The VICIOUS TV News Wrap 05.16.06
Posted by Steve Vicious on 05.16.2006
Dave Chappelle on Conan; The War of Egos between Rosie & Star will never take place after all; And what type of blowjob do you want from Paris Hilton! All in the latest Vicious TV News Wrap!
- Taped in front of a not-so-live studio audience in Vicious HQ in CA
- Opening Segment: Introduction
Welcome to another edition of the Vicious TV News Wrap. I am your host and future sex god, Steve Vicious. I'm still very busy because this is finals week, so this is will be the Vicious Mini-TV News Wrap. Anyway, let's get back to the real news...
The Top TV Story of the Week:
- The Fall Schedule of 2006-2007 rumors
Yes, it is my favorite time of the year as the five major television networks will be announcing their fall line-up this week! Unfortunately, this also means that the networks will officially announce the death of some of their shows. But it's all good because we will have some new shows in the fall that will help us get over the death of our cult favorites (Arrested Development and King of Queens). I have heard rumors that ABC will have a sitcom that stars TV legend Ted Danson (Cheers), who I hope will go back to his Cheers look and not the "Becker look." I have mentioned a few shows in the past couple of weeks, but I am REALLY looking forward to the NBC sitcom starring John Lithgow and Jeffrey Tambor. I'm hoping it will be a winner. That's about it for now, but I will try to have full-coverage of all of the newest television shows next week.
Random TV News/Thoughts/Gossip/Etc.
- Star Jones versus Rosie O'Donnell
Damn, it seems that we will never get to see Rosie versus Star on The View. The reason seems to be that Rosie demanded that Star be gone after she comes into the show because she criticized Jones for lying about mysteriously losing all that weight she has lost. I can imagine that Star Jones will land a talk-show where she will bore us to tears about her husband, Al Reynolds. Mujeres.
- Dave Chappelle sighting #1002
Super mega funny comic Dave Chappelle was on Late Night with Conan OBrien last week. Conan was coming to you live, from Chicago, Illinois. I thought Dave looked a bit startled to be there, but he did an excellent job of making me laugh. I think the fans were chanting Season Three and Dave said: Nice try, Comedy Central. COME BACK!!!
The Vicious TV Mini-Wrap:
- Gilmore Girls: "Partings"
Rory throws Logan a party on the eve of his London departure. Rory also deals with facing the harsh reality regarding Logan's departure, which she actually ACCEPTS. Meanwhile, Lorelai continues to give Luke the cold shoulder. Lorelai also deals with dinner at her parents with Christopher. Unfortunately for Christopher, the Gilmores have set him up on a blind date with a shrink. In the end, the shrink ends up listening to Lorelai's problems regarding her phobia of marriage. She blabs about not wanting to get married, yet she feels that her time is almost up. Ah, those whacky women. And just to annoy me even further, Lolerai blows up and goes off on Luke by giving him an ultimatum on marrying her. Luke doesn't like that, so Lorelai walks away and goes off to Christopher's place. I'm sure we all know where this is going. I swear to God, if she f**ks him, I'll quit watching the show forever! F**k, she did. FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Lorelai breakdown, while well acted by the beautiful and perfect (she's now imperfect) Lauren Graham, was to be expected and it left me angry. How can Lorelai tell the shrink that she LOVES Luke, but then she sleeps with someone else. Not only that, she was SOBER!!! GOD! GOD! GOD! The Rory/Logan stuff was well played, and Logan's dad explaining his side of the story about wanting Logan in London put Rory in her place. ***
- Scrubs: "My Deja Vu My Deja Vu"
J.D. reflects on working at Sacred Heart for the last five years. Meanwhile, Dr. Cox returns to work after his drunken breakdown ("Welcome back Coxer") and he torments Elliot even more than usual. J.D.'s "futureback" which sees him discovering a coffee maker under his son's bed. Absolutely hilarious. ***1/2
- Law & Order: SVU: "Web"
A woman believes her young son was molested by her husband; an online pedophile site is investigated. This was a very creepy episode because I think it was (wait for it...) "ripped from the headlines." But this episode did see Olivia return to the SVU unit, so that's a plus. SVU's season finale is next week, with special guest star Britney Snow. Yummy. Vicious TV Babe of the Week material? ***1/2
- The Office: "Casino Night" (Season Finale)
