Lost, Gay-Bashing, Warren Ellis, and the Suck List.
You want Movie news? Maybe some TV news?
I can't help you out. There's not much worth reporting or discussing. I mean, is there? It's all the same crap. Hey, guess what?!? CSI and American Idol are dominating the ratings! Again! And guess what else!?! A sucktified teeny-bopper horror movie is number one at the box office? Again!
But anyway – no news.
The Lost Section
I'm going to be discussing Season 2 episodes that have already run. If for some reason you are waiting to watch season two episodes, then you should consider this a SPOILER ALERT.
For those in the back, let me repeat. SPOILER ALERT.
The real meat and potatoes of this second season has been the saga of the other survivors of Oceanic flight 815 – weirdo Libby, jungle-feverish Bernard, bossy bitch Ana Lucia, and the silent-but-violent, blood-thirstiest, shoot-em-firstiest African warlord-turned priest called Mr. Eko.
There have been some great moments with the original, "classic" survivors, of course. I liked the shark stalking Mike and Sawyer. But for my money, the best bits of Season Two have come from the newbies. The flashbacks for Ana Lucia and Mr. Eko were easily the best flashbacks of the season… and they might even be the only good flashbacks this season. And then there was the glorious episode that featured no flashbacks, just tracing the history of the tail survivors, that was probably the best single ep this season.
But it isn't just the flashbacks. The tailies have injected some life into the show. It has been at the expense of other characters, of course, but quite frankly I'm growing weary of some of them, anyway. Jack, I'm looking at you, pal. Kate – you, too.
Mr. Eko has really emerged as the most intriguing character on the island, replacing my long-standing fave John Locke. The two characters are incredibly similar in many ways, the only difference being that beneath it all Eko is a killing machine. The interaction of these two characters is one of the hot-spots that could ignite the back end of this season into greatness.
Locke looked at the monster eye-to-eye, and lived to tell. In another encounter, the monster tried to drag him underground.
But when the monster bowed up on Mr. Eko, the mysterious Nigerian stared it down and sent it scampering off into the trees like a little bitch. Not to mention, when attacked by the deadly and nigh-unstoppable Others, Eko beats two of them to death with a fucking rock Now that, my friends, is Adibisi-style badassery in an intriguing new character.
Funny Thing of the Week
Check this out – someone re-cut the trailer for "Sleepless in Seattle" to make it look like a Meg Ryan-gone-bonkers psycho thriller. Much, much better than the movie itself. Worth a look.
http://www.tomatopatch.com/films/sleepless.htm
The Suck List in Detail
News Flash – If Jesus was Here, He Would Hate Gays, Too
(from the IMDB news page) Christian ministers who initially enthusiastically supported the Christian-themed End of the Spear, produced by Every Tribe Entertainment, became deeply divided after they learned that one of the stars of the film, Chad Allen, is openly gay, the New York Times reported today (Thursday). Opposition to the film was led by the Rev. Jason Janz, who encouraged a boycott by fundamentalist Christians, saying that having a gay man play the role of a Christian missionary was "like Madonna playing the Virgin Mary." Every Tribe has pointed out that some of the criticism verged on threats. For example, it noted, Kevin T. Bauder, president of Central Baptist Seminary in Minneapolis, said on his website, "Granted, we must not overreact. And it would probably be an overreaction to firebomb these men's houses. But what they have done is no mistake. It is a calculated strategy."
OK, we get it already – you hate gay people. Just like Jesus taught, you have hatred in your hearts, and you wish to strike out with great vengeance and furious anger at anyone who is openly gay or anyone who condones homosexuality. If Jesus were here, he would probably tell his followers to firebomb people's homes – and to do it when their families are at home, so they could really set an example by burning children in their beds.
(Sarcastic mode OFF)
You know, I understand that not all people accept homosexuality. I understand that some people genuinely believe it is sinful. And this being America, people are allowed to believe what they want. That is what makes this country great.
But for so-called Christians, people who claim to follow the example and teachings of Jesus Christ, to act with such venom and spite is a complete disgrace. Jesus taught love and acceptance; if you read the Bible, Christians, you will know that Jesus taught us to turn the other cheek, and to love not only our brother, but our enemy, as well. I'm not saying Christians have to accept gays into their hearts, but when they openly act with malice towards anyone who is gay it makes them look like hypocrites.
