The Hardywood Holler! 03.15.06
Posted by David Hardy on 03.15.2006
New Stephen King movies, Crouching Tiger Pre/Sequels, NINJA TURTLES RETURN, Spidey's eye continues to puzzle, Teri Hatcher annoys, the new poster of the week and all your favorite weekly features!
Episode XXVI
Mailbag
Got some more thoughts regarding the object that may or may not be reflecting in Spider-Man's eye in the new Spidey poster. See anything?
Here's what you thought:
From Drew:
I've looked closely. Now it could be Venom...but I honestly think it's Goblin. I think Peter's friend who's the son of Goblin in the first film uses the suit and ether turns on Spiderman, making it 3 on 1, or we have ourselfs a Tag team battle going on here.
Thanks, Drew. It's very possible that it could be the Goblin, as he's supposed to be one of the baddies in the third flick. Who knows, he may even turn to the good side.
I'm not sure what you're seeing but if you look at the spider-man poster
sideways, the image in his eye definitely looks like the green goblin mask /
helmet. This would make sense with rumor of the rise of harry osborn as the new
green goblin / hobgoblin. Also, as for the second poster, I doubt its is
authentic because the link on the bottom of the poster is not real.
Cheers
Ace
Thanks, Ace! There's another on the Goblin bandwagon. Turns out his role in the film might be bigger than we expected.
I just wanted to comment on your recent article about Spidey's eye. If you haven't noticed it yet, if you turn your head to the left, almost horizontal, you can see a face. It almost looks like the Goblin. Now, I had to email you to see if I was nuts!
R. Shultz
Thanks, Bob! Either we're all crazy, or the Green Goblin is the apple of the Spidey's eye!
Weekend Box Office
1. Failure to Launch - $24.6 million ($24.6 million)
2. The Shaggy Dog - $16 million ($16 million)
3. The Hills Have Eyes - $15.5 million ($15.5 million)
4. 16 Blocks - $7.3 million ($22.7 million)
5. Madea's Family Reunion - $5.8 million ($55.7 million)
6. Eight Below - $5.4 million ($66.4 million)
7. Aquamarine - $3.65 million ($12.1 million)
8. Ultraviolet - $3.6 million ($14.7 million)
9. The Pink Panther - $3.5 million ($74.6 million)
10. Date Movie - $2.5 million ($44.2 million)
Wow, I never thought Failure To Launch would do so well. Hopefully it will fall off soon, because it, coupled with The Shaggy Dog is just lame. The Hills Have Eyes, though, is surprisingly good, so go see that. Madea's Family Reunion is finally starting to drop after a couple undeserved weeks on top. The rest is pretty much as expected. Did the producers of Ultraviolet really think it was going to be a hit? Seriously, this must be the biggest bomb of the year already. The best thing it's got going for it is Milla Jovovich's ass. Ah hell, it just wouldn't be the same unless I threw in a sexy pic... so here's one of Milla.
Opening This Week
V For Vendetta
She's The Man
Thank You For Smoking
Note: These news bits aren't really organized in any way, so don't think the top one is more important than a middle or bottom one.
Haggis Is Against All Enemies The Story: Paul Haggis ("Crash") is in final talks to direct "Against All Enemies." He will also supervise James Vanderbilt who is writing the script. The film will be based on Richard A. Clarke's best-selling memoir, "Enemies"and chronicles how the Bush administration handled the al-Qaida threat before and after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. Clarke, a former U.S. terrorism czar, offers the ultimate insider's account into the nation's security apparatus, featuring a cast of power brokers that includes President Bush, Condoleezza Rice, Donald Rumsfeld and Clarke. Source: Hollywood Reporter
The Pink: I'm actually much more interested in a movie about the handling of the the attacks than I am about a movie about the attacks themselves. Haggis will certainly bring the goods, and I think this could be a real sleeper hit. This will certainly create a lot of controversy, which may actually help the movie, much like it did with Fahrenheit 9/11.
The Stink: This actually kind of sounds like it could be a dramatic movie based on Fahrenheit 9/11. Take that as you will.
Cusack Visits Room 1408 The Story: John Cusack will star in the bigscreen adaptation of Stephen King's short story "1408" for helmer Mikael Hafstrom ("Derailed") and Dimension Films. Penned by "The People vs. Larry Flynt" scribes Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski, pic centers on a debunker of paranormal occurrences who encounters real terror when he checks into notorious Room 1408 at the Dolphin Hotel. Pic will lense this summer. Location is yet to be determined. Source: Variety
The Pink: I don't really know many of the details, but the story sounds like it could be very interesting. Not to mention John Cusack usually brings a great performance with him to any role, I think he'll be great in this.
