A Bloody Good Time 10.03.13: Horror Hero Knockout Tournament - Round 1, Part 2
Posted by Joseph Lee on 10.03.2013
Blade battles Sidney Prescott from Scream, Laurie Strode from Halloween takes on Seth Gecko from From Dusk 'Til Dawn and more as 411's Joseph Lee continues round one of the Horror Hero Knockout Tournament!
Opening Logo courtesy of Benjamin J. Colón (Soul Exodus)
Welcome to A Bloody Good Time.
Our second annual Horror Knockout Tournament is here, this time pitting the greatest heroes in horror history against each other to see who the best is. If you were here for the Horror Villain tournament, you saw that Freddy Krueger won the finals, beating Jason Voorhees in a rematch by only five votes.
For this tournament I not only removed characters that you rightfully pointed out went against my own rules, but I tried to add as many of your requests as possible. I ranked them in terms of importance and my own preference and then seeded them accordingly.
This is a 32-character tournament with horror heroes, only. To qualify they had to survive an entire film and actually take a proactive stance against the forces of evil, as opposed to just surviving. For example (and as you pointed out to me because I wasn't thinking), Damien Karras is very heroic...but he doesn't survive The Exorcist. Heroic sacrifice doesn't cut it here. We want the baddest and the strongest.
You can choose who wins here completely. Outside of the ranking, my opinion means nothing. You can vote however you want, for whatever reasons you want. If you are one of those that just wants to vote for who you think would win a fight, do that. If you want to vote based on your favorite, do that. As long as you pick one over the other, it doesn't really matter your reason. It's completely up to you.
This isn't really a rule, but I would assume that with all good guys (or mostly good guys) in this tournament, these wouldn't be fights to the death. What possible reason would give Ash or Ripley the motivation needed to kill each other? That's just my take on it, and I'll be doing "strategy" write-ups accordingly.
Here's your bracket:
Let's get going with Round 1, Part 1:
Ash Williams (#2 Seed)
First Appearance: The Evil Dead (1987) Number of Appearances: Four. Quote: "Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?"
Jack Brooks (#31)
First Appearance: Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer (2008) Number of Appearances One. Quote: "He's yellin at me in Chinese. I don't even fuckin speak Chinese. So you know, I punched him."
Jack Brooks and Ash are a lot alike. They're both regular guys fighting monstrous forces while being completely unsuited for the job. Think about it, Ash is kind of a doofus. That's why we love him. That and he can still get the job done with a witty one-liner. Jack Brooks is kind of the same way, as his creators no doubt watched Army of Darkness on more than one occasion. Brooks is just a sort of newer version, who had his own really fun movie that sadly still doesn't have a sequel.
If these two got into a fight I imagine it would involve a lot of trash talking. I also suspect the fighting wouldn't happen for a long time because of the trash talking. It's a typical battle of youth vs experience. Ash has been doing this for a lot longer than Jack has, but Jack probably has more energy. Of course, if you're just voting on who you like better, Ash has three full movies and Jack has one.
Will Jack Brooks pull off the biggest upset in the tournament? Or will Ash introduce him to his boomstick?
Peter Washington (#15)
First Appearance: Dawn of the Dead (1978) Number of Appearances: One. Quote: "Something my granddad used to tell us. You know Macumba? Vodou. My granddad was a priest in Trinidad. He used to tell us, 'When there's no more room in hell, the dead will walk the Earth.'"
First Appearance: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1987) Number of Appearances One. Quote: "We took care of him."
I couldn't decide which final girl from the series to go with and ultimately went with Tina for three reasons. Alice is more iconic, but she beat an old lady. No great feat compared to others. Ginny is the smarter one, but she doesn't do much to Jason in the long run. I picked Tina because she does the most damage to Jason at arguably his strongest period (not counting UberJason). Peter got selected from the Romero films because well, he's the only noteworthy character that survives the zombie apocalypse. He's also Ken Foree, which helps.
At first glance, one would assume that the larger Peter has the advantage in a fight over Tina. But anyone who has seen The New Blood knows that Tina has psychic powers that enable her to control lots of different objects around her. She just has to be very upset to use them. So it's a matter of can Peter avoid pissing her off before they compete, and what can he do if she's already upset at the time? He's fought off a hordes of zombies...he can probably think of a way to overcome Tina if he can avoid whatever she throws at him.
