March Madness, Gator-Style. Plus, the Next Wave of Adult Swim Cartoons, and Harrison Ford tells kids to get off his lawn!
The Idiot Box Proper
As you probably do not know, I live in Gainesville, Florida, just up the street from the University of Florida. I'm so close to the Swamp that I can sit in my front yard and listen to the crowd and the loudspeakers. I have matriculated at UF, and after dropping out, spent many more years working there.
Now, when coupled with the fact that, to me, the NCAA tournament is the single greatest sporting event of the year. I could give a shit about the World Series, the NBA championship, or even the Super Bowl. The Stanley Cup is second place, but even it can't touch March Madness.
This is just to give you a little context, because with these two factors coupled together, I am
MARKING THE FUCK OUT FOR THE GATORS
Final Four, baby.
I've watched every single televised Gator basketball game this season, and attended three of them at the O Dome. I've cringed at their inconsistency – they have enough weapons that usually someone is hot that night, but almost every player on the team runs hot and cold. And sometimes I've questioned the judgment of Billy D, the coach.
But obviously, I was wrong. Billy D knew what he was doing, getting these young kids whipped into shape as a great TEAM.
But of course there was one other factor – when Joakim Noah got smashed in the mouth with a blatant elbow intended to injure him. He spit up some teeth and blood, missed a game, but when he came back he was DRIVEN. And he is the type of player that the rest of the team can feed off of, a true leader who made the rest of the Gator squad step up to the next level.
Noah will lead us to the championship game, and then to the title itself.
And if I'm wrong, I'll deal with it. But I'm not wrong.
OK, now let's scoot over to some Stupid News, NCAA style…
INDIANAPOLIS (AP) -- Jim Boeheim wants more schools playing in the NCAA tournament, and his coaching colleagues appear to agree.
The Syracuse coach believes the tournament field should expand from its current 65 teams and hopes to start lobbying for an increase Friday during a meeting with the National Association of Basketball Coaches.
"I have a number in mind, I think it should probably be about four to six, somewhere in there," Boeheim said Thursday. "The problem really is that it shouldn't come down to logistics."
The field expanded from 48 to 64 in 1985, then added a 65th team to the field in 2001 when the NCAA increased the number of automatic bids from 30 to 31.
Boeheim believes the rapid increase in Division I schools, to more than 300, and increased parity, as demonstrated by George Mason reaching the Final Four, indicates its time to include more teams.
From MICHAEL MAROT, AP Sports Writer
No no no no NO! I don't even like the "field of 65." 64 is plenty. 64 is perfect. I understand there are more division one schools now, but that just means the tourney is more exclusive… it MEANS more. It raises the level of competition. Let them make the NIT bigger, but leave the field of 64 alone.
Adult Swim Unveils Five – count ‘em – FIVE New Shows
Brendon Small, known for the series Home Movies, cocreated Death Clock Metalocalypse about a Norwegian heavy metal band called Deathklok. Although they rock to the top of the charts with gusto, they are also incredibly stupid and leave a path of destruction and mayhem behind wherever they tour. Mark Hamill of Star Wars and James Hetfield and Kirk Hammet of real metal band Metallica pop in for voice duties on the series, which premieres in August.
This is a great idea for a cartoon. I am 100% sold on the concept, and hope Small can deliver the goods.
In Frisky Dingo, from the creators Sealab 2021, the hero Awesome-X is torn by conflicting desires. Part of him wants to stop the villainous Killface from destroying the world. The other part of him wants to focus on selling Awesome-X action figures so his awesome alter ego, billionaire playboy Xander Crews, can continue living his billionaire playboy lifestyle.
I am a huge "Sealab" mark, and have been for years. If they can bring the same brand of humor into a new cartoon, I think it will be solid gold. And besides, how can you go wrong if your villain is named KILLFACE?
Live-action and green-screen puppetry combine with animation to produce Saul of the Mole Men. When scientist Saul Malone crashes his drill ship in the earth's core, he peeves off the mole men, a race of subterranean dwellers. The series takes a twisted comedic look at politics, time travel, vampires, and bad special effects.
The jury is out on this one.
Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil is all about, you guessed it, Lucy, the daughter of the devil. The series just goes to show that even the devil has trouble raising a girl with family values. Lucy doesn't really like what dad does for a living, and she rebels by dating a hippie DJ. The CG-animated series is from the producer of Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist and stars Jon Benjamin (the voice of Coach McGuirk on Home Movies) as the Devil.
Jon Benjamin as Coach McGuirk was always the best part of "Home Movies." And then he was memorable as Mothmonsterman on "Aqua Teens." I absolutely love his voice work, and with him playing the Devil, I will definitely check it out.
Sure to appeal to 13-year-old boys of all ages is Assy McGee, a series about a vigilante police sniper who looks like a giant butt. Assy McGee is a tough-as-nails cop who is fed up with a society he thinks bends over for crime. When crime gets down-and-dirty, Assy doesn't quiver and run or let regulations stop him up--he just dumps the rules into the toilet. Assy McGee plops onto the schedule in December.
Um… yeah.
One last little tidbit
From the files of "Who Knew?" Magazine
Harrison Ford hates the internet, because it means anyone can spread malicious gossip about him. The actor, who plays a computer-security specialist in his latest film Firewall, sees a need to censor his words to avoid being misrepresented online. He says, "The worst thing about the internet is that anything and everything is up for grabs. How can that be, when I limit my public conversations to about once every couple of years? Any kind of rubbish goes on the internet and it can have a f**king life of its own."
People are talking about Harrison Ford? Who knew?
Harrison… Han… Indy… I love you man, but pipe the fuck down.
The Suck List for 3/31/06
The Suck List has been cancelled this week. The Gators are in the Final Four, and by this time next week they will National Goddamn Champions.
