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 411mania » Movies » Columns

Ten Deep 5.09.13: The Top 10 Worst Things In Hollywood
Posted by Steve Gustafson on 05.09.2013

Top Ten Worst of Hollywood!

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Welcome to the Ten Deep! I'm Steve Gustafson and I'm your random host for the week while your regular writer is away on official 411mania business! I've been a long time fan of the column and super excited I could fill in for a week.

Tony Acero did a great job last week and I really had to think long and hard about what I wanted to focus on my list on. Anyone can throw together a "Top 10 Batman..." (Kidding Tony!) or "Top 10 Comic Book Movies I Want to See...". I wanted mine to be special and not one you've seen before.

That got me thinking about what people like. People like...NAY...LOVE...to complain! So why not throw open the gates and dive right into the negative pool? Why not focus on the WORST Hollywood has to offer?

I'll share my Top 10 Worst of Hollywood and YOU share your Worst in the Comment section below!

Let me be clear: I love Hollywood. If I didn't, I wouldn't be writing for 411mania. Think of this list is a way to clear the pipes.

Oh, and sometimes I threw in a totally random video or picture for the entry. Just because.

10. George Lucas

"Lucas ruined my childhood."
"He's destroyed Star Wars."
"His writing is horrible."

We've heard the same thing over and over when it comes to George Lucas. While these statements are true to a point, my beef with Lucas isn't related to these things. I'll always be thankful for him giving us Star Wars, even though I feel a lot of things lined up for him. My main problem is his push for technology, to the point where he's blinded to the fact that it's at the detriment of story. Of emotion. I could just as easily put James Cameron in this spot. Cameron's 3D Crusade is tiring and wrong for Hollywood in the long run.

But Lucas gets my nod for this spot because when you compare the potential of what could have been to what we got...it's sad. Yes, he rightly gave up control to Disney and that seems to have wiped the slate clean in regards to the Star Wars universe.

9. Ashton Kutcher

I'm sure Ashton Kutcher has fans out there but I'm not one of them. Never have. He's one of those actors that I'm amazed has a career in Hollywood. From That 70s Show to any one of his movies, I automatically check out as soon as he comes on screen.

He is a deep hole where charisma goes to die on the big screen and the poster child of everything that's wrong with the new age of celebs. His role selection might be the worst of any working actor out. His obnoxious behavior is obviously a front and his true nature has slowly been slipping out over the years. From his self righteous diatribe against the Village Voice to his marriage to Demi Moore, Kutcher's Hollywood expiration date passed a long, long time ago.

I won't go in on his stint on Two and a Half Men. Too easy.

8. Jay Leno

Anyone who has read my stuff here at 411mania.com knows I've never, ever been a fan or supporter of Jay Leno. I barely paid attention to his stand-up BEFORE he took over as Tonight Show host and it didn't take me very long to see he caters to an audience that I have very little in common with.

His chicken-hearted way of getting the job over David Letterman is well documented. We all watched the fiasco that was the Leno/Conan debacle. But to me, he's simply not funny or entertaining. He's perhaps the worst interviewer I've ever seen. He gets visibly agitated if a guest gets a bigger laugh, especially at his expense. Rumors of joke stealing have followed him for years.

He has his supporters now because actors need to stay on the NBC good side for the benefit of their own careers. I have a good feeling that years from now, the true legacy of Leno will come out and it won't be the one he thinks it will be.

7. Justin Theroux

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Most of you are probably scratching your head and wondering, "Who the hell is Justin Theroux?" And that's the right thing to do. Justin is a bad actor, horrible writer, and even worse human being. He's also engaged to Jennifer Aniston. The word on that is he's a star-climber and hitched his wagon to her "fame". I know this doesn't make him any different than 75% of Hollywood but, and I used this in my Fact or Fiction answer this coming Friday, he's the Hollywood cliche of knowing the right people...scratch that...he's the Hollywood cliche of knowing whose ass to kiss to keep his spot.

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6. Kevin Smith

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I know this one will upset some people but I've been saying it for years. Kevin Smith WAS a decent writer and director. For one movie. And for a very small minority of fans. His weaknesses were quickly exposed and he's held on to his fame by latching on to friends and selling himself out as much as possible to the fan boy crowd. He's the guy who likes to yell and complain to draw attention on his annoying behavior and keep you distracted from his actual work.

Kevin Smith is one of those guys you grow out of. You might be fooled by his "I'm just a regular guy, like you" routine but once you realize he doesn't have any talent you think, "He really is just like me. I can write just as well and probably direct just as well as him."

5. Lindsay Lohan

You just had to know that my friend Lindsay Lohan was going to make this list. No one captures TRAINWRECK like Lindsay. I've been writing about her in the Hollywood 5 & 1 since day one...over 5 years ago! I've always been amazed at not only how low she can go but the sheer number of chances she continues to get. It's unreal!

Just think, she began her career as a child fashion model at the age of three. She then went on to be featured on the soap opera Another World for a year when she was 10. At age 11, Lohan made her motion picture debut in Disney's remake of The Parent Trap. She then remade another Disney movie, Freaky Friday and scored another hit with Mean Girls soon after. Not content with a film career, Lohan released two albums. Her debut studio album, Speak, was certified platinum. Her second album, A Little More Personal (Raw), was certified gold. She starred in Disney's Herbie: Fully Loaded and received positive reviews for her role in A Prairie Home Companion and Bobby.

The greater the height, the farther the fall.

