Movies/TV's 3R’s 03.19.13: Dave Baustista, Veronica Mars, Lindsay Lohan, Emma Watson, More
Posted by Porfirio Diaz on 03.19.2013
From Batista joining Guardians of the Galaxy, the successful Veronica Mars Kickstarter project, and Lindsay Lohan’s rehab sentence to Emma Watson in Fifty Shades of Grey rumors, The Call’s debut at the box office, and more, 411's Porfirio Diaz breaks down the Right, wRong, and Ridiculous from the week in Movies/TV!
Welcome to Week 193 of The 3 R's for the Movie/TV world.
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Former WWE champion and Scorpion King 3 superstud Dave Bautista joins Guardians of the Galaxy as Drax The Destroyer: Credit The Hollywood Reporter for breaking the news that wrestler/MMA artist/Hollybro actor Dave Bautista will play Drax the Destroyer opposite a talking raccoon and others who are not talking raccoons. Jason Momoa aka Conan the Barbarian aka Conan the LOLbarian (according to critic reaction and results from the box office) was initially the frontrunner for the role, but as THR points out, "Momoa was pegged as the man for the gig in February by online geek blogs -- prematurely, it turns out." Oof.
Some of you who saw Man with the Iron Fists did not take kindly to Bautista's range of professional acting and therefore might not be too excited on this casting decision. I think he's about perfect. Drax The Destroyer is a gigantic green specimen with killer tats, a pair of knives, and a thirst for vengeance. We're not talking about Lincoln here. I'm surprised Bautista wasn't hired on the spot as soon as he walked through Marvel's diamond-encrusted doors. Plus he has that sweet belly button tattoo. It's a lock to all that crazy charisma he keeps bottled up inside.
As I said, I like it and hope he fits in well alongside the genetically-engineered talking raccoon and a tree man. And yet they still don't come close to the crazy characters he encountered during his wrestling days amirite or AMIRITE?
Thanks to your Kickstarter donation of $2 million bucks, the Veronica Mars is going to happen: A little backstory: a Kickstarter project to finance a Veronica Mars movie – first made public by series creator Rob Thomas and super awesome sexy person Kristen Bell – was made official on March 13. The pledge: a donation of $2 million by April 12. (What do Shannen Doherty, Brooklyn Decker, Jennifer Morrison and I have in common? We're all great looking people. We also share the same born date. Ed O'Neil and David Lettermen included.) Ten hours after the initial posting, the project hit its $2 million goal. As of this time, it is $1.5 million over its goal. There are still 23 days left to go.
I don't know how much the world was clamoring for a Veronica Mars movie. Sure, it introduced us to super cute tremendous easy-on-the-eyes lady Kristen Bell, and despite never watching a single episode, I am forever grateful for it. But it's not like there were loud noises about turning the cult TV hit into a feature presentation in the same way people foam at the mouth when Firefly or Twin Peaks is mentioned. Yet here we are, with a huge and rabid following firmly behind the project, and a very really possibility of Veronica Mars returning in a big screen format.
While this is an exciting prospect, I wouldn't get too caught up in the idea that using Kickstarter money to fund movie projects is going to revolutionize the movie industry. It's not easy to just throw money in the direction of studios hoping they'll finally work on the Scarecrow and Mrs. King movie you've been asking for. The Veronica Mars campaign is a special case – the project was prepped well in advance, meaning it had a script in place and the actors were committed from the start. There was also already a distributor in place, something not all independent projects have the pleasure of securing.
Thomas and Bell had to build it up in order to get to this stage of the game. It was the Veronica Mars cult fanbase that made it work, with gusto.
Not all TV shows have the luxury of boasting an incredible following of people emotionally connected to its characters and plot, not to mention the impact it left in their lives. That is why a Veronica Mars movie is going to happen. Same reason why, if it went down this route, a Community movie could happen. If it does happen, you can catch me on the news selling off all of my possessions and my kidney to help finance it and maybe have a speaking role in the background because holy crap that would be sooo awesome. Plus free t-shirt, natch. Sadly this also means the possibility of a Grey's Anatomy movie made through Kickstarter funds, or worse a According to Jim movie, will always be in play. So you have to take the good with the bad.
