The Tasty Evil TV News 12.29.05
Posted by Avery Chan on 12.29.2005
Year End Edition! You know what that means. No real news, just another subjective year end list! Happy New Year!
New Years is approaching which means everybody will be busting out a Year End list of what flew and blew and I will not waste the opportunity to create my first "best of" list. A number of things to keep in mind: I have a very short term memory so only things from the current tv season qualifies. I'm also avoiding things like "best show" or "best actors" because that's best left until the end of the season and really, they're not that interesting to me. Here they are, my favorites of '05 (the last half of it at least).
Best Episode:
For this category, the episode should be as self-contained as possible. It could not be one part of an immediate storyline. The main story had to start and finish in that episode without any of that that cliff-hanging or "to-be-continued" business.
Law and Order: SVU "911"
This was essentially a gimmick episode, but one that worked beautifully. Benson receives a call from a little girl who says she's being held prisoner in a room but doesn't know where. The rest of the squad scours the city looking for her but start to doubt the validity of the call when the search proves difficult. Even though the entire episode is comprised of Benson on speaker phone with the unseen girl, it's one of the more intense episodes of the series and the payoff is very rewarding.
Worst Episode
Smallville "Thirst"
Lana joins a sorority whose members turn out to be vampires and is turned into one herself. She bites Clark and feels his power inside her (hehe). She gets cured and has no memory of it all. Any episode where Lana gets super powers, by its very nature, sucks. It's not just the fact that she becomes stupid things like a vampire, a witch or a kung fu witch, but that all the episodes follow the same structure. Lana gets a power, Lana kicks everyone's ass, Lana finds out Clark's secrets, Lana is cured, Lana forgets everything. This episode is no different.
Funniest Moment
Mole Man vs. Rocket Man on Arrested Development
(credit to www.the-op.com for the screencaps)
Saddest Moment
Lex seals his fate on Smallville
Lex:"You know what the secret to living happily ever after is? Power! Money and Power. Since when you have those two things, you can secure everything else. And keep it that way."
In the Christmas episode "Lexmas", Lex considers whether he should allow his operative to uncover or fake damaging information on Jonathan Kent to use in the Senatorial Race. Before he can decide, Lex is shot and falls into a coma. In a "Family Man" scenario, Lex sees the way his life would be if he gave up his life at Lexcorp. He's married to Lana and has a son and a daughter on the way. He lives in the suburbs, drives a SUV, and is a beloved figure in Smallville. All he has to do to get this life is make the right decision. The catch though, is Lana will die in childbirth and without his Lexcorp resources, he can't do a thing to save her. For Lex, this is not an option and so, when he wakes from his coma, he proceeds with the plan to disgrace Jonathan Kent.
If we had to point at THE moment that Lex Luthor made his heel turn, a strong argument can be made that this is it. All of Lex's other deceptions can be attributed in part to ignorance and upbringing. In this case though, he is given clarity and total responsibility for his own fate from here on out. Like all great tragedies, the irony in his choice to fully embrace the dark side is that it's also his most heroic action.
Best Lost Shocker
Shannon is shot….by Ana Lucia, on Lost
Runner-Up:
Michael (typing on the computer): Is anyone there? Computer Screen: Dad?>
Best Buffy-Alumni
David Boreanaz as Seely Booth, on Bones
Brennan: What were you doing in Panama? Booth: Shooting a man in the heart while he ate his dinner.
This was a tough one to decide since all turned in solid performances in their post-Buffyverse roles. David Boreanaz (Angel) stars in Bones, James Marsters (Spike) is Braniac on Smallville, Alyson Hannigan (Willow) is locked in a scene stealing duel with Doogie Howser on How I Met Your Mother, Nicholas Brendon (Xander) is underused in Kitchen Confidential, Charisma Carpenter (Cordelia) is MILF-tastic on Veronica Mars and Amy Acker (Fred) is a big bad on Alias. Even though Marsters and Hannigan got the showier roles, Boreanaz locks it down every week as Booth, a sensitive, intelligent FBI agent who can be as much of a dumbass as he is a badass. Yeah, he's essentially playing Angel sans the vampire baggage but I'll take that.
Guy I want to be
Michael Scoffield (Wentworth Miller), Prison Break: Until Jack Bauer returns in January, Scoffield is the coolest cat on television right now. Brother wrongfully imprisoned? No problem, he's got an Ocean's 11 plan to bust him out. Cut off two of his toes? Doesn't even flinch. They were just the little ones anyways.
Girl I Want to Be With
Melinda Gordon (Jennifer Love Hewitt), Ghost Whisperer:
Let me give you two reasons.
Best House Comeback
Patient: My heart's red, your heart's red, it don't make no sense to give us different drugs. HouseYou know, I have found a difference. Admittedly, it's a limited sample but it's my experience in the last ninety seconds that all black people are morons. Sorry, African-Americans. Patient: I'll see another doctor. House: Fine. Fine. I'll give the same drug we give Republicans.
Some of you may have noticed that it seemed like I worked backwards, taking my favorite things from this season and forcing categories on them, and you wouldn't be completely wrong ;-). If you have any feedback or if you are violently against everything I believe in, drop me a line. HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone! Stay Safe. See you in 06.