Employees take some big gambles when they host a charity casino-night in their warehouse. ***1/2
- My Name is Earl: "Number One" (Season Finale)
Earl has decided that it's time to cross number one off his karma list by surrendering all of his lotto winnings in order to make up for stealing ten dollars from a guy at the Camden Market. ***1/2
- Justice League Unlimited: "Destroyer" (Series Finale)
The Legion of Doom and the Justice League decide to team up to stop Darkseid from destroying the Earth. The League & the LOD manage to stop Darkseid's armies of Apokolips. Meanwhile, Superman, Batman & Lex Luther battle Darkseid, but the dark lord manages to get the better of them. In the end, Luther manages to sacrifice himself to save Earth by luring Darkseid with some weird power that I forgot the name of. Great episode which evens out the heavy story driven part 1 with this heavy action packed part 2. JLU, you will be missed. ****1/2
- Family Guy: "Untitled Griffin Family History"
While the Griffins are being robbed, they decide to take cover in a shelter. Peter tells the family about their family's past and the rest of this episode was the biggest snoozer I have ever seen in FG history. **
- American Dad: "Tears of a Clooney"
Francine plots to destroy George Clooney by breaking his heart because he ruined her chance of being a big Hollywood star. It turns out that Stan has fallen under George's love spell. Stan ends up breaking George's heart and Francine is happy. Meanwhile, Roger builds a vineyard and starts a private sweatshop. Hayley ends up turning Roger into child services. Steve has to let go of his two slave girls ("I let you kiss each other while I watched and this is how they repay me?"). ****
The Nielsen Ratings for May 1-7, 2006:
You know, it's amazing that after five installments that FOX's American Idol has continued to dominate in the ratings. I mean, I was more than expecting the popularity to have died down a few seasons ago. Grey's Anatomy continues to perform well for ABC, thus showing the world that airing an episode after the Super Bowl was more than worth it. Law & Order: SVU has cracked the top 10 and I hope it stays there. Take a look at the rest of the ratings below:
1. American Idol- WED (FOX) 16.9
2. American Idol- TUES (FOX) 16.6
3. CSI (CBS) 16.2
4. Grey's Anatomy (ABC) 13.6
5. House (FOX) 13.5
6. Desperate Housewives (ABC) 13.3
7. Without a Trace (CBS) 12.8
8. CSI: Miami (CBS) 12.5
9. House SP (FOX) 10.5
10. Law & Order: SVU (NBC) 10.2
New TV-on-DVD Released Today: May 16, 2006
- Home Movies: Season 4 (Pick of the Week)
Brendon, Jason, Melissa and Coach McGuirk return for their final season of Adult Swim's massively underrated Home Movies. It may not have the looks of Family Guy or American Dad, but it sure is pretty damn funny. Check it out.
- The Big Valley: Season 1
- Grounded for Life: Season 2
- Here Come the Brides: The Complete 1st Season
- Hill Street Blues: The Complete 2nd Season
- Supernanny: Season 1
- That Girl: Season 1
Viciously Ridiculous:
- The Simple Life 4: Till Death Do Us Part
Damn, just when I thought I had seen the last of Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie, they will return to "reality" television on E! June 4th. I think they will play the role of the mother in each or whatever. The Simple Life is the most scripted "reality" television show of all time. Ah, I hate covering "reality" television. But you know what would make a great "reality" show? Steve Vicious getting a blowjob from Paris Hilton! Hey, she may be as dumb as a Chanel bag of bricks, but this bitch looks like she gives an awesome blowjob. What do you think? Vote below on what you would do with that mouth! Is E! bringing the Simple Life back from the dead ridiculous? You decide.
The Vicious TV Poll of the Week:
Last week's poll question was: "If you were dating Teri Hatcher, would you dump her?" The results: No (She's a MILF) ended up with 75% (292 votes); Yes (She's annoying) with 25% (96 votes). As always, thank you for voting. This week's poll is about Paris Hilton's mouth:
The Vicious TV Babe of the Week:
- Olivia Munn
While watching the E3 2006 coverage on G4, I came across this unbelievably lovely woman by the name of Olivia Munn. How much more amazing can this lovely and seemingly perfect woman be? She was really into gaming, which is enough for any one of us geeks to get happy about. She looks a bit like porn star Tara Patrick, in my opinion. I haven't seen much of G4 lately, but I think Olivia co-hosts Attack of the Show (M-F 7PM EST). Everyone has a MySpace, so check her out there.