The Stink: Movies based on Stephen King stories usually are very disappointing. And as much as I love Cusack, it seems he plays more or less the same character in every movie. I'm looking forward to this, but I'm also going to remain weary of the potential let downs.
The Dirty Dozen Returns! The Story: Warner Bros. and Village Roadshow Pictures will co-finance a remake of the classic 1967 actioner "The Dirty Dozen". The studio has set "Con Air" scribe Scott Rosenberg to team with "Alias" writer-producers Andre Nemec and Josh Appelbaum on a script that will contemporize the storyline. The 1967 actioner starred Lee Marvin as a major who conscripts twelve condemned soldier-prisoners for a dangerous mission in WWII. Joel Silver will produce with Susan Downey. Downey drafted the scribes after reading a remake the trio wrote of the 1986 daring-mission-pic "Let's Get Harry." That pic hasn't been made yet. Downey also says "We're giving this version a personal stake. The mission isn't about finding gold or weapons or blowing up a castle. There is a personal element to it". Source: Variety
The Pink: This was a great movie 40 years ago and I think it could translate very well to todays movie standards. I actually look forward to see what they do with this flick. I wonder if it will be modernized with the prisoners going to the war in Iraq, or if they will stick with WWII.
The Stink: Remake suck more often than not. Especially if they are remakes of really good flicks like this one. Again, I look forward to it, but I won't keep my expectations high.
Crouching Sequel, Hidden Prequels The Story: The Weinstein Co. has acquired worldwide rights to "Crane-Iron Pentalogy," a series of five martial arts novels written by Wang Du Lu. They include "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon," the fourth novel in the group but the first of them planned for on-stage theatrical productions. The others include "Crane Frightens KunLun," "Precious Sword, Golden Hairpin," "Sword Spirit, Pearl Light" and "Iron Knight, Silver Vase". Harvey Weinstein also envisions "a series of great films, much like the 'Lord of the Rings' trilogy" from the books, which follow three generations of a fighting family during the Qing dynasty". They will in effects serve as prequels and sequels to "Crouching Tiger," which will not itself be remade for the screen. Source: Hollywood Reporter
The Pink: I really enjoyed the action sequences in Crouching Tiger and would love to see four more movies like it. The movie did well and others in the series will surely grab the interest of the general public. Hopefully they will have more fighting and less artsy crap.
The Stink: The artsy crap. The stuff like balancing on a tree branch and jumping on water kind of ruined Crouching Tiger for me. Also, I felt the movie was ridiculously overrated. It wasn't horrible, but completely over-hyped. I hope the same thing doesn't happen with these flicks.
Turtle Power Returns To The Big Screen The Story: The new CG-animated "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" movie will be released May 30th, 2007. Kevin Munroe wrote the screenplay and will direct. It is reported also that the CGI movie will be darkier and grittier than the previous three live-action Ninja Turtles films from the 1990s. Source: Hollywood Reporter
The Pink: Hell yeah! As a huge fan of the Turtles all my life, I must say I'm very excited about this. And the idea of making it darker and grittier is a great idea, as the three movies gradually got more goofier and stupid after the dark first one. If they stick to the more violent formula of the graphic novel and first movie, this one will surely kick ass on all levels.
The Stink: There's a bit of disppointment that it's CGI instead of costumes, but I don't think that's a huge issue. CGI characters are certainly more versatile and if they do what was done with characters like Golum and King Kong, they can make the CGI look very realistic.
Jack Black In The Country The Story: Jack Black has joined Nicole Kidman and Jennifer Jason Leigh in the untitled film by Noah Baumbach ("The Squid and the Whale") for Paramount Classics. Black will play the husband of a young woman who is visited at her upstate home by her sister and 12-year-old nephew. Baumbach's script originally was titled "Nicole in the Country," until that became too literal when Kidman committed. Pic begins lensing April 2nd on Long Island. Source: Variety
The Pink: Jack Black is the man and always make a movie instantly good. He showed with King Kong that he can do more than just comedy so I'm sure he'll pull off a "dramedy" wth ease.
The Stink: I'd really rather Jack Black do comedies. It's where he excels at and I really hope he doesn't make doing serious movies a permanent thing.
