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 411mania » Movies » Columns

The 411 Douchebag of the Week: The National Football League
Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz on 08.24.2014

Hello, everyone, and welcome to the latest edition of The 411 Douchebag of the Week. I'm Bryan Kristopowitz. I'm still pissed off about cable channel FXX cancelling both Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell and Legit but I have been enjoying its The Simpson's marathon. I didn't think I would participate but the prospect of endless The Simpson's was just too good to pass up, especially with the earlier seasons (the later seasons are good and funny, especially the last few seasons, but, yes, the middle seasons are more hit and miss than the early seasons). Will FXX do this again next summer? Will TBS do this for Family Guy one day?

And now, onto this week's Douchebag of the Week.


This week, The 411 Douchebag of the Week goes to the National Football League, for proposing that the musical act at the upcoming Superbowl pay the NFL either a percentage of its after Superbowl tour profits or an "upfront fee." As reported by NBC Sports (which got it from The Wall Street Journal), the NFL recently asked Rihanna, Katy Perry, and Coldplay about the payment/fee, to see which one of the top acts said yes. As of this writing Rihanna, Katy Perry, and Coldplay have all told the NFL that they're less than enthusiastic about the proposal.

Now, up until this proposal the Superbowl halftime musical act has appeared free of charge; the NFL didn't pay the musical act and the musical act didn't pay the NFL. Each side used the other one to gain viewers and exposure. And it's been a mega successful arrangement as the Superbowl is the most watched show on TV every year and the halftime show, along with the commercials, is a big draw. So why change things now?

Why else? Greed. Relentless, uncompromising greed. You would think that the money machine that is the NFL would just leave things alone and keep the steady money rolling in. Why change something that works perfectly? Again, greed. And that's just terrible. And possibly a form of extortion.

Pretty pathetic, NFL. Pretty pathetic.

And now for this week's honorable mentions…

-Kevin Sorbo, for his mildly racist Facebook rant regarding the situation in Ferguson, Missouri. It's bad enough that Sorbo also went on Sean Hannity's Fox News show and claimed that black people voting for Obama is a racist act but why lose your mind and call protestors "animals" and "losers?" Is that what the Holy Spirit wants, Kevin?

-Pamela Anderson, for refusing to participate in the "Ice Bucket Challenge" because ALS researchers engage in animal testing. Am I the only one tired of animal rights activists turning everything into a "stop animal testing" lecture?

-Mariah Carey, for not allowing her husband/soon-to-be ex-husband Nick Cannon to talk about their ongoing marital issues. Why keep anyone from anything at the moment? The cat is already out of the bag. And isn't the truth more important than wild speculation?

-Justin Bieber for riding his motorcycle on the sidewalk and almost hitting someone. Yeah, I think it's time he is either deported or imprisoned. The dude is a menace.

Thanks for reading. Agree? Disagree? Sign up with disqus and comment. You know you want to, so just go do it.

Oh, and B-movies rule, always remember that.


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