The 411 Top 5 06.01.06: Week 11

Posted by Trevor Snyder on 06.02.2006

The Top 5 Most Overrated Movies

You all know the feeling: You hear a group of friends of colleagues raving about a certain movie, and you find yourself thinking, "are they all insane? Did they watch the same piece of crap I did?"

Of course, one man's classic is another man's...well, let's say Steven Seagal movie. But what really drives you crazy is when it seems like EVERYONE loves a movie that you are just certain is garbage.

Well, we here at 411 feel your pain. And now, you'll get to feel ours. But be forewarned, chances are good you might come across negative comments about some of your favorite films this week, as we present:

THE TOP 5 MOST OVERRATED MOVIES

Trevor Snyder

5) Star Wars (the entire series)
4) Gladiator
3) Titanic
2) Napoleon Dynamite
1) Crash

5 – Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the Star Wars series. And I'm in agreement with most of the general populace that the recent prequel trilogy didn't quite live up to the original three films. But, I don't really consider The Phantom Menace to be the all-out assault on my precious memories that many seem to regard it as. Why is that? Because, let's face it, folks; Star Wars was always just a goofy, cheesy, enjoyable sci-fi serial. No more, no less. I understand that it was an important moment in film history, but the only entry in the series that could really be considered a very good movie is The Empire Strikes Back. George Lucas wasn't trying to create the greatest sci-fi epic of all time, he was simply paying tribute to the cheesy sci-fi stuff like Flash Gordon that he had loved as a kid. If everyone could just learn to take the Star Wars franchise a little less seriously, maybe there wouldn't be as many people acting like watching the prequels was akin to watching your mother get beat up.

4 – Once again, this is actually a movie I like quite a bit. But, at the end of the day, it's really nothing more than a damn good action movie. The fact that it beat both Traffic and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon for Best Picture at the Oscars still continues to confuse me.

3 – You know, I'm not much of a chick-flick kinda guy, but even I can tell you that there are dozens of better love story movies, with much more believable relationships, than this one. So how the hell did this deserve the huge box office it ended up with? And what was up with with all the women in America having to see it multiple times in the theater? I guess it shows what women are really looking for: a relationship that starts off amazing, and then the guy drowns before there's any chance of things eventually turning sour. On a side note, ponder this: do you think if James Cameron was given the opportunity to go back in time and prevent the actual Titanic disaster, he would? Makes you think, doesn't it?

2 – The thing I always hear from people is "I didn't think Napoleon Dynamite was funny the first time I watched it, but the more I watched it the more I started to get it." No, the more you watched it, the more you started to fool yourself into thinking there's anything even remotely funny about it. Which there isn't. So why do people feel the need to be in on it? Perhaps it's because of the thing that makes me despise Napoleon Dynamite the most, the fact that it was made to be a cult movie. True cult movies, like Rocky Horror Picture Show or Night of the Living Dead, aren't made to be cult films. They develop a following over time, the "cult" forms naturally. That's the way it's meant to be. The makers of Napoleon Dynamite clearly wanted to manufacture an instant cult hit, so they created a movie that isn't so much an actual story with real characters, but instead just odd situations with a main character who is really nothing more than a catchphrase factory. You can almost sense the people involved dreaming up the merchandise while filming, and making sure that Napoleon's mannerisms would be easy for everyone to imitate. Then, to seal the deal, I remember seeing ads for the movie on MTV, proclaiming it to be the "movie everyone is talking about," long before anyone was talking about it. Hmm, I wonder if that's maybe because its an MTV film? And say, could that also perhaps be the reason it won Best Picture at the prestigious MTV Movie Awards.

1 – Perhaps the most stunningly mediocre movie to ever win Best Picture at the Academy Awards. The majority of the nation's critics didn't even enjoy the film, and yet it rode a sudden wave of huge popularity to defeat four much more deserving movies. What gives? But, let's forget about the Oscars for a second, because they've made lots of blunders in the past. What drives me nuts about Crash are those people who watch it and then talk about how groundbreaking it is, and say it makes us confront things that we like to pretend don't exist, or have gone away. What fantasy world are these people living in that they need a movie like Crash to teach them that racism is still a serious problem? What, you mean sometimes black people get pulled over by white cops for no real reason?? What do you mean rich white women get nervous around young black men?? Thanks, Crash, I never would have known. C'mon, this is an incredibly simplistic film full of pretty much every cliché in the book dealing with racism, and full of characters that don't aspire to be anything but broad stereotypes. I truly believe this film will be for the most part forgotten in about twenty years or so, but it's huge popularity at the moment is just mind-boggling to me.


