Movies/TV's 3R’s 04.16.13: Man of Steel, Hunger Games: Catching Fire, Glee, Hugh Jackson, More
Posted by Porfirio Diaz on 04.16.2013
From the latest Man of Steel pictures and the latest trailer for The Hunger Games: Catching Fire to MTV canceling Buckwild and more, 411's Porfirio Diaz breaks down the Right, wRong, and Ridiculous from the week in Movies/TV!
Welcome to Week 197 of The 3 R's for the Movie/TV world.
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Man of Steel is in full hype mode and I love it: Not to be General Buzzkill here, but I'm still not sure if Man of Steel can live up to the hype. Yes, the excitement is there and you can bet I will be in line for the premiere midnight showing. Still, I don't know. Call it a cynic's intuition. We'll see come June 14th.
Thankfully Warner Bros. has gone out to hype the event by releasing a hefty amount of pictures and videos via a tremendous viral marketing campaign. I'm always a sucker for these kinds of advertisement. If there is one thing that could lower my fears about a particular blockbuster, viral marketing would be it.
First things first, the thirty seconds of TV broadcast static with General Zod. His demands are stout, "For some time your world has sheltered one of my citizens. I request that you return this individual to my custody." Afterwards he turns his attention directly to Superman, "Surrender within 24 hours or watch this world suffer the consequences." I think he means to disable all the porn channels. Anything bigger than that is just overkill.
In addition to his scrambled threat is a billboard in Los Angeles that seems to be related. Deciphering the code leads to the viral site IWillFindHim.com, where it displays nothing but a countdown clock made out of Krytponian symbols. I haven't been able to break this particular code, but chances are it leads to the release of a new Man of Steel trailer. Whoopee!
Last and not least, new obligatory Man of Steel pics! Look at how menacing/intense/worried/sexual tension-ee they all are. You have intrigued my interests, Man of Steel.
42 does not drop the ball at the box office (or something like that) (I suck at baseball puns): Not a surprise the baseball-trotted Jackie Robinson biopic earned tops in the box office over the weekend with $27.3 million. It is a surprise that the previous highest opening baseball movie was The Benchwarmers (2006), starring David Spade, Rob Schneider, and the guy who played Napoleon Dynamite. (Does anyone even know his real name without looking it up on Google?) Anyway, 42 is a pretty cool movie so you should probably go check it out whenever you have the chance. Then come back and determine where it ranks upon the best baseball-themed movies. Does 42 beat out classics such as The Sandlot, Rookie of the Year, and Major League III: Back to the Minors?
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire: The Trailer: The trailer for Hunger Games: Catching Fire was first revealed during the MTV Movie Awards (Seriously did anyone see the broadcast? Do you even know what channel MTV is on anymore?) and lookie lookie at Jennifer Lawrence channeling her inner Croft. Amazing how one person – one awesome person – can make these movies seem more enjoyable…you know, more enjoyable to look at Jennifer Lawrence. OK, so the first chapter in the series was mediocre, no check it, kinda bad. But didn't Jennifer Lawrence gain enough Internet street cred over the months to deserve another chance?
All signs point to yes. Maybe. I mean, it does look actionier than the last one…
Emma Watson pole dancing? Emma Watson pole dancing: So, hey, the MTV Movie Awards ceremony took place on Sund…
"SHOW US EMMA WATSON POLE DANCING NOW!!"
OK, OK guys but I need to at least write it in conte…
"NO SHOW US EMMA WATSON POLE DANCING NOW!!"
Does that mean I can't even tell you about how the scene is taken from Bling Ring, the movie about a gang of teenagers who rob the homes of celebrities and…
"ENOUGH TALK EMMA WATSON POLE DANCING OR WE WILL FORCE PUPPIES TO LISTEN TO EVERY NICKI MINAJ SONG IN EXISTENCE!!"
And just so you know, Hermoine does not approve of your behavior.
