The VICIOUS TV News Wrap 04.18.06

Posted by Steve Vicious on 04.18.2006

Trannies Gone Wild. Are there problems at American Idol? South Park gets itself in trouble again. YO MOMMA! Tom Cruise is interviewed on all topics. Another nail in the coffin for Arreseted Development. Lifetime gets Desperate. Will you choose God or the Girl? And much more!!!



- Written in Front of a not-so-live studio audience in California.

- Segment 1: Introduction
Welcome members of my Vicious Coalition. This edition of the Vicious TV News Wrap is very special to me because it is the 30th edition of the most cutting edge news report in the history of 411movies/TV. And yes, it's an ego thing. The first season of the Vicious TV News Wrap has gone through several different problems during its freshman year. We have gone through Hurricane Katrina (I live in CA, but it's the thought that counts), PC viruses, the switch from a PC to laptop, an ever growing addiction to MTV shows and reality television. 30 episodes in and I have yet to get canceled, so I consider the VTNW a success.

The Top TV Story of the Week:
- Comedy Central censors South Park
Wow! Comedy Central has managed to piss off the creators of South Park twice in less than a month. The first being the Scientology episode being pulled (see below for more information), and now Comedy Central refused to air an image of Muhammad on last Wednesday's new episode of the show. The story I have heard is that Matt & Trey built the "Cartoon Wars" episodes based on that fact and then decided to take a cheap shot at Christians/Catholics by having Jesus Chris defecate on President George W. Bush. Of course, that did not sit well with certain people -- specifically, the Catholic League's William Donohue who has asked Parker & Stone to resign from the show. Donohue also called them "little whores" for making money off of these things. My opinion is very simple -- Matt Stone & Trey Parker mock EVERYONE, so the "Cartoon Wars" episodes went by the book. However, I do feel that they may have gone a bit too far with the images of Jesus & George Bush. Another thing that stood out is that Comedy Central will turn a blind eye to certain religions, but then they will enforce a ban on certain things when THEY feel it is inappropriate. At any rate, 411mania tried to censor me, but I will show you an image of Muhammad below!!!



[Commercial]
Silent Hill. Coming to theaters on April 21st, 2006.


Random TV News/Thoughts/Gossip/Etc.
- Jamie Kennedy's Blowin' Up
I think this series will be about Jamie Kennedy trying to become a rapper, which could be the best MTV show of all time (not much of a compliment, but whatever). The previews have really left me wanting to check out the show because Kennedy is a very funny guy (don't judge him on Son of the Mask). The premiere date is May 16th on MTV.

- Ryan Seacrest is MAD!!!
I hear that American Idols' Ryan Seacrest is upset over the fact that he was not photographed for the cover of the latest Rolling Stone magazine. This is all according to AI's Paula Abdul, who also decided to take a cheap shot at her pal in regards to his rumored relationship with Desperate Housewives' Teri Hatcher. She said: "Teri Hatcher is not THAT desperate." Well, Hatcher is trying to catch up to Eva Longoria in terms of how many men they can have at each time. Anyway, Ryan continues to look like an attention whore and I wonder why Simon isn't keeping him in his place on the show.

- Sutherland receives a contract extension
FOX's awesome 24 will continue for another three seasons as star Kiefer Sutherland has signed a new contract worth up to $40 million dollars. The deal will keep him around on 24 for another three seasons and will also guarantee Sutherland's new production studio a 2-year development deal. $40 million seems like a lot for three seasons, but FOX is so desperate for any show that receives critical acclaim that I'm surprised they didn't give Sutherland $100 million to stay forever. Maybe next time.



- My Super Sweet 16's season premiere thoughts
Damn that show! The season three premiere of MTV's My Super Sweet 16 was one hour long! The first half of the show focused on a girl who is obsessed with the color pink. The thing that stood out for me while watching her half of the show was when the party crashers started to show up. I thought it was sad that these girls wanted to get into the party so badly, yet they couldn't even remember the party girl's name (who cares?). The second half of the show featured a BOY (A STRAIGHT BOY!) who is the son of music executives and he received probably the coolest party of them ALL. Sean "P. Diddy" Combs & Kanye West showed up to the party, which looked fun. My finals thoughts on the show are that I really need a life and I need some drugs.