Matthew Craggs

5) October: Ten Days That Shook The World
4) Pirates of the Carribean
3) Indiana Jones and the whatever of whatever
2) Napoleon Dynamite
1) Titanic

5 - Damned near three and a half hours of rapid cut editing. When you're working with a silent film and use few subtitles with a plot where the people of Russia are a character, the modern day audience is down-right f'ed. Even if I could tell who was playing Stalin and who was playing Lenin I wouldn't enjoy it. Ah, well. At least it was a chance to stare at the lady film students. They were fast asleep and didn't notice my leers.

4 - Holy start with a bang and then fizzle out, Batman. This movie could have stopped a quarter of the way through and made it's way on the servicable action picture list, but it chose to lag instead of cutting it at the proper point. Now, not only is there a sequel, but there is a demand for a sequel. Will wonders never cease?

3- I still have no idea what people see in Indiana Jones. Harrison Ford can do one face - the Harrison Ford face - and the rest of the cast isn't much better. Except Connery, of course. He hates snakes, big ball coming, yawn. When's dinner?

2 - I'm a fan of the Napolean picture. I really am a fan. I think the characters are very real yet unique. The story isn't overwhemling and gives these characters a chance to be themselves and let us into their world. But the funniest movie in the last ten years, says Richard Roeper? I give the cast and crew credit for a good job but there are funnier scripts the stoner college guys can recite to each other.

1 - Come, now. Who doesn't have this at the top of their most overrated list? It was a technical marvel, true, but how many Oscar nominations did the picture get? Fourteen? Again, kudos for the picture, James Cameron, but Titanic is the quintessential overrated picture.


Bryan Kristopowitz

5) Pretty Woman (1990)
4) My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002)
3) The Bourne Identity (2002)
2) Pulp Fiction (1994)
1) Batman Begins (2005)

Honorable Mentions

Reservoir Dogs (1992): I like this movie. It's my third favorite Tarantino flick (The Kill Bill two are my favorites) and it has quite a bit going for it. But I don't think it's that great. It's certainly not the masterpiece most people seem to think it is. It's a play. It's written like a play, sounds like a play, and works like a play. Plays are not movies. You could probably shave off a good twenty five minutes and have a better movie. But that's just me.

-Sin City (2005): Yes, it's just like the comic book, but it's boring.

5 - Richard Gere is probably one of the worst actors in Hollywood. I can't stand him. The only movie I've ever liked him in is An Officer and a Gentleman, and that's really only because Louis "I no longer have a career" Gosset, Jr. gets to beat the crap out of him. In this flick he picks up the bubbly hooker Julia Roberts and pays her to hang out with him for a week. Even if he is rich, why hang out with him? The movie has an excruciating pace, too. The story could be done again, sure, but the next time lets get some people with charisma. Or likeability.

4 - The movie has its moments. Toula's family is funny, and the courtship between Nia Vardalo's Toula and John Corbett's Ian Miller is entertaining for a little while. But you can only take so much bizarre ethnic family hooha before you start to wonder why this movie is so popular. It's a TV movie at best. There's nothing wrong with TV movies, but it should have been better. It should have been something else. And that whole Windex thing? Someone actually tried to do that to me on time. Exactly.

3 - When this movie came out some of my non-action movie fan friends went and saw it and crapped their pants. They went to see it because of Matt Damon and they were amazed at the story and the character and they claimed they never experienced anything like that before. To me, it's a Chuck Bronson movie with a pretty boy star and a bigger production budget. It's a good action movie with some cool stunts, but it's nothing to get too excited about. And I don't want to hear any of this "smart and sexy" crapola or the "intelligent film" stuff either. It's an action movie with an unstoppable hero. It came out at a time when we mostly had hip and edgy Scream like action movies and Bad Boys knock offs. It's well done, but, again, it isn't a masterpiece. And Doug Liman should be put in director exile for the TV show Heist.

2 - The flick that brought John Travolta back from the Look Who's Talking franchise and the whatever else he was involved in at the time, and it brought even greater fame and fortune to Quentin Tarantino and Roger Avary because it was the "it" movie. It had everything in it. Allegedly. I've read the script, seen the flick five times. It was okay the first time, and it's been okay ever since. I think the movie is actually pretty boring. It's got some great performances (Sameul L. Jackson is great, and Travolta is pretty decent. And Ving Rhames is Ving Rhames) but the movie, for me, just doesn't work. This movie almost made the top of my list. It probably should have since it's been around longer than the one in first, but I couldn't help it.

1 - I don't like this movie. It's just not very good. Yes, it delves into Bruce Wayne's backstory, it attempts to explain the pathos behind Wayne's decision to become the Caped Crusader and why he decided on the whole "bat" thing. It's got a pretty cool car, some good performances (Liam Neeson is, as usual, outstanding, but even that can't help this movie) and an interesting "look." But the movie never really does much of anything exciting. This movie is just Batman and Robin with a more serious tone. The multi villain storyline is one of