The BIg Screen Bulletin 04.10.06: The Nitro Girls and Movies Never Made 2
Posted by Chad Webb on 04.10.2006
Movies never made part 2, the cheesy movie for April, Crash as a T.V. series, the best screenplays ever, good news for The Da Vinci Code, and what's wrong with Katie Holmes?
Intro
The Best Films Never Made: Part 2- A Movie Hoax
Last week in The Big Screen Bulletin I showed you my top 10 best films never made. This week I am continuing that topic, but with a different spin.
The character of Batman happens to be my favorite superhero. He is dark, intelligent, and mysterious. Making friends was never his first priority. Those are some of the traits I always admired him. Over the years, different directors have given us their own visions of the Caped Crusader from Tim Burton, Joel Schumacher, Leslie H. Martinson back in 1966, and now Christopher Nolan. Adam West, Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney, and Christian Bale have all slipped into the suit, but what about Orson Welles? That's right Orson Welles. Well, around 3 years ago, their was a small buzz going around that the great director/actor had a visualization to create his own Batman film and star in it.
Approximately ten years after the superhero was first created, Orson Welles sat down and started to shape his own Batman film. He got as far as to have a first draft of a script, production designs, and casting photographs of various people in the completed costumes. Lionel Hutton was the individual who started this whole rumor after he had visited the Welles estate, and found some papers lying around. Hutton was a film historian and critic. This production design was unearthed from his findings:
Welles did have a fondness for comic book stories and characters, and his diaries had numerous references to various books he was reading back then. He had started meeting with the men of National Comics back in 1944. National Comics would later become DC Comics. Two years later was the year the project got underway. Welles wanted his version of Batman to be very dark and solemn as an "adult psycho-drama." He had also planned on using many new and innovative directing techniques to captivate audiences. This was going to change movies. The script had started with the deaths of Bruce Wayne's parents, and ended with Batman fighting against Joker, Riddler, Two-Face, and Catwoman in a prison. Many letters were floating around that showed various actors affirming different parts. George Raft was supposed to play Two-Face after Humphrey Bogart did not want to be involved. James Cagney signed up to be The Riddler. Basil Rathbone was supposed to play the Joker, and Marlene Dietrich was ready to be a sexy Catwoman. Robin was not written into this story. Problems arose when choosing the role of Batman himself began. Welles wanted to play Batman, but the studio wanted Gregory Peck. The studio offered Welles the part of The Joker, and after that argument, the whole project stopped dead. Welles went on to pursue other works.
Lionel Hutton was writing a biography on Orson Welles that was going to have all sorts of information on this unmade film included, but that never happened. Does this sound to good to be true? Sadly, this is nothing but a hoax. For starters, the book that Lionel Hutton was writing was never released. Check Amazon. Also the character of the Riddler was not created until 1948, which was 2 years after Welles had written his "first draft." The actors who were supposedly cast to the various roles were under contracts to their respective studios at the time. This means that it would have been IMPOSSIBLE for this film to happen with these people. I must admit, I would have given anything for this fake film to be a reality. Finally, absolutely no interview with Welles ever referred to a film of that magnitude. Admit it, this sounded really friggin' great didn't it. Too bad. I recommend looking this hoax up if you're interested in reading more about it.
The News Bulletin Dissection
Producers of the film version of "The Da Vinci Code" presumably heaved a long sigh of relief when a British judge today (Friday) ruled against two writers who claimed that author Dan Brown infringed on the copyright of their book by lifting its "architecture" for his own. If the court had ruled otherwise, it might have resulted in the producers having to reach an agreement with the plaintiffs before they could release their movie, which is scheduled to debut at the Cannes Film Festival next month. The lawsuit had been filed by Richard Leigh and Michael Baigent, two of the three authors of "The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail", which Brown refers to in his novel. "Even if the central themes were copied, they are too general or of too low a level of abstraction to be capable of protection by copyright law," Justice Peter Smith ruled. "Accordingly, there is no copyright infringement either by textual copying or non-textual copying of a substantial part of HBHG." Random House, which published both books, released a statement quoting Brown as saying, "Today's verdict shows that this claim was utterly without merit." Gail Rebuck, chairman and CEO of Random House, said that it was "highly unusual and very sad" that Leigh and Baigent had sued their own publisher, adding, "The ruling is very important for the future of creative writing in the U.K."
What a bunch of idiots. Seriously, Dan Brown's book gets popular so these guys think they can get a piece of the action by suing, and they knew they had no chance in hell of winning. I for one was not worried about the release of the movie. I knew that nothing would stand in the way of that being released on schedule. Dan Brown ius a wonderful writer, and he would not steal anyones material. This should serve a lesson because I have a feeling Brown's future books will bring just as much controversy.
The Seoul-based Christian Council of Korea, which reportedly represents over 60 Protestant denominations has gone to court seeking an injunction to block the distribution of "The Da Vinci Code" in South Korea, charging that the film, like the book, "belittles and tries to destroy Christianity." The film is due to open in South Korea on May 18. Meanwhile a group calling itself the Philippine Crusade for the Defense of Christian Civilization, Inc. has asked the country's Catholic bishops to support a boycott of the film, saying it is "concerned about the scandalous and sacrilegious manner in which Our Lord Jesus Christ, St. Mary Magdalene and the Catholic Church are portrayed in the book. We believe the movie wouldn't be any different."
The more controversy the better…for Dan Brown and the movie. I disagree with their opinion that the book and film try to destroy Christianity. This is a fictional book people….lets take a chill pill for a minute. Brokeback Mountain only got more popular as people started banning it, and I have a feeling that this film will receive huge box office ratings with or without a few theaters.
The greatest screenplay ever written was "Casablanca", by Julius J. Epstein, Philip G. Epstein and Howard Koch, according to a vote by the members of the Writers Guild of America. The WGA announced its results for the 101 best screenplays on Thursday with these films following "Casablanca" on the top-ten list: 2. "The Godfather", by Mario Puzo and Francis Ford Coppola; 3. "Chinatown", by Robert Towne; 4. "Citizen Kane", by Herman Mankiewicz and Orson Welles; 5. "All About Eve", by Joseph Mankiewicz; 6. "Annie Hall", by Woody Allen and Marshall Brickman; 7. "Sunset Boulevard", by Charles Brackett, Billy Wilder and D.M. Marshman Jr.; 8. "Network", by Paddy Chayefsky; 9. "Some Like It Hot", by Billy Wilder and I.A.L. Diamond; 10. "The Godfather Part II", by Mario Puzo and Francis Ford Coppola.
This does not include foreign films, and if it did, this list would look a lot different. This top ten list resembles the AFI Top 10 very closely. I would like to add that I did not like All About Eve. I am surprised to see Chinatown in the tope 10. Don't get me wrong it's deserving, but I would not have guessed that script. I would do a list of foreign films that should be on here, but that would take up too much space.
In what seems like an obvious idea for a reality TV contest, DreamWorks TV and reality-show guru Mark Burnett are teaming to produce a series to find the next Steven Spielberg. Today's (Friday) Daily Variety reported that while DreamWorks cofounder Spielberg is not likely to appear on the Fox TV program, titled "On the Lot," except for some possible cameos, he's actively involved in its development. "All through my career I've done what I can to discover new talent and give them a start," Spielberg told the trade publication. "This opportunity ... allows all of us to reach out directly to open a much wider door." Spielberg indicated that he had no intention of playing a role in the series similar to Donald Trump's on "The Apprentice." He said that contestants will be split into teams to produce a short film that will focus on a different genre (comedy, drama, etc.) each week. A panel of judges will then critique them à la American Idol and the TV audience will vote for their favorites. In an interview with today's New York Times, Burnett indicated that he expected the audition process to include examining the work of aspiring filmmakers who post their work on the Internet. "There is such a growing segment of the public making all these films on the Web that we have a great chance to tap into that," he said.
I think this is a bad idea. We all know that reality television has gotten out of hand and ridiculous lately, but the now the movie realm is putting their two cents in. At least Spielberg isn't the host. That might have ruined his career. Just like the American Idol singers (besides Kelly Clarkson) are not nearly as popular as what the show would like, neither will any director be as popular that comes out of this new show. You heard it here first.
Pregnant actress Katie Holmes stunned a magazine journalist when she accompanied fiance Tom Cruise on a recent interview, by acting in a "dazed, passive and vacant" manner. The former "Dawson's Creek" beauty, 27, sat quietly beside Cruise as he opened up about his abusive father Thomas Mapother III to Parade reporter Dotson Rader. In the Parade interview, Rader writes, "Holmes wore a large diamond engagement ring. She seemed dazed, passive and vacant. She never stopped smiling." Rader was stunned to notice Holmes kept smiling, even as the Top Gun star recalled the beatings he suffered as a child.
What the hell….Tom's drugging her or something. I always knew their was something strange about her. Dating Cruise has caused her to become nuts….wait…she already was. People will say that this is only the effects of pregnancy or something, but trust me, Tom has screwed her up somehow.
Elvis Presley's ex-wife Priscilla is "very reluctant" to sign up for the silver screen version of "Dallas", because she doesn't believe the TV series can be improved upon. While stars including Jennifer Lopez, John Travolta, Shirley MacLaine and Luke Wilson are clamoring for parts, Presley isn't keen on reliving the fortunes of the rich Ewing family. And Presley, who played Jenna Wade in the show, is unsure the 1980s program will translate to modern culture. She says, "I'm very reluctant about it because I don't know how it can get better than what we had. This is a whole new generation and I don't know if they will appreciate it as much as our generation. "We grew up with it, we knew the characters very well, we knew the actors very well. It is a different time period now. I don't know if I would want to be in something that was already successful and risk myself with something that may or may not be."
Everyone read this news bit carefully because this is a woman who knows what she's talking about. If only she had come right out and said "This film will be a piece of shit." That would have been great. The fact is that this show probably will not translate well into this generation, but the dorks in Hollywood don't care about that. If they can get a quick buck, it doesn't matter what type of crap is released. The more remakes the better, and unfortunately more people will avoid the theater if more crap keeps getting released.
Production outfits Funny Boy Films and Mythgarden are teaming up to make the gay-themed coming-of-age dramedy "Elliot Loves." The script from first-time feature director Terracino chronicles two stages of a Dominican-American youth's life -- first as a 9-year-old struggling to build a relationship with his young mother, then as a 21-year-old looking for love in New York. The nearly $1 million production is slated to begin shooting in July in New York. Mythgarden partners Christopher Racster and actors Chad Allen and Robert Gant will produce the film along with Funny Boy partners Kirkland Tibbels and George Bendele. The screenplay won the Vito Russo Award at the NewFest film festival in 2004.
Expect more types of films like this. After Brokeback, many directors will try and cash in on that popularity of homosexual type scripts and films. I dearly hope that this trend does not get out of hand. This looks like it will be a straight to video release. The cast does not look promising , but you never know.
Hot off of directing the horror remake "The Hills Have Eyes," Alexandre Aja is going "Into the Mirror" for Regency Enterprises. The director has signed on to direct the horror movie, which is being produced by Marc Sternberg and Alexandra Milchan. Aja and producing partner Gregory Levasseur also are producing. The story follows a security guard at a high-end department store who begins to investigate mysterious deaths occurring in front of the stores' mirrors. He soon discovers that there are murderous reflections out for revenge. The script was written by Jim Uhls and Joe Gangemi, with a polish by Kieran and Michelle Mulroney.
"Murderous reflections out for revenge"? Ummmm….is I read that right, it sounds incredibly dumb. I enjoyed The Hills Have Eyes, but this project looks to suck. Why don't they get a bad director like Eli Roth to make this?
"A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints," Dito Montiel's autobiographical drama starring Robert Downey Jr., Chazz Palminteri, Dianne Wiest and Rosario Dawson, has been acquired for worldwide distribution by First Look Studios. A September platform release is planned for the film, which took home two awards at this year's Sundance Film Festival -- the dramatic director award for first-time helmer Montiel and a special dramatic jury prize for best ensemble performance. Downey, who also serves as co-producer, became involved in the project through a mutual friend he shared with Montiel. Taking an interest in Montiel's memoirs about growing up in a rough Queens, N.Y., neighborhood, Downey brought on producer Trudie Styler and eventually her husband, Sting, as an executive producer.
Usually the films that win awards at Sundance are pretty decent. This looks to have a unusual, yet intriguing cast. Lately, Robert Downey Jr. has been on fire. Here's hoping that this film is no different. The title is a bit long, and could use some work though.
In Spike Lee's thriller "Inside Man," there is an arresting moment when an 8-year-old boy, who is being held hostage during a bank heist, makes his captor blanch when the boy casually shows the bank robber scenes from a horribly violent portable video game. When the robber threatens to tell the kid's father about the game, it not only provides a flash of insight into the thief's demeanor but also expresses Lee's personal take on black-on-black violence, the overt glamorization of gangster culture and the desensitization of video game-obsessed youth. The moment also points to a quickly developing new hybrid genre -- video game narratives, also known as machinima. Using desktop computer tools, visual artists have begun using the style of video games to create animated short stories. The first wave of these creations often carried light skits or dark, violent and sometimes pornographic fantasies. Now, the genre is evolving to include hand-crafted social commentaries that use the visual vernacular of the gaming world to make pointed cultural critiques.
This type of animation actually looks kind of neat. This scene definitely made Inside Man stand out to me. It is amazing what type of new and innovative type of things are evolving in cinema. I like the name "Machinima." It sounds like a bad science fiction movie.
Oscar-winning racial drama Crash is being adapted for the small screen and will appear on televisions across the U.S. next year. The movie version starring Sandra Bullock, Terrence Howard, Matt Dillon and Don Cheadle, won Best Picture at the Academy Awards in March. The film's producer Cathy Schulman says, "I hope it will air in the next year. "The actors from the film will show up. Don Cheadle is a producer and will also be on at least a few episodes.
Remember they tried the same thing with Traffic, which is also a hyperlink film. I guess they called that Traffic: The Mini-Series, but it was still a bad idea. People do not remember that show at all, and if it did anything it was tarnish the reputation of the movie. I predict that the same thing will happen to the movie Crash if this show is actually aired. It was a good movie and it won Best Picture…leave it at that. You don't have beat every good idea to death.
What's New On DVD…Buy or Avoid
The Greatest Game Ever Played-Is it just me, or does it seem like ages ago when this was in theaters? It received mixed reviews, so decide for yourself, but I will be avoiding this. It did not intrigue me enough. Maybe a rent will be worth it.Avoid
An Unfinished Life-Of all the hidden gems I saw in 2005, this was one I could see. It just wasn't playing in my area so it passed me by. This is a definite rent for me. It could be worth a blind buy.Buy
Wolf Creek (Unrated)-Another horror film that bombed. If your a horror buff,nothing I say will dissuade you from renting this. I will not be watching this.Avoid
Fun With Dick and Jane-I didn't care so much for this remake. Jim Carrey and Tea Leoni are funny, but as a whole the film was not hilarious or anything like that. I would love to reccomend renting this, but I cannot do that in good conscience. Avoid
Leprechaun 1/Leprechaun 2-As far as B-movie horror films go, these are hysterical with great one liners, a stupid plot, and all kinds of nudity to go around. Highly recommended.Buy
Mission Impossible I/Mission Impossible II-These two action films get re-released on DVD. They are avaiable seperately, and as a set like seen here. I need to watch these. It's amaziong, but I havent seen them...I've been busy watching good movies.Buy
Suicide Kings/Wagons East-This is an odd paring of films for a double feature. These two movies in one DVD's are getting better though. For the price, you can't go wrong.Avoid
Laurel and Hardy Giftset-I have seen mixed reviews of this set for one, and secondly their are a lot of people who can't stand Laurel and Hardy. I would say this set isn't good enough to buy.Avoid
The Cheese Factory: Cheesed Out Movie of the Month
I've created this scale to rate the cheesiness of certain movies:
5) Complete Cheese-fest!
4) Very Cheesy
3) Average Dose of Cheese
2) Sprinkles of Cheese
1) No Cheese, this is a good movie.
Sidekicks
Does anyone remember Jonathan Brandis? He's definitely completed his share of cheesy movies. Most notably is the one I am about to discuss, which is Sidekicks (a.k.a. The Karate Kid Part 5) from 1992. Brandis stars as Barry Gabrewski, who has some sort of perverted infatuation with Chuck Norris. He daydreams about fighting along side him. When I was that age I daydreamed about girls in my class, not martial arts experts with beards. It is tough being Barry because he has asthma, and he gets picked on by bullies. One in particular. He decides to learn karate because he wants to meet Chuck Norris and be just like him. That's when Joe Piscopo comes into the picture as the nasty and cruel karate instructor of the local school. Barry begins training with the uncle of his schoolteacher. His name is Mr. Lee, and he has come to American from China. :cough: Mr. Miyagi :cough:. Anyway, Danica McKeller from The Wonder Years plays Barry's love interest.
The film was directed by Chuck Norris' brother Aaron, and they do not hide the fact that this is a direct rip-off of The Karate Kid. Some of the one-liners are priceless, especially this one by Joe Piscopo's character Kelly Stone "Chuck Norris? Chuck Norris? He doesn't compete anymore kid, and the main reason, one of the main reasons he doesn't compete anymore is me. He doesn't compete 'cause I would kick his ass." How creative. The training sessions are cliché, the love story is dumb, and the actors are all terrible. Of course I don't have to tell you what the ending is. They got a wimpier kid to play the underdog, and an actor much worse than Ralph Macchio as the star. As a kid I probably enjoyed this film the first time I saw it, but it did not take long for me to realize how cheesy this really was. Chuck Norris appears at the end to give Barry that much needed advice, and then he faces Joe Piscopo in a match. Yay! I can hardly contain myself. It's almost as if Chuck was making fun of himself with this film.