It is still too early whether this idea will be a positive or negative one for the industry. I think it'll be a great thing if it meant important people Frankensteining some of the great shows we love and hold dear. Who wouldn't want to see a Freak & Geeks comeback or a sequel to Heroes? (I still believe it can be salvaged, darnit!) In the meantime, congratulations on making Veronica Mars: The Movie happen, folks. More Kristen Bell is never a bad thing.
#fourseasonsanda(Kickstarterfunded)movie
More Kickstarter news: thanks to Veronica Mars' success, there may be a Pushing Daisies and Terriers movie in our future: See, it's already paying off in a major way. Pushing Daisies and Terriers is not what I had in mind when I thought "Bring back Freak & Geeks plz!" but it's all good in the hood because this is just as epic. Win-win for everybody!
Getting back to the idea of other producers going to their studios to see if they can't try this, what have you heard in the last 36 hours from colleagues in the business about this? And how much do you think the instant success of this will influence another studio's willingness to follow in your footsteps?
Rob Thomas: I did get an email from Bryan Fuller earlier today saying, 'Hey, can you jump on the phone with me at some point? I know you're busy, but I would love to talk to you about how this thing works.' And I know it was specifically for "Pushing Daisies." I heard that, and of course I saw your retweet of the Shawn Ryan thing.
Rob continues with more on the Veronica Mars Kickstarter campaign:
I know, on the second part of the question, that Warner Bros. isn't treating "Veronica Mars" like a one-off. I think they're treating us like a guinea pig — in the best way. They want to see if this model works, and they made the calculated decision, and for a lot of the reasons you articulated in that story, that we were a good test case for this. We just happened to be the right show at the right time, got to be the first one out of the gate. I think Warner Bros., if t works, it works, and they could start doing more of these. And you know that if it works at one studio, that they're not going to be the only studio in town that will be trying it. - Website
Pushing Daisies is charming and inventive and [other nice things go here] but the production costs was expensive and ABC decided it was not worth keeping it around for only a fringe audience. PERFECT for a Kickstarter movie campaign! Except the cast might also be too busy with other projects – screw it BRING FORTH PUSHING DAISIES MOVIE and YES ON TERRIERS TOO YES PLZ.
If the resurrection of these TV shows proves unsuccessful, can I put in a request for Party Down?
People sort of kind of like last weekend's movies about fairy tales, telephone operators, magicians: Oz: The Great and Powerful remained in the top spot for one more week, grossing $42 million for a total of $144 million. Eh, it's fine but not the "big $$$ for eyes" success Disney was hoping for the $200 budget movie. For a film that has a threesome of Mila Kunis, Rachel Weisz, and Michelle Williams, it has to be somewhat of a disappointment. Maybe if they had worn bikinis and snorted cocaine off the back of a passed out flying monkey it would have been different.
But the biggest deal is how well The Call did with a $17.1 million weekend debut. Easily the most successful WWE-produced movie to date. Way to go, former Oscar winner Halle Berry.
The Call took second place with $17.1 million. That's way above 2007 Halle Berry thriller Perfect Stranger ($11.2 million), and also higher than similar titles Untraceable ($11.4 million) and Lakeview Terrace ($15 million). It was a bit off from Berry's 2003 thriller Gothika ($19.3 million), though that had a more intense marketing effort and came at the peak of Berry's popularity.
The Call was a recent acquisition for Sony—they didn't put it on their release schedule until the beginning of 2013—but the studio invested in an aggressive marketing effort nonetheless. After the trailer and early commercials established the premise and built awareness, recent marketing took Berry's character out of the call center and in to the action, proving the movie had the kind of thrills audiences are looking for. - Box Office Mojo
Prediction: 5 years from now, The Call will still be better than The Marine 11: Operation Give Zack Ryder More Screen Time starring Jack Swagger.
As for The Incredible Burt Wonderstone…*armpit fart*.
