The Sublime Movie News 05.24.06
Posted by Matthew Mills on 05.24.2006
The new Rocky movie, the Tarantino/Rodriguez horror flick, more Da Vinci stuff, opening weekend roulette, and more!
PROLOGUE
There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call… The Sublime Movie Digest.
Who's doing what movie this week? What's opening this weekend? Who wrote a moderately entertaining column? Is anybody even reading this one?
We answer all these questions, and MORE! Right here! Right now!
And away we go…
Ho-o-o-ly cow. There's tons of news this week. And I'm adding an extra feature to kinda flesh out the column. And I'll be adding another one next week. I would have added both this week, but I ran out of time. Or I got really lazy. Whichever comes first.
So, I spent a weekend in Gatlinburg, TN… and now that my battery is all recharged and stuff, I'm ready to go. And in interest of all the freakin' news I have this week, I'll get right into it, how about? Flippin' sweet, man.
THE NEWS YOU CARE ABOUT
Note: These are put in no particular order of importance.
Bryan Singer may be forced to back out of directing "Logan's Run" because if "Superman Returns" does well, he will need to direct a sequel that will take place at the same time as "Logan's Run."
Singer has been working on "Logan's Run" with producer Joel Silver for awhile but the "Superman" franchise appears to be a higher priority.
Credit: Variety
Bryan Singer is cool and all… but man. What a whore. I hope he likes his new world of directing Superman movies. In other news, Logan's Run is a movie I wouldn't mind seeing updated. I really liked the original's backstory, and think a lot could be added to it to make it a little less cheesy. The robot kind of killed it for me… but Washington D.C. all grown over? Awesome, man.
"Rocky Balboa," the sixth "Rocky" movie, will hit theaters December 22nd. MGM has come on board to distribute the film.
Sylvester Stallone wrote the screenplay and will also direct the film about boxer Rocky Balboa coming out of retirement for one final fight.
Credit: Zap2it
That's just 6 shades of awesome… one for every Rocky movie. And you know what? The teaser trailer is up now too. You can see it if you go to Sly's official webpage… SylvesterStallone.com
Kevin Spacey has signed on for a role in "Joe Claus" which stars Vince Vaughn. Spacey will play a villain in the movie.
The comedy is about Santa's loser brother (Vince Vaughn) going back to the North Pole. The cast also includes Paul Giamatti, Judi Dench, and Michael Higgins.
Credit: Variety
I think we can all agree that this is shaping up to be an interesting movie, yes? There's a few moderate-to-big name actors in this thing. It must be a pretty decent script to be attracting all this people. I'm definitely keeping an eye out for this one later this year.
The heavily anticipated horror flick, "Grind House," from directors Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez will hit theaters April 6th, 2007.
"Grind House" will actually be two films in one. Each director will have a 60 minute horror film that will pay homage to the exploitation cinema of the 1970s.
Rodriguez's zombie flick will be called "Planet Terror" while Tarantino's slasher will be called "Death Proof."
The cast for Rodriguez's film includes Freddy Rodriguez ("Poseidon"), Rose McGowan ("Charmed"), Josh Brolin ("Into The Blue"), Marley Shelton ("Sin City") Michael Biehn ("Alien"), Stacy Ferguson (also known as Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas, "Poseidon"), Jeff Fahey ("Wyatt Earp"), and Michael Parks ("From Dusk Till Dawn").
Credit: …?
Somehow, "heavily anticipated" just doesn't quite sum up the feeling for this movie. Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez have done horror together before… And it was severely underrated. (Footnote: I'm talking about From Dusk Till Dawn, you ninny). I can only imagine how much fun Rodriguez will be with a zombie flick… and Tarantino more than likely can pull off the slasher quite imaginatively. They even have an interesting cast of unknowns that are still familiar faces.
Yes… Yes, I think this movie will be fine. If not utterly and completely fanstic.
With the box office success of "The Da Vinci Code," Sony/Columbia wants to bring Dan Brown's "Angels and Demons" to the big screen. "Angels and Demons" is Brown's third novel and also focuses on Robert Langdon, the character played by Tom Hanks in "Da Vinci Code."
"Angels and Demons" introduces the character of symbologist Robert Langdon before Brown's fourth book, "The Da Vinci Code." It tells the story of Langdon's brush with another shadowy secret society, the Illuminati, and his frantic quest for the world's most powerful energy source, in the company of a beautiful Italian physicist whose father, a brilliant physicist, has been murdered.
Sony/Columbia also wants Tom Hanks back to play Langdon and Ron Howard back to direct.
Akiva Goldsman has already agreed to write the screenplay. She adapted "The Da Vinci Code."
Credit: Variety
I know some sheep out there might actually care about this. I've never read, nor ever will read, The Da Vinci Code or Angels & Demons, but both are apparently pretty popular right now. So I'll report it as news you should care about. I'll never see either of the movies because I have enough religious mumbo jumbo shoved down my throat in the real life, so I don't really need to watch a movie that stirs up a lot of false controversy within the Christian right. Silly Christians just never learn that bitching about stuff just makes it more popular. Sigh.
That's it.
…AND THE NEWS YOU DON'T
Note: These aren't in any particular order, either.
Rob Lowe is set to star in "Stir of Echoes: The Dead Speak" for Lion's Gate.
