www.411mania.com
|  News |  Film Reviews |  Columns |  DVD/Other Reviews |  News Report |
SPOTLIGHTS  SPOTLIGHTS
MOVIES/TV
// The 11 Hottest Brazilian Women
MUSIC
// Chanel West Coast Instagrams New Bikini Booty Pic
WRESTLING
// 411 Roundtable Preview: WWE Night of Champions 2014
MMA
// UFC Suspends Anthony Johnson Indefinitely
GAMES
// Top 5 Video Game Songs


MOVIE REVIEW  MOVIE REVIEWS
//  A Walk Among the Tombstones Review
//  This Is Where I Leave You Review
//  The Zero Theorem Review
//  The November Man Review
//  As Above, So Below Review
//  Sin City: A Dame to Kill For Review
 HOT MOVIES
//  The Dark Knight Rises
//  The Avengers
//  Prometheus
//  The Amazing Spider-Man
//  Iron Man 3
//  The Hobbit
SYNDICATE  SYNDICATE



411mania RSS Feeds





Follow 411mania on Twitter!




Add 411 On Facebook
 


 
 411mania » Movies » Columns

Advertisement
The Gratuitous B-Movie Column 3.10.14 Issue #297: Dinoshark (2010)
Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz on 03.10.2014



The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Issue #297: Dinoshark (2010)


Monster March: Week 2


Hello, everyone, and welcome once again to the internets movie review column that has never had to jump over a moving car, The Gratuitous B-Movie Column, and I am your host Bryan Kristopowitz. In this issue, issue number two hundred and ninety-seven, Monster March continues with a look at the 2010 low budget monster movie produced by the great Roger Corman, Dinoshark.


Dinoshark (2010)



Dinoshark, directed by Kevin O'Neill, is one of those low budget monster movies where the monster only becomes the main plot until a third of the movie is over. Instead of starting out with everyone terrified of the monster, a gigantic, believed dead prehistoric shark hatched from an egg that was encased in Artic ice melted by global warming, the first part of the movie is all about professional mariner/bum Trace McGraw (Eric Balfour) trying to get his life in order after several years of doing very little. Scoring a decent job ferrying tourists around a small Mexican resort town to snorkel and whatnot doesn't seem like a big deal at first, but it will give Trace a steady paycheck and that's what he's interested in. Of course, the ferrying job isn't as clear cut as it seems. Trace has to have a license for both the boat and to work, something he apparently doesn't have (Trace knows the inspector but he can't catch a break and will be fined if he doesn't come up with the proper paperwork), and the buddy he's borrowing the boat from is a drug smuggler (heroin or cocaine, I'm not sure. It's white stuff wrapped in plastic with tan tape wrapped around it).

While all of that is going on, Carol Brubaker (Iva Hasperger), a local environmentalist specializing in reefs and fish and whatnot/high school girls water polo coach, is in the middle of planning a big water polo meet at the local hotel as part of the town's big annual festival and looking over the conditions of the local coral reef. Carol isn't too keen on Trace's occupation and isn't all that fond of Trace, either (he's a bit of a bum). Her mind is all over the place and spends most of the first part of the movie trying to figure out what she should be focusing on. Should she be all about the science or the people?

Now, while the dinoshark isn't the main focus of the plot, the dinoshark is lurking around the resort, eating various people and causing general mayhem. No one seems to notice all of the disappearing people at first, but once one of Trace's bar buddies/old pals Rita (the incredibly sexy Christina Nicole. Oh my God she is so hot) is found dead on the beach, the bottom half of her body missing, Trace goes on high alert. What the heck is going on? What the hell ate Rita? And then, when he finally sees the culprit, the dinoshark, Trace wants to go on a "seek and destroy" mission; find the shark, kill the shark, and end the madness. Of course, this being a low budget monster movie, no one believes Trace when he says the killer shark is gigantic and prehistoric (Trace inadvertently looks at a book filled with renderings of prehistoric sharks and recognizes the dinoshark, a creature that has been dead for thousands of years). But, as more and more people see the dinoshark in action, jumping out of the water and eating parasailers, kayakers, and rich assholes who think it's funny to push their hot girlfriends into the water only to then see them swallowed whole (the rich assholes in question are eventually eaten, too, because they goddamn deserve it), suddenly killing the dinoshark is a priority.