Lindsay Lohan Got Served (with a 90 day rehab sentence): She's going going, back back, to rehab rehab. Uhh yeah. She's going going, back back, to rehab rehab. Uhh yeah.
After showing up to court fifty minutes after the hearing was scheduled to start, Lindsay Lohan accepted a plea deal consisting of 90 days spend in a lockdown rehab facility (note: Lindsay elected to serve 90 days of rehab over 90 days in jail), 30 days of community service, and undergo 18 months of psychotherapy. Michael Lohan was most furious.
I know most of you are pretty upset that she seemingly got out of another jail sentence due to her (rapidly fading) celebrity status (of movies and not of what she does behind the wheel; the latter being what brought us here to this tale of sad), but this can still be good for Lohan. Placing her in a locked out rehab clinic is a better alternative than being placed in a jail cell, since she has ability to reach out for help vs. a spork to the temple. Rock bottom is a terrible place to be and the sooner Lohan realizes it's no picnic, the sooner she'll submit to the case of needing severe professional assistance.
Of course she does have a habit of blowing things off without recourse. She was late for her own court hearing, one that would determine if she is guilty of being a Nancy Nocare, because she just had to blow off her early flight home to catch a concert. I don't know with this girl anymore. On the plus side, 90 days of safe freeway driving.
Small note: before Lohan walked into the courtroom, someone threw a handful of gold glitter at her. All it did was made me think of this the whole time.
Matt Lauer replacing Alex Trebek as host of Jeopardy is rumors I can live without: When I think of Jeopardy, two things come to mind: Ken Jennings and Turd Ferguson. Man do I miss SNL's Celebrity Jeopardy sketch. I can't look at Alex Trebek without first thinking of Will Ferrell's brilliant adaptation of Trebek and his feud with Darrell Jammond's Sean Connery.
Unfortunately not all things stay great forever. SNL has discontinued the series ever since Farrell left, and there is word that once the real Alex Trebek steps down in 2015, Matt Lauer is next in line to replace Trebek as the host of Jeopardy
The beleaguered host of the "Today" show is at the top of the list to take over the brainy game show when Trebek steps down, as expected, in 2016, knowledgeable sources tell The Post.
Lauer is widely reported to be on his way out at the morning show, which has tumbled to No. 2 in the ratings in the last year. He is being blamed for the show's fall from grace after 16 years on top.
The Post reported this week that Lauer is not expected to re-sign with "Today" when his blockbuster, $25-million-a-year deal expires in 2015. - NY Post
Ooo. Hope Taylor Swift has a tube of ointment handy because that's a wicked burn.
The best part of Super Bowl commercials: reading people's complaints on Super Bowl commercials: I'm over the Niners lost. You hear me, I'm over it. At least I think I'm over it. Let me check my "I'm over it" meter. *Arrow points to "Over"* Yup. Especially since their goal is to acquire every single Raven from the championship squad. All Baltimore will have left on that team is Joe Flacco and the city's indoor soccer championship team. Look for those who are not a franchise QB to be cut fairly soon.
Anyway, an estimated 108.7 million people tuned in to watch the Super Bowl. As always, with a healthy percentage of America tuning for the benefit of glitz, glamour, and product endorsement, you're bound to hear from a few who were outraged at some of the spectacle taking part on the CBS broadcast. Deadspin has a collection of those very complaints that were filed with the FCC earlier in the year. You can go over to their site to read their 48 individual favorites. Or you can stay here and read the best of the very best. Here are my three favorite complaints:
Thanks Beyonce's Pelvic Thrusting! Signed, the male population XOXOXO
Yeah, how dare a football player be allowed to let loose any sort of pent-up emotion after a long grueling season. He should be banned from happiness and America.
Granny thinks you all shouldn't kiss a girl. It's disgusting.
Emma Watson to star in Fifty Shades of Grey according to Anonymous, the hacker Super Friends (UPDATE: or maybe not): Consider this story a two-parter. Part #1: since when did Anonymous, the notorious hacktivist group, start breaking news? Where they the ones who broke the Facebook relationship status between Lindsey Vonn and Tiger Woods too? Or did Anonymous change it the status to mess with the media? Hmm. Whatever the reason, they're a lot better source than TMZ.
