The VICIOUS TV News Wrap for 02.28.06
Posted by Steve Vicious on 02.28.2006
Rockstar: Van Halen? Kelly Monaco versus Stacy Keibler? Simon Cowell's mouth is in trouble again, Heather Locklear back on TV, SNL's Tracy Morgan in trouble with the law, Joey to return to NBC and much more!
Intro:
I'm dedicating this edition of the Vicious TV News Wrap to 411's Ryan Latimer, who recently has fallen under the "burned out" syndrome that hits so many 411 writers after a certain period of time. I will also make a special mention to my fallen TV brother Steve Murrey, who was last seen delivering the Primetime News Rewind at the end of December 2005. I know Murrey is enjoying the Bret Hart "Wrestling with Shadows" DVD I sent him, so that's good. Of course, both Latimer and Murrey are 411 LEGENDS, and I hope for their returns in the near future. By the way, Ryan, I'm dedicating this edition to you because I would like my name mentioned in your book.
Random TV News/Thoughts/Gossip/etc: - Tracy Morgan's DUI (News)
Former Saturday Night Live alum Tracy Morgan was sentenced last week to 3-years of probation due to a DUI (Driving Under the Influence) he received in December 2005. I hear that he is currently working on a new sitcom with help from SNL's Tina Fey. Morgan used to have a show on NBC, but I'm sure none of you remember it because I just remembered it myself right now.
- Lifetime is back on Dish Network (News/Thoughts)
Damn it! The chick channel is back on air. OUTRAGE!!!
- Battlestar to become Lawless
Lucy Lawless (Xena: Warrior Princess) will reprise her role of D'Anna Biers on the Sci-Fi channel's Battlestar Galactica upcoming third season. She will be around for at least 10 episodes.
- WrestleMania 22: Stacy Keibler versus Kelly Monaco (Gossip)
Yes, there seems to be a feud between the two lovely women mentioned above and I was not aware of it. Anyway, Kelly Monaco threw the first punch as she made some rather interesting comments regarding WWE Diva Stacy Keibler around Super Bowl weekend. Kelly mentioned this when asked about Stacy during the interview: "That chick is like 7 feet tall, and blond, and her ass is out to here. Her legs are as tall as me!" Kelly has green eyes, folks. She is also not very fond of the new season of her former show. If Vince McMahon has any kind of brain at all (it's hard to tell these days), he MUST find a way to bring Monaco in for anything Stacy Keibler related at WrestleMania 22. I'm still shocked that the idiots over at ABC allowed a former PROFESSIONAL DANCER to dance on their show with other celebrities who are not as experience as her. Plus, she'll leave the WWE soon for Hollywood, which was SO predictable. Good riddance because she never did anything in wrestling, other than showing her tight ass in tiny skirts. What a bitch. Thank god she didn't win the damn thing.
- Flavor of Love's women
Did anyone else catch Sunday's episode of VH1's Flavor of Love? For those of you who missed it, Flavor Flav decided it was time to meet the remaining three girls' parents. My favorite part of the episode was when Flav met New York's parents. Her dad seemed cool, but NY's mom was such a bitch. Jesus Christ, even for a woman, she was such a f**king c*nt. She mocked Flav for being 46-years-old and for wearing a giant clock around his neck that doesn't even work! Then the mom said that Flav was "not a man." She also forbids her daughter from marrying Flav. Bitches suck. Of course, the rest of the episode was a reality show train wreck as "Pumkin" spit on "New York's" face and that led to some catty stuff (NY shoved Pumkin into the camera guy!). That was too funny. Reality TV is the perfect place to study the human mind, says Steve Vicious. Anyway, I'm picking "Hoopz" as Flav's new squeeze. We'll find out next week.
- CMT's Trick My Truck
I'm sure most of you have come across the show "Pimp My Ride" on MTV, right? Well, there's a show on CMT (Country Music Television?) that is basically the same idea. I'm not sure if Viacom owns CMT, but I'm guessing it does, so now lawsuit in the near future.