The Vicious FeedBack: (NEW FEATURE)
I managed to get two pieces of e-mail last week. That's tied for third highest all-time. I think the record is four in one day. Anyway, let's take a look at your Vicious TV Questions:
Carl from the UK: Not feedback so to speak but I am a regular reader of The Vicious TV News Wrap. I'm actually emailing you from a work perspective. I work for a media agency over in the UK as a TV planner and buyer, in other words I place TV ads in the most appropriate environments. I'll cut to the chase though, in the last two years the main UK stations have seen an influx of US imports from the quality of Earl and Lost to the dregs of Killer Instinct, what I'm basically saying is that the imports have become a crucial part of many UK broadcasters schedule. I was basically wondering if you could give me any tips - be it links or your own thoughts and opinions as to the next batch of hit series in the making/soon to hit screens over there?
As an idea of the latest 'new' US shows to hit our shores, we're literally just getting Lost season 2, are in the middle of Prison Break, Invasion and Supernatural. The most recent shows started have been Commander in Chief and Sleeper Cell. I'd really appreciate your thoughts on this
SV: One of the shows that I feel has the biggest potential to be a smash hit in the US (and if it makes it to the UK) is NBC's "Twenty Good Years," which stars Jeffrey Tambor (Arrested Development) and John Lithgow (3rd Rock From the Sun). I think this show could very well be something special, but will it draw ratings? Hey, if the show is good, I'll stick with it. Both actors are highly entertaining, so the sitcom can basically write itself. While I am not a big fan of Matthew Perry, I am looking forward to Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. From what I have heard the show will be a behind the scenes look at the production of a show like 'Saturday Night Live.' It is currently being compared to 'The Larry Sanders Show' and that's enough to get me to check it out.
hardcorepikachu@yahoo.ca: "Uh no, Darkseid is more powerful then Brainiac was and
pretty much always has been. In Superman the Animated
Series, Superman always won hand to hand against
Brainiac but Superman hadn't gotten a clear win
against Darkseid one on one untill the Justice League
show. In fact in thier first two encounters, Darkseid
defeated Superman handilly.
As for the reason Darkseid returned and not Brainiac.
Well in the episode where Superman finally defeated
Darkseid they were fighting on Brainiac's asteroid
ship. Said ship exploded with Superman only narrowly
escaping with help from Batman. Now this explosion
destroyed most of Brainiac [since the guy was mostly
dead anyway thanks to Darkseid's plan] and killed
Darkseid. However in DC Comics terms Darkseid is
pretty much considered a god, making him much easier
to bring back then Brainiac."
SV: I actually like Darkseid the most because he wants to dominate the universe, but Superman did kick the crap out of him in the series finale ("Legacy, Part II") of TAS. Superman beat Darkseid severely enough to hand him over to the people of Apokolips for judgement. However, they refused to do anything to Darkseid because he is their GOD. Darkseid gave Superman one hell of quote: "I am many things, Kal-El, but here I am God." It's definitely one of the greatest animated episodes of all time, in my honest opinion.
The Wrap-up:
Well, it was another nice week of television and I would like to thank myself for showing up to do the show. I would also like to thank myself for searching through the television, Google, magazines, and anything else for television news. Also, you may opine via email regarding any piece of television news, opinion, rumor, gossip, etc, by sending the feedback button below. Remember, I'm looking out for your television viewing needs and I hope you all come back for another helping of "Vicious TVology" next Tuesday (May 26th, 2006).
The Vicious TV News Wrap Credits:
Written & Directed by Steve Vicious
Art/Graphic Designs by SteveCorp
Executive Producers: Steve Vicious, Ashish Pabari & Scott Rutherford
Original Concept by Scott Rutherford & Steve Vicious
A SteveCorp.net & 411mania.com Presentation
>>>I'm still working on American Dad: Volume 1, but I have no time right now to really complete it. I will then tackle Rescue Me: The Complete 2nd Season within the next two weeks. SUMMER VACATION!
On the Next Vicious TV News Wrap (EP#35): May 23rd, 2006
- The Networks reveal their line-up for 2006-2007
- The CW Network will announce what shows will be saved from the WB & UPN merger
- Arrested Development finally canceled?
- The O.C. ends it third season next week. I will be in front of my television LIVE for all the latest from Orange County.
- Will FOX announce new episodes of "Futurama" this week?
The Nielsen Ratings for May 1-7, 2006:
