The Gratuitous B-Movie Column 9.23.13 Issue #274: The Scare-A-Con Film Festival Edition
Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz on 09.23.2013
In this issue I take a look at some movies I saw at the Scare-A-Con Film Festival, plus some TV Quick Hits, two more batches of Things to Watch Out For This Week, a new B-Movie Babe is named, a new Douchebag of the Week is crowned, and more!
The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Issue #274: Scare-A-Con Film Festival 2013 Edition
Hello, everyone, and welcome once again to the internets movie review column that has never been attacked by a coked up badger wielding a flamethrower, The Gratuitous B-Movie Column, and I am your host Bryan Kristopowitz. In this issue, issue number two hundred and seventy four, I do a series of mini-reviews of movies I managed to see at the Scare-A-Con Film Festival last weekend. The screenings were part of the Scare-A-Con Horror and Sci-Fi Fan Convention, which is held every fall at the Turning Stone Casino in Verona, New York. I think this was the first year the convention actually held a film festival, although I may be wrong about that. I had a blast the whole time I was there, although I wish I had taken the entire weekend off and not tried to work at my crappy paying job while also carving out time to attend the convention. It's a scenario that will destroy you.
So, here are my thoughts on the movies I managed to see while attending Scare-A-Con. I saw a mix of feature length movies and short films, and while I missed a few minutes of a few of them, I saw enough of those ones to form an honest opinion about them. I didn't really see any truly bad movies, so that's a plus.
Scare-A-Con Film Festival 2013
Feature Length Movies
I missed the first couple of minutes of this evil supernatural force movie (or evil ghost movie if you prefer that description), but I don't think I missed anything crucial in terms of the story set up. It's a movie about a "professional fortune teller" (Samantha, as played by Michele Feren) who ends up experiencing weird beard supernatural hooha in her deliberately creepy home. The home is creepy because it's filled with her dead ex-boyfriend's stuff and she just can't get rid of anything. You can tell as soon as she enters the house that the house isn't exactly her, and you just know that it's going to matter in terms of the story soon enough.
The movie, directed and co-written by Jon Binkowski, moves along at a brisk pace, and there are some great moments of suspense (the "spoiled milk" scene is excellent, and the bit where Samantha takes photographs of herself in front of shiny surfaces will have you on the edge of your seat). The performances are all top notch, too, even the ones that we see via computer screen (there's quite a bit if video chat stuff going on in this movie). The CGI special effects are also quite good (so few low budget horror movies are able to pull that kind of stuff off). I also want to commend the movie for creating its own fake TV shows. You don't see that all that often (I was fooled by the home gardening show snippet. I thought that was a real show until the movie was over).
The only thing that may grate on some viewers is the repetition of the "I love you/I love you more" lines from Samantha and her best friend Maya (Tracy Wiu). It helps build suspense throughout the movie, but there are times where it seems as though the movie is relying too much on that phrase (why can't anyone say anything else? I mean, if they're going to say it again and again why the heck isn't "I love you/I love you more" the name of the movie?). I liked the overuse of the phrase, but I can see why some people might say "Get on with it!" after hearing for the third time.
The movie could probably stand to lose a few minutes just so it can go by even faster, but I'm not sure what if anything the movie should lose. And while I'm not usually a fan of this kind of movie, I enjoyed The Visitant quite a bit and can't wait to see it again.
Rating: Good stuff all around.
The Haunting of Pearson Place
I missed the first part of this supernatural shocker, too, but, like with The Visitant, I don't think I missed anything important. It's a movie about a yuppie type couple buying a rundown house out in the middle of nowhere in order to turn it into a bed and breakfast. You get the sense that, even if the main couples involved in this scheme had any real business savvy, their business partnership wouldn't last all that long because they all have serious personal problems. Basically, everyone seems to hate everyone else.