Well, this being a low budget monster movie, the first inclination of Carol the sensible scientist is to somehow capture the dinoshark so it can be studied. She comes to her senses, though, when she sees the dinoshark in action up close and gets on the "kill the damn thing!" bandwagon. The last third of the movie is all about finding the dinoshark and killing it.

The dinoshark is a terrifying creature, mostly because it doesn't give a flying hoot who or what it eats. If you're in the water or near the shore the dinoshark will try to eat you. Flying high in the sky isn't all that safe, either, as the damn thing can jump quite high. The dinoshark is also huge, something you'd expect to see in a creature called a "dinoshark." The animation used to render the dinoshark, while obviously of the low budget variety, is respectable. It does look kind of cheesy at times, but for the most part the creature is scary, and that's what you want in a giant killer monster movie. And kudos to director O'Neill for using a "real" giant dinoshark head for the close up chomping scenes. CGI just wouldn't have worked.

The whole drug smuggling subplot is sort of forgotten until it shows up again towards the end of the movie. I was hoping there would be at least once scene where Balfour's Trace is interrogated about the drugs his buddy is suspected of moving around. I mean, why have that kind of thing in the movie if it isn't dealt with in a big way?

Balfour does a good job as Trace. He's mellow and charismatic at the beginning of the movie; you feel kind of sorry for him, especially when he starts talking about his stern Navy father and how he once had to escape pirates. And Balfour does an okay job when he has to go into "action hero" mode and lob grenades and spears at the creature.

Iva Hasperger, as Carol the concerned scientist, is a little too aloof at the beginning of the movie and doesn't become someone you root for until the middle of the movie, but once she makes the switchover you like her. I don't quite buy her "I forgot about the polo match" thing towards the end of the movie, as she doesn't come off as someone who would forget that kind of thing, even if she was neck deep in danger from being eaten by a prehistoric shark. You'll forget about it once the movie is over, but it could gnaw at you a few days later. That's what happened to me. Good job anyway.

Aaron Diaz is excellent as Luis, Trace's go to guy at the end of the movie. He knows how to get the kind of weaponry necessary to take out the dinoshark, and he sort of looks like director Robert Rodriguez, which is funny when he goes toe-to-toe with the dinoshark. And Dan Golden does a good job as Mike the douchebag resort owner. I swear, these resort owners are always clueless when their resorts are attacked by monsters. You would think, after Jaws, that at least one of them would get a clue.

Christina Nicole is superb as Rita. She's warm, funny, and she looks great in a bikini (and when I say great I mean insanely great. The kind of great that you want to worship like a deity). You'll wish there was more of her in the movie (I know I did).

And then there's producer Roger Corman, who shows up as Dr. Frank Reeves, prehistoric fish expert and Carol's mentor. Corman does more than a cameo and actually figures into the latter half of the movie (how often does that happen with stunt cameos?). He engages in a bit of "Wes Craven constantly smiling in New Nightmare" at first, but he calms himself down and starts talking in that precise, measured way we've all heard a million times in special feature documentaries. I'm actually kind of surprised that O'Neill didn't have the dinoshark eat Corman at the end (I'm surprised because that's probably what I would have done).

The ending seems to indicate that there will be a sequel, but from what I've read on the internets (wikipedia mostly) Sci Fi didn't want a direct sequel. That, to me, makes absolutely no sense. As the ending shows, there are more dinosharks out there and there are plenty of people out there for the dinoshark to eat. Come on, Sci Fi. Four years have passed. It's time for Dinoshark 2.

Dinoshark is a fun low budget monster movie. It isn't perfect, but it's worth using up ninety minutes of your life watching it. Again, it's a fun movie, and that's what's most important.

