Movies/TV's 3R’s 05.14.13: Community, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Ninja Turtles, Iron Man 3, More
Posted by Porfirio Diaz on 05.13.2013
From Community renewed for a fifth season, the Iron Man 3 sex tape subplot, and the first footage of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. to the return of 24, the first look at Ninja Turtles and more, 411's Porfirio Diaz breaks down the Right, wRong, and Ridiculous from the week in Movies/TV!
Welcome to Week 201 of The 3 R's for the Movie/TV world.
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Despite facing long odds all year, Community renewed for fifth season: After teetering on the edge for so many months, NBC has decided to officially renew Community for season five. Yippee! Don't hear it from me. Hear it from Joel McHale's Twitter account for the exclusive scoop.
If you want a little more sizzle in your press releases, Vulture has all the finer points. Here is what we know: the show will return with at least an order of thirteen episodes, and in accordance to NBC's fall 2013 schedule, Community will make its new season premiere on *looks at schedule* well we don't know because NBC, the brilliant network that they are, has once again delayed their return. Some things never change.
Here is the unofficial list of celebrity cameos set for Anchorman 2: Anchorman: The Legend Continues is still set to premiere on December 20th of this fine year. So really the only thing we have to keep our wits about are the number of celebrities being reported for cameos. So far the list is as follows: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Sacha Baron Cohen (shown roughhousing with crowbar-wielding Tina Fey and Amy Poehler), and last but not least – are you ready for this? – Kanye West. You could say he's kinda of a big deal. He'll need to brush up on his knowledge of whale vagina though.
And there might be even more celebrities to come!
We saw Tina Fey and Amy Poehler on-set yesterday, while numerous tipsters reported seeing Liam Neeson. Before that came Will Smith and Nicole Kidman. John C. Reilly and Jim Carrey have signed on, too. We've also heard talk that Jane Lynch, who has spent time in Atlanta filming "ACOD" and "The Three Stooges," in on the way. Honestly at this point we may start reporting who's not in the movie. - Access Atlanta
The thought of Liam Neeson having a role, any role, where he might or might not roam with a pack of prairie dogs while swigging on vodka is totally totes. It's worth noting that nothing is official until either of them comes out and point blank says they're in the movie. They may not even be onscreen for more than a couple of seconds. This is so you won't have your hopes dashed in case Kanye West doesn't appear as Vince Vaughn's father-in-law as Kayne Wes-Mantooth.
OK, so he's going to need a lot of tutoring on whale vagina.
The first footage of Marvel's S.H.I.E.L.D. is super swell: First off, this marks the official beginning of ABC's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., and hopefully, the home to many entertaining episodes in the near future. Second, Luke Cage is going to be in it, unless that's not Luke Cage putting the hurt on some baddy. I mean, he could be. J. August Richards isn't exactly spilling the beans. That's just the most popular theory going around.
Third, that'll do Joss Whedon. That'll do.
Fox brings back 24 as Event Series: What's cold: Touch –the Kiefer Sutherland drama canceled by Fox last week. What's hot: 24: Live Another Day – the Kiefer Sutherland drama that's in the middle of being revived for a limited 12-episode run. What's really hot: the return of Jack Bauer facts and Jack Bauer quotes and Jack Bauer everything.
The continuation of the series -- which spanned 192 episodes and a TV movie from 2001-10 -- will be produced by its former showrunner, Howard Gordon (Homeland). Like the original series, the reboot, dubbed 24: Live Another Day, hails from 20th Television and Imagine TV's Brian Grazer with Gordon's banner Teakwood Lane on board to co-produce. Fox will bow the limited project -- which will tell a 24-hour story over 12 episodes that jump hours -- in May 2014. - THR
So how do I feel? THERE'S NO TIME! I NEED TO FIND WHERE THE BOMB IS LOCATED! WHERE IT IS? TELL ME WHERE THE BOMB IS DAMNIT! TELL ME WHERE IT IS! ON THAT NOTE, WHERE IS MY WIFE AND DAUGHTER?! ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGGGGHHHHHH!
Parks & Recreation has been renewed for a sixth season: According to Hitfix, Parks and Recreation is getting a sixth season and I am one happy happy little boy.
Not "official" enough to you? According to Nick Offerman, "one does not ‘whittle' a canoe. One propels a Canoe with a paddle, not an oar. Parks and Rec has been picked up for Season 6" (Via Twitter).
Enough talk. Drink some Snake Juice and DANCE!