So, yeah, everyone seems to argue all of the time, and the place they bought is clearly haunted. Weird topless women seem to show up all of the time, no one in the nearby town thinks the couples will last (the old woman with the weird kid is terrifying. You'd think that the couples would have just decided to leave the house behind after meeting her), and for some odd reason Joe Estevez keeps showing up. And when I say he keeps showing up I mean he keeps showing up out of the blue to say creepy things no one picks up on. They're confused as to why he's there, sure, but that's about as far as they take things. It's far more important to worry about drinking problems and the usual strained married couple stuff.
The best thing about this movie is the performances. The four main actors are excellent; they're all clearly professional actors and it shows. Even when things start to get weird and ridiculous they're able to sell it (my favorite performance is that of Regen Wilson, who plays potential alcoholic and full on asshole Michael. Every scene he's in is electric). And Estevez just creeps me out every time he opens his mouth (he sounds exactly like his brother Martin Sheen, and that brown leather coat is scary as hell). The endless arguing is also something to behold; these people are just clueless as hell. Even when the town inspector Jim Shoemaker (an excellent Mick McGuire) shows up as a zombie who keeps saying the same things over and over again no one seems to want to do anything beyond telling Shoemaker to get out of the house. They should be getting out of the house.
The movie is brought down a notch by less than convincing CGI special effects (the fog and rain look terrible) and some liberal nudity that just seems out of place. The movie tries to be sleazy in its exploration of the house's sordid back-story but every topless scene just comes off as awkward instead of creepy. The movie should probably try to limit itself to one good, creepy topless scene and go from there. That probably won't happen as the movie is already on DVD, but, hey, there's nothing wrong with thinking about a re-edit at some point in the future.
The Haunting of Pearson Place is definitely worth checking out. Track it down.
Rating: Good stuff.
Dying 2 Meet U
I missed the beginning of this low budget horror movie, too (anyone else sensing a pattern here?), but, like the other two, I don't think I missed anything all that important (I was able to follow the movie). Dying 2 Meet U is about a group of young women who go to France to be a part of a "reality show" where the big prize is marrying a rich, scarred up weirdo (the guy wears a white mask and sits in front of a computer screen for most of the movie). Like you would expect with a reality show setting, the women all live in the same house and interact with one another in the typical reality show way (they all hate one another). Little do the women know that when they are eliminated from the game they are also eliminated from the world (the rich weirdo, while watching the women, pushes a button on a console that sends a message to his henchman to go kill the woman he doesn't want to look at anymore).
Dying 2 Meet U doesn't feel like it's finished. The editing is a little too choppy, there were sound issues (that could have been the DVD the festival used), and there are long stretches where nothing interesting happens. The actors range from relatively polished to amateurish, but the mix works (everyone has a presence). The kill scenes are uneven, where some are brilliantly gory and others are just disturbing. I do want to commend the director, Branislav R. Tatalovic, for the movie's nudity. There's a wonderful hot tub scene that features some mild lesbian making out, which is always fun when it involves fuller women. You just don't see that kind of thing all that often.
The movie also has a gnarly soundtrack chock full of heavy metal. I'm more of a fan of original themes when it comes to slasher type movies, but the metal songs work here (instead of sudden loud noises there are sudden loud sections of kick ass metal). If the movie ever gets a wide DVD release I would like to see a companion soundtrack, or at least a section of the DVD special features that's all about the music. I would buy it just for that.
I'm also not too keen on the ending. It makes sense, but I would have liked to have seen something a little more hopeful. And by hopeful I mean real room for a sequel. I can see this as a potential franchise deal.
It's uneven and has some issues, but I liked what I saw from Dying 2 Meet U. It should find its audience given time.
Rating: Uneven, but watchable
This Canadian sci-fi comedy, which won the festival's Best Picture award, was easily the best movie I saw (it's also the only feature length one I managed to see from beginning to end). It stars the great Billy Boyd as the leader of a satellite station that orbits Earth, picking up various chunks of space garbage. During one such salvage operation, Boyd's crew picks up a device that, in the wrong hands, could destroy the universe. On top of that, the station has been invaded by a weird beard alien in the form of a rubber duck voiced by George Takei. So Boyd and his crew, one of which is an alien robot, have to figure out how to save the universe, save Earth, and stop the rubber duck. That's essentially what's going on. Essentially.