See Dinoshark. See it, see it, see it.


So what do we have here?

Dead bodies: Over 10. The dinoshark has a hearty appetite.

Explosions: Several. No big ones, though.

Nudity?: None. It was made for basic cable, although I wouldn't have minded seeing Christina Nicole... well, you know.

Doobage: Arctic ice falling apart because of global warming, several big eggs, anchor dropping, scuba food, drug smuggling, a boat of loud drunks, surfing via jet ski, a major wipeout, mid-air snatching via giant shark, bar hooey, parasailing, a hot chick swimming alone, a serious chomping, water polo practice, ground spraying, chip eating, lifeguard eating, half of a dead body, a picture of Roger Corman, rich asshole eating, hot babe eating, blood splatter on the camera lens, term paper reading, chum, rowboat stupidity, hat eating, CGI gunfire, head chomping, CGI helicopter eating, a roadblock, toy boat hooey, RPG rocket launcher assembling, a floating human head, water polo team eating, more hot babes swimming in the ocean, more parasailing, a baby ostrich, sailboat eating, a regatta, jet ski hooey, grenade attack, tourist boat attack, slow motion leap from jet ski with grenade throwing, exploding fin, harpoon to the eye, and the possibility of a sequel.

Kim Richards?: Attempted.

Gratuitous: Arctic ice falling, prehistoric dinosaur eggs, Mexico, Eric Balfour, a massive killer shark, parasailing, a very hot woman named Rita, multiple shark attacks, a story about pirates, a Jaws theme homage, water polo, a picture of Roger Corman, internet research, cell phone pictures, the Mexican coast guard, Roger Corman, Roger Corman telling a mariachi band to quiet down, hat eating, CGI gunfire, a CGI helicopter, CGI helicopter eating, Roger Corman doing "scientific stuff," RPG hooey, a floating human head, a baby ostrich, a regatta, slow motion leap from jet ski with grenade throwing, harpoon to the eye, and the possibility of a sequel.

Best lines: "You're late! I'm in a hurry!," "Hey! You still throw like a girl!," "Is this the immigration office?," "That was easy! Come on, let's go to lunch!," "I don't see anything," "I've sailed this bay half my life. I know what a damn tiger shark looks like," "And to think it was snowing when I left Aspen," "Steve! Steve, I'm serious! I don't want to get my bathing suit wet!," "The only thing I've learned to expect lately is bad news," "Alaska? That's a long way," "That's your killer. A 150 million year old shark. And it's hungry," "Dinoshark season is officially open," "Hey, where's your boat?," "The eye! Aim for the eye!," "Is that a shark?," and "Welcome to the endangered species list you bastard!"


Rating: 7.9/10.0

***

Next week: Spiders!





***

The Gratuitous B-Movie Column: The Facebook Page!








Please check out The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Facebook page, which can be seen here. There's not much there at the moment, but, as time goes by, expect to see daily questions and musings and other B-movie hooey (this really is going to happen at some point). And it would be cool if you "liked" it, too.

The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Facebook page! Yeah!


And please check out my interview with director Brett A. Hart about the Ain't It Cool internet show and more!




***

Things to Watch Out For This Week: Part 1






- Puncture Wounds: Dolph Lundgren, Cung Lee, and Vinnie Jones star in this action flick, which was originally titled (according to imdb.com anyway) A Certain Justice. I have no idea why the movie's title was changed and I'm not sure which one is better. They're both kind of cool. This could be part of the upcoming A Dolph Lundgren December, so be on the lookout for that.

















- Homefront: This Jason Statham action drama came and went in theatres last fall without much fanfare, which is kind of sad because, could or bad, everyone should support Jason Statham movies because if they don't Hollywood will stop making them. Homefront is pretty good, although the whole "James Franco as a bad guy" thing didn't work out all that well. I mean, he just isn't much of a threat.
















