411 Movies Roundtable: April '06
Posted by Scott Rutherford on 04.03.2006
I know you're here for the wrestling this Monday but you can also read about movies!
The Month That Was
Scott Rutherford
Biggest Winner of the Months: I suppose in this post Oscar month Crash would be a great place to start. Add a little Phillip Seymor Hoffman and more than a dose of Reese Witherspoon (hubba hubba) and you probably can't go wrong. Biggest Loser of the Month: So the flip side of this would be Ang Lee who managed to win Best Director and still find something to complain about. Dude, we know Brokeback Mountain is good but it doesn't mean you automatically win an Oscar. Biggest Movie News of the Month: It may seem weird but the overwhelmingly glowing reviews for V For Vendetta are a good thing. After the Matrix Trilogy is was debatable if the Wachoski Brother still had "it" and when you add the fact that the action movie genre is NOT in the best shape this bodes well. Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month: Call me kooky but American Dreamzsounds like allot of fun. I mean, even if nothing else works Hugh Grant playing Simon Cowell will be worth the price of admission. Recommended DVD Release of the Month: 40 Year Old Virgin. BEST COMMENTARY TRACK EVER. Ignore the fact it came out last month. Classic Movie of the Month: Say Anything. I should call this an underloved classic. Is the essential movie to view if you want to know why John Cusack and Cameron Crow rule Movie Quote of the Month: Dude, you've got to tell her. Seriously. You can pass off two dates without a kiss as being old fashioned - you go three and you're a homo. Ryan (Paulo Costanzo) 40 Days & 40 Nights
George H. Sirois
Biggest Winner of the Month: Shannon Elizabeth. She is now officially the 411mania Nude Scene MVP! And even though I missed my chance to participate in that Top 5 list, she was my number 1 pick as well. Shannon, you made us proud! Both of you! Biggest Loser of the Month: Jerome "Chef" McElroy. This was a great man who touched children and adults alike with his influence in the music business. He hooked Elton John up with Bernie Taupin. He took a wimpy little singer named Cous Cous and turned him into Meat Loaf. His hit song "Stinky Britches" was re-made by both Alanis Morissette and Marilyn Manson. He led "Operation Human Shield" against the Canadian Army. He was one of the great lovers of women. He was a God in the eyes of the students of South Park Elementary. But the man who gave him his voice, Isaac Hayes, decided to cast Chef's dreams into oblivion by walking off the show that rejuvenated his career. And why? Because after all these years of South Park having some laughs with every other religion and race Matt and Trey could think of, the line was drawn with Scientology. Thanks to Isaac and his stinky britches, Jerome "Chef" McElroy has missed out on his chance for animated immortality. It's a damn shame, but considering the way "The Return of Chef" came together, he definitely went out on a high note... Biggest Movie News of the Month: It's not much in terms of nationwide buzz, but the Ziegfeld Theater in New York City should be applauded for screening a series of Hollywood Classics in their theater – which is known as the biggest in the city. Because of them, I realized a dream by seeing 2001: A Space Odyssey on a movie screen, which is the only way it should really be shown. Throughout February and March, they've shown The Godfather I & II, Chinatown, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Doctor Zhivago, North by Northwest, Singin' in the Rain, all three Indiana Jones films, all three Lord of the Rings films, Braveheart, Gladiator, Ben-Hur, and Lawrence of Arabia. Bravo, Ziegfeld. Now give us some more advance warning next time you do this! Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month: Based on what I've seen in the list, I'll have to go with Killer Diller as my pick. Recommended DVD Release of the Month: I know it came out in March, but the one I'm most anxious to own is the 2-Disc Special Edition of Network. Classic Movie of the Month: Heathers, 1988. After watching this last night for the first time in years and taking in all the different elements – teenage murder/suicide, a young man who carries a gun and plots to blow up a school, and a father who likes to blow up buildings – there's no way in Hell this could ever be made today. And in the age of constant remakes, a movie that nobody these days would touch with a ten-foot pole can be considered a true classic. Movie Quote of the Month: "Betty Finn was a true friend and I sold her out for a bunch of swatch dogs and diet coke heads. Killing Heather will be like offing the Wicked Witch of the West… or East, West! God I sound like a fucking psycho!" -- Veronica Sawyer, Heathers
Tim O'Sullivan
Biggest Winner of the Month: Crash. It shocked the world by taking the Best Picture Oscar out of Ang Lee's grasp, and it was a beautiful thing. Biggest Loser of the Month: Anyone and everyone involved in Date Movie. Biggest Movie News of the Month: Crash winning Best Picture at the Oscars. Boring, but it was. Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month: The Sentinel I guess. Bring on May. Recommended DVD Release of the Month: For the month that's been it has to be Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Zero extras but the film is slick Vegas. Love it. As for the month ahead, it's got to be Kong. Classic Movie of the Month: Die Hard. It is the greatest film ever made. If you haven't seen it, you can have a free coupon to receive an abundance of hits with a baseball bat. Movie Quote of the Month: "Yippee ki ay mother ruther."