From what I've been able to find out on the internets, Space Milkshake has been aired on Canadian TV a few times, but it hasn't been released on DVD or appeared anywhere else outside of the movie festival world. That's shocking, as the movie is polished, funny, and has cult classic written all over it. I bet it could find a wide audience with a major theatrical release or a major TV/DVD release. It really has that potential.
The actors are all amazing, especially Boyd. The man is willing to lick an armpit and get his ass kicked by a giant foam monster; he deserves all kinds of accolades. And the people behind the movie's special effects, both the CGI stuff and the practical FX, deserve all kinds of awards. This movie has some of the best special effects I've ever seen in a low budget sci-fi comedy.
And the space station set is hilarious to contemplate. It forces everyone onboard to live on a specific schedule (you must eat when it tells you to eat, you must sleep when it tells you to sleep, you must play board games when it tells you to play board games, etc.), it only supplies sandwiches to the crew (ham sandwiches are the most valuable foodstuffs on the ship), and there is one section that everyone seems to trip over. You would think that someone would fix that, or at least put up a sign.
Space Milkshake is a soon to be classic sci-fi comedy. It deserves a wide audience and a chance to find that audience. Hopefully the movie will be out on some kind of readily available DVD soon, because I want to see it again. And if Space Milkshake is playing at a film festival near you make an effort to see it. It's well worth the expense.
Space Milkshake: see it, see it, see it!
Rating: Awesome. A classic. See it now!
I missed the first part of this short film, so I didn't get a chance to see the set up. It appears to be some sort of slasher type movie, with young people being stalked by a guy in a weird looking old man mask. When I walked in to the screening room I thought I was watching a movie about an escaped mental patient who thought he was a judge. I know the killer is an escaped mental patient. I don't think the killer thinks he's a judge.
The editing is a little choppy, but the movie has good sound and the director, Connor Strader (he also wrote the screenplay and performs in the movie as the killer), manages to build some decent suspense with each kill. The acting is above average, too, which is always a plus with low budget movies.
I'm also a fan of the movie's lighting scheme. There's a definite "weird funhouse" feel to the movie, especially when the story moves inside. If and when this short gets expanded I would like to see more of that kind of weirdness. I would also like to see a little more blood. The kills shouldn't be cruel, but they should be slightly nastier. Slightly nastier.
Definitely worth checking out, if and when you get a chance to see it.
Maid of Horror
This short film, from Australia, is fucking messed up. It's about a crazed woman, Emma (Stacie Mason), who decides to kill just about everyone at her best friend's wedding so she can then wed her best friend's groom (Mark, as played by Liam Murphy). At first I thought Emma just wanted to ruin the wedding by killing everyone, sort of a "if I can't have him no one can" kind of thing. I didn't expect to see Emma try to go through with actually marrying Mark. I mean, what if Mark tries to resist? And what if he drinks the poisoned punch? Emma takes a big gamble there.
I am curious, though, as to how she managed to get everyone's dead body in the "correct" position for the ceremony at the end. Did she force Mark and the minister to put everyone in the right spot? I seriously doubt that she got everyone to move to their seats on their own. And how did she know that everyone would start to die at the same exact time? Wouldn't the poisoned punch work differently on each person? Did she tell everyone in a deleted scene that she would give everyone the antidote if they all listened to her?
I'm probably over thinking this short film. I mean, the whole thing makes sense if you're willing to believe that absolutely no one would try to subdue Emma as soon as she revealed herself to be a nut job killer then you can believe that every wedding guest would essentially die at the same time and in the right spot.
This is a damn good effort. Excellent, even. I can't wait to see what writer-director Caitlin Koller has in store for the world next.
