, I imagine.)
As I mentioned before, there have been some not-so-good episodes this season, but I don't think the series has deteriorated as much as, say, The Office did. They're still good for another season. I was initially going to comment how maybe it was time for How I Met Your Mother to fade away into the sunset. The Final Page brought me back into it. Bro-five, everyone.
Black Dynamite renewed for second season: Just when you thought you'll seen the last of Black Dynamite, here's Adult Swim bringing you this Christmas cheered Right. They have picked up the animated series for a 10-episode second season starting in late 2013 or early 2014, which has people jumping around like a big ol' jelly bean. So stuff that up your stocking and enjoy the festival fig, or as Black Dynamite would say, "Ain't nothin' in the world get Black Dynamite more mad than some jive sucka with no Christmas spirit, so I say choke on that spirit mothaf**** can you dig?"
(It took me 7 minutes to write this blurb. It painfully shows.)
The fan-designed Back To The Future LEGO DeLorean is a real official LEGO product now: That's right, the fan-created LEGO DeLorean (designed by Team Back to the Future (BTTF) on the Lego Cuusoo website) has been given the OK to be an actual factual LEGO product. The site promotes fans to build their own LEGO contraptions, where other fans can endorse on the ones they like. If a design receives 10,000 votes, it goes before the council of the LEGO review board to determine whether or not they want to produce it. The LEGO DeLorean won out over three other designs and that's how the design became a very real thing that I really want. It makes my carcopter that's also a boat look childish by comparison (because I made it as a child, duh). Release date is currently scheduled for mid-2013.
As if the world wasn't awesome enough, the designers get 1% of the profits from the designed sets. According to /film, Team Back to the Future has pledged to donate their 1% to the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Research. This is heavy indeed.
I am sad the Zelda LEGO was not included for production but for the good of charitable donations, it's not too bad.
The Walking Dead renewed for a fourth season…: Sweet. According to the Hollywood Reporter, AMC decided to renew their top series The Walking Dead for a fourth season, which is about as good as news as any heeey what's with ominous dot dot dot after the end of the headline…
…but The Walking Dead showrunner Glenn Mazzara is leaving the show: Oof.
"Both parties acknowledge that there is a difference of opinion about where the show should go moving forward and conclude that it is best to part ways," AMC said in a statement. "This decision is amicable, and Glen will remain on for postproduction on season 3B as showrunner and executive producer. (Filming on season three already has concluded, with the second half of episodes set to return to AMC in February.) - THR
This must have been what the Mayans were talking about all along.
Glenn Mazzara is the person responsible for calming everyone's nerves when Frank Darabont left after the first season by turning The Walking Dead into the most talked about show on Earth. Seriously, not a week goes by when I meet someone new and tell me if I watch the show. Then I go "awwwww yes" and we proceed to act like school children. I like Archer and Community and Game of Thrones as well but the one most people outside of an Internet setting refer to often is the uber-popular zombie show.
Mazzara helped make that happen – it's a shame he's leaving the show due what sounds like a classic case of creative differences between the showrunner and the network executives. I don't know what those differences entail. Was AMC trying to cut the budget again? Tone down the graphic violence? Why mess with someone that works so well? For all the awesome programming they have on their network, AMC sure is determined to screw everything up. Because what better way to celebrate a show's success than to let the guy responsible for it walk out the door.
Perhaps the show doesn't miss a beat and all this worrywarting is for naught. It happened once already, so it can happen again. Until then, AMC hates all of their showrunners and would rather employ them so they could shoot them into space if they could. Good thing they think no one has the balls to stand up to their incompetence.
AMC is run by small-minded, bottom-line thinkers who have no appreciation or gratitude for the effort of its creative personnel. Time and time again we see events like what happened today with Glen Mazzara. They continue to disrespect writers, shit on their audience and bury their network. Mazzara took the work-in-progress that was "Walking Dead" and turned it into a viable TV show with a future. Without him, that future is dim. Showrunners are not development executives, we're not cookiecutter douchebags that you plug into a preexisting model. TWD will suffer. Even Zombies need consistency. "Mad Men" and "Breaking Bad" will be gone soon. So will AMC. I hope their f*cking stock takes a dive and the shareholders line up (Josh) Sapan, (Charles) Dolan and (Charlie) Collier and shit in their open hands. C*nts.- Sons of Anarchy creator Kurt Sutter via Twitter rant via Deadline
Fun fact: all of Kurt Sutter's conversations – online or otherwise – end in "c*nt."
"AMC, WTF? Common knowledge that AMC cut Breaking Bad shorter than it should have been. Now you have creative differences w/ biggest hit's savior? With FX, Showtime, HBO, Starz, Cinemax, A&E, TNT and others to sell to, it's a real question now why good show runners should sell to AMC?" - The Shield creator Shawn Ryan also via Twitter rant also via Deadline
Can you imagine The Walking Dead on HBO? That would be pretty epic. Bewbs and gore galore – like Game of Thrones, but with a lot more dead flesh and zombification. A lot more. Awwwww yes.
Scary Movie 5 trailer confirms that Scary Movie 5 is worst thing ever (and why Lindsay Lohan agrees, although it's for the most Lindsay Lohan reason ever): How to revive franchise that hasn't made a sequel since 2006:
Step 1. Throw pop culture references from 12 months ago on wall.