Cris Murphy
Biggest Winner of the Months: As much as I'd like to say Crash, I can't. I knew it was going to win Best Picture, so I didn't think it was all that big of an upset. I have to go with Tyler Perry and his Madea's Family Reunion. Just like Diary of a Mad Black Woman, Perry ended up defying expectations and took the #1 Box Office spot for two straight weeks, and is still going strong. Lion's Gate has really perfected marketing family friendly films to churches and other religious organizations. It's a new trend and it's paying off. Disney has already followed suit with Narnia, and it won't be long before all the other stuidos go the same path. Biggest Loser of the Month: Allyson Hannigan. Poor Willow. She's just too hot, cute, and funny to see her bomb so egregiously with Date Movie. As bad as that film was, it'll hurt her career even more. Biggest Movie News of the Month: The Issac Hayes-"South Park" controversy. Did he really quit on his own? Did the Church of Scientology play any part in this? Did Matt and Trey talk to Issac before they went Rambo on his ass? Who knows? I just feel sorry for Scientologists. Hold on...no I don't. They deserve everything they get. Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month: It's a weak crop this month...especially since we're heading into the Summer Blockbuster season. So, I'll have to go with The Sentinel. It's Keiffer being a badass once again, and that's always a good thing. Recommended DVD Release of the Month: There's only 2 decent films or TV sets coming to DVD in April. So, I'm going with The Chonicles of Narnia and Brokeback Mountain. Just because. No real reason. Classic Movie of the Month: It's my favorite B-movie of all time. Ski School encompasses skiing, drinking, partying, Godzilla and Lambada-The Forbidden Dance. It's very cheesy and not the best story in the world, but it's a smart-ass' wet dream. And that's enough for me. Well, that and Ava Fabian perfect hooters. Movie Quote of the Month: "Gyrate-gyrate-gyrate motions. Gyrate-gyrate-gyrate motions. [dancing the lambada with a girl ] I could dance with you 'till the cows come home... Better still , I could dance with the cows 'till you come home! Oh Christ , I've come!" - Dave Marshak (Dean Cameron), Ski School
Bryan Kristopowitz
Biggest Winner of the Months: George Soros. He now has full on access to the entire DreamWorks movie library, which means more money for George. And besides aiding the effort to take down George W. Bush, Soros is just into money, and owning movie rights is one of the better ways to get some (think of all of the licensing fees he can get). Biggest Loser of the Month: Isaac Hayes. Whether or not he quit "South Park" over alleged religious intolerance or as the result of his stroke, all anyone is going to remember is that Hayes is a Scientologist, and Scientology is now run by Tom Cruise, so The Duke of New York is Charlie Babbit's bitch. Biggest Movie News of the Month: News on the next Simon Pegg flick. All us nerds want to see the "Shaun of the Dead" gang back on the big screen doing something, and now we have "Hot Fuzz" to look forward to. A cop flick. Funny most likely. Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month: Nothing really jumps out, which isn't a bad thing. As we all know, hype doesn't always meld with the facts (the most important movie ever advertised could be supremely awful). Recommended DVD Release of the Month: "King Kong." Yeah, by the time April rolls around it will already be out, but, heck, Kong is a must own from then until forever. Classic Movie of the Month: "Eve of Destruction." The late, great Gregory Hines plays an anti-terrorist specialist hunting a rampaging female robot that looks, thinks, acts, and has the memories of its creator (fairly attractive blonde woman Renée Soutendijk). The robot is also quite, shall we say, in the need of love. Hines is great as the action hero (as far as this reviewer knows this is the only action hero role Hines ever did). He's glib, tough, carries around a huge pistol with a laser sight, and engages in some serious kitchen destruction. The flick also features a scene with the robot in a hotel motel room with some trucker guy and, well, it's one of the great nightmares of heterosexual men interested in oral sex the world over (the scene gives new meaning to the phrase "chomping at the bit"). Movie Quote of the Month:
Kane: Yes, I have a question concerning our powers of arrest, the statutes governing citizens arrest really aren't very clear. Will we be indemnified by the company for lawsuits that result from wrongful arrest complaints?
Clarence: What are you, a lawyer?
Kane: No! No, no! What I mean to say is, let's say I detain a shoplifter, let's say, and he turns out to be innocent, and he sues me for a million dollars, what happens?
Clarence: What happens? You spend the rest of your life paying for it, and you die miserable and broke, so don't screw up.
-Eugene Levy (Norman Kane) and Kenneth McMillan (Captain Clarence) in "Armed & Dangerous," (1986).