Rating: Excellent and messed up
I'm not sure I completely understand what this Italian short film is about. I get that it's about a sort of haunted apartment room and that once people go into it strange stuff starts happening, but I have a feeling that there's more to it. At 17 minutes, Apartment 15 is probably too long and too ambitious in terms of its cast (imdb shows four actors but it seemed like there were more than that). Cut out two characters and make the movie a lean and mean 10 minutes and perhaps the story would be a little more memorable.
I do want to comment the movie's special effects, though. They are futuristic and creepy (am I the only one who had flashbacks to a-ha's "Take On Me" music video?). That kind of thing is always cool.
Overall, I liked Apartment 15 but I would also like to see it again, just to see if I did, in fact, miss something important.
Rating: Good, but confusing
She's Having a Baby!
This Australian short, from directors Chris and Robert Smellin, is creepy and disturbing but feels incomplete. The central action of the piece, a woman kidnapping a man and holding him hostage until she gets pregnant by him, is scary and messed up, but we should really see how the woman, brilliantly played by Wendy Bos, manages to capture her prey. We know that she watches them, but how does she get them into her secluded house without anyone noticing? Does she have an assistant?
And does she try to seduce them before she drugs and kidnaps them, or is this a sort of Saw deal where she just shows up and rams a needle into their necks? Perhaps that should be the next stage of this; either in short form (a short film horror franchise? Has anyone ever tried creating one of those?) or in long form (I bet this idea would make for a cracking horror thriller. It would sort of be like Misery but nastier, creepier, more horrific).
And then there's the baby that Bos' Jenny eventually has. Will that child have a normal life, or will it be as messed up as its mother? I'm fairly certain that Jenny has other major psychological problems. I have no idea what those problems are/could be, but I know she has them. You have to think about this, too: will she ever try to marry a man and have a husband? Can she have that kind of relationship? I'd like to see that explored, too.
The only thing I really didn't like about this short film was its abrupt ending. I know that it has to end at some point, and it's not like the ending doesn't make sense. I just wish there was a little more to the ending than "woman stabs guy with knife and he dies."
It just needs to be expanded. I want to see more, more, more!
Rating: Creepy and should definitely be expanded. Good stuff.
Edward Lee's the Bighead
I'm not sure you can really call this a "short film," it's more like a three scene demonstration of what the writer-director Michael Ling can do with the material (the movie is based on a notorious novel by Edward Lee). It has tremendous production values, excellent special effects makeup (the Bighead monster is especially awesome looking), and some tight direction. Ling clearly knows how to handle a straight up dialogue scene (the sequences in the bar are fun, breezy, and they get out the necessary information), how to create a nasty and suspenseful sequence (the Bighead flashback and the roadside rape scenes are top notch and horrendous at the same time), and how to be a cinematic sleazebag (and I say with all respect and admiration). I'm always down for a movie with an ass kicking minister in it.
So where is the rest of the movie? This thing feels incomplete, and that's a huge problem. I wasn't the only person in the screening room digging the movie only to be let down by the fact that there isn't more to it. There needs to be more, more, and more, so the horror movie world can bask in the nasty glory that can be The Bighead. And I know the horror movie world will revel in that glory if and when we ever get to see a bigger, fuller movie.
And that's what I want to see. I want to see more of The Bighead. Is it going to happen? Anyone out there know? Anyone at all?
Rating: Potentially awesome, but we need to see more
Some random Scare-A-Con Thoughts
- Debbie Rochon is one of the nicest people in the world. I was nervous as hell when I walked up to her table to get an autograph and she instantly put me at ease. Instantly. And since she actually seems to enjoy doing these convention things, that's a plus, too. I will definitely cherish my Alien Vengeance autograph forever.
- Fred "The Hammer" Williamson is coolness personified. He just is. You can feel it just walking past him. Greg "The Hammer" Valentine is pretty cool, too. They should have been near one another, or at the same table. It really would have been "hammer time." Ha.