- Enemies Closer: This action flick, directed by Peter Hyams, did have a small theatrical run (I read a review for it in The New York Times), so there's a chance you may have seen it in a movie theatre. I didn't. Jean Claude Van-Damme is in it as a bad guy, and apparently Tom Everett Scott is in it, too, as the hero. Interesting casting or a major disaster? I can't wait to find out.
















- In Fear: This low budget horror flick, which was in theatres this past weekend in select cities, has been getting some good reviews, and it does look kind of freaky, so it has that going for it, too. Hopefully it lives up to its reputation, as the world doesn't need another crappy horror movie.













- Dennis the Menace- the 1st 33 episodes: I loved this cartoon back when it was on in syndication. Having this DVD set is the next best thing to having it back on one of the cartoon channels (why the heck hasn't this been on Boomerang?).








***

The Gratuitous B-Movie Column B-Movie Theme of the Week



Enjoy.







And since this is a Corman movie, I'll add this one, too.







***


TV Quick Hits









- Saint George thoughts: I'm shocked at how good this new FX sitcom starring George Lopez is. The early reviews for it were terrible, and I thought that the whole George Lopez thing was coming back at least a year too early (after TBS dumped his talk show I knew he was going to make a comeback at some point, like in 2015, four years after TBS told him to take a hike. Four years seems like a good time to make a come back). But, amazingly, Saint George is a good sitcom. It's not perfect; it needs some time to flesh out its general premise, but it's a good, funny show.

Lopez is a hoot as the divorced businessman trying to figure out his life with his son, ex-wife, grandmother (why is he living with her? I don't get that at the moment), and his cousin and uncle. The great Danny Trejo, Machete hisself, is hilarious as Lopez's uncle Tio Danny. He isn't well known for his comedy chops, but Trejo has great timing and works well with Lopez. And David Zayas, as Lopez's cousin, is excellent as well. When you put them all together (Lopez, Trejo, and Zayas) have a "Three Stooges" kind of chemistry that, if done right, could become the backbone of the show.

Diana Riva Maria, as Concepcion, the school principal that has the hots for Lopez's character, is just awesome. She has great timing and chemistry with Lopez, and she's just gorgeous (that's always a plus). I'm going to assume that we're going to see more from her when the show focuses more on Lopez's one-night-a-week night school teaching gig (will Lopez expand his teaching thing to two nights a week? He doesn't date all that often, apparently, so why not?). I can see Concepcion engaging in wildly inappropriate yet funny as hell behavior (bikini in the janitor's closet! Bikini in the janitor's closet!).

The only parts I'm sort of iffy about are the grandmother thing and the ex-wife thing. Olga Merediz is funny as Lopez's grandmother Alma (caustic old people, while a sitcom cliché, usually work), but, again, I don't quite get why she's living with him. As for the ex-wife part, Jenn Lyon just doesn't come off as an ex-wife. She seems more like a secretary that Lopez may have the hots for. The show will have to focus a little more on Lyon's Mackenzie so we can see that she used to have a sort of loving relationship with Lopez (use Charlie Sheen's back-and-forth with Shawnee Smith as a guide). I'm just not buying it at the moment.

I like Saint George quite a bit. So far, so good. We'll see where it goes. I think FX will pick it up.

Although... if Saint George is picked up and follows the same production schedule as Anger Management (2 episodes a week) how the heck is Danny Trejo going to keep making low budget action and horror movies? I mean, he's got a new movie coming out every month, sometimes two movies. That pace is going to have to be curtailed a bit, isn't it?

















- ABC needs to bring back Super Fun Night immediately: Two episodes in and it's obvious that the new ABC comedy Mixology is an unfunny piece of shit disaster of the highest order that isn't going to get any better. And while the ratings for Rebel Wilson's comedy Super Fun Night, the show that aired in the Wednesday post-Modern Family slot before Mixology started, weren't great, ABC needs to bring that show back and give it a second chance before cancelling Mixology and using reruns of Modern Family to fill in the gap between new episodes of Modern Family and Nashville.