IFC orders pilots from Garfunkel and Oates, Chris Gethard, Megan Mullally, more: The Independent Film Channel (IFC) has ordered pilots and scripts from a bunch of comedians you probably don't recognize but should take the time to research about anyone because they funny, including Garfunkel and Oates (a.k.a. Riki Lindhome and Kate Micucci), Chris Gethard, Megan Mullally, Matt Besser, and Rob Schrab. I'm very much excited about the prospect of a Garfunkel and Oates-led TV show. Those two are such rascals.
You can read more about these pilots and scripts below:
TIMMS INDUSTRIAL PIPING
A scripted comedy set in the fictional town of Timms Valley, Wisconsin, where the lives and livelihoods of its citizens are intertwined with the fate of the town's biggest employer, Timms Industrial Piping. When the company's founder and CEO goes missing in a plane crash, the lives of the characters are turned upside down. Shot in stop-motion animation with baby dolls repurposed as an array of adult characters, and modeled on 1980s primetime soaps like Dynasty, the show is written by Steven Conrad (The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, Pursuit of Happyness), and created by Conrad, Jeff Dieter and Tom Glynn. The show is produced by Conrad's Chicago-based company, Elephant Pictures. Currently in production, the pilot features the voice talents of: Maria Bamford, Elizabeth Banks, Lance Barber, Giancarlo Esposito, Ed Flynn, Kathryn Hahn, Nick Kroll, Matt Levin, John Lithgow, Kumail Nanjiani, Mike O'Connell, and Seann William Scott.
GARFUNKEL & OATES
The pilot is a scripted comedy about the female comedy-folk duo Riki Lindhome (Garfunkel) and Kate Micucci (Oates). The pilot centers on the aspirations and misadventures of this odd couple, and will spotlight the personal and professional lives of the duo whose career choices – singing satirical and sometimes dirty songs – leaves them with little in common with their peers, and no one but each other to turn to for support and understanding. The pilot, produced by Abominable Pictures' Jonathan Stern (Children's Hospital, NTSF:SD:SUV::) will begin production in May in Los Angeles.
A scripted comedy about two newly single guys who travel around the world looking for love, and in the process form an invaluable friendship. The project is based on the writers' true story: Michael Blieden (Up All Night, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon) and Eric Ledgin (Late Night with Jimmy Fallon). The pilot, produced by @radical.media begins production in mid-April in Stockholm.
What happens when an employee at a storage facility befriends a guy he finds living in one of the units? The project is based on the short film of the same name co-written by Andrew Jay Cohen (Townies) and Brendan O'Brien (Townies).
Cult Following follows two friends who jointly run a health food restaurant and inadvertently become cult leaders. The pilot script is co-written by and co-stars Matt Besser (co-founder of the Upright Citizens Brigade, Freak Dance) and Rich Fulcher (The Mighty Boosh, Snuff Box).
Actor/comedian Kyle Dunnigan (Reno 911!, Comedy Central Presents, co-host Professor Blastoff podcast) plays multiple characters living in a community that surrounds a Connecticut church. The pilot script is co-written by Kyle Dunnigan and Tim Long (The Simpsons).
Part Terminator, part X-Files, part Mork and Mindy, the supernatural buddy comedyJetpackula is written and created by Rob Schrab (The Sarah Silverman Program) and follows a washed up comic book illustrator as he befriends a vampire from the future.
Previously announced as A Bad Idea I'm About to Do, this show's script is based on comedian Chris Gethard's (The Chris Gethard Show, The Other Guys, This American Life) recent autobiographical book of the same name. Tom Scharpling (The Best Show on WFMU, Monk) is series executive producer and co-creator. Gethard and Scharpling are co-writing the pilot script.
Michael Davis (Shoot ‘Em Up) is writing a script for the action/buddy comedy Trigger Men. Based on a graphic novel, the story follows two friends and former hit men as one tries to clean up his act and the other pulls him deeper into trouble.
Created and written by Megan Mullally (Will & Grace, Party Down, Children's Hospital) and newcomer Tina Kapousis, Two Idiots follows a pair of odd women raised in an old world Beverly Hills hotel whose simplest everyday undertakings fly absurdly off the rails, with their beleaguered butler and a remedial shared boyfriend in tow.