- Yo MOMMA!!!
When I first heard of this show, I thought I was going to hate the f**king hell out of it. However, I checked out a few episodes and I was slightly entertained by it. Wilmer Valderamma as the host sucks ($1000 dollars cash moneeey), but I guess this show is going to be like Punk'D -- which is that I will hate the host, but I like the show. Anyway, Yo Momma is all about who can trash talk the best from a certain area. Then they finish with the finalists and the winner will be on the season finale of the program. I like watching it because of the lame trash talkers are the funniest. Their jokes are SO bad that I can't help but crack up at it. I don't like Wilmer, but the show is good for a laugh.

- Crash TV
It seems that the 2006 Oscar Award Winner will be coming to the small screen soon. I can't believe I forgot to mention this bit of news, but I think it's a bad idea. I have seen many shows piss away their legacy by coming to the small screen. The ones that pop to mind instantly are "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" and "The Crow." I also believe that Robocop was a TV series, but I'm not sure. Crash is just the second film recently that will be coming to television because there's the Terminator TV series from FOX in development. I haven't heard much since it was announced, but I hope it was canned.

- Matt Lauer signs new deal
Since Katie Couric has left the network, NBC has decided that their veteran Today host deserved a better deal than what he currently has. Lauer will reportedly be earning $15 million dollars per year, for the next five years (he'll be sticking around until 2011). Damn, a career in the morning news is sounding mighty tempting now.



- Tom Cruise's interview with Primetime Live
The always controversial Tom Cruise was interview last Friday by Primetime Live's Dianne Sawyer. Cruise was open about all the topics regarding his life. His advice for those who do not know what Scientology is to read a book! Dianne countered by saying that she did read a book regarding Scientology, but she was confused. Cruise counters by telling her to read a certain book (I will not promote it because they don't own me...yet). Next up, the talk moves on to the confrontation Cruise had with Today co-host Matt Laurer last summer over prescription drugs. Cruise felt that he wasn't too intense with Matt and mentions that the warnings that those drugs are receiving from the FDA. As for his involvement in the pulling of the Scientology episode on South Park, he says that he had nothing to do with it because he didn't even know about the episode. He does mention that he would never question the faith of the series' creators. The interview ends with Cruise telling Sawyer that he will marry Kate Holmes after the baby is born (sinner!!!) and that he cannot wait to meet the baby. The interview only managed to pull in a 5.0 for ABC.

- Another Nail in the Coffin for Arrested Development
Jeffrey Tambor (aka "George Bluth Sr.") has signed on to co-star on a new NBC sitcom with John Lithgow ("3rd Rock from the Sun"). The show will be called "Twenty Good Years" and is about two men (Tambor & Lithgow) who go through mid-life crises and decide to make the next 20-years the most exciting of their entire lives. I'm going to go out on a limb here and call "Twenty Good Years" a winner. Lithgow was always awesome on "3rd Rock" and Jeffrey Tambor was great in "The Larry Sanders Show" and AD.


- Lifetime gets Desperate
Cable channel Lifetime has secured the rights to air reruns of ABC's Desperate Housewives starting this summer. Things will kick off with Season One, then season two, and so forth. One stipulation that Buena Vista Television had for Lifetime was that they could not air the show on Sundays, because that's ABC's night, of course.

- Download ABC shows
Have you ever wanted to download some of ABC's big shows for free? ABC is about to give you that opportunity in May. ABC shows available to be downloaded are Alias, Desperate Housewives, Lost and Commander in Chief. Unfortunately, the show's downloads will not be ad free (such as the $1.99 downloads from iTUNES.com) and you have to download the shows from the ABC website.

- Teri Hatcher continues to be a Diva
Rumor has it that Desperate Housewives' Teri Hatcher reportedly demanded a slice of all of the merchandise that DH has. Buena Vista Television reportedly gave in to her demands. No word on the actual amount of money she will earn from that, but she will probably be one of the highest paid actresses on television. If this is all true, Teri Hatcher continues to let her ego go to her head. Then again, she should probably try to get as much as she can from the show before the series ends.

- Commander in Chief
The show's long awaited return only scored a 5.3 rating on its new night (Thursday @10PM). I hope that ABC learns not to keep a show on the bench for so long and then move it to a new night, expecting the show to pull the same rating it did on its original night. Thank god that they did not pick up Arrested Development for a third season.