Roth Answers King's Cell The Story: Dimension Films has acquired rights to Stephen King's latest novel "Cell" and has set "Hostel" helmer Eli Roth to direct it once he wraps up work on "Hostel 2". King's novel is a throwback to his early apocalyptic horror novels. In a single moment, a pulse sent out through cell phones around the world turns every phone user into a crazed, murderous zombie. Roth wants to write the pic or co-write it, depending on the time constraints. Bob Weinstein says the fast progress to production on the adaptation of upcoming King novella thriller "1408" helped the studio's cause. Source: Variety
The Pink: Holy doodle, two King adaptations in one week! I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but this sounds like it could be a fun popcorn flick. Roth showed us in Hostel that he can make a decent suspenseful horror flick, especially when it comes to gory stuff. Fortunately for him, and gore fans, this story looks to be right up his alley. I won't expect anything groundbreaking, but it should be an entertaining, mindless couple hours in the cinema.
The Stink: I already mentioned that movies based on King books tend to stink, and this doesn't look to be one of his more complex thrillers. With recent zombie movies Dawn of the Dead, 28 Days Later, Resident Evil: Apocalypse, and Land of the Dead, the genre seems to be getting crowded, and it will be interesting to see if Roth and King can bring something new and exciting to the rather played out formula.
The Hanks' Work Magic The Story: Tom Hanks and his son Colin Hanks will star in "The Great Buck Howard" which has now landed financing and is moving forward. Colin Hanks will play an aspiring magician who goes to work for a famous illusionist. Tom Hanks, in a supporting role, will play the disapproving father of the character played by his real-life son. Source: Variety
The Pink: You just know that the Hanks' will have good chemistry. The story sounds interesting, and it's not very often we see good magician movies. Tom Hanks is always excellent.
The Stink: Colin Hanks really hasn't impressed me with anything yet.
Tut Rules The Big Screen The Story: Paramount has purchased a pitch on King Tut from screenwriter Neil Crawford. The film will be an action/adventure-romance film, loosely based on the discovery of Tut's treasures in Egypt in 1922. Source: Variety
The Pink:
King Tut (King Tut)
Now when he was a young man
He never thought he'd see
People stand in line to see the boy king
(King Tut) How'd you get so funky?
(funky Tut) Did you do the monkey?
Born in Arizona
Moved to Babylonia (king Tut)
(king Tut) Now, if I'd known
they'd line up just to see him
I'd trade in all my money
And bought me a museum. (king Tut)
Buried with a donkey (funky Tut)
He's my favorite honkey!
Born in Arizona
Moved to Babylonia (king Tut)
Dancin' by the Nile, (Disco Tut)
The ladies love his style, (boss Tut)
Rockin' for a mile (rockin' Tut)
He ate a crocodile
He gave his life for tourism
Golden idol!
He's an Egyptian
They're sellin' you
Now, when I die
now don't think I'm a nut
don't want no fancy funeral
Just one like ole king Tut (king Tut)
He coulda won a Grammy
Buried in his Jammies
Born in Arizona, moved to Babylonia
He was born in Arizona, got a condo made of stone-a
King Tut!
The Stink: Sorry, I HAD to do that!
Poster Of The Week
I figured I'd add in a new feature to spruce up the Holler, so who doesn't like looking at posters? Here's our inaugural new poster of the week:
Spooky huh? Don't really know much about the movie other than it's a remake of a Japanese horror flick. Haven't we had enough of those? Anyway, cool looking poster.
Movie Reviews... In Haikus!
Failure To Launch Average romance
Played out formula that sucks
With actors asleep
The Shaggy Dog Lame family flick
Allen deserves much better
I miss the toolman
The Hills Have Eyes Surprisingly good
Horror remake that excels
Bests original
Annoying Celebrity Of The Week
Teri Hatcher
That's right, Miss Hatchet has finally made her way to my annoying celebrity list. Of course I've always hated her, but never had any specific event to put her on the list, but finally the moment has come. Now she's gracing every magazine cover moaning on about how she was molested like fifty years ago or something. First of all, why would anyone wanna do anything remotely sexual with that fugly wildebeast? Secondly, who cares? This is a wench who thinks she's some sort of mega star because she's on Desperate Housewives, a below average show that just happened to make it big, because it was the best thing to come out of a shitty year. Her career was DEAD up until then, and has since turned into a diva. She's even considering quitting the show to make movies. Because she's such a huge star, of course. Go to hell, Teri.
An awesome site dedicated to the best movies, shows and commercials of the 70s, 80s, and 90s. It's awesome watching the intros to my old favorite cartoons again. Check it out, but be forewarned, you might lose several hours in there! DO THE MARIO!
The Sign Off
That's it for now! Be sure to tune in to the Holler in the coming weeks, as I willl be having interviews with some MAJOR celebrities! Tune in next time, same Hardy time, same Hardy website!