IFC, in partnership with the New York Television Festival, awarded a script deal and the 2012 "Out of the Box" prize to Damian Lanigan of Brooklyn, NY. The project centers on a dysfunctional Main Line Philadelphia family who find that they have squandered away their money and are left with nothing but the shared ownership of an enormous family mansion. - Vulture
Dream scenario: every bad popular show on television (looking at you, Two and Half Men) gets replaced with all the shows above. Speaking of Garfunkel and Oates:
If you must know, I'm on Team Oates.
Word to the wise: Don't see Scary Movie 5: I repeat: don't see Scary Movie 5. As if you didn't already know, the franchise is notorious for throwing pop culture slapstick (from months, even years ago mind you) in a meat grinder and calling it a spoof movie in the same way The Naked Gun or Airplane! is a spoof movie. Leslie Nielsen has never been more proud of the genre he helped built, I say sarcastically.
LOL look at how they used an exact replica of a throwaway joke in Idiocracy and turned it into a timely Inception spoof. Sheesh.
You're better off watching that baseball movie three times in a row. Or watch White Chicks. That movie sucks too, but I guarantee you it has more laughy parts than Scary Movie 5. Better yet, imagine watching this totally made up movie I made up that's totally better than Scary Movie 5:
So, like, there's this cursed werewolf going around Dorville, South Carolina and turning people into werewolves, only instead of a werewolf the creature is a bumblebee. So basically it's a movie were people are turning into werebees. The only way to revert back to normal is to sting another person and pass the curse along to them. The twist: once it stings someone, the once curse-wearer will die. So the character's choices are basically narrowed down to: live with being a werebee for all eternity or sting someone to get rid of the curse but die. Oh, and the werebee is immortal. It cannot die any other way. Also it only targets gay cowboys for reasons that are essential to the plot and definitely not for any award considerations. Ang Lee has already agreed to direct. (If by "stop calling me or I'll call the cops" is code for "absolutely I'll direct your future Oscar winner.") Personal contract negotiations with Jake Gyllenhaal – set to play as main star Lance Lavender – are still ongoing. He may be as stiff as a cardboard cutout (that's because he's a cardboard cutout he's not a cardboard cutout) but I know he can get the job done. The movie is called Beeback Mountain and it is already better than Scary Movie 5.
Last week's Glee school shooting episode was all kinds of awful: Ugh. UGH you guys. That was awful. Glee's school shooting episode titled "Shooting Star" was awful. I've met my fair share of awfulness over the years, but that was the awfulest bunch of awful that ever awfuled.
Earlier in the year Gleeripped off Jonathan Coulton's "Baby Got Back" without permission or acknowledgement that they were using his version. Fox essentially went "oh well sucks to be you" and remade the song that ended up 100 times worse. The whole incident was pretty bad – like an 8 on the "This is Terrible" scale. We figured it would take some time before the series could manage to outdo itself with another PR-mess. Well wait no more. Last Thursday's Glee, which co-creator Ryan Murphy called it "the most powerful, emotional Glee ever," is a thousand times worse.
Yeah, that's right everyone. Becky is the shooter. The girl with Down syndrome, afraid about life outside of the bubbly world of high school and thinking no one would protect her from the future, is the one responsible for bringing a gun to school. That girl. The one with Down syndrome.
Let's dismiss the plot where cheerleader Brittany believes an asteroid is going to hit the city because I can only handle one idiotic thing at a time. Actually wished it was the case so we couldn't be subjected to the trash that would follow. The outrage pretty much boils down to these bullet points: Glee school shooting episode, Glee using the sensitive subject of a widespread fear as an atrocious ratings ploy – Guess what? It worked. UGH – Glee suggesting that no "normal" person would have done what the Down syndrome girl did, and pretty much Glee school shooting lolz episode. By the way, Murphy didn't bother to tell the residents of Newtown about the episode. By the way (Part 2), the episode concluded with Becky apparently getting off scot-free and Sue Sylvester taking the blame, never alerting authorities or a therapist or really anybody about the time one of her students brought a loaded gun on school grounds, therefore not giving that student, the one who carried a loaded gun to school, the help and support she needs.
Oh but don't worry guys – Glee will be back next week, with all of this hot mess forgotten, remixing the new Psy cover Gentleman or some silly bullsh*t.