- ROCKSTAR: VAN HALEN? (Gossip)
Anyone else hear the rumors of Van Halen being the new band on CBS' Rockstar's second season this summer? I know Dave Navarro (former Red Hot Chili Pepper and Jane's Addiction member) was questioned about it earlier this week on CNBC's "The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch" regarding the rumors. Of course, he denied it. Yet, the rumors still persist. I don't know, I would rather have no Van Halen than ANOTHER lead singer taking over. Sure it worked for INXS, but they really didn't have much of an option of reuniting with their lead man. Note to Van Halen: Kiss and make-up already! We want Sammy!
- Dick Wolf's Conviction (News)
Yes, ANOTHER Dick Wolf show will be appearing on NBC this coming Friday night (10PM). I do know that Wolf was pissed after NBC axed "Law & Order: Trial by Jury" last season, so I guess this is a freebie from the higher-ups at NBC.
- Sanford & Son weekend marathon!!!
All weekend long on March 4th & 5th on TV Land. Should be excellent and a nice way of celebrating my birthday (March 5th, btw).
- My first taste of Taradise (Thoughts)
Since there is nothing fun to watch at night (how many times can a guy watch repeats of Roseanne on Nick@Nite?!), I decided to sit my ass down and check out E!'s Taradise, starring the "lovely" and "talented" Tara Reid. This episode involved Tara visiting the island of Cyprus and doing what she does best: being f**king drunk and slurring her speech. The one bright episode of the episode, and probably of the entire series, is that she shows a lot of cleavage. As I type, she is taking shots of god knows what. How many times can a woman become drunk in one episode? Who knows when it comes to Tara Reid. However, it was interesting to see her face light up when some guy offered her free whine.
- Joey to return after all (News)
This sounds like good news, right? WRONG! NBC has decided to have their struggling sitcom Joey on TUESDAY NIGHTS at 8PM! What's the big deal, right? Well, a little show called American Idol airs at that timeslot, so you can pretty much assume why NBC put Joey there in the first place -- they want it to fail in the ratings and find a justifiable reason to cancel it. The same can be said for Scrubs, but I will not get into it right now. More good news for you Joey fans, the show will be coming to DVD on May 30th.
- Simon Cowell doesn't like Fat People (News)
Yes, the American Idol judge has gotten himself in trouble with fat activists over his comments regarding Idol contestant Anthony Andolino's weight. The comments were made after he was eliminated. Cowell said: "Just as well, we couldn't afford the food bill." OUCH. First it was gay people, now it is fat people. I hope 411's Tim O'Sullivan has his peeps over in the United Kingdom stone him for acting like a woman.
- Heather Locklear's 135th new show is coming!
I find it amazing that any network will still give former Melrose's Place star and recently divorced Heather Locklear a new show. Any show she shows up on or stars is doomed (not counting MP or her 80's work). She is currently in negotiations to star in an ABC sitcom tentatively called "Women of a Certain Age," I'm sure you can guess what ABC's target demographic is there -- bitches! Locklear last starred on the cancelled and awful LAX for NBC a few seasons ago. She's still hot, so eh.
- "Love Monkey" is gone for good? (Gossip)
Yes, it now seems almost official that CBS will NOT be bringing back the lukewarm dramedy "Love Monkey" starring the great Tom Cavanagh. CBS will now air the new season of Amazing Race in its Tuesday 10PM timeslot. All is not as bad as you might think for Tom Cavanagh, as his wife recently welcomed a new baby into their family. Keep it up, Tom. We want Ed on DVD!!!
- RIP: Don Knotts (News)
In much sadder news this week, television Icon Don Knotts passed away from lung cancer at UCLA Medical Center last Friday night. Knotts co-starred on the legendary 1960s CBS series "The Andy Griffith Show" as Officer Barney Fife and in the 1970s ABC sitcom "Three's Company" as the hilariously silly landlord Ralph Furley. I'm sure TV Land will give the man a well deserved tribute sometime soon.
TV on DVD News
- Rescue Me: The Complete 2nd Season coming in May!