In 2007, two driving under the influence incidents led to Lohan being put on probation, and together with three visits to rehabilitation facilities caused the loss of several movie deals. Drug and alcohol problems follow her to this day. A theft of a necklace, missed community service, rehab center drama...she's known more for her personal life more than anything else.

Sadly, everyone loves a comeback and while she obviously has issues that need to be dealt with, she's only one strong performance at the box office away from a career rebirth.

4. TMZ/Perez Hilton

I know this one seems hypocritical because I write the Hollywood 5 & 1 that covers much of the same ground as these two. The clear distinction is, I do so in a comedic light where these two tabloids are clearly bullying their targets.

I recently spoke at CatalystCon on ‘Sex in the Media'. I pointed out that TMZ forever changed how we cover celebrity news. Before, tabloids like People magazine had tame headlines and light coverage. Then TMZ came and all bets were off. Their intrusive reporting nature has raised (or lowered) the bar in the pursuit of celeb gossip. Perez Hilton is in the same boat. But he's also guilty of using his sexual preference as a shield to anyone who dares questions or disagrees with him.

TMZ has been criticized for its usage of photographs and videos obtained from paparazzi. Questions have been raised about their aggressive and obtrusive photographers who have been called dangerous and creepy. Ken Sunshine, publicist for Ben Affleck and Leonardo DiCaprio, stated that his clients disliked the website because it has a tendency to always be negative towards celebrities when reporting on them. "I hate that they have anything to do with trying to put celebrities into the worst light possible and that they play the 'gotcha' game".

It's amazing Perez is still around, especially when you consider how many times he's been flat out wrong on a story and his obvious bias towards and against certain celeb's. His behavior during Michael Jackson's death was horrible, the underage Miley Cyrus up skirt shot was illegal and disgusting, his "outing" of celeb's is callous, and his run-in with will.i.am, where he called him a derogatory name should have been the end of him.

Of course we all are to blame in the increasing coverage of celebrities in all forms of media. If we weren't buying the magazines, watching the TV shows, and clicking on the websites, these leeches wouldn't have the power they do.

3. The Kardashians

The Kardashian family. No name will elicit more ire in Hollywood. And we can blame it all on a sex tape. Before that, Kim Kardashian was pretty much known as Paris Hilton's party friend. All that changed in February 2007, when a home sex video that Kim made with Ray J years earlier was leaked. Enter Ryan Seacrest and the rest is history.

The term famous for being famous was around before their family came onto the scene but no one else has defined it the way they do. With Kris Jenner pulling the strings, she leads the circus into town; Bruce Jenner, Khloe Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, Kim Kardashian, Rob Kardashian, Kendall Jenner, Kylie Jenner, Brody Jenner, Lamar Odom, Scott Disick, and Kanye West behind her.

What makes the Kardashian clan so easy to dislike?

Kris Jenner's near dictator-like control of her family?
Kim's sham of a marriage that lasted 72 days?
That millions view the family as some sort of role models?
A TV career built on a sex tape?
Kim being known more for her rear than her brain?
Their empire built on meanness, scandal and boundary-less living?

All of the above?

2. Warner Bros

Why is Warner Bros on my list? Easy. I'm a DC comics guy. Yes, seeing The Avengers on the big screen was cool but I felt empty knowing the odds of me getting a solid Justice League movie were slim-to-none.

It shouldn't be this way. You have two of the most popular superheroes on the planet: Superman and Batman. Right behind them is Wonder Woman, Flash, Green Lantern. You have an entire universe to play with.

But it's not meant to be because Warner Bros is not patient to sit down and create a plan. Instead, they want to fast forward the process, copy the Marvel blueprint, and wait for the money to pour in.

It's a debacle of the highest order because you'd think a company as large as Warner Bros would figure this out. Instead we're getting a mess.

And since I'm talking about it, I'm going to bring up MY suggestion. Warner Bros should start with a World's Finest trilogy. Build the franchise on their two most bankable guys. Introduce the Justice League slowly, letting the audience learn about this fantastic, large universe.

But I guess that makes to much sense to company like Warner Bros.

And finally…

1. Michael Bay

"I make movies for teenage boys. Oh, dear, what a crime."
-Michael Bay

No, Mr. Bay. The crime is your movies are like Chinese food. After a half-hour you're hungry again. It's safe to say that no film Bay has made will be considered on any "Best of..." list. Despite his box office success, which I admit is big, he has found little to no critical praise. Fine. If that's what he wants to be known for, so be it. I reserve the right to lambaste him and his movie tripe. He has consistently topped or appeared in Worst Directors lists, with good reason. I loathe the Transformers franchise. Loathe. Its success is one of the great mysteries of the world to me. I've seen each one once and have not found one thing entertaining in them.

To me, Bay represents everything that is wrong about Hollywood. The look over substance. The casting aside of plot and characterization to be replaced by explosions and the easy joke; the goal of making a dollar instead of telling a story that would challenge the audience.

Bay knows all this. He's notorious at trolling the audience and his haters interviews. Look at the Ninja Turtles controversy. He knows what he's doing. He knows what everyone is saying about him. He even apologized for Armageddon The Miami Herald recently. I won't delve into his back-and-forth he's had with a number of his actors. Suffice to say, Bay caters to the lowest bottom denominator. And if he's fine with that, I'm fine with putting him number one on my list.

There we go! Now, some of you just scanned the names without reading. Others will just post a comment, just to post a comment. A few of you will agree with my list while others will be defiant in your defending some of the people on this list. That's fine. What I'm really interested in is what YOUR list of the Worst Hollywood has to offer. An actor? A director? Maybe a movie or company? Let the hate flow! Get it out of your system and then go out and do something nice for someone.

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