MTV canceling Buckwild leads show producer to absolutely lose it: MTV decided to cancel Buckwild in the wake of star Shain Gandee's untimely death, saying it is "not appropriate" to continue with a second season, after the show was renewed in February. The network, however, did air the special Buckwild: WV to NYC last Saturday. All in all, the general populace seems to be okay with the decision, as Shain was apparently more or less the show. To continue onward without him is not exactly an ideal situation, since the premise would (most likely) go from "funky rednecks with four-wheelers" to "sad kids mourning loss of good friend." There's also that story about how another peep on the show got busted with a large quantity of Oxycodone in a drug raid. So yeah, it's probably for the best.
Buckwild producer J.P. Williams is not part of the general populace and does not think the cancellation is for the best, as he took his oversized pickup truck and pretty much drove all over MTV's entire existence due to the network's decision to cancel his pride and joy.
"This is the network that has shows about teen pregnancy. They'll stick by a show that allows you to abandon a child, but a kid dies by accident doing what he does for a living [mudding], and they cancel the show?" he fumes. (Editor's note: uh, poor choice of words there, THR.) "There's something that smells of s--- here on every level."
Williams, who manages eight of the show's cast members, including Gandee, does not intend to move on to other projects. In fact, he suggests that he will continue shooting the series and will look to produce a Buckwild film, which he would self-finance if need be. "My job is to protect these kids," he tells THR, adding: "This will get ugly." - THR
MTV is not what you consider to be the best representation of morality – he's right about the teen pregnancy show in any case – but whoa slow your roll there J.P. Williams. I'm not going to argue about the merits of whether or not to continue a television reality series after a prominent figure, you know, happened to die. I will say that lambasting the network for handling an unfortunate situation the best way possible is a bit unfair, at least in this particular bubble. MTV could have easily gone "so yeah a kid died and another one was caught in a drug bust but the show must go on hurr!" They chose Option #2 and that ain't half bad.
Feel free to attack them for all the other things though. Like, for example, this:
Bet on Your Baby premiered on ABC last Saturday…say what now?: Oh no.
The aptly titled show revolves around parents betting on the ability of their toddlers to follow instructions. (Sample: "For $5,000, will your husband get baby Derrick to spin at least seven times in 30 seconds?") But Bet On Your Baby doesn't even get the wickedness of its concept right: It's boring and schlocky.
You know what else is boring and schlocky? Watching someone video tape someone else watching wallpaper dry. Yet I would still watch that for six straight hours over Bet on Your Baby.
The game works like this: A mother and father are presented with a challenge for their toddler, while the child is sequestered in the "baby green room." One half of the couple elects to coach the child through the challenge in the "baby dome," while the other stays behind to bet on the child's ability to complete the task. Audience members then chant like hagglers at a market, which is weird because it's not like they know Dez or Evan and their ability to stack Oreos or hold a beach ball. Anyway, if the bettor parent correctly sizes up the adequacy or inadequacy of child and spouse relative to the task, the family wins $5,000 in college scholarship money. A showcase showdown of sorts ensues, for up to a $50,000 scholarship. - AV Club
It would have been better if the babies did a shot-for-shot remake of the pilot episode of Lost. The awesomeness would have burned down several Gap stores alone.
Anyway, you can read the rest of Katherine Miller's spot-on review here. You can also cross off "babies" on the list of things television is willing to exploit for profit. I guess that just leaves…abortions and break-dancing robots. I think?
Huge Hugh Jackman fan breaks into Hugh Jackman's gym and throws a razor with (her) pubic hair at Hugh Jackson: Hugh Jackman is better known as the whimsical Wolverine, or for you theater snobs out there, the guy who ear-wormed your musical taste buds in Les Misérables. To one particularly crazed fan, he's a cuddlecake so well deserving of a razor with their pubic hair on it. Wait, pubic hair?
A deranged female stalker burst into Hugh Jackman's West Village gym and threw an electric razor filled with her pubic hair at him during his morning workout yesterday, police sources told The Post.
She was screaming "I love you!" as a staffer dragged her away from the star.