17-year-old girl invents program to prevent Twitter from spoiler alerting your favorite TV shows: So you see, there is this 17-year-old girl. She's smart. She understands the rules of alerting spoilers to millions and how such a business is frown upon according to said millions. This girl is responsible for Twivo, a program that allows Twitter users to censor tweets containing mentions of any kind of spoilers you don't want to be subjected to – whether it be mentions of TV show names or character names from those shows. I don't use the word "hero" lightly, but you, Jennie Lamere, are the greatest hero in Internet history.
Lamere took her sub-category, "best use of sync-to-broadcast" and then the overall "best in show", which earned her swag including iPad minis and an Apple TV. She beat out professional developers sent by the event's sponsors, including ESPN, the Echo Nest, and Klout. She came up with the idea for Twivo the night before the competition, and it took her 10 hours and 150 lines of code to complete. It works as an extension to the Google Chrome browser: A user can type in the key words she would like to block, and for how long, and make those Tweets disappear. In the screenshot below, Twivo has blocked out Twitter references to one of Lamere's favorite TV shows, Lifetime's "Dance Moms" (the Twitter accounts that are more prominent, like the official "Dance Moms" account, automatically appear larger.) Once a user is done blocking the show, the Tweets reappear. Lamere says the program is still in demo form and won't be ready for another two or three weeks, but she's already been approached by Furious Minds, a tech company that intends to help her market the final product. - Mother Jones
Here is a screenshot of Twivo in action:
Oh wait she watches Dance Moms? Yuck. She's luckily she's the new Internet hero or else I would find her taste in television programming quite revolving.
*goes back to watching 23-straight hours of Celebrity Apprentice*
ABC has officially canceled Happy Endings: Welps, it was inevitable. Despite a loyal following and the network sort-of kind-of rallying behind it, the show was put out for good. No use crying over spilled milk now.
TNT has also officially canceled Southland: Oh for @*$% #@ %#@^ @$.
The critically praised cop show has been a source of pride for TNT brass who rescued the series after NBC dropped it before Season 2. "TNT has made the difficult decision not to renew Southland for another season," TNT said in a statement. "We are enormously proud of Southland, which stands as one of the best police dramas ever made." - Deadline
One could argue that five seasons of quality television is good enough. Of course the other side could also argue that Southland is nowhere near the point of wearing out its welcome and still has much to give in terms of producing quality television entertainment. I'm on the side throwing ketchup-filled water balloons at the other side – the ones thinking Southland has gone as far as it can go. Eat condiment, French fry!
Obviously this is sad news for fans of either or both shows, and the only hope now is for another network to swoop in and save them. FX, perhaps? Happy Endings and Southland is the perfect fit for the network, and if possible, FX should make a grab at them before it's too late. *hint hint* FX *wink wink*
The sad saga of Lindsay Lohan continues: I hereby announce the ban on all Lindsay Lohan stories officially lifted. Because there are important stuff out there to cover and Lindsay Lohan's desire to leave the Betty Ford Center for cutting off her supply of Adderall is important stuff.
Lindsay Lohan will be sent to jail if she decides to bolt from the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage, Calif., RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned.
As we reported earlier, a terrified Lohan is threatening to quit the facility and move to another rehab after doctors refused to supply her with the drug Adderall. - Radar Online
Once upon a time there were talks of a Sailor Moon live action movie where Joss Whedon was presumed to direct, Jennifer Garner presumed to be the main villain, and Lindsay Lohan rumored to be the desired lead. These rumors were made about a decade ago, when Lohan was, I don't know, an eight out of 10 on the "would bang" scale. So imagine, somewhere across the alternative dimensional plane is screenshots of early 2000s Lindsay Lohan dressed in a Sailor Moon outfit. What we have instead: 2013 Lindsay Lohan dressed in a Sailor Moon outfit.
Hmm…so I guess it wasn't that important after all.
Don't fall prey to these Ninja Turtle set videos: The first wave of set videos has been released, a little after the latest set images hit the net last week. Those images featured motion capture Turtle suit guys and Megan Fox as April O'Neil bouncing on a free trampoline. Only Michael Bay would have the one prominent female character in the show's history bouncing around in a trampoline. I'll give him props, though, for coming up with this ingenious marketing design. "Coming 2014: MEGAN FOX BOUNCE SEX BOOBS NIPPLE SLIP UNDERWEAR SHOTS in Ninja Turtles." More like Fappa Faptles, amirite? June 6, 2014, the release of that version of the movie – the day after, the porn parody with James Deen as Casey Jones.
We still have a while to go before then, which means we will dine on Turtle news until its messy CGI release next year. For example, the videos posted below. Caution: possible spoilers ahoy.