- Lindsay Lohan & Pearl Jam on SNL
The lovely Lindsay Lohan hosted this past Saturday's new episode of Saturday Night Live. My favorite segment was the one involving the laser cats, which ended with the two dudes asking Lindsay if she would have sex with both of the guys. Sadly, she rejected the offer. Anyway, Lindsay was looking very happy for someone who recently made Jessica Simpson cry. That still cracks me up.

- MSNBC shakes up its prime time line-up
MSNBC will be shaking up their prime time line-up soon. Direct & Live with Rita Cosby will move back two hours at 8PM; Tucker Carlson's show will move up to 7PM and Scarborough Country will move up to 6PM. Will they finally be able to compete with FOX News Channel?

- Vince McMahon is a "Worst Person" candidate?
WWE Chairman Vince McMahon was named as a nominee for "Worst Person in the World" on Monday night on MSNBC's "Countdown with Keith Olbermann." McMahon was named "worse person" because of his upcoming Backlash PPV match which will see him team with his son Shane against Shawn Michaels & God.

- Saved by the Bell on Adult Swim? WTF???
Yes, "Saved by the Bell" started to air on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim early Tuesday morning at 12AM. Hell has fronzen over.

- God or the Girl
A&E aired their newest reality show on Easter Sunday involving three guys trying to become priests. However, they must be careful with their decision because they have girls to worry about, thus the premise for the show. Will they decide that serving the lord is more important than being married? We will have to wait and see.

- Sarah Lane :(
In some sad news this week, I learned that G4's Sarah Lane had left the network permanently to get married. That leaves only a few people from TechTV left on the network, most notably Adam Sessler & Morgan Webb. After her honeymoon, Sarah plans to roam around the world with her husband for 13-months. Bye, Sarah...

The Vicious TV Mini-Wrap:
- Gilmore Girls: "The Real Paul Anka"
Lorelai has a bizarre dream about her dog (named Paul Anka) and the REAL Paul Anka. Lorelai also deals with her parents search for a new home in Stars Hollow. She tries to convince them about how bad the town is to live in, but that gets her into trouble with Taylor. Meanwhile, Rory & Logan continue to have a spat over little things, which leads Logan to assume that Rory has not full forgiven him for sleeping with his sister's friends. Of course, they were on a break, but he forgot to tell her about it. Yeah, I hate it when that happens, you know. Later on, Rory visits Jess in Philadelphia, where she runs into Luke. On a personal side note: Lorelai looks hot with dark/light brown hair. This episode was better than last week due to Lorelai's hilarious comments during her walk around town with her parents. Next week, Lane gets married. ***1/2

- Scrubs: "My New Suit" (Show of the Week)
J.D.'s underachieving brother Dan (Tom Cavanagh) makes a surprise visit. Dan decides to pay a visit to Elliot because J.D. had her pretend to be into him in order to make him feel better. Of course, Dan ends up going over to Elliot's apartment and enters her place to have a threesome. The cool thing is that Elliot does not say no to it. Dan confronts J.D. about lying to him about Elliot being into him, but J.D. calms matters down by telling him that Elliot would not be into him because she wants a baby now. The truth is that Dan doesn't have a lot going on in his life, which he reveals to him at the end. Dan is crushed, but he later tells J.D. that he has a job interview and that makes J.D. feel better. Aww. J.D. also pressures Carla & Turk into making him their future baby's godfather ("Does that mixed baby of yours have a godfather."). Meanwhile, Carla & Turk think about baby names (Angie for a girl; George for a boy). J.D. also pretended to provide narrative on his life ("We'll be right back.") early on. Elsewhere, Dr. Kelso orders Dr. Cox to work with Ted on the hospital's lawsuits. I love it when Tom Cavanaugh shows up on the show. ED FOREVER!!! ****1/2