Lowe will star in a follow-up to the 1999 Kevin Bacon film which was written and directed by David Koepp. The movie will follow a similar theme, in which a soldier will return home from duty in Iraq but sees ghostly visions of the dead.
Credit: Variety
Personally? I'll see the movie. I don't expect it to be very high quality, but I liked the original enough to where I would go see the sequel. And Rob Lowe is awesome, if only for his small role in Thank You For Smoking. We'll see.
Lindsay Lohan and Elizabeth Banks have signed on for roles in "Bill" which stars Aaron Eckhart.
The project follows Eckhart as a man going through a mid-life crisis whose wife has a fling with a local newscaster that's broadcast over the Internet.
Credit: Variety
…Why won't Lindsay Lohan just go away and die somewhere? Now she has to taint Aaron Eckhart? As if The Core wasn't a big enough blow to him? Damn you, crack whore… damn you straight to HELL!
In all seriousness, this movie looks like the shit. Not just shit, but THE shit. I hate Lindsay Lohan. Hating Lindsay Lohan makes me feel cool.
Vin Diesel has signed on to star in "Black Water Transit," a new action thriller for director Samuel Bayer.
The story follows a man who makes a deal to help the police catch a contract killer in order to get his own son out of jail. The capture however goes fatally wrong with the man forced on the run for apparently killing four cops.
Credit: Hollywood Reporter
Yawn. Another basic, shallow action flick from the bald midget. Try something a little more challenging, will you Vin? Next.
Kirsten Dunst has joined the cast of "Be Kind Rewind" for director Michael Gondry. Jack Black is set to star in the film.
Written by Gondry, the comedy follows a junkyard worker (Black) who attempts to sabotage a power plant that he believes is melting his brain. His plan goes wrong, however, and causes a magnetic field that destroys all the video tapes in his best friend's video store. Fearing that the store will lose its only customer - an elderly lady - they attempt to refilm all the movies she rent with on their own with a video camera.
Credit: Hollywood Reporter
Wow… just… Wow. I don't even understand how this movie could POSSIBLY redeemed. It sounds bad all across the board. The only positive is that Jack Black can liven just about anything up if he wants, but this sounds like it might be a little too over the top even for the Tenacious D alumni. Man. It sounds about right for Kirsten Dunst, at least.
Bruce Willis confirmed at the Cannes Film Festival in France over the weekend that shooting for "Die Hard 4" will begin soon with hopes to have it released next year.
"We're as close as we've ever got to getting Die Hard 4 started. It won't be called Die Hard 4 but that will be the story. Hopefully it will be out next summer."
Credit: IMDB
Yay. Pudgy Bruce Willis doing action flicks. He was good in 16 Blocks, but that's because he was supposed to be out of shape and everything. What's he going to do when he's supposed to be in a movie requiring some kind of action? Will Samuel L. Jackson be back? Will he fix things with his wife? Will the second cousin twice removed of the original villain come back to haunt him? Stay tuned and find out the answers to these non-important questions!
Frankie Muniz and Harvey Keitel have joined the cast of "My Sexiest Year," a new coming of age film from writer-director Howard Himelstein. The cast also includes Amber Valletta, Christopher McDonald, Frances Fisher, Haylie Duff, singer Ryan Cabrera, and lingerie model Karolina Kurkova.
The plot apparently involves a young man (Muniz) who has a romantic encounter with a supermodel (Valetta). Keitel plays the kid's father.
Credit: Hollywood Reporter
Honestly, is the world crying out for more Frankie Muniz? Malcolm is over. Now you can just… go away. Please. Frankie Muniz is not someone who could believably have an encounter with a super model. He looks freaking twelve. (I'm not jealous.)
OPENING WEEKEND ROULETTE
Which one should YOU see? How the hell should I know? Let's discuss!
Opening April 21…
X-Men 3: The Last Stand
Directed by Brett Ratner.
Starring Everyone In The Freaking Universe (Including Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, and Patrick Stewart).
PROS: Nice trailer. Excellent story to go off of. A decent enough group of actors. Kelsey Grammar is beast? Awesome.
CONS: X-men minus Brian Singer, plus Brett Ratner, multiplied by 0 Gambit. It's simple arithmetic, kids.
FINAL: I think I'll go see Mission Impossible III, actually…
An Inconvienent Truth
Directed by Davis Guggenheim.
Starring …Al Gore?...
PROS: Uh…
CONS: Everything.
FINAL: …Why?
The (Not SO) F.A.Q. Section
Q: What the hell is this?
A: This is a section where I answer questions that are asked or not asked frequently. I'll answers one or two questions a week, depending on how I feel. Sometimes they'll be funny, sometimes they'll be serious, sometimes they'll be unfunny when they were supposed to be funny.
Q: Why are you doing this?
A: To flesh out my column and make it more "personable".
Q: Is this going to be lame?
A: Not at all. It's going to be like drinking unicorn giggles.
Q: What do those taste like?
A: The color pink.
Q: What does this have to do with movies?
A: Depends on what you, the reader, ask. It could be about anything.
WHEN YOU GET BORED HERE…
Check out these other fantabulous columns:
Leonard Hayhurst answers a few questions over at Ask 411Movies
Yeah, I got really rushed here because I forgot that I had to make dinner at the same time (whoo hoo) and I have to go to work, so I've been running between the store, kitchen, and computer for the last hour and a half or so while I write this. Good times, good times.