The show is coming to DVD on May 9th. It seems that the winning artwork was the one I DID NOT pick! I will definitely pick this set up when it is released.
The Vicious TV Mini-Wrap:
- Justice League Unlimited: "Patriot Act" [02.25.06]
Sadly, none of the major members of the Justice League appeared in this episode. However, we did end up getting a few 3rd stringers who fought the military general who hates Superman. The military general decides to take some serum that turns him into a weird looking version of Doomsday. Of course, the JL scrubs manage to have their asses kicked in spectacular fashion, but they are saved by the humans there who point out to the general that he has become the villain. This was too sappy for my tastes. You know, the ratings for the show could be a LITTLE better if they didn't focus so much on these JLU losers. ***1/2
- American Dad: "It's Good to be the Queen" [02.26.06]
Stan looks forward to dancing with Francine at her high-school reunion, only to learn her title of Homecoming Queen was a mistake. Stan decides to dance with the real Homecoming Queen, which angers Francine. This all leads to the case of the double Stans. Meanwhile, Steve & Roger hang out with a pizza delivery guy who looks a lot like Jesus Christ. Steve forsakes the guy after he picks Roger over him. Hailey & Klaus gets high via brownies. Once again, Steve & Roger steal the show, although their time was limited. ***1/2
TV Nielsen Ratings for February 13-19, 2006
1. American Idol- Wednesday (FOX) 16.2
2. American Idol- Tuesday (FOX) 15.5
3. Grey's Anatomy (ABC) 15.0 -- ?!
4. Desperate Housewives (ABC) 14.2
5. Winter Olympics Monday primetime (NBC) 12.8
6. Dancing with the Stars (ABC) 12.2
7. CSI (CBS) 11.9
7. Winter Olympics Thursday PT (NBC) 11.9
9. Winter Olympics Sunday PT (NBC) 11.6
10. House (FOX) 11.5
New TV on DVD February 28, 2006
Beast Machines: Transformers- The Complete Series
Charmed: The Complete 4th Season
Ellen: The Complete Season 3
The Drew Carey Show: Television Favorites (Pick of the Week)
The Lawless Years: Season 1
NewsRadio: Season 3
Night Court: Television Favorites
Rosemary & Thyme: Season 2
The Vicious TV Babe of the Week: Kelly Monaco Kelly Monaco was one of the main highlights for ABC's Dancing with the Stars' first season last year and with good reason -- she's F**KING HOT! Unfortunately, her personality leaves a LOT to be desired and I say that because I watched an episode of MTV's Punk'd where she was a total bitch. My favorite part was where she accused a guy of shoving something up her ass (figuratively speaking, of course). Anyway, Monaco ended up winning the Dancing with the Stars competition until J. Peterman decided that he was cheated and they later had a dance-off where he won the title from Ms. Monaco. Also, Kelly is currently "feuding" with WWE diva Stacy Keibler over nothing, although I'm guessing someone does not want to give up what little spotlight they once had. Hey, she's hot! That's all that matters.
- Tracy Morgan's DUI (News)
- WrestleMania 22: Stacy Keibler versus Kelly Monaco (Gossip)
- ROCKSTAR: VAN HALEN? (Gossip)
- Sanford & Son weekend marathon!!!
- Joey to return after all (News)
- Heather Locklear's 135th new show is coming!
- RIP: Don Knotts (News)
Kelly Monaco was one of the main highlights for ABC's Dancing with the Stars' first season last year and with good reason -- she's F**KING HOT! Unfortunately, her personality leaves a LOT to be desired and I say that because I watched an episode of MTV's Punk'd where she was a total bitch. My favorite part was where she accused a guy of shoving something up her ass (figuratively speaking, of course). Anyway, Monaco ended up winning the Dancing with the Stars competition until J. Peterman decided that he was cheated and they later had a dance-off where he won the title from Ms. Monaco. Also, Kelly is currently "feuding" with WWE diva Stacy Keibler over nothing, although I'm guessing someone does not want to give up what little spotlight they once had. Hey, she's hot! That's all that matters.