Why should Super Fun Night get a second chance? One, because it's funny. There is at least one gigantic belly laugh each episode, something that's very hard to do when it comes to comedies in general. Two, the cast is one of the best on TV. Wilson is hilarious as Kimmy, the focus of the show, and Liza Lapira and Lauren Ash are excellent as Kimmy's friends Helen-Alice and Marika. Kevin Bishop is great as Richard, the goofy British guy that Kimmy has the hots for (and he has the hots for her, too, something the show should have explored more in its first thirteen episodes). Kate Jenkinson is okay as Kendall, the office jerk who can't stand Kimmy or anyone she sees as out of her social class. She's a little too mean at times, but then I guess that's why she's on the show in the first place. And Nate Torrence, as Kimmy's boyfriend James, was just starting to become an intricate part of the show when the season ended.

Yes, the musical numbers are a little weird, and I'm not sure the whole "Kimmy talking to her computer journal" thing is necessary to start off every episode, but all in all Super Fun Night is one of the better network comedies of the last five years. It deserves another chance. Please, ABC, don't do to it what Fox did to Andy Richter Controls the Universe.

Am I the only fan of Super Fun Night? If I am there's something seriously wrong with the world.













- Stake Land the TV show? Fuck yeah!: Stake Land, the badass vampire action flick from the great Jim Mickle and Nick Damici (check out my my Stake Land review here) is apparently going to be a TV series at some point in the near future. According to the story I read on Fangoria's website, the potential show is set to take place seven years after the end of the movie and will involve new kinds of vampires (stuff is going to fly). I can't express how awesome that sounds, so I'll just say it sounds goddamn awesome. I will say that I'm a little shocked, though, that the proposed show isn't set to be a reboot of the movie, or some kind of "it takes place in the world of Stake Land but it doesn't have anything to do with the characters seen in the movie" thing. I'd still watch that show, too, but I like the idea of a TV series sequel to the movie.

Now, where is this potential show going to air? Will it be a Netflix thing? Will Sci Fi or maybe Sundance Channel air it? Will it be syndicated? Will Showtime do it (the network does have a horror show void at the moment. No more Dexter). Hopefully we'll know more about this show soon.

And, hopefully, it actually happens. Because, for me, the world could always use more Stake Land.









***



The Gratuitous B-Movie Column B-Movie Babe of the Week: Iva Hasperger














***

Things to Watch Out For This Week: Part 2



- The Outsider: Jason Patric hasn't had the best run of luck when it comes to action movies. I wouldn't be surprised to find out that his action movie credibility is still lacking because of the disaster that was Speed 2: Cruise Control. The Outsider probably isn't going to be his return to the good graces of the action movie world, but it looks like it could be a good start. And when is Jimmy Cahn ever boring?








- Dracula Reborn: You would think that Dracula and vampire movies would be played out by now, but people are still making them and people are still watching them, so why the heck not? Dracula Reborn; it looks very rentable.








- Time Warrior: The special effects in the trailer look amazing, but will the movie itself be amazing? And why isn't this getting a wide release in theatres? I bet people would go to a movie theatre to see it. I know I would.








- In the Name of the King 3: The Last Mission: The last In the Name of the King movie starred Dolph Lundgren and was kind of bad (check out my review of it here). But director Uwe Boll has apparently found the money to do another one, and he's got Dominic Purcell as the star. Will it be any good? The odds aren't in the movie's favor, but, hey, it's only 90 minutes, right? I think we can all spare 90 minutes to watch this thing.



***

The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Douchebag of the Week


Douchebag








This week, The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Douchebag of the Week goes to Republican Senator Lindsey Graham, for saying that Russia's invasion of Crimea in Ukraine is the direct result of "Benghazi." Because, you know, everything bad that has happened since "Benghazi" is the direct result of "Benghazi." And the invasion had absolutely nothing to do with Russia's past history with Ukraine, Russian President Putin's newish conservatism and, for the lack of a better word, need, to bring back the old Soviet Empire. No, everything is about Benghazi.

Senator Graham is never going to stop talking about Benghazi. I wouldn't be surprised to find out that the Senator blamed the first "polar vortex" of the winter season on Benghazi.