Trevor Snyder
Biggest Winner of the Months: The Wachowski Brothers. V for Vendetta may not end up being a gigantic blockbuster, but, thanks to mostly positive reviews, respectable box office, and good word of mouth, it has brought back some of the luster the brothers enjoyed before the crash and burn of the Matrix series (and Larry's bizarre life became public knowledge). It's just too bad the Wachowski's didn't direct V themselves, instead of passing it off to James McTeigue. We still need to wait and see if their next directorial effort will be more The Matrix than The Matrix Revolutions. But at least V has rekindled that curiosity. Quick question: Once Larry's sex change is complete, will they still be known as The Wachowski "Brothers?" Biggest Loser of the Month: Oscar's credibility. I have to disagree with O'Sullivan on this one. It wasn't the first time the wrong movie won Best Picture (Shakespeare in Love over Saving Private Ryan, Forrest Gump over Pulp Fiction, Gladiator over Traffic AND Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon). But it was distinguishable in that Crash may just be the most amazingly mediocre movie to win the big prize. Still, Crash was the safe choice. Nevermind that all four of its competitors were better movies. Rather than choose films which take a tough look at the costs of the war on terror or "promote a gay agenda," the Academy gave the win to a film with a message that is hard to fault: Racism is bad. Sure, it's full of clichéd characters and relies way too much on incredibly unbelievable coincidences, but is sure does make you think, huh? Yes, it made me think. It made me think about how sad it is that such an average film could be hailed as brave or groundbreaking in a year full of such better, and more truly daring, movies. Biggest Movie News of the Month: I suppose, technically, it would have to be the Crash upset. But since I've already made my thoughts known on that, I'll instead go with that news that Sin City 2 is waiting on the currently pregnant Angelina Jolie to play the role of "A Dame to Kill For." Jolie is the perfect addition to Miller's neo-noir world, and anyone who has read the graphic novel knows we should be treated to a fair amount of Mrs. Pitt nudity. Sure, it's nothing we haven't seen before. But it's also something you never turn down. Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month: As always, April is a pretty weak month. I have to go with American Dreamz. Both About a Boy and In Good Company were excellent, so it's not hard to get excited about Paul Weitz' latest effort. It doesn't hurt that he's bringing Dennis Quaid and Hugh Grant (playing an asshole, where he always excels) back along with him. Recommended DVD Release of the Month: Brokeback Mountain looks a little light on the extras, but I'll still give it the nod here. If for no other reason, so more people will see for themselves just how much better than Crash it is. Classic Movie of the Month: Working on the Top 5 Action Scenes for 411 reminded me just how great Hard Boiled (1992), John Woo's gloriously violent cops vs. triads movie, truly is. It seems hard to remember how thrilling of a director Woo once was, and how large of a cult following he had in America before even making his first Hollywood feature. But watching Hard Boiled brings those memories back, and is an amazing reminder of how exciting Woo was before getting neutered by American standards. It was recently announced that a Hollywood remake of Hard Boiled will soon be going ahead, with Chow Yun-Fat reprising his role as heroic police officer Tequila, and a as-of-yet undetermined American star playing Tony Leung's of the undercover cop wrestling with his conscious. Remaking an already perfect movie, with the same main star no less, is yet another example of Hollywood's stupendous ability to come up with pointless projects. If you haven't seen the original Hard Boiled, do yourself a favor and check it out before Hollywood manages to screw it up. Movie Quote of the Month:
Mrs. White: He was deranged, he was a lunatic. He didn't seem to like me very much. He had threatened to kill me in public.
Miss Scarlet: Why would he want to kill you in public?
Wadsworth: I think she meant he threatened, in public, to kill her.
- Madeline Kahn (Mrs. White), Lesley Ann Warren (Miss Scarlet), and Tim Curry (Wadsworth) in Clue (1985).
James Thomlison
Biggest Winner of the Months: Eastman and Laird; creators of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This really is a "The Little Comic Book That Could" story. From what started with 50 mis-sized copies of the very first comic, these two have attained comic icon status, three live action movies, two animated series, numerous direct-to-video animated films, a musical tour, and thousands of merchandising items. This month it was announced that TMNT would be returning to the big screen in the form of a CGI film. I can only imagine the numerous people that laughed in their face when they told them their idea about "four mutated turtles that know martial arts". They truly built it from the ground up on their own, and that is why they still own it (and receive fat piles of cash from it) to this day. More great news is that the plans for this film is to be a much darker, more true-to-the-original story; which is making fans of the "adult themed TMNT" (myself included) very, very happy. Biggest Loser of the Month: Randy Quaid. Seriously. This guy is quite good, but easily replaceable. So, now he's bitching about not getting enough inital money (which he agreed to) to be in a blockbuster film which he's hardly in and could have been played by numerous others. Not only that, he's claiming he was duped! Oh, that sneaky Ang Lee! And on top of all THAT, he's suing for 10 MILLION dollars, as opposed to the six figure number he *claims* to usually pull in per role. I mean really, nothing about Randy Quaid had anything remotely significant in the success of this movie. Get the fuck over yourself and move on to your next B movie cameo. Biggest Movie News of the Month: Well, apparently, it's the fact that Snakes on a Plane is getting so much underground (and mainstream) buzz that they not only went back in and added more to get an R rating, but even re-shot some scenes specifically so Samuel L could do his Samuel L thing. People are PUMPED to see this, and it's still five months away. Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month: I guess I'll pick Scary Movie 4 on this one. The SM franchise has always been one I found to be quite fun, and never took it too seriously – something that happens to often and a complete mindless flick like this gets labeled as a crap flick. All the main players seem to be back, and they've even gotten a spoof icon in Leslie Nielson. I'm also looking forward to actually cutting Dr. Phil a break, something I would never had thought possible. Recommended DVD Release of the Month: Well, you've got Brokeback Mountain, The Chronicles of Narnia, and Aeon Flux; I guess in terms of rentals those are the obvious ones. Being that I thought it was coming out in March but it's actually coming out in April, I'm going to again go with Fun with Dick and Jane. Big fan of both Carrey and Leoni. Classic Movie of the Month: In true spirit, I say everyone check out Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (part 1). Watching it again recently I failed to remember how awesome those original costumes were. Casey Jones was played by Christopher Meloni perfectly, and we saw the origins of the Turtle Van (although they never followed up because they dumped a ton of money into the sequels, neither of which I was a big fan of). Movie Quote of the Month: (in Snakes on the Plane fashion) "Do they speak English in What, Mother Fucker?" – Sam Jackson, Pulp Fiction.
Chad Webb
Biggest Winner of the Month: Well this is a tough one this month. Crash was definitely a big winner for their surprise Best Picture win, but then again Three 6 Mafia was a big winner because of how excited they were to win the Oscar. My pick will go to all those involved with V for Vendetta, but most notably the Wachowski Brothers who have more than redeemed themselves after their Matrix flops. I truly believe they have created a film that will stand the test of time. Biggest Loser of the Month: Milla Jovovich because she has no doubt ruined any decent reputation she had after filming Ultraviolet. The cast and crew could equally be voted as the biggest losers of the month because the deplorable effort they put forth in making the film. It is easily one of the worst films of the year, and its only April. Biggest Movie News of the Month: At first I immediately thought of Crash winning Best Picture, but that storm died down rather quickly (Perhaps people realize that Brokeback Mountain should have won but they choose to be quiet). My pick for biggest news is the fact that Isaac Hayes has left South Park. It was totally unexpected and out of the blue, and when I heard why, I was even more shocked. Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month: Standing Still would be my first choice followed by The Sentinel just because Michael Douglas rules. This month looks awfully weak for movies. Nothing jumps out as being a surprise hit or even a solid hit. In my opinion American Dreamz looks too strange. Recommended DVD Release of the Month: My first choice is Brokeback Mountain which is set to come out on the 4th of April. Later in the month though, The Matador and Match Point will be released, and both are equally wroth purchasing. Classic Movie of the Month: In 1957, Witness for the Prosecution was released starring Charles Laughton and Marlene Dietrich. The suspense was unreal, and it kept you intrigued from the start until the unforgettable ending. This was a true cinema classic in every sense of the word. It was directed by the great Billy Wilder, who never ceases to amaze me with every film I watch. Movie Quote of the Month: To go along with my classic movie pick, from Witness for the Prosecution. Sir Wilfrid: "I am constantly surprised that women's hats do not provoke more murders." Or Miss Plimsoll: "Teeny weeny flight of steps, Sir Wilfrid, we mustn't forget we've had a teeny weeny heart attack."
Coming Attractions
THE BENCHWARMERS
Sports Comedy
Opening: April 7th (wide)
Cast: Rob Schneider, David Spade, Jon Heder, John
Lovitz, Craig Kilborn
Director: Dennis Dugan
Synopsis: Gus (Schneider) and his buddies (Heder and
Spade) are scouted by a millionaire nerd (Lovitz) to
be part of his personal baseball team. The concept is
that they would play the meanest little league teams
around and exact revenge for all the nerds and geeks
they beat up on. Gus becomes a hero to the little man
until it's discovered that he was once a bully
himself. He must then try and win back the admiration
of his fans and teammates.
Rutherford: Seems like typical Schneider fare but he really seems to be scrapping the bottom of the barrel lately. The premise seems cute enough but Spade, Schneider and Lovitz in one movie may be more than a little much to handle.
Sirois: Sounds like a lot of fun, but does every comedy have to use the same tired formula of "lead character hides secret, gets power and glory, secret comes out, character loses power and glory, mopes to himself while walking on a beach as soft music plays, then gets his power and glory back ‘the right way?'" The previews had me kinda hooked, but then I read the synopsis. Gee, thanks Scott!
O'Sullivan: Sounds like a story of Ruther during his Rugby League playing days. Schneider sucks.
Cris Murphy: Deuce Bigalow, Joe Dirt and Napolean Dynamite playing retards on a baseball field. Yeah, that's going to draw a lot of money...from other retards.
Kristopowitz: While not the biggest fan of Rob Schneider, this movie doesn't look that bad. There's nothing wrong with the occasional stupid underdog sports movie every now and then. Craig Kilborn is always going to be creepy, so he should do well enough as the villain (and, if for some reason he isn't playing a villain, well, that's just stupid. The man is a natural jerk). And it's also nice to see John "morbidly obese film critic Jay Sherman" Lovitz get more feature flick work. Lovitz is always funny.
Snyder: Is there even one remotely funny joke in any of the previews for this so far? Joe Dirt and the first Deuce Bigalow were both amusing, but everything Spade and Schneider have done since has been pure crap, and Heder looks like he may already be on his way to "one-hit wonder" status.
JT: All of these guys are associated with one thing – harmless comedies. Again, I think these guys get into situations where because the flicks are taken so seriously, they aren't enjoyed and labeled as bad flicks. But if you just go in with the mindless mindset that it's nothing but stupid humor, movies from these guys are quite enjoyable. If I had to think of an example, I LOVE Joe Dirt. I'm also a big fan of the Deuce Bigalow flicks. Lovitz was great in Rat Race. I expect this to be entertaining if one can keep in mind it serves absolutely no other purpose than to let one veg with a good comedy 90 minutes.
Webb : Since I didn't see Just Like Heaven, I am anxious to see Jon Heder in a film that is not Napoleon Dynamite. The film looks a little like Bad News Bears, but I think it will be worth some laughs. From what I have seen in the trailer, each scene with Jon Lovitz looks to be the funnier ones. Oh hell, this gonna blow!
TAKE THE LEAD
Musical Drama
Opening: April 7th (wide)
Cast: Antonio Banderas, Rob Brown, Elijah Kelley,
Dante Basco, Jenna Dewan
Director: Liz Friedlander
Synopsis: Banderas plays a retired ballroom dancer who
volunteers at a poor inner city New York school to
teach dance. He immediately clashes with his hip hop
loving students, but they meet in the middle and form
a new style of dance.
Rutherford: Say what you will about his choice of wife but you can't fault Antonio for doing seem REALLY different movies. It all feels a little Dangerous Minds meets Footloose in an orgy of bad rap rhymes but it may be decent. All depends if Banderas was doing this for the pay check or the love.
Sirois: I don't know why, but I'm slightly intrigued by this one. Maybe it's because my fiancée's a dancer and will probably want to see this and I'm bracing myself, but like I said, I'm slightly intrigued by this one.
O'Sullivan: Zorro prancing around in a leotard. Oh God No!!!!
Murphy: Sounds like an interesting premise, especially with Bandaras. However, it sounds just a little too much like Hardball, only without a clueless Keanu Reeves and no baseball.
Kristopowitz: Much in the same way television should give cop shows, lawyer shows, and crime scene investigation shows a rest, the movie world should give the plucky-misunderstood-urban minority youth-rises-to-the- occasion-by-being-all hip and edgy in a stodgy environment-because "new teacher" believes in them-genre a decade or so retirement. Because we've seen all of this a million times before, this flick is going to have to survive solely on the screen charisma of Antonio Banderas and the assorted "urban youth." This reviewer thinks that's too tall an order, even for the great Banderas. (You should instead seek out "Lean on Me" with Morgan Freeman as Eastside High Principal Joe Clark and Sidney Poitier's television movie "To Sir, With Love II" for this story. Or, if you're in a "What the heck?!?" mood, "Sister Act 2.")
Snyder: Finally, the hip-hop dancing, Antonio Banderas movie we've all been waiting for. Is it too late to ask Robert Rodriguez to consider making another El Mariachi movie, so Banderas can make at least one more worthwhile movie before it's all over.
JT: While this will most certainly have plenty of cliché's and stereotypes going on, I've seen the preview for this quite a few times over the last half year, and I think it has potential. It's the "musical" and "drama" part that will be my biggest battle.
Webb: Ballroom dancing with Antonio…who cannot want to see this? At first I thought this looked like an ok film, but after seeing the preview before every film I have seen in the past 2 months I can officially say I do not want to see this anymore. It looks too much like Dangerous Minds, only with Antonio Banderas instead of Michelle Pfeiffer. It might be ok, but there have been too many films like it.
SCARY MOVIE 4
Horror Comedy
Opening: April 14th (wide)
Cast: Anna Faris, Regina Hall, Leslie Nielsen, Craig
Bierko, Dr. Phil
Director: Jerry Zucker
Synopsis: Same as the previous installments as not
just horror films, but all of pop culture is spoofed
and parodied. Nielsen returns as the US President and
must repel a War of the Worlds styled alien invasion.
Sirois: I'll make sure to catch it when Comedy Central puts it in their Secret Stash.
O'Sullivan: As with all of these films, there will be a few great moments drowned out by the realisation of how awful the entire movie is.
Murphy: Did we really need yet another sequel to this bankrupt spoof series? It spent all of its good material in the first film.
Kristopowitz: This reviewer only saw the first one and liked it. The other two, one directed by the great Keenan Ivory Wayans, and the other by "Naked Gun" alumnus David Zucker, are on the list of movies to be seen eventually. People must like them since they keep making them, so who knows. Movie parodies can be hysterical or absolutely terrible ("Date Movie," for example). We'll see how it turns out.
Snyder: Are there naked pictures of Anna Farris somewhere that are used to blackmail her into continuing to return to this series? And, if so, how can I get my hands on them? I imagine there will be a few funny moments, surrounded by hundreds of unfunny ones.
JT: See my "Most Anticipated Movie of the Month" answer.
Webb: :sigh: God help us all! After the horrid parody that was Date Movie, I am beyond scared of what this film might bring. If I do decide to see this it will be for free. I think this series has run its course at this point. Originally, the movies they were poking fun at needed to be made fun of, but now they are stretching, and are too anxious for new films to make fun of. If they took their time maybe and used some creativity, they might surprise themselves. I'm sure I will be running away from the theater if I do see this.
THE WILD
Animated Comedy
Opening: April 14th (wide)
Cast: voice of Kiefer Sutherland, Eddie Izzard, James
Belushi, Jeanne Garofalo, William Shatner
Director: Steve "Spaz" Williams
Synopsis: A group of animals from the New York City
zoo break out in order to save one of their friends
from mistakenly being shipped backed into the wild.
Rutherford: OH MY GOD. It's Nemo without the charm!
Sirois: Already saw this when it was Madagascar. Sorry, Disney. You missed the boat… AGAIN!
O'Sullivan: Which animal is Bauer speaking for
Murphy: Wasn't this Madagascar? If there are funny penguins in this, I'm calling Shenanigans.
Kristopowitz: There seems to be an over abundance of animated movies coming out this year. From the previews this reviewer has seen, this could be funny for a little while. The kids will most likely like it.
Snyder: Wow, they sure rushed out Madagascar 2, huh? As much as I like Izzard and Shatner, and find myself wanting to support a movie directed by a guy called "Spaz," I think I'll pass on this one.
JT: This definitely does reek of Madagascar, only an opposite situation. I've said before I'm a fan of animated flicks, and I imagine that I'll like this one as well (remember folks, mindless, harmless fun).
Webb: I'm sorry to say that this looks like another CGI films that will fail miserably. Kids will like it of course, but they will forget about when the next kids films is released after it. It does not look as bad as lets say Doogal, but it does not have anything that stands out. The more CGI films that come out, the worse they seem to get.
AMERICAN DREAMZ
Political/Musical Satire
Opening: April 21st (wide)
Cast: Hugh Grant, Dennis Quaid, Chris Klein, Mandy
Moore, Willem Dafoe, Marcia Gay Harden, Sam Golarzi
Director: Paul Weitz
Synopsis: On the eve of his reelection, the President
of the United States (Quaid) reads a newspaper for the
first time in four years and discovers that he's lost
touch with the country. His chief of staff tries to
quell his fears by arranging for him to be the special
guest judge on the top rated show in the country,
American Dreamz. It's an American Idol knockoff with
Hugh Grant in the Simon Cowell slot. The finalists are
southern belle Sally (Moore) and a recent immigrant
who is a brain washed terrorist waiting to go off
(Golarzi). Dafoe plays the Vice President and Harden
is the First Lady.
Rutherford: I really want to see this movie. The premise is laughingly bad but the cast and the director could REALLY make this work. Hugh Grant as Simon Cowell = COMEDY GOLD
Sirois: Hmmm, I wonder where they got the idea of a President that doesn't read the newspapers. Anyway, I have a lot of faith in everyone involved, and even though it's catering to my side of the political spectrum, I'm sure some people on the other side will have a few chuckles watching it as well.
O'Sullivan:...........are unrealistic and Hollywood-inflicted. This doesn't help.
Murphy: I'm not sure what to think of this. We could always use more political satires. However, if you go the cheap route with them, they fail miserably. If you go the subtle, intelligent route with them, they can be fantastic and very funny. I like the cast. The premise leaves a little to be desired, yet I still feel like this could be a decent enough film.
Kristopowitz: This has snark written all over it. This reviewer hates snark. But who knows. It could end up being daffy instead. We should all hope and pray for more daffiness.
Snyder: Parodying American Idol and George W. Bush are both about as tired as you can get at this point, but after About a Boy and In Good Company I have complete faith in Paul Weitz to do something special with it. Like those two films, I expect this one not to be a huge hit, but to be one of the smarter comedies we'll see all year.
JT: The definite thing to remember about reading the synopsis for this is SATIRE. Based on that, and the cast (we already know that Grant and Dafoe are proven in roles like this; Quaid will be the test), I suspect this will be a fun little flick.
Webb: This looks particularly strange to me. It looks interesting enough to see, but it does not appear to be anything special. I have seen the trailer a number of times now, and the acting looks kind of bad. I don't mind Hugh Grant or Mandy Moore, or Dennis Quaid, but I have my doubts. After director Paul Weitz's last film In Good Company, which was terrible, I am hoping for some improvement. We know he can make a good film though because he showed us with About a Boy and obviously American Pie.
THE SENTINEL
Political Thriller
Opening: April 21st (wide)
Cast: Michael Douglas, Kiefer Sutherland, Kim
Basinger, Eva Longoria, Paul Calderon
Director: Clark Johnson
Synopsis: Pete Garrison (Douglas) is the most
decorated agent ever in the history of the Secret
Service. He is framed for planning an assassination on
the President. He goes underground to prove his
innocence with his protégé (Sutherland) tracking him.
Rutherford: I will probably like this movie but to say this is formulaic would be an understatement. My English teacher would have called this "workman-like"
Sirois: Man, Hollywood's really having their way with the President this month. I don't know if this Secret Service thriller will be as good as In the Line of Fire, but they're more than welcome to give it a try.
O'Sullivan: The best of a woeful bunch in my view, but negativity aside this looks like it could be damn good. Well, as long as Bauer is shooting people in the head.
Murphy: You had me a Keiffer "tracking". The only thing missing from "24" is Jack Bauer cussing up a storm. Now, we can get a little glimpse of that in this film. Very solid cast that should gel well together.
Kristopowitz: A good, old fashioned political action movie thing. Should provide some decent thrills. The cast looks good. But this reviewer is wary of the whole Kiefer Sutherland "24" connection, because that connection will probably be all over the advertising. Is Kiefer a real butt kicker here, or is he more of the "by-the-book" kind of agent?
Snyder: This has potential, but its biggest competition will actually come from being able to compare it to 24, which will still be running when it comes out. And, let's face it, what are the chances it's as good as 24?
JT: The plot sounds a little "done before", but I will always give Douglas, Sutherland, and Basinger a shot. Definite rental.
Webb: This may look like your standard action thriller, but once you look more at the fact that Kiefer Sutherland and Michael Douglas are starring with Kim Basinger and Eva Langoria, you will hopefully be a bit more excited to see it. If anyone can make a decent action film it's this cast. Not to mention that this type of film is right up the director's alley. His last films was S.W.A.T., which was mediocre, but this may be different
STANDING STILL
Coming of Age Drama
Opening: April 21st (limited)
Cast: James Van Der Beek, Mena Suvari, Adam Garcia,
Amy Adams, James Duval
Director: Matthew Cole Weiss
Synopsis: Van Der Beek stars as a popular, but
notoriously drunk actor who meets up with some old
college friends on the occasion of a wedding.
Rutherford: I can here the mocking laughter already.
O'Sullivan: Sounds like a bad, movie version of Entourage. I'll pass.
Murphy: It depends on how they go with this. It could be a very touching and loose drama of friends coming back together, or it could be two hours of Dawson repeating the line "I don't want...yur life." With the Van Der Beek factor involved, it's a toss up.
Kristopowitz: Why isn't this a comedy? Not "Wedding Crashers" type comedy, but sort of, you know, funny? Like "Real Men" or something like that. Van Der Beek better hit a home run, a masterful acting turn, or this movie is going to die a slow, painful death
Snyder: After his impressive turn in The Rules of Attraction, I waited for Van Der Beek to live up to the promise he showed in that film. I guess I'll keep waiting.
JT: Holy shit! James Van Der Beek is still alive? I could have swore he fell off the face of the planet after Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (in which I will give him credit. He was damn funny in that cameo). I'm curious to see exactly how he pulls off the "notoriously drunk" scenes. Garcia can sell any role, and Suvari is quite underrated in my opinion. Not a big fan of Coming of Age dramas, but I'm willing to give this one a shot.
Webb: The director is relatively unknown, which is nice, and the cast is comprised of some good young talent. Amy Adams, James Van Der Beek, Ethan Embry, and Colin Hanks are all involved so I think it could be good. The plot looks to be different and promising. The only problem is that this film might not see many theaters. It is only being released in a limited capacity, so hopefully it gets around enough to generate some more buzz (I doubt it though).
AKEELAH AND THE BEE
Family Drama
Opening: April 28th (wide)
Cast: Laurence Fishburne, Angela Bassett, Curtis
Armstrong, Keke Palmer, JR Villareal
Director: Doug Atchison
Synopsis: Eleven year old Akeelah (Palmer) has a gift
for words. Her mother (Bassett) protests her being
exploited, but Akeelah enters the national spelling
bee. Many members of her community come out and
support her including a blunt and mysterious former
teacher (Fishburne).
Rutherford: My lord. I suppose after the spelling Spellbound last year a movie about spelling bee's and children being exploited was bound to come up somewhere. I will give it bonus points if Fishburne and Bassett do an Ike & Tina Turner medley and Basset says "Hit me again Ike and this time put some steak on it!".
O'Sullivan: I'll sum this up for all of you who are considering wasting your wedge on this. In the climax she will spell 'doochebag' with Mariah Carey's 'Hero' playing in the background. It'll be sweet.
Murphy: You had me at Fishburne. One of my favorite actors of all time, and I'll go see him in a spelling bee film. Heck, I've already seen Searching For Bobby Fisher.
Kristopowitz: Larry Fishburne gets to play the serious black guy again (as he should, since he's so damn good at it) in a movie about a spelling bee. The previews give it that "ooh ah" feeling, an actual "feel good" kind of thing. And any movie that has Curtis "Booger" Armstrong in it has to be good, even if it's just the bits he's in.
Snyder: There was a time I'd find the idea of a movie about a spelling bee quite boring. That was before the excellent documentary Spellbound. If this is half as good as that (and if Fishburne is at the top of his game), it could actually have some merit.
JT: Okay, this is the movie of the month where I don't do anything to shit on it because we know Fishburne and Bassett will deliver (and I've also heard good things about Palmer), but the truth is I'm really not that interested… check that. I'm not interested at all.
Webb: First their was the documentary Spellbound, then Bee Season, and now this. I did see this trailer once, and there is nothing surprising whatsoever with this film. Blah, blah, blah sums this up. This is your standard tale of a girl who goes nothing to something. Laurence Fishburne plays the teacher who will do anything to motivate her. I don't care enough to see this. The title shows no creativity by the way.
RV
Family Comedy
Opening: April 28th (wide)
Cast: Robin Williams, Cheryl Hines, Jeff Daniels, Will
Arnett, Kristin Chenwith
Director: Barry Sonnenfeld
Synopsis: Robin Williams plays a wayward family man
who tries to reconnect with his family by forcing them
to go on a two week trip all cramped in an RV.
Rutherford: Look. It's Mrs Doubtfire without the fun gimmick!
Sirois: Robin Williams and Barry Sonnenfeld are re-making Johnson Family Vacation???!!!
O'Sullivan: Will Arnett. Cheryl Hines. Jeff Daniels. I'm mildly excited. The story sounds shit though.
Murphy: I hoping with Barry Sonnenfeld at the helm, this won't turn into a poor-man's National Lampoon's Vacation. Not expecting much from this.
Kristopowitz: Robin Williams hasn't done a comedy like this in a while, so it's nice to see him go back to doing something funny as opposed to straight up drama. In the previews Jeff Daniels has a "Cousin Eddie" on speed thing going on, and, while it has a bit of "stupid toilet jokes" feel about it, everyone will probably laugh while seeing it (even if they're in the theatre acting like they shouldn't be there. You know who you are. Friggin "cool" people. Shouldn't you all be home watching the completely awful "Heist"?)
Snyder: Did you know Barry Sonnenfeld used to make good movies? No, really, it's true. Not even the presence of Gob Bluth himself (COME ON!) can drag me to this one.
JT: While this definitely sounds suspiciously like "Family Vacation" or "Johnson Family Vacation", I will ALWAYS give Robin Williams and Jeff Daniels a chance. Especially considering the fact that it has Cheryl Hines in it. For those of you unfamiliar with Curb Your Enthusiasm, Cheryl Hines is AWESOME. Again, this will be harmless fun and a definite filler if you're looking to be entertained for a couple of hours. Plus, it's something that both kids and adults will enjoy, something that is crucial to a good Family Comedy.
Webb: Call me crazy, but this doesn't look too bad. I could use my dose of Robin Williams humor about now. And hey, we can't get enough of Jeff Daniels. He is just brilliant. It looks to be average, but it also looks to be worth a trip to the theater. Many are saying this looks like National Lampoons Vacation, but Barry Sonnenfeld knows how to make an enjoyable family film.
WAIST DEEP
Urban Thriller
Opening: April 28th (wide)
Cast: Tyrese Gibson, Meagan Good, Larenz Tate, The
Game
Director: Vondie Curtis Hall
Synopsis: A former gang member gone straight (Gibson)
has his car stolen with his son in the back. A young
woman of the streets (Good) helps him to fight the
rival gang and get his kid back.
Rutherford: No. Just…no.
O'Sullivan: No seriously, is May here yet?
Murphy: A movie vehicle for Tyreece. I know he's got some acting skills, as witness in Four Brothers, but to give him a leading role is not a good thing right now. By the way, who is "The Game"? Is HHH co-starring in this?
Kristopowitz: How exactly could Tyrese do all of the stuff he's doing in the preview in one day and not get caught? If the flick answers that question we could have a pretty nifty action flick on our hands. And, too, if they keep the pseudo Michael Bay crazy camera stuff to a minimum. One Michael Bay is enough.
Snyder: Tyrese has actually shown a fair amount of charisma in his film work so far, so this one is a toss-up. It could either be entirely forgettable, or one of those surprisingly entertaining action flicks like the first Transporter. I'm betting on entirely forgettable.
JT: I know the readers hate short answers that mean nothing… but….. no. Just… no. The shame is I'm quite the Larenz Tate fan. I may rent it, depending on what's coming out that week.
Webb: After seeing the preview, I can say this is one urban thriller that did not appear to be stupid right off the bat. I guess Tyrese Gibson and Meagan Good portray a Bonnie and Clyde like tag team. It will probably suck, but their isn't much to look forward to this month. Ok, "The Game"….seriously can' they just use this dudes real name? He isn't a popular enough rap artist to have his nickname on the poster. Tyrese is not that bad of an actor, but when he is the main star is not very good. When he has a good cast behind him like in Four Brothers he is at his strongest.
KILLER DILLER
Musical Comedy
Opening: April 28th (limited)
Cast: William Lee Scott, Fred Willard, Lucas Black,
John Michael Higgins, W. Earl Brown
Director: Tricia Brock
Synopsis: Wesley (Scott) is arrested for violating his
parole and sent to a halfway house ran by Ned
(Willard). Ned is a religious zealot who takes in
criminals based on their musical talent and it just so
happens that Wesley can play guitar. The band plays
nothing but church music to seniors until Wesley meets
Vernnon (Higgins). Vernon is an autistic savant who
plays boogie woogie piano like you wouldn't believe.
The group transforms into a gospel tinged blues band.
They are bound for greatness, but must break the law
one last time to stay together and get there.
Rutherford: My sleeper for the month. It wont do any sort of decent business but it will be a great movie.
Sirois: Last time I saw Fred Willard & John Michael Higgins in a musical comedy, it was A Mighty Wind, one of my favorite films of 2003. So it looks like I'll be seeing this one too.
O'Sullivan: Okay then, this could actually be okay although Willard did do Date Movie.
Murphy: This might sound like a lame film, but it won't be. You put Fred Willard in the mix, and you have comedy gold. Couple that with blues and gospel, and you just might have another A Mighty Wind on your hands.
Kristopowitz: This sounds insane. Just the description alone makes this reviewer think "Was this script in development for a decade or something? It sounds bizarrely complicated, but weird enough to work." Fred Willard is usually good ("Date Movie" helped bring his stature down from "usually great") so, if the noted insanity bogs the whole thing down, a least we have Fred hanging around. He's like Rip Torn. Even when he's terrible he's still somewhat good.
JT: Given the depth of how many stories they're trying to intertwine here, I'd say that this rests on how Willard does. I'm nervous this movie will either be really good, or really bad; unable to find a medium, which sometimes hurts a movie. I will definitely check it out though.
Webb: Ummm…..ok? After glancing at the plot, I honestly think it looks kind of dumb, but who am I to judge? It might turn out to be funny or something. This doesn't jump out as the sort of limited theater film that I would go out of my way to see.
