The VICIOUS TV News Wrap 04.04.06
Posted by Steve Vicious on 04.04.2006
Vote or Die on The Apprentice, Simon Cowell's new talent show on NBC, Ted Turner rants about politics and losing control of CNN, Arrested Development comes to an end (or has it?). Plus, lots of Mini-Wraps and Lauren Graham is one hot MILF!!!
- Written in front of a not-so-live studio audience from Places Unknown.
Segment 1: Introduction
I have fallen a bit behind in the 411mania department, in terms of work. Next week, I will hopefully have a much fuller TV News Wrap, so anticipate that. You will also notice the lack of images this week, which is due in large part to Steve Vicious being tired and not wanting to search Google for images. I'm very unprofessional, but don't hold it against me when the 411 voting polls open up soon.
The Top TV News Story of the Week:
- Arrested Development NEWS
My top story this week involves my FAVORITE television show Arrested Development receiving an almost certain death because the show's mastermind Mitchell Hurwitz has left the show. He mentioned not wanting to continue it because it would be too difficult to live up to the HIGH expectations of the fans. However, he did tease us with the slight hope of an AD movie. In any case, the show was amazing and I will hold my AD DVD sets very closely tonight. Maeby...
Random TV News/Thoughts/Gossip/etc:
- Turner still mad over losing Networks
Ted Turner recently mentioned that he still regrets losing control of CNN due to trusting the wrong people. He also mentioned that the news was focusing too much on smut and not enough on real news. Turner also mocked President George W. Bush for being a reformed alcoholic and the war on Iraq.
- NBC teams up with Simon Cowell American Idol judge Simon Cowell will head over to NBC for a show in which we will discover whether America's Got Talent. I hate these shows.
- The Flavor of Love: Reunion Special
VH1 aired the long awaited reunion special of The Flavor of Love. The main attraction to the special was the rematch between Pumkin & New York. That was very Jerry Springer-like, including all of the security guards and that. Anyway, the sad thing about the whole special was that Flavor Flav and Hoopz split after the show. Flav mentioned that she didn't have enough time, but he is willing to do another Flavor of Love show.
- Vote or Die: The Apprentice
It took a lot longer than I expected, but NBC's The Apprentice will FINALLY allow their viewers to place their vote for the final two contestants. Donald Trump will still make the finally choice regarding who will be hired, but I applaud the show for wanting to be more democratic. I still feel the show would be re-energized by allowing the viewers to vote weekly, like American Idol. AI is still pulling in HUGE ratings, yet I have felt that each version of the show has become weaker and weaker since Kelly Clarkson won it all in 2002. Vote or Die.
- A Time Change for NBC's Wednesday line-up Law & Order moving up an hour has done the show a bit of harm in the ratings department, while newcomer Heist has struggled to reach the numbers L&O achieved in the same spot earlier this season. So NBC has decided to switch the shows around, moving L&O back to 10PM and moving Heist to 9PM. Will the move work? I doubt it.
- Commander in Chief
In a move that I pray to god kills the show (a female as president? F**k that!), ABC has decided to bring back Commander in Chief to Thursday nights at 10PM. Before its long break, the show was pulling in very good ratings and it was looking very likely that it would take over the best political show that The West Wing currently occupies. Keep Hilary out of the White House and let's hope an end for all this women's movement crap.
The Vicious TV Mini-Wraps:
- Old Christine
Christine's husband deals with her new relationship with a man which seems to make him somewhat jealous. The rest of the show writes itself. This is just your VERY standard CBS sitcom, but the ratings will be good for it for some unknown reason (Two and a Half Men???). ***
- Scrubs: "My Bright Idea"
Turk finds out about Carla's pregnancy before she does. Meanwhile, J.D. confronts the Janitor over the lies he has told over the years. Wow, it's weird that J.D. is finally getting the best of the Janitor after so many beatings the past couple of seasons. The opening in which Dr. Cox gets his ass whipped by some German guy, after Elliot told accidentally told him to say that his wife's cans were hot, was hilarious. ***1/2
- Teachers: "Substitute"
Jeff tries to make Alice jealous by hitting on the new substitute teacher; Alice attempts to run for faculty chair. Basically, this series is nothing I haven't seen a million times over the past several years over at FOX. But I did like hot substitute, so I might check it out next week again. **
- Law & Order: SVU- "VENOM"
While Fin is dealing with colleagues who accuse his son of murder, he learns a family secret about Darius. Fin REALLY pisses Stabler off by saying that his daughter might be "swinging off a pole." Darius Parker ("Ludicris") is Ken's cousin who is nothing but trouble. However, he has straightened his life out. Meanwhile, Fin decides to hide information from the SVU squad in order to protect his son. Then we receive the Law & Order Twist: Ken's mother has ANOTHER child that Fin never knew about! Of course, it's Darius, which Ken's mother explains that she gave him up because she couldn't deal with him because he looks like his father (not Fin). I assume that Ken's mother was raped because she HATES Darius' father with absolute passion. Back to the crime, Fin & Munch find the smoking rattle in Darius' apartment. Darius confesses and leads the squad to the bodies of his victims (a mother and baby boy). But it seems that Darius confessed only to screw over the police department because the SVU obtained the bodies illegally. Once Darius is asked to make a deal, he explains that he wants to go to court because it will showcase his entire family in a poor light. HOLY CRAP! Ludacris was unbelievably awesome in the end. WOW. As for the episode, it started out with a lame premise (Ken telling his lame story about being told about a dead body), but when the pieces fell together it was all gravy. Next week's episode looks like it might make me go nuts. ****