Please, Lindsay, give it a rest. Stop trying to score lame political points with the teabaggers. It's incredibly sad.







And then there's Republican Congressperson Darrell Issa of California, for not allowing Democratic Congressperson Elijah Cummings to speak at the end of a House Government Oversight and Reform Committee meeting regarding the ongoing non-scandal scandal involving the IRS and teabagger groups. As Representative Cummings was starting to speak Representative Issa had his microphone cut off because "the meeting was over." While the meeting may have been technically over, it made no sense for Issa to act like a total douchebag in front of the whole world outside of his own personal need to be a total douchebag. Issa did eventually apologize, but by that point the damage had been done and whatever small bit of seriousness that was left in the ongoing investigation of the IRS non-scandal had been decimated.

And this all happened during a Government Reform Committee meeting. How is this good for the country? How does this kind of thing help lead to reform?

Everything really is bullshit, isn't it?







And finally there's former U.N Ambassador John Bolton, for thinking he can be elected President of the United States in 2016.

Really, John? President of the United States? Elected to the office? Alan Keyes has a better shot at being elected President, and there's no way in hell the Republican Party would ever consider nominating him. You, John, have even less of a chance than he does. So why even bother? What do you have to gain by wasting everyone's time?

***

NASCAR and Indycar thoughts




The NASCAR Sprint Cup race at Las Vegas was a damn good race, the best NASCAR race so far in 2014. It was fast, action packed, and it featured a mega close finish, as Brad Keselowski edged out Dale Earnhardt, Jr. after Earnhardt ran out of gas with half a lap to go. Keselowski was strong all day having started on the front row with his Team Penske teammate Joey Logano (Logano was also fast the whole day and had a real shot at winning). Earnhardt, Jr. ran up front, too, for most of the day, and was so dang close to winning. Once Keselowski caught Earnhardt, Jr. I figured he'd blow right by him, but Earnhardt was able to stay in front of him and remain fast until the very end. I'm not sure if Keselowski could have passed Earnhardt again, even with the lapped traffic up ahead. If Earnhardt hadn't run out of gas he probably would have won. Probably.

Jimmie Johnson was strong all day, too. He ended up finishing sixth (was he having fuel issues? He seemed to fade a little at the end). And Paul Menard had an amazing day, leading laps and finishing third. Is he set to have a break out year? And Carl Edwards was in the hunt all day, too, finishing a relatively strong fifth.

What the heck happened to Kevin Harvick? The Phoenix race winner was strong early and looked like he could be in line for a second straight win but then something happened with one of the wheels and he was done. At the moment Harvick is the only one running fast at Stewart-Haas Racing. Danica Patrick had a terrible day in general (she's pretty much screwed once she goes down a lap) but she was fast at the end of the race, was able to pass cars on the track, and she ended up 21st. She'll get better. She will.

Jeff Gordon had a decent day, as did Ryan Newman (he just sort of appeared in the top ten. I don't remember the Fox announcers talking about him at all during the race). Martin Truex finished 14th, although he was strong for most of the day and probably should have had a top ten. He could win a race this year with the Furniture Row team.

The changes NASCAR made during the off season seem to have paid off in terms of the racing action on the 1.5 mile tracks. Texas is the next 1.5 mile track on the schedule, so we'll see how that race goes. Texas is still a one groove track for stock cars, so hopefully we'll see a better race there. And California is coming up, too. That track, along with Michigan, need something to improve the competition.




I did get to see a good portion of the Nationwide race on Saturday. Brad Keselowski and Kyle Busch put on a bit of a show at the end of the race as they battled for the lead (Keselowski won this race, too), but for the most part the race was a bore. There wasn't as much mixing it up throughout the field, although Kyle Larson and Chase Elliott did try to put on a show (Larson, amazingly, finished third and Elliott finished fifth, although I believe Elliott's car failed post race inspection and he will likely be penalized in some form this week). I have a feeling that NASCAR is going to make a big change for 2015 in terms of Sprint Cup participation in the Nationwide and Camping World Truck Series. I don't think NASCAR will ban Sprint Cup drivers from competing in general but drivers will be limited somehow in terms of the number of races they can compete in. I think 5-8 races is a good limit. Of course, teams will just split races up among various Cup drivers... we'll all just have to wait and see what NASCAR comes up with.