If you are a fag-basher, then you are not really a Christian. You make Baby Jesus cry.
For leaders of Christians, foul scum like these guys Janz and Bauder, to lead their people in an attack on a Christian movie for such a petty reason is ridiculous and outrageous. Someone should remind these guys that there is real evil in the world. And to suggest firebombing the homes of the Christian filmmakers, just because they stooped so low as to work with a – gasp – gay man? Go ahead and get the guy a pointy white hood, because that shit is nothing but low-down hate crime incitement, KKK style.
But the REAL news from this story is that a gay guy was acting. Who knew there were gays in movies these days?!? I mean, I knew they acted on stage, but in movies? Jeez, I guess they are much closer to world domination then I had dreamed. I just hope they don't get real gay guys for "Will & Grace" because those straight guys they have are convincing enough.
The Pull List
There are two sides to Warren Ellis these days.
Ellis is, of course, the genius comic writer behind the rejuvenated STORMWATCH that led directly into the creation of the original AUTHORITY. He is also the creator of PLANETARY (which will one day be acknowledged as one of the all-time great comic stories), not to mention the singular act of utter perfection known as GLOBAL FREQUENCY or the mind-liquefyingly good TRANSMETROPOLITAN.
Currently, he is one of the hardest working guys in the business. On the one hand, he is churning out stuff for Marvel comics in their Ultimate line of books. These books are meeting with mixed reaction. His run on "Ultimate Fantastic Four" seemed a little too padded for space, although I did find it a vast improvement over the previous writer (was it Bendis or Millar? I'm sure it was one of them, it always is). Meanwhile he is writing a trilogy of mini-series that culminates with the arrival of Ultimate Galactus… otherwise known as Ga-Lak-Tus. Once again, this work seems to be slowed down to pad it out to graphic-novel length. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the Marvel work, but it's watered down – no doubt because of editorial staff telling him "slow it down! Write more like Bendis!"
But even with his Marvel work, Ellis is keeping it real with a plethora of non-Marvel books that are some of the best on the racks today.
"Jack Cross" This mini just wrapped up, but is worth hunting down. It's no-nonsense straightforward spy shit, with heavy gunplay, massive fights, and eye-popping action. The story isn't anything remarkable, but the lead character of Cross is interesting, and I look forward to his next mini. Also, there is "Black Gas" a zombie book from Avatar – I just picked up the first ish of this, so I can't comment on it as of yet.
And now the Big Three Countdown – the three best Warren Ellis books on the stands.
"Fell" Drawn with freaky-dekey flair by Ben Templesmith, "Fell" follows a detective in seedy, desolate Snowtown. Each month he deals with a morbid and disturbing case, and each month he puts it to rest before the end credits. One of the reasons "Fell" is so good is that it can be read in any order. You don't have to catch every ish, because every story is self-contained. Another bonus is that Ellis and Templesmith worked it out so that every ish only costs 2 bucks.
Come for the low-low prices, stay for the style.
"Desolation Jones" Jones is an ex-black ops warrior, who has been permanently relocated to a neighborhood in LA that houses all retired spies and assassins. Oh yeah, and Jones is horribly scarred and twisted from a year spent being fucked with in the Desolation experiments. Well, our boy Jones is hired to find a stolen porn movie – the "holy grail" of porn, a dirty flick actually made by Adolf Hitler. As Jones digs into the case, he finds that it is really about a doomsday-cult that committed mass suicide, and a cover-up by the government agents involved.
"Jones" is gritty, grimy, and ugly as sin. It is porn and violence and perversion and freaks of nature… and damn, is it good.
"Down" This book personifies one of Ellis' strengths – shockingly violent action scenes. Our heroine is a ruthless cop with a penchant for executing rapists on the spot. She gets drafted to infiltrate a criminal organization and bring down the top guy – the top guy, incidentally, is the last cop who went undercover into said organization.
There is one issue left in "Down" With striking art, razor-sharp dialogue, and a fast moving plot, it is one to pick up.
The Suck List for 1/31/05
1. Kevin T Bauder
2. Rev. Jason Janz
3. People who say they only watch the Superbowl to see the commercials.
4. Michael Bay (permanent member, for his "Chainsaw Massacre" remake)
5. The brewing feud between John McCain and Barack Obama. C'mon, guys, you are the only two politicians I like – don't screw it up.