The actor, who plays Wolverine in the "X-Men" movies, was exercising at Gotham Gym on Washington Street at about 8 a.m. when Kathleen Thurston, 47, bushwhacked him.
The blond stalker, wearing khaki pants and a blue hoodie, was hysterically sobbing as she slipped past the check-in desk at the tiny gym and made a beeline for the actor, said Mike Castle, 35, a Gotham trainer. - New York Post
Look on the bright side Hugh: better that than eating a bowl of chili with her pubic hair grinded into it. In other news, Razor Full of Pubic Hair is the latest garage band name just begging to be taken.
Finally! The complete Girls living experience you've been waiting for: This Craigslist ad (which has since been taken down) is for all you Girls fans out there looking for: 1) a place to live in the New York area and 2) a chance to live out your Girls fantasies come true. Please take note of the italic font on "Girls" as to not confuse the kind of ideal living quarters you had in mind. In other words, instead of accommodating 20-something-year-old college co-eds with a degree in "experimenting" and "lingerie pillow fights," you'll be sharing a trashy apartment with an actual Hannah who self-identifies herself as an "artist," and as far as I can tell, there's a window. So like the show!
Love going to "gallery openings that are incredibly meaningful to us on a deep personal level" and "hanging out in Greenpoint" where I bet all the cool "warehouse parties" are located? Then look no further than this probably ironic but probably not Craigslist ad.
$1500 / 1br - 1BR in 3BR "HBO Girls" Living Experience $1500 (Williamsburg)
Are you a fan of the HBO TV show Girls? Do you want to be happy and to stop living experiences for other people? Do you believe that your life represents a commentary on the state of the Caucasian, 20-something, used-to-be-upper-middle-class-but-now-only-sometimes-benefit-from-the-wealth-and-status-of-your-parents demographic? Well search no further; we have the perfect living experience for you.
We've got a one room for sublet in a three bedroom (used to be two) livable and trendy but trashy-enough-to complain-about-apartment. Living with us is essentially the real life version of the TV show.
-One gay roommate, with a penchant for backhanded compliments, adding the oh-so-needed bitchiness to a night in of getting drunk and re-watching 90s TV shows. He is everything you might want in a roommate: neurotic, judgmental, and certainly more attractive than you.
-One roommate named Hannah (for reals) with the fashion sense of a homeless kindergartener. She shares a number of wardrobe items with Lena Dunham, but also adds a flare of originality through such novelties as elephant pants. She self-identifies as an "artist."
-Both of us graduated from college two years ago and moved to New York to "follow our careers." Watch as we navigate the minefield that is our 20s and tackle the challenges of our generation, including: Is it appropriate to sleep with [person X], and would you judge me if I did? Which Thai restaurant should I order from tonight? And how does one install a coat rack onto an electrical panel? (But really if you know the answer to that last one, please drop us a line.)
Aside from the day to day interactions that could probably supply Girls with a season's worth of dialogue, here are some things that you can look forward to:
-Concerts by local bands that we're only at because we're friends of a friends
-Hanging out in Greenpoint
-Hanging out in cafes
-Gallery openings that are incredibly meaningful to us on a deep personal level
-Dinner parties that can really only be called that because they sometimes involve dinner, but more often involve wine
-Lots of angst
It's a room. There's a window. What more are you looking for? Okay; if you're interested, I'll send you photos or whatever, but they're going to be instagramed.
What We're Looking For
Do you watch Girls and think "they're living the life of my generation; I need to get back to the people and live more like them"? If yes, then you're probably in the right place. Basically we just want to keep living our lives and we need someone for that room, because we can't afford to keep the place otherwise and will be forced to move to Bushwick. Typologies of roommates we would accept include "Shoshanna"s or "Marnies." Bonus points if you're related to Brian Williams.
You may be asking yourself "is this post ironic?"
Yes, yes it is.
But no not really, we actually do need someone for that spare room.
*Details on duration and photos etc. available on request. Move in on May 1st
You know what would be the best? If a grizzly bear answered the ad and was accepted as the new roommate. He would celebrate by eating everyone in the room and pooping on their coat rack. Because he's a grizzly bear.