Step 2. See which ones stick.
Step 3. Do them all anyway.
Step 4. Hire Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen, get them in bed together because OMG controversial people.
Step 5. Profit. "Holy cow you guys, the millions…they cannot be contained!" *makes hat out of money*
Parodies are a delight but who really wants to see another movie out of the exhausted Scary Movie franchise? There are fan-based parodies that do a better job at satire than what was shown in the trailer. David Zucker, the guy who has worked on classic comedy movies such as Airplane! and Naked Gun, has basically resorted to putting in Sheen and Lohan for novelty purposes. Scraping the bottom of the barrel, are we? That ain't right.
Hey let's talk about that Sheen and Lohan scene for a minute. Turns out it's not as romantic as we desperately wanted it to be – especially when news came out that Lindsay refused to kiss Sheen due to fear of catching a disease from his mouth. Love really is dead. Anyway, the trailer shows Lohan shrieking as Sheen is ragdolled around the room by a spooky ghost. While obvious hilarious shenanigans are taking place, a quick cut shows Lohan shrieking at something even worse than parahilarity laughvity: a TV news story about how her probation was overturned. Lindsay was not amused.
According to TMZ, the TV was supposed to be showing a clip from her 2005 movie Herbie Fully Loaded ("This would have been the first TV in the world to screen Herbie Fully Loaded, so this was a big deal for her.") but the producers changed it to what was shown instead. Lohan has final approval on all jokes about her and believes the shot was meant as payback out of spite for the times she held up the shoot and trashed the trailer given to her, which is about as Lindsay Lohanesque of an excuse as I could think of. Even Hollywood can't help but to troll Lindsay. If only they could have made a decent parody movie as well.
Wheel of Fortune hoses contestant out of nearly $4000: A contestant named Renee was able to figure out the puzzle in question but was denied after the judges gave her the buzzzzzz answer. Why you ask? She didn't pronounce the hard "G" at the end of "Seven Swans A-Swimming." The even more outrageous aspect of it all is THE G WAS ALREADY ON THE BOARD AND THAT'S HOW THE PHRASE IS SAID ANYWAY SO JUST GIVE HER THE MONEY. Judging by the uniform, she looks to be in the Navy? That's not how you honor our troops, game show!
Notice her "plotting to torch the place down" face at the end. Heh.
Monday Night Christmas Card Fight – The Kardashians vs. Honey Boo Boo's Family: What you are about to see is the Christmas cards from TV's "most-watched" respective families: one from the Kardashian clan and the other from Honey Boo Boo's family.
If we were to judge the merits of who has the better card, the Honey Boo-Boos win. I've said my piece on them various times, but they look like a normal family with a normal backdrop in a normal photo here – nothing to suggest they're the host of America's most unkempt reality show. Plus I kind of like the shirt Big Mama is wearing.
How about the question on who is the better family? Again, the Honey Boo-Boos. They have more class, although I can say that about pretty much anyone else. Honestly I'm picking the latter card because supporting anything Kardashian is an
affront to human decency. Not that I'm Captain Save-a-Boo-Boo or anything, but putting anyone against the Kards is bound to look *ttthhhhhhiiiisss* much better. The only way I'm picking them is if I was given the question, "Which family is the most self-centered attention whores on the planet?" or "Which one do you most likely want to watch in a sex tape?"
I'm ashamed Jeffrey Harris didn't stick it in his review somehow.
And finally, here is a bunch of reality stars singing "We Ruined the World" on The Soup: Out of the group, I only know Sanjava Malakar from American Idol and Ron Jeremy, though not because he was in The Surreal Life. Oh gosh no. Merry Christmas everyone!
How is your first post-Apocalyptic holiday break going? Did the prediction of fiery Armageddon detract you away from light-up sweaters and catching the annual Christmas Story marathon on TBS at all? I figured as much.
I'm doing a little something different here for the GAAVOFW section, seeing as how we're both here and not doing anything better at the moment. As the world prepares for another year, how about we look back at 50 of 2012's most popular viral videos? A celebration of all of our favorite quirky things people did that we as a nation took notice and sometimes left ridiculous comments on YouTube. There could be a few on there you might recognize – Michelle Jenneke is listed way too low and the Rebecca Black-clone Thanksgiving WAY too high. Get it together, Internet – as well as a few surprises left unearthed in your last 360+ days of Google searching (DRAGON BABY!).
The viral video recap also has plenty of adorable animals, so we're not completely out of the range. 2013 could use more gratitude adorable animal videos.
The week before last week's results: The Force Within (The Grocery Store) GIF (51.52%) narrowly beats Hook ‘Em Horns (Metal) Baby GIF (48.48%). At least it didn't end up in a tie again. Good job you guys.
Last week's results: The Paper Rubik Cub Mindscrew Trick (55.26%) mindscrews The Whiskey Cup GIF (44.74%) out of a victory. Hear that, cup? Nobody wants your infinite shallow depth container of alcoholic beverage!
As for this week's contest, I wouldn't necessarily say the following are my favorite GIFs of 2012, but they're up there for sure.
Short and simple: Michelle wins. Michelle always wins.
Last word: The last word, in JibJab 2012 recap form. See you next year!