Case in point, they were able to get the scoop on several uncovered documents with major Hollywood implications – Emma Watson has signed on to star as Anastasia Steele in the big screen adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey. Tagline: it's like Twilight but with far less BDSM.
If what Anonymous claims is true…well crap. Now I have to go see it.
News is out that a group of hackers known collectively as Anonymous managed to hack into the internal server of German studio Constantin Films, and leaked several documents. Among the docs was one noting Emma Watson is attached to star in the upcoming Focus Features Fifty Shades film adaptation, confirming a much-buzzed-about rumor.
The studio acknowledged to The Hollywood Reporter that it had, in fact, been hacked, but downplayed the action, saying the documents stolen were out of date and widely accessible to many Constantin employees. - USA Today
Can't tell if happiest news to ever reach men ages 12-99 or a trap. I have to consult with the 411 elders on this one.
"Duh." *posts 146 photos of Emma Watson on front page*
Then it's decided.
IMPORTANT UPDATE: then it's not decided.
Emma Watson shot down a rumor that she will be playing the role of Anastasia Steele in the film adaptation of E. L James' "Fifty Shades of Grey."
Watson told EW.com last July, "I haven't read the book, I haven't read a script, nothing," she said.
E.L James went to Twitter on Friday, March 15, to say, "There have been no casting decisions made about Fifty Shades."
A day later, Watson tweeted, "Who here actually thinks I would do 50 Shades of Grey as a movie? Like really. For real. In real life." - ABC News
Great. If I can't trust hackers to give me a sweet spoonful of that Hollywood truth, then who can I trust? On the other hand, we no longer have to break the record for worst movie ever to watch in 19 consecutive showings.
A Game of Thrones-The Princess Bride mashup? As you wish: Look, words are meaningless at this point. There is nothing else I can say that would enhance the experience of Grandpa reading a young Kevin Arnold about the world of Game of Thrones. It would be…inconceivable.
Brilliant.
For fun, check out the newest GoT trailer. Two more weeks!
Spring Breakers is out on limited release but here is a small sample of what you can expect: So Emma Watson in Fifty Shades of Grey is out the window. I guess we just have to settle for Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, and Ashley Benson in bikinis, but we will have to wait until this Friday for its national release. Oh the woe of being a humble man.
There will be a lot more on Spring Breakers next week (Possible critical analysis: too much tits 2 out of 10 *smells own farts*) but for now, here a sample of what you can expect from the movie your parents will be talking about for generations:
Disney turned into a hardcore sex channel so gradually, I didn't even notice.
I consider this week's entry the apex of GAAVOFW: an adorable corgi gleefully bouncing up and down, adorably. Take your ball and go home, Internet. This pup's got you beat.
The last contest proved an age old adage that haunted mankind for centuries: is a dog humping his owner's face seconds after saving him from a hilariously tragic fall off a trampoline better than a recreational baby go-kart race? According to experts – in this case experts being readers who voted in last week's poll by their own free will – yes it is. Trampoline Hijinks (61.65%) beats out Happy Baby Kart (38.35%) and claims the prize for best GIF in Show. Atta boy.
This week: more GIFs about normal people in everyday situations.
"I'm sure these two small tires will be able to support the drop from this here cinder pipe weighing an ass-ton from a few feet from the ground. What can possibly go wrong?"
*something did go wrong*
"Dadgummit, science! You done did us wrong. I don't believe in nothing no more. I'm going to law school."
On the other side of the GIFnasium is what happens when you resort to junior high school pranks on well-adjusted painted-coated cowboys. Wiped the smirk off his face, he did. Probably left a grey imprint on his cheek as well. The lesson: don't prank street performers. The douche is lucky all he had was a wet willie in his arsenal. Purple nurples result in a free nut shot, followed by fire.
Last word: I'm be talking part in the next Wrestling Fact or Fiction coming later in the week. Please be gentle.