- Ernie Hudson and Tony Todd are very cool guys, especially Hudson as he actually wore his Ghostbusters costume while signing at his table. Jake Busey probably would have gotten my business if he had been wearing his costume from Starship Troopers or one of his outfits from Shasta McNasty but, alas, that didn't happen. Something to think about for the future.
- Unless a celebrity is guaranteed to draw a massive crowd and it makes sense to put him or her in a separate room to control said massive crowd, no one should be allowed to be closed in by a curtain set up so people can't see them when that celebrity is put on the floor with everyone else. No one is above being seen next to the vampire Santa. No one.
- Nightforce Video kicks ass.
- The horror convention world needs to find a way to get vendors and celebrities selling stuff to offer more hats. T-shirts and posters are cool and everything, but people like to wear hats, too. I'm just saying.
The Gratuitous B-Movie Column: The Facebook Page!
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And please check out my interview with director Brett A. Hart about the Ain't It Cool internet show and more!
Things to Watch Out For This Week: Part 1
- Iron Man 3: It was the biggest hit of the summer movie season, and, to me at least, it's the best of the three Iron Man movies. It has an actual plot. Writer-director Shane Black did an amazing job. I was worried about him. Could he handle making a big special effects movie? Thankfully, he did.
- Family Guy Volume 11: I have all of the other Family Guy boxed sets so I'll definitely have to get this one. It's what you do when you're a Family Guy nerd. Ha.
- V/H/S/2: I haven't seen the first one yet, so I'll have to see that one before I see this one. But the trailer for this is fantastic, so that just makes me want to get on top of this franchise as soon as I can. How long will it take for a V/H/S/3 to come out?
- Prince of Darkness: Collector's Edition: Yet another John Carpenter classic getting the special edition treatment by the fine folks at Shout! Factory. Prince of Darkness isn't all that scary on first viewing, at least it wasn't for me. The second viewing, though, blew my mind. Watch this in-between The Thing and In the Mouth of Madness (if you're in the mood for Carpenter's "Apocalypse Trilogy," that is).
- Blood of Redemption: Yet another low budget action flick starring the great Dolph Lundgren. That's all you really need to know. It really doesn't matter what it's about. It's Dolph Lundgren, man.
- I Spit on Your Grave 2: This is the sequel to the remake, not a sequel to the original. I haven't seen the remake yet, but I have heard good things (bad things, too. I've heard the remake compared to the Saw movies, which is a badge of shame in some circles for some reason). Definitely worth a rental at some point after seeing the remake.
The Gratuitous B-Movie Column B-Movie Theme of the Week
TV Quick Hits
- Sons of Anarchy Season 6 thoughts: Season 6 is two episodes in and I'm annoyed with how the show wants me to be suspicious of Lee Toric, the vengeance seeking retired U.S. marshal played by Donal Logue. Sure, he may want revenge for the death of his sister at the hands of Otto, but he's, well, weird. He's a drug addict, he has weird, drug filled naked freak outs in his hotel room. He's admitted to not giving a shit about the law as a lawman (he said that's what made him such a great lawman). He's also willing to forge official documents (what a bastard!). And there's no telling what he plans on doing with that prostitute.
Look, Kurt Sutter and everyone else who wants me to "identify" or root for the SAMCRO motorcycle gang. SAMCRO, as interesting as they may be, are scumbags. They deserve to be destroyed. Whatever criminally underhanded weirdness you try to give to SAMCRO's enemies, SAMCRO is always going to be worse than that. Always. That's why I rooted for the Neo-Nazis in season two, for the Profiler, and for notorious drug dealer Damon Pope. And that's why Lee Toric is my new TV hero.
Now, I know that he's probably going to die in some lame ass fashion at some point this season, or end up in prison along with CCH Pounder's character for some "extra-legal" whatever, but I hope he gets to take out a few of the SAMCRO gang before he goes down.
Wouldn't it be awesome if Toric survived and got his own spin-off? That show would kick ass.