- My Name Is Earl: "O Karma, Where Art Thou?" (REPEAT)
Earl helps a newlywed couple go on their honeymoon. It seems Earl stole the wallet from the boyfriend and cost them their honeymoon. Earl decides to give them their long awaited honeymoon, and he will take over for the boyfriend at his fast food restaurant job. Unfortunately for Earl, he discovers that the manager is a real jerk who treats his employees like crap (forcing one to eat a hamburger wiped from a toilet). Earl accidentally hits on an employee girl ("You'll be my first..."). Later on, Earl pays a visit to his manager's (Mr. Patrick) house and discovers that he has the perfect life, which confuses Earl because karma should be kicking Mr. Patrick's ass. Earl thinks that karma might be punishing Mr. Patrick's package, but it turns that it's not. Finally, Earl decides that he has had enough and punches Mr. Patrick. This leads to a domino effect which sees karma finally destroy the jerk for good. However, Earl feels guilty and talks things over with Randy. Randy explains to Earl that karma used Earl to punish Mr. Patrick by punching him. Another excellent episode of the best show on television today. ****1/2

- The Office: "The Dundies" (REPEAT)
The Dunder Mifflin employees suffer through the annual office awards ceremony, 'The Dundies." Michael: "Who's going to give Kevin an award? Dunk N' Donuots?" That was hilarious. Also, Michael doing his best impression of Ping was awesome and offensive to Asians. That's always great. *****

- The O.C.: "The Dawn Patrol"
Ryan pays his mother a visit in order to have her come to his high school graduation, but he also ends up growing a relationship with one his mother's co-workers. Meanwhile, Seth breaks up with Summer for good. Adam Brody's character is just a whiney, little b*tch. Of course, Seth decides that he wants Summer back and will do anything he can to accomplish that, and getting into Brown University. Elsewhere, Sandy & Kirsten are having troubles yet again. Marissa continues to act like a "bad girl," but she breaks up an attempted gang rape. Well, the b*tch was f**king drunk, so if they wanted to [censored by 411mania.com], it would be okay. Anyway, Marissa runs back to her mommy after she has decided that she doesn't want to be a bad girl anymore. Aww, poor girl. I feel really bad for her. This show continues to repeat everything from the first two seasons, but I'm sure you fans (of the show) will think I'm crazy for saying that. However, next week's episode will see the LONG AWAITED return of Anna Stern!!! Finally, the show may not suck next week. **

- Justice League Unlimited: "Far From Home"
Green Arrow, Green Lantern & Supergirl have been brought into the future to help out a group of heroes. Supergirl instantly goes after a guy who has the Brainiac symbols on his forehead, but this is Brainiac 5. After the Green Lantern is captured and put under mind control (what else is new?), Green Arrow, Brainiac 5 & Supergirl try their best to prevent the evil group from destroying a planet. Brainiac 5 confesses to Supergirl that she is destined to die on this mission, but that doesn't stop Supergirl from going to the planet to fight off the mind controlled heroes. GL ends up beating the hell out of Supergirl, but his mind control device is destroyed. Don't worry, Supergirl is fine and everything turns out for the better. However, Supergirl decides to stick around in the future because she is in love with Brainiac 5. Superman accepts her decision, but he wants to know more about the boy that Supergirl likes so much. There was some VERY good action in this episode, but I felt that the dialogue on the part of Supergirl when it came to talk to Brainiac 5 (her flirting) was lame. ***1/2

- South Park: "Cartoon Wars, Part II"
We open things off with Terrance & Phillip complaining to their network about an image of Muhammad being pulled from their show. The rest of the REAL episode sees Cartman finally make it to FOX studios where he encounters a boy who bares a striking resemblance to Bart Simpson. Cartman strikes a conversation with the boy and they soon discover that they both hate Family Guy. When Kyle finally makes it to FOX studios, he runs into fake Bart Simpson -- who decides to trap Kyle in a room until Cartman makes it back. Later on, Cartman meets with the writers of FG, who are manatees. They pick out random ideas for the show and that's a FG episode. We get to see an actual joke created from this which sees Peter talk about the time he had a date with Gary Coleman. That was hilarious. Anyway, Cartman finally convinces the FOX president to pull the FG episode. Cartman's celebration is short-lived because he soon has his "final battle" with Kyle outside FOX HQ. After a rather lengthy battle, Kyle defeats Cartman thanks to help from Bart Simpson's skateboard. Kyle rushes to the FOX president's office and tells him not to pull the show. However, Cartman pops in and pulls a gun out on the president. Kyle finally convinces the president to allow FG to air uncensored. Cartman's gun turns out to be out of bullets. The image of Muhammad was censored by Comedy Central, but we do get Jesus defecating on President Bush. Other than the FG jokes and the final sequence between Cartman & Kyle, I just sat through this episode without much of a laugh. Fake Bart Simpson was enjoyable, but they should have made him into the whimp he truly is. ****