- The Bedford Diaries: "I'm Gonna Love College" The school newspaper is about to report that the student-government president is having an affair with a professor. My thoughts on the show are this -- the premise is a little bit dumb. Think about it, would you let tell your inner most private thoughts on your sexual experience to a video camera so your teacher and watch it? That is a HUGE flaw in the show. But, on the positive, the show has a decent appeal which will keep me entertained enough until the flaws begin to catch up to it (such as One Tree Hill). Also, I was SHOCKED to discover that the creator/writer for Oz, Tom Fontana, is the man behind this show. **1/2
- My Name Is Earl: "Boogeyman"
Earl makes a young boy afraid of the dark by hiding under his bed. After Earl helps the boy conquer his fear of sleeping without a nightlight, the boy wants to move in with Earl because his dad never cared for him the way Earl did. Of course, Earl doesn't want the boy living with him, so the boy calls the police and tells them that Earl kidnapped him. The police and TV news reporters wait outside of Earl's apartment, and the reporters interview Joy. She reveals that Earl had planned on spending the night with the boy and that he even has a list. That was hilarious. In the end, the father shows the boy the love he wanted. This episode started out very promising, with Earl and the boy's first interaction, but it sort of went down a bit. ****
- The O.C.: "The Secrets and Lies"
Julie and Dr. Roberts announce their engagement; Marissa seeks solace with some bad company. Of course, the bad company that Marissa is spending all her precious time with has been talking some major shit to Ryan about what she's into (gang bang?). You know, all women love gang banged by several men, right? Good thing females are nonexistent here at the Vicious TV News Wrap. The even weirder thing is that this c**t is allowed to drink beer and has already fucked three different guys. Anyway, Marissa talks into staying because Ryan really cares about her. Marissa also deals with life at the Roberts' house and collides with Summer. This continues to sink, in my honest opinion. **
- The Office: "Michael's Birthday"
Michael takes the Dunder Mifflin employees ice-skating to celebrate his birthday. While there, Michael makes a very good impression on the woman who sold him his condo by playing with her kids. ***1/2
- So NoTORIous: "Plucky" [Series Premiere]
Tori throws a party in order to spend time with a co-worker. This show was SO awful that I decided to stop punishing myself by continuing to watch it after only 12 minutes. The biggest problem the show has is that Tori Spelling is trying SO hard to be viewed as sympathetic, but she comes off as a girl who is just a fool. The jokes about Donna Martin, her dad (Aaron Spelling), her mom, Paris Hilton, etc, left me wanting to blow my head off more than usual. It's ironic that she would mock Paris Hilton, yet we all know she desperately wants to be the hotel heiress (I hate Paris even MORE). I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever watch this awful show again in my life. This is perhaps the worst television program (reality or scripted) that I have ever seen in my entire life. However, I did love the comment one woman made about Tori: "You're daddy should have bought you talent." No sh*t. There was another new episode of this sh*t, but I decided that one episode was enough for my lifetime. -*****
- Campus Ladies: "Fraternity Row"
Joan and Barri witness a fraternity initiation and mistakenly believe Drew is being inducted into a cult. The ladies continue to try to free Drew, but they get caught and have to swear to silence in order for Drew to go unpunished. The leader of the fraternity mentioned that he would normally have people swear silence by masturbating into a cup and drinking it. However, the ladies cannot do that so they are asked to use a tazer on one another. Joan is the one tazered and she's knocked out by the shock. In the end, Drew is not allowed to join the fraternity after all. The ladies being naive towards everything about college life is just hilarious. ****
- South Park: "Smug Alert!"
A disaster of epic proportions threatens the town and Stan is to blame. Meanwhile, Kyle's family leaves South Park for the "progressive" comforts of San Francisco. This was okay, but it felt too much like the episode from last season in which Cartman & Stan are to blame for the dam bursting. ***
Nielsen TV Ratings for March 20-26, 2006
1. American Idol- TUES (FOX) 19.2
2. American Idol- WED (FOX) 15.9
3. Desperate Housewives (ABC) 13.5
4. CSI: Miami (CBS) 13.0
5. 60 Minutes (CBS) 11.0
6. Two and A Half Men (CBS) 10.5
7. Deal or No Deal- Mon (NBC) 9.8
7. The Unit (CBS) 9.8
9. Grey's Anatomy (ABC) 9.7
9. Old Christine (CBS) 9.8
9. Lost (ABC) 9.7
New TV-on-DVD Released Today: April 4, 2006
- The A-Team: Season 4
- Dawson's Creek: The Complete 6th Season
- Full House: The Complete 3rd Season
- Garbage Pail Kids: The Complete Series
- Knight Rider: Season 4
- Magnum, P.I.: Season 4
- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Volume 4
- Tripping the Rift: Season 2
The Vicious TV Babe of the Week: Lauren Graham
Lauren Graham is quite possibly the hottest non-real MILF in the history of television. I love her. You must also love her. There are also rumors going around that Lauren Graham wants to play Wonder Woman in the upcoming film! Jizz worthy!
The Vicious TV News Wrap Credits:
Written & Directed by Steve Vicious
Art/Graphic Designs by SteveCorp
Executive Producers: Steve Vicious, Ashish Pabari & Scott Rutherford
Original Concept by Scott Rutherford & Steve Vicious
A SteveCorp.net & 411mania.com Presentation
On the next Vicious TV News Wrap (#29): April 11, 2006
- I should have lots of free time to work on the next two TV News Wraps, so I hope to have some good TV to watch in the coming weeks.
- I'll also be working on Justice League: The Complete 1st Season DVD review to be posted in the next two weeks. Its 26 episodes, so it should take me a while to get through.