Can Peter survive to the next round? Or will Tina mess him up like she did Jason?
RJ MacReady (#7)
First Appearance: The Thing (1982) Number of Appearances: One. Quote: "Why don't we just... wait here for a little while... see what happens?"
Tucker & Dale (#26)
First Appearance: Tucker & Dale vs Evil (2011) Number of Appearances One Quote: "Oh hidy ho officer, we've had a doozy of a day. There we were minding our own business, just doing chores around the house, when kids started killing themselves all over my property."
Before anyone says anything, RJ MacReady survived the events of The Thing. Was he likely to die after? Maybe. But it doesn't matter if he died within five seconds of the film ending, he survived the film and was (as far as we know) Thing-free, which falls into the parameters I established for this tournament. His opponents under any other circumstances would be considered lambs to the slaughter, but at last glance Tallahassee was beating Nancy Thompson so anything can happen.
Tucker and Dale may only have fought stupid college kids, but they do have the advantage of being a team. Dale can do the heavy lifting and Tucker can unfortunately take a lot of damage. The fact that they're not actually killer hillbillies may help them catch MacReady off guard. MacReady however, can deal with people just as well as he can deal with alien creatures from outer space. He's shown that when desperate, he can resort to extreme measures to get ahead. He's also very smart and a good strategist.
Is this an easy win for MacReady? Or will Tucker & Dale surprise us all?
Laurie Strode (#10)
First Appearance: Halloween (1978) Number of Appearances: Six. Quote: "It was the boogeyman."
Seth Gecko (#23)
First Appearance: From Dusk 'Till Dawn (1996) Number of Appearances One Quote: "And I don't want to hear anything about "I don't believe in vampires" because *I* don't believe in vampires, but I believe in my own two eyes, and what *I* saw is fucking vampires!"
Laurie Strode is the ultimate final girl. Not only did she survive Michael Myers three times, but she managed to do quite a bit of damage to him. She's stabbed him, blinded him, shot him, thrown him off balconies and more. Not many people can inflict that much damage on The Shape and survive. Not enough Dr. Loomis, and he shot him six times (eventually more than that, but you know what I mean)! Her opponent is also a survivor, only he had to survive a bar invested with vampires with only his wits and a totally unprepared family to back him up.
Seth Gecko had to watch his own brother get killed by the monsters, while Laurie lost all of her friends to her brother, Michael Myers. The two are very resourceful. While Seth has some advantage in that he was a skilled criminal before his duel with the forces of the undead, Laurie has managed to battle pure evil three times and not only live, but defeat it (for now..there's always a sequel). One thing you can say about Seth is that he managed to stay out of the franchise and avoid any more vampires. Poor Laurie just can't seem to get away from Michael Myers.
Will Laurie survive once again? Or will Seth Gecko steal this one?
Ellen Ripley (#3)
First Appearance: Alien (1979) Number of Appearances: Four Quote: "Get away from her you bitch!"
Charlie McFadden (#30)
First Appearance: Critters (1986) Number of Appearances Four Quote: " I gotta go where the cosmic winds blow me. I gotta go... where no man has gone before."
Speaking of final girls, Ripley was different from the average final girl in that she became an action hero on top of surviving the wrath of a terrifying monster. In that way, she's similar to her opponent Charlie McFadden, who went from being a town drunk to an alien bounty hunter when he has to step up and fight an intergalactic threat. This one is the battle of the alien hunters.
Sure, the Xenomorphs are probably a tougher foe than the Crites, but I'd say Charlie being less skilled and still managing to save the day four times says a lot. He's also managed to stay alive in all four of his appearances, while Ripley died and was cloned. If these two got into a fight for bragging rights, he might be able to use the skills he's picked up to get past her just long enough to advance. Of course Ripley's fought tougher and stronger than Charlie, so he's going to need all the help he can get.
Will the cosmic winds blow Charlie right out of this tournament? Or can he score the upset over Ripley?