Viciously Ridiculous TV: [NEW SEGMENT]
- Trannies Gone Wild
I was watching The Surreal Life on VH1 a few days ago and I nearly busted a gut when Alexis Arquette (a drag queen) was being mocked at a restaurant for being a man in drag. She got into it with some dude, but that ended with the guy buying her a drink. Later on, Alexis was dancing with some dude and they kissed. That's when someone from the crowd screamed "take HIM home." Alexis went ballistic and it was another awesome moment in VH1 "reality" television history. >>>When Trannies Go Wild.

The Nielsen TV Ratings for April 3-9, 2006:
FOX's American Idol continues to dominate all comers yet again this week and it helps out House which comes in at 4th place. ABC's Sunday night line-up is nowhere to be seen in the top 10 this week.

1. American Idol- TUES (FOX) 16.6
2. American Idol- WED (FOX) 15.7
3. CSI (CBS) 14.7
4. House (FOX) 13.5
5. CBS NCAA Basketball Championship (CBS) 11.2
6. Deal or No Deal- MON (NBC) 10.7
7. Without a Trace (CBS) 10.4
8. NCIS (CBS) 10.0
9. Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (NBC) 9.9
9. The Unit (CBS) 9.9

New TV-on-DVD Released Today: April 18th, 2006
Doogie Howser, M.D.: Season 4
Remington Steele: Season 3
The Sentinel: The Complete 1st Season
Thundercats: Season 2, Volume 1 (Pick of the Week)


From the Vault: Classic TV-on-DVD:
- The Job: The Complete Series
Denis Leary is one of my favorite comedians, and he gets to show off some of his comedic skills on the short-lived ABC series The Job. The show lasted for two short seasons (18 episodes worth), but it had a very good run. While it was not as funny as a Seinfeld or as brilliantly written as Arrested Development, the show managed to capture my attention thanks to its characters. Check out my review on the show here and buy it!



The Vicious TV Babe of the Week:
Trishelle Cannatella is your TV Babe of the Week. She mostly has experience being a "reality TV whore" by appearing on The Surreal Life and The Real World. She also did some E! "reality" show, but I forgot the name of it. Anyway, she's hot and has a AMAZING body! Enjoy.





The images work now. My apologizes.
>>See her t*ts!

>>See her t*ts! 2

The Vicious Links: Proud Sponsors of the Vicious TV News Wrap
>>>The Warped News continues to cut a pace that is unparallel by any other writer at 411mania. Cris is the Cal Ripkin of 411movies. Ashish should test Cris Murphy for 'roids. Yes, I'm looking out for my fellow 411 pal, which is just another GREAT quality that a president should have. Vote AND Die!!! Oh, and Cris brings back my segment due to popular demand.



Henry Rollins, the articulate and opinionated former lead singer of "Black Flag," front man of the "Rollins Band," actor, author and spoken word artist, will continue to give us his unique take on the current state of pop culture, politics and everything entertainment, for better or worse. THE HENRY ROLLINS SHOW takes an uncensored approach to talk show programming with an independent voice that strikes a brilliant balance of humor, angst, art and intellect.

>>>Want to be an official member of the Vicious Coalition? Well, you obviously need to buy the OFFICIAL Steve Vicious t-shirts (All Rights Reserved.).

The Vicious TV News Wrap Credits:
Written & Directed by Steve Vicious
Art/Graphic Designs by SteveCorp
Executive Producers: Steve Vicious, Ashish Pabari & Scott Rutherford
Original Concept by Scott Rutherford & Steve Vicious
A SteveCorp.net & 411mania.com Presentation

On the Next Vicious TV News Wrap (EP#31): April 25th, 2006
- I'll take a look at shows that will probably get canceled at the end of May. I will also TRY to discuss why they should or should not be canceled. Arrested Development...*dream*....

- Imus In the Morning

- Dave Chappelle speaks on leaving his hit show.

- What About Brian?