Oh sure, it's looks kinda OK-looking now, but wait until Michael Bay digs his grubby little hands into it. Then you'll see. Then you'll all see. If I am wrong and the film turns out to be decent, then I will eat this straw hat…that's made of chocolate…and nougat.
Ms. Marvel might have a movie out long before Wonder Woman does: Hidden within THR's spotlight on Robert Downey Jr. – the world's most famous blockbuster actor at this moment according to me and like a bunch of other people who share similar feelings – is project talks of a few Phase 3 movies in development based on Blade, Iron Fist, and Ms. Marvel.
I would like this now. Right now.
Marvel has a writing program it uses as a concept generator and has scripts for Blade and Ms. Marvel features, for example. Doctor Strange, Iron Fist, Black Panther and The Runaways are other projects on the horizon. The company slowly has been reacquiring licenses to characters it lost during the 1990s, snapping up Blade, Ghost Rider, Power Man and Daredevil in the past year alone. - THR
So to set the record straight, Marvel has a concept generator assumingly used to create scripts such as one based on Ms. Marvel. Meanwhile, Warner Bros. continues to let the idea of a Wonder Woman movie rot in the hot sun. Point: Marvel.
First draft of Iron Man 3 had a Pepper Potts sex tape subplot: If you hasn't already known, Iron Man 3 is well-liked. Flaws? Yes. Quite a few, but I felt my $10.50 was well spent. Very well spent.
Oh, and that early drafts of the script called for a Pepper Potts sex tape with Aldrich Killian because of course they…no wait what's this about a Pepper Potts sex tape in Iron Man 3 again?
"Pepper, in one draft, slept with [Aldrich] Killian because he was so pheromonially enhanced with this extremis that she couldn't resist him and she was angry with Tony and so she sleeps with Killian and then he makes a sex tape and broadcasts it in Home Depot." - Indiewire
You can listen to the full hour plus podcast with Shane Black for all the juicy little details, plus more Iron Man 3 talk. All I have to add are these two things: 1) Broadcasting sex tapes in Home Depot is the new American Dream; 2) @$$-$ault-n-Pepa. Character symbols in sex tape titles are also hot. Thank you.
The mother on How I Met Your Mother has finally been revealed: 184 episodes later, HIMYM has revealed its titular character and Ted Mosby's wife in the season 8 finale. FINALLY!
Spoiler alert #2: she's the most famous people on Earth right now.
So there's going to be a new Adult Swim cartoon about Mike Tyson solving mysteries with a talking pigeon for a partner: LOLWUT?
In the new animated comedy series Mike Tyson Mysteries, Mike Tyson is taking the fight from the boxing ring to the streets… by solving mysteries! Armed with a magical tattoo on his face and a trusty associate by his side — a talking pigeon — if you have a problem that needs solving, Iron Mike is in your corner. The series incorporates live-action appearances featuring Mighty Mike himself, and the gloves come off as the former heavyweight champ and his fowl-mouthed partner gear up for weekly adventures as they put unsolved mysteries — like how to defeat a super computer at chess or why a famous author/werewolf can't finish his novel — down for the count. Animated quarter-hour from Warner Bros Animation. - Variety
Best cartoon since The Hair Bear Bunch? Best cartoon since The Hair Bear Bunch.
I deprived you of adorable animal videos in last week's throwback column, so this week's GAAVOFW is a twofer.
Headline: Passive aggressive cat becomes passive aggressive on the idea of wearing a Thundershirt, a vest that's supposed to comfort pets during thunderstorms. As you can see, it works – in theory. In theory, communism works. In theory.
Not sure if cat trolling or just drank a bottle of cat scotch.
This bonus video is about an incredibly adorable baby duck trying to stay awake in math class. Ah, that brings backs a lot of high school memories.
Mattress Jousting (50.72%) narrowly defeats Pink Convertible Car Crash (49.28%) in the GIF fight from two weeks ago. More specifically, Mattress Jousting won by a single vote. This puts it right up there among the most important single vote victories of our generation. Among such includes Richard Nixon's head winning the 3000 Earth Presidential Election and Reese Witherspoon's eventual victory over prime candidate Chris Klein for school body president.
The little words I have left do not begin to compare the amazement of these two GIFs. So little that...oh I guess that's it.
Last word: To those who live somewhere in Orange County, CA, your task is to find a Taco Bell that is selling the new Waffle taco and buy a dozen of them. Meet me under the Golden Gate Bridge tomorrow at oh sixteen hundred. Come alone and with plenty of syrup.