The Hardywood Holler! 01.04.06: Episode XI - The Dave Is Not Enough
Posted by David Hardy on 01.04.2006
Why X3 might suck, Anderson and Guillory back for Res Evil 3, Mary Poppins remake and all that usual jazz.
And here I was thinking the previous week was slow. This has probably been the most news-less week of the whole year. I guess it's understandable considering the Holiday break, but it's making me look bad! Just watch karma come and bite me on the arse next week and there will be a huge boom of news I have to relay to you.
Over the past few months I've been following production of next X-title - X3: X-Men 3. Well in the few blurbs of news over the past week, we were lucky to find out that yet another role has been cast for the movie. Before I get to that, though, isn't anyone else a bit suspicious that they're casting new rolls this late into production. I mean the majority of the film is shot and the first trailer came out several weeks ago. When rolls are filled this far into production, it can often lead to delayed and extended shoot, which usually means the movie will turn out weak or just plain bad.
Not only that, but the cast of the last movie was large enough as is. Now, they've added Angel, Beast, Callisto, Collossus, Juggernaut and Shadowcat to the mix already, now they're throwing in yet another. I'm a bit worried that the amount of characters they're throwing in will detract from the storyline altogether. Bad example, but it makes me think of Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. The first movie was well done but in the sequel they just seemed to be more interested in cramming in every last character that nobody got any development and the story just turned out to be ridiculously weak. One could argue that the first two X-Men also had large ensemble casts, but those were both directed by Bryan Singer, who apparently knew what he was doing. This one is directed by Brett Ratner, who, although he is a good director, hasn't had an experience working with a cast with so many important characters.
I really hope that I'm just over-worrying here, but seriously, take a look at all the mutants that we know about thus far in the movie:
We're already at twenty mutants. I doubt they will all be primary characters but the majority of them will be. Let's not forget that there will probably be even more mutants in lesser, quicker rolls like in the mansion and what not. But enough of my negative rambling. I'm sure the movie will turn out fine. Heck even Patrick Stewart is lovin' it:
"The script, I believe, is the best script of the three. It's very intense, it's very emotional, it's very personal about the individuals that we've already got to know in the first two movies. It has some astonishing set-piece sequences. It has a number of quite significant deaths. [From] what I've seen so far, I think, it's likely to be extraordinary. Some absolutely outstanding work is happening in Vancouver - including from some of the new people who've come onboard... If anyone saw Brett's Red Dragon, which I thought was an outstanding film, I don't think they have any reason to be nervous"
Hey, he's Jean-Luc Picard, he can do no wrong! Anyway, I'm still looking forward to the flick regardless and we all know it's gonna rake in a ton of cash. Now then, back to where I started. The role of Psylocke has been cast out of the blue. It's been given to a relatively unknown actress named Meiling Melancon. She's a twenty-five year old from Manilla, Philippines. She's apparently only appeared in two movies, one of which (Rush Hour 2) was directed by Brett Ratner himself. I wonder if she's cashing in on a special favor he owed her *wink wink, nudge nudge.* Anyway, she's not bad looking, take a look for yourself:
Not bad, but one thing: isn't Psylocke supposed to be British? I don't know if things have changed in recent years, but I've always known her as Elizabeth "Betsy" Braddock from the UK. Hell, she's my favorite Marvel chick ever and I completely own with her at all Marvel fighting games. She's always been this to me:
Yes, yes, I know I could have picked a more appropriate picture, but dammit, she's sexy! To make matters worse, they're casting her as a villain, as part of Magneto's "Brotherhood." This doesn't sit well with me. Betsy is a sexy British chick who fights on the side of good! Not only are they pooping on that, but the fact that she's being added this late into production means she won't be used as a major character, and will probably have minimal screen time. They better not give her the same treatment they gave Lady Deathstrike and have her as a nameless baddie who just gets iced by Wolvie. They better at least make her psi-blade look badass. And a sexy costume too. At least have this alien Psylocke pay some kind of homage to the one I know and love!
Then again she could be perfect for the part and Psylocke could have just changed over the years since the time I read the comics. Anyone care to fill me in?
Weekend Box Office
1. The Chronicles of Narnia - $32.8 million ($224.8 million)
2. King Kong - $31.5 million ($174.3 million)
3. Fun With Dick and Jane - $21 million ($64.5 million)
4. Cheaper by the Dozen 2 - $19.3 million ($55.1 million)
5. Rumor Has It - $11.6 million ($26.7 million)
6. The Family Stone - $10.2 million ($46.2 million)
7. Memoirs of a Geisha - $10 million ($30.4 million)
8. The Ringer - $8 million ($21.6 million)
9. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - $7.4 million ($276.9 million)
10. Munich - $6.1 million ($15.6 million)
Wow, the King has been overthrown by Narnia. Honestly, I didn't expect that to happen but I guess it is more of a kids movie and parents needed to do something with their brats over the Holiday break. Kong is lucky that it's doing well internationally, as it's falling well below expectations in North America. I figure Munich would be doing better by now but then again it hasn't had a huge release yet, so perhaps next week? Not a whole lot to say about the rest of the top ten other than I hope that The Ringer and Harry Potter both drop off soon. Oh yes, Rumor Has It should tumble down soon. Friggin' Jennifer Aniston!
Opening This Week:
Hostel
Grandma's Boy
Bloodrayne
Munich (Wide release)
Note: These news bits aren't really organized in any way, so don't think the top one if more important than a middle or bottom one.
Guillory To Reside With Evil Again The Story: Sienna Guillory is set to reprise her role as Jill Valentine and leading lady Milla Jovovich will once again play Alice in Sony Screen Gems' "Resident Evil: Afterlife". The pair join Mike Epps who confirmed a few weeks back that he would return during an interview. What's new in the story is that Leon Kennedy and Wekser (characters from the game) look to be appearing in the film and that shocking enough - Paul W.S. Anderson is tapped to direct once again, off a script he is currently writing. Source: Dark Horizons, Bloody Digusting.
The Pink: Great news! Sienna Guillory is one of the hottest girls ever, and was perfect as Jill Valentine. See? Do you see!?
And that picture doesn't even have the hot mini-skirt she wore in Res Evil: Apocalypse. Anyway, it's good that she's returning as she was my favorite thing about the sequel. Also, Leon Kennedy may be my favorite character in the whole game series. I look forward to seeing him on the big screen but I'm weary that they might screw it up.
The Stink: What about Oded Fehr reprising his role as Carlos Olivera? He was another bright spot of the sequel and I really hope they sign him for the third movie. And Paul Anderson directing again? Please no! Every movie this guy directs is mediocre at best with the exception of very few. I don't mind if he writes or produces, but please don't direct it!
Bond-age For Watts? The Story: Naomi Watts has apparently been offered the role of the new Bond girl in "Casino Royale" after producers were impressed with her performance in "King Kong." However, word is that Watts is apparently thinking about turning the role down due to fear of being typecasted in the future because of it. Angelina Jolie and Charlize Theron have already turned the role down. The role in question is of Russian vixen Vesper Lynd. Source: IMDB
The Pink: Naomi Watts is pretty and a good actress to boot. I think she could be a good Bond girl if given the right script. And she's worried about being typecast? Baloney! She's a big enough actress to do a Bond movie them move on to something else. Hell, Halle Berry did it, and she stinks! But Watts would be infinitely better then Jessica Simpson who was rumored to take the roll last week.
The Stink: I was really hoping for someone like Angelina Jolie or Jessica Alba to fill the roll. Sure, Watts is attractive, but she's know uber-babe like some of the other potential candidates. Then again I'm still hoping deep down inside that it will be Gina Gershon, so what do I know anyway? We all know this installment is gonna stink in the end.
Spielberg's "Poppin" Another Remake? The Story: Steven Spielberg is considering remaking "Mary Poppins". Richard Eyre, the former head of the National Theatre and director of the blockbuster West End musical based on the 1964 Disney film, has revealed that he has been in talks with Spielberg over a new film version. "We've talked about it a lot. It will be hard to outdo the original, but kids love the story and I'm sure that the remake will be a real success" Sir Richard was reported as saying yesterday. Source: The Independent
The Pink: It was a popular film and has potential to bring in younger viewers of today. And pretty much anything Spielberg touches turns to gold, so they probably have a bit of a hit on their hands if they go through with it. It will be interesting to see who they pick for the title role.
The Stink: You can't be serious! You can't remake Mary Poppins! It's untouchable, not to mention extremely dated. I really hope Spielberg devotes his time to something better than this.
Update! Steven Spielberg's rep Marvin Levy has debunked rumors that the director is developing a film version of "Mary Poppins". "I never heard of this and couldn't imagine Steven ever doing a remake of a classic - and a [Walt Disney] classic at that. There's a Broadway show from Disney but nothing involving us in any way" said Levy this weekend. Source: Spielberg Films. (Well, so much for that!)
Chan Has A Baby The Story: Jackie Chan has started shooting his latest kung-fu comedy, tentatively titled "BB" or "Baby," in Hong Kong with local helmer Benny Chan. Production kicked off before the recent announcement of the "Rush Hour 3" project, with shooting officially beginning this past Thursday. Story revolves around hijinx when small-time crooks steal a car without realizing a child is in it. Where the movie is unusual is that Chan plays a bad guy, though naturally one with a heart of gold. Gao Yuanyuan, Yuen Biao and Sammo Hung will also feature in the US $16.8 million Hong Kong-China co-production which is expected to wrap in March and premiere in October. Source: Variety
The Pink: This sounds like it could be a pretty fun little movie. Jackie Chan is always entertaining and with a story like this, he could have alot of fun.
The Stink: Why must Jackie make silly movies like this? He's a talented martial artist and should be doing more serious movies and less goofy shit like this. Sure, I like his funny movies, but can we at least mix it up a little bit?
I TOLD YOU THERE'S BEEN HARDLY ANY COOL NEWS!!!
Movie Reviews... In Haikus!
Wolf Creek Creepy shit from Oz
Has several gross moments
But should have been more
There were no more flicks
Opening in the past week
For me to review
:(
Annoying Celebrity Of The Week
GWYNNY PIG!
Unbelievable WWTDD has once again given me a reason to hate Gwyneth Paltrow. Her and her husband, douchebag extraordinaire, Chris Martin, have decided to name their next child "Capone." You know, like the infamous bad guy and killer? Gwyn say they wanted to name the child that because it is a name with character. I guess Apple wasn't enough. Poor kids. In addition to having talentless hicks for parents, they have names like Apple and Capone. These kids are gonna get beat up alot at school.
Check out this YTMND page. Not only does it have a great background picture, but it plays two Coldplay songs, one through the right channel and one through the left on your speakers. The songs are almost identical! Not only have they been totally ripping off U2, but now they're ripping off themselves. Fuck off, Coldplay!
The Sign Off
That does it for this slow week. Be sure to send in any comments, questions, corrections, insults or whatever. Anything really, I just like getting email. But until next week, take care of yourselves... and each other!