What might happen if Disney and lightsabers took over Game of Thrones: This is a column that likes to celebrate movie/TV as well as mash-ups and Internet-created content of movies/TV. Such is the case of the following Game of Throne presentations, each delightful in their own way.
Ever wondered how the series would be if it replaced swords with lightsabers? Here's something for that. Way to go, Internet. You get a gold star.
Even wondered how the series would be like if it was produced by Disney? Yup, here's something for that too. Imagine: whimsical songs replacing boobs and blood. George R.R. Martin would have to be kept in an underwater triple steel cage for that universe to never take place.
Go the F**k to Sleep is going to become an actual factual movie: If this is your first time hearing about the children's book "Go the F**k to Sleep," then pull up a chair and let little old me tell you more about how this verbal bedlam of bedtime storytelling.
It's a children's book telling children to go the f**k to sleep.
WOO. I'm parched. Anyway, the book at one point became number one on Amazon before it was even released. The release eventually led Samuel L. Jackson and Werner Herzog to do an audio reading of it because of course they did.
According to Deadline, Fox 2000 wants to take Go the F**k to Sleep and turn it into a movie. Shut the front door!
Husband-wife scripting team Ken Marino & Erica Oyama have been hired to adapt the book Go The F To Sleep for Fox 2000 and Twilight Saga producer Karen Rosenfelt and All You Need Is Kill producer Erwin Stoff. The book, which was written by Adam Mansbach and illustrated by Ricardo Cortes, is categorized as a children's book for adults. Mansbach wrote it out of a father's frustration with being unable to get his young daughter to nod off each night. - Deadline
Tough to determine how a simplistic plot can be turned into a 90 minute masterpiece. That's never stopped Hollywood before. If they could make not just one, not two, and many, many movies about board games, then they can make a movie about children going the f**k to sleep.
You can listen to Samuel L. Jackson's reading of the book below.
And for reasons important to you, me and the entire universe, here's a picture of the Justice League waterskiing: Now we see why Warner Bros can't move forward with Justice League. They're all on vacation. Look, Aquaman is useful!
You can add "stacking cups" on the list of things sea otters can do, in addition to dunking basketballs and submitting our taxes.
Flawless lion is not flawless after all, losing to Headless Drive Thru Prank GIF in a close back-and-forth contest 52.87% to 47.13%. And the man falls down the ugly tree even harder. No flawless lion can save you now.
Not much needs explanation for this week's GIF entries, other than the source is a cloud of mystery. A kick to the groin in preparation of an emotional scene is a kick to the groin in preparation of an emotional scene. The context of the second GIF is lost on me, so I'm going to assume it's tradition to hold magazines in front of a lady's face and perform Falcon Punch as a way of introduction and/or mating ritual before striking a superb victory pose. And that, kids, is how I met your mother.
Last word: I was going to post what I did for my 30th birthday last week, but in light of Monday's tragic events, I've decided to forgo it. Instead I will post what Patton Oswalt said on his Facebook page in response to the bombings in Boston:
Boston. Fucking horrible.
I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, "Well, I've had it with humanity."
But I was wrong. I don't know what's going to be revealed to be behind all of this mayhem. One human insect or a poisonous mass of broken sociopaths.
But here's what I DO know. If it's one person or a HUNDRED people, that number is not even a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a percent of the population on this planet. You watch the videos of the carnage and there are people running TOWARDS the destruction to help out. (Thanks FAKE Gallery founder and owner Paul Kozlowski for pointing this out to me). This is a giant planet and we're lucky to live on it but there are prices and penalties incurred for the daily miracle of existence. One of them is, every once in awhile, the wiring of a tiny sliver of the species gets snarled and they're pointed towards darkness.
But the vast majority stands against that darkness and, like white blood cells attacking a virus, they dilute and weaken and eventually wash away the evil doers and, more importantly, the damage they wreak. This is beyond religion or creed or nation. We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago.
So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, "The good outnumber you, and we always will." - Patton Oswalt FB page via Warming Glow
Thoughts and prayers from me and everyone here at 411mania to the victims of this terrible tragedy and their families.