Bristol is up next for both the Sprint Cup Series and Nationwide Series, with Nationwide racing on Saturday afternoon and Sprint Cup racing on Sunday afternoon. I'm going to end up missing both of those events, so that sucks. Bristol is usually a good show, at least for a little while (once the track gets greasy it becomes impossible to pass, which then leads to endless crashes and caution periods). I'll just have to catch the highlights or a replay or something.




Over in Indycar, the big news is NASCAR Sprint Cup star Kurt Busch teaming up with Andretti Autosport to try to do the "Memorial Day Double," competing in both the Indy 500 and the Coke 600 in the same day, something that hasn't been tried in a decade (Robby Gordon was the last driver to give it a go back in 2004). I'm a little surprised that Busch, a Chevrolet driver in Sprint Cup, is being allowed to compete at Indianapolis in a Honda powered car, but then I guess both sides see the overall value in allowing Busch to give it a shot (no matter what it's good PR for all involved). There will definitely be more eyes on 500 qualifying with Busch involved.
So what happens next? Busch will have to start testing his Andretti Autosport car at Indy and wherever else AA can go to so Busch can get used to the feel of the car. If he doesn't have a feel for the car or at least a basic understanding of how the car will react on the track qualifying and actually racing are going to be very difficult for him. Indycar doesn't seem all that confident at the moment that it will be able to find 33 cars for a full 500 field, so Busch should be able to get into the field easily. However, in order to make Busch's participation an even bigger deal, AA and Indycar are going to have to make sure Busch has a chance at not only the pole but a legitimate shot at winning the race. Busch probably won't win the race (unless he's some sort of Indycar savant and just kicks ass the second he gets in the car), but, again, it's all about having the chance to win. Busch can't just run mid-pack.



I'm a little annoyed with the Indy qualifying TV arrangement, though. Instead of having early qualifying on ESPN or ESPN2, early qualifying will instead be "broadcast" on ESPN3, the sports network's streaming channel, which is just awful. What's wrong with having qualifying on ESPN Classic? That's a far better option than ESPN fucking 3.
Hopefully this arrangement changes and early qualifying will be on actual TV, where it belongs. Indy happens once a year, and the world can go without twelve consecutive repeats on Sportscenter or poker tournament reruns for a weekend. Again, it's Indy, and it's important.
March 30th is only a few weeks away. St. Pete is a street race, yes, but at least the season will be underway. That's what's most important.


***


Well, I think that'll be about it for this issue. B-movies rule, always remember that.

If there's anything you want to see reviewed here in this column, feel free to offer a comment below or send me an e-mail. I'm always on the lookout for new stuff to watch.

And don't forget to sign up with disqus if you want to comment on this article and any other 411 article. You know you want to, so just go do it.

Dinoshark

Eric Balfour- Trace McGraw
Iva Hasperger- Carol Brubaker
Aaron Diaz- Luis
Dan Golden- Mike
Humberto Busto- Calderon
Roger Corman- Dr. Frank Reeves
Christina Nicole- Rita Valdez

Directed by Kevin O'Neill
Screenplay by Frances Doel and Guy Prevost, with additional dialogue by Porter Fox

Distributed by Anchor Bay Entertainment, New Horizons, and Syfy

Not rated
Runtime- 90 minutes

Buy it here











MUST-READ 411 STORIES:

The 11 Hottest Brazilian Women

Ranking All 11 Kevin Smith Movies

The Maze Runner Review


comments powered by Disqus











www.41mania.com
Copyright (c) 2011 411mania.com, LLC. All rights reserved.
Click here for our privacy policy. Please help us serve you better, fill out our survey.
Use of this site signifies your agreement to our terms of use.