Sidney Prescott (#14)
First Appearance: Scream (1996) Number of Appearances: Four. Quote: "You sick fucks. You've seen one too many movies!"
First Appearance: Blade (1998) Number of Appearances Eight. He's appeared in the films, his own show and other superhero shows. Quote: "You obviously do not know who you are *fucking* with!"
Once again, this is another fight that appears to be a mismatch. If you're looking at it based on who would win in a fight, Blade probably has the advantage. If you're looking at it in terms of who is more iconic, I think Sidney would have the edge. It all depends on how you can vote.
They both have their owns sets of skills, advantages and disadvantages. Blade is of course a half-vampire without any of the weaknesses that vampires normally have. He can walk around in the sun and things like garlic won't hurt him. He also has extensive weapons training and martial arts skills. However, he can be injured and he can be killed (in theory) and Sidney has her impressive body count for a woman with little training. She's managed to take out four psychotic killers on her own, and do some damage to two more who were killed by others. If she can somehow avoid a direct fight with Blade, she could kill him just like any other vampire hunter could slay a vampire. A stake to the heart. She's got experience with stabbing.
Will Blade sink his teeth into a win? Or can Sidney take down the Daywalker?
Tommy Jarvis (#6)
First Appearance: Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final Chapter (1984) Number of Appearances: Three. Quote: "Jason belongs in Hell - and I'm gonna see to it that he gets there."
Burt Gummer (#27)
First Appearance: Tremors (1990) Number of Appearances Four. The first three films and the TV series. Tremors 4 was a prequel and Michael Gross played Burt's ancestor. Quote: "I am COMPLETELY out of ammo. That's never happened to me before."
Both Tommy and Burt have fought some extraordinary foes on multiple occasions and lived to talk about it. Tommy has defeated Jason twice and a copycat killer on top of that. Burt has taken on the Graboids in their various forms (they like to evolve) and survived several times. There are two advantages that Tommy has over Burt. His opponent has come back from the dead and he managed to kill Jason when he was a kid. Burt's advantage over Tommy is his vast arsenal of weapons. He's kind of a gun nut.
But when it comes to being nuts, Tommy has experience in that field as well. He was already kind of a weird kid (playing video games in a Halloween mask is just strange) but he didn't take surviving Jason Voorhees and being the one to kill him very well. Burt is simply a survivalist and probably would be at home among a group of doomsday preppers. So...they're both a little crazy. Like many other fights in this tournament, these two really have no reason to go at it, outside of the fact they seem to enjoy fighting.
The Toxic Avenger (#11)
First Appearance: The Toxic Avenger (1984) Number of Appearances: Seventeen. He's Troma's mascot, so he gets a lot of work. Quote: "Didn't you learn your lesson the last time I disemboweled you, shoved your head up your ass, and killed you with your own diaper?"
Kirsty Cotton (#22)
First Appearance: Hellraiser (1987) Number of Appearances Four. Quote: "It is you! You weren't always this way, you were human once. You were all human! Remember your fear, your confusion!"
You would think, given how The Toxic Avenger can effortlessly tear apart bad guys, that Kirsty would have a serious disadvantage here. However, Kirsty also had a disadvantage against the forces of Hell and managed to get past them on three separate occasions. She's outsmarted the Cenobites, confused them and even went as far as to bargain with them to get her way. Toxie's never been accused of being a genius, so if Kirsty can outwit him, then she could stand a chance to win.
It says a lot that Kirsty has experience with monsters that used to be human. Maybe she could remind Toxie of what he was and get him to let his guard down enough that she can surprise him. Toxie could easily overpower her in a straight-up fight, but he's not going to kill her unless he commits a serious crime. In other words, he's going to be fighting probably at half strength to avoid doing such a thing. He protects the innocent, after all. But even at half strength, Toxie's much stronger than the average person. If all else fails, Kirsty could give Toxie a special box to play with...
Does The Toxic Avenger begin a run of superhuman size and strength? Or can Kirsty's wits give her another unlikely victory?
That's it for me. Leave some comments here on or my Twitter. Round two begins next week!
Closing Logo courtesy of Kyle Morton (get your own custom artwork and commissions at his Etsy account)
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