Will Clay survive in the joint? Will Nero have a major blow up with Jax at some point this season? Will the school shooting being even more heat on the gang? And will Bobby go full on "nomad?" And what the heck is the Irish going to do? How far are they going to take their "you will continue to run guns for us" threat?
- Dads thoughts: The only real problem I have with this Seth MacFarlane produced sitcom is that it isn't "fast" enough. The jokes need to come quicker, the acting needs to be amped up, and the overall speed of the show needs to increase. I would suggest that the show's creative team look at Adam Green's Holliston on Fearnet. That show is one of the cheapest looking sitcoms I've ever seen, but it goes by quickly, the jokes are fast, and everyone seems to be having a good time. That's what Dads needs. Urgency. And less of a slightly more expensive Tyler Perry's House of Payne vibe to it.
At the moment I understand Peter Riegert's character and why he's so politically incorrect, but I don't quite get Martin Mull's character. Why is he so against everything? Isn't he a little too laid back to be so racist? Shouldn't he be a little more amped up?
I like the show so far. It's a little too slow for my tastes, but the jokes are funny, and that's half the battle. The show needs to be faster. Faster, faster, faster.
- Brooklyn Nine-Nine thoughts: Every article I read about this new Fox sitcom seemed to be about whether or not Andre Braugher could be funny. He's a dramatic actor through and through. He is the living embodiment of onscreen intensity. Will he be able to crack jokes and keep up with natural wise ass Andy Samberg? My personal worry was all about Samberg. Would he be a charming wise ass, or would he be a smarmy douchebag?
Braugher is awesome on the show, and, thankfully, Samberg isn't a douchebag. I am worried about the cases Samberg and Braugher take on, though. Are murder investigations all that funny? Wouldn't it be better if the cases the team took on were a little less high stakes? If they were a little less serious, it would make the office hijinks seem a little less ridiculous and inappropriate. Am I the only one seeing this?
I hope the show remains silly and doesn't try to get serious. I don't think it will, but I just want to put that thought out there. Sitcoms try to do that kind of thing sometimes.
The Gratuitous B-Movie Column B-Movie Babe of the Week: Debbie Rochon
Things to Watch Out For This Week: Part 2
- Redemption: This is yet another British Jason Statham movie, meaning, I guess, that it's not as action packed as his "American" movies? Statham is a star, so why shouldn't his movies, regardless of where they're made, get a wide release? I believe this movie got a small theatrical release and one of those Video On Demand things. Anyone out there see this? Anyone at all? And does anyone know why this movie's original title was Hummingbird?
- Room 237: This is the critically acclaimed documentary examination of what some people think Stanley Kubrick's The Shining means. From what I've read some of the ideas are pretty bizarre. A definite must see regardless.
- Inbred: This is apparently some sort of ultra gory British horror comedy thing. I love the DVD cover, and the trailer is a hoot. Definitely worth a rental.
- Silent But Deadly: Jason Mewes and the great William Sadler are apparently in this horror comedy thing. It looks ridiculous, but at the same time watchable. Rentable. Does anyone know why imdb lists this as a "TV movie?" Is it Canadian?
- Psycho II/Psycho III: Two more Shout! Factory special editions of 1980's horror classics. I never thought I would say that about any of the Psycho sequels. They were never considered bad movies, but then they were never considered classics, either. They were always there in the horror section of the video store, though. Someone was renting them.
- Arise of the Snake Woman: I really don't know much about this obviously low budget horror flick beyond what's in the trailer. It almost looks like an "adult" movie, although I don't think it actually is. I mean, the fine folks at Phase 4 Films are not in that business, are they? Love those pointy teeth.
Starting next week:The 6th Annual The Gratuitous B-Movie Column October Slasher Movie Celebration!
The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Douchebag of the Week
This week, The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Douchebag of the Week goes to the current Republican Congress, for once again trying to defund Obamacare. The Republicans just refuse to accept that the Affordable Care Act is law, it was legally passed by a previous Congress, and it was deemed constitutional by the Supreme Court. The Republicans also know that they don't control the Senate or the White House, so there is absolutely no way in hell the ACA is going to be repealed. So why do they continue to try to get rid of it?
Because the Republican Party and its teabagger overlords hate Obama. They just can't stand the fact that he was re-elected. That's the only reason they keep trying to get rid of the ACA. And that's a disgrace.
Why not try to improve the law? Why not try to "fix" it, if that's what needs to happen, so it works?
And then there's the Koch brothers right wing front group Generation Opportunity, for its hilarious "opt out of Obamacare" ad campaign. Because, you know, Obamacare is all about replacing doctors with scary government bureaucrats who will refuse you care (or, in the case of the commercial below, force your vagina open, which is weird because that's exactly what the religiously insane conservatives have said they want to do in order to prevent women from having abortions).
Wouldn't it be great if the Koch clan also put together an ad campaign against the current health care system, where just about all health care decisions are made by insurance company yahoos?
And finally there's Georgia Congressperson Phil Gingrey, for whining about "only" making $172,000 a year. You can read all of the sordid details here. I love how the Congressperson thinks that he's "stuck" in Congress, and his aides can just leave his office and go make big money as lobbyists. Like he isn't going to do that immediately after leaving/being thrown out of office. I mean, it's not like he's going to be making much more money as a Senator, if he is elected to that office.
What a douchebag.
NASCAR and Indycar thoughts
Jesus, you miss a week and all kinds of stuff happens. The NASCAR Chase for the Sprint Cup is field is expanded to 13 because of an alleged cheating scandal (I still don't see how what Michael Waltrip Racing did is cheating. It's underhanded, sure, but I wouldn't call it cheating), Roger Penske is accused of cheating, Juan Pablo Montoya decides to leave NASCAR to go race for Penske in Indycar, and the Baltimore Grand Prix goes bust because the race organizers can't come up with a date (or the organizers are broke and the city doesn't want to stage the event without assurances that they'll get paid).
I didn't see any racing last week, but I did get to see the Sprint Cup race at Loudon. Holy hooey I didn't expect to see Matt Kenseth in victory lane for his seventh win of the year, especially since he tends to blow chunks at Loudon. I thought Martin Truex (I don't think he'll leave MWR unless Napa deices to stick with him specifically somewhere else) or Brad Keselowski would be going for the win. But Kenseth and Greg Biffle? Never in a million years.
The Whelen Modified Series race on Saturday was a blast. As usual, there was passing all over the track and it was difficult to pick who would win. That last lap pass by Todd Szegedy on Donny Lia was amazing. I mean, they touched but no one ended up in the wall. Hopefully NBC Sports actually shows more modified races when it gets NASCAR full time in 2015. People will watch.
Dover is up next for Sprint Cup and the Nationwide Series. Jimmie Johnson has vowed that he will win at Dover. If he qualifies first he may run away with the whole thing. He tends to do that at Dover.
The big news in Indycar, outside of losing Baltimore, is Montoya's return to the series with driving for Penske. I would have rather seen him stay in NASCAR and drive the #78, but if he has to go back to Indycar it might as well be with one of the top teams. Andretti Autosport looked like it really wanted Montoya, but then it couldn't find enough sponsorship for the full season, and Montoya has said that he doesn't want to be in a situation where he has to bring money. Penske hasn't announced who or what will be sponsoring Montoya in a third Penske car, but I'm going to assume that Penske has a major, unannounced deal in place. There is no way Penske wants to spend his own money.
The Indycar 2014 schedule should be out soon. Will there be any new tracks? What will replace Baltimore? Will anything replace Baltimore? Will we finally get at least one more oval on the schedule?
Well, I think that'll be about it for this issue. B-movies rule, always remember that.
If there's anything you want to see reviewed here in this column, feel free to offer a comment below or send me an e-mail. I'm always on the lookout for new stuff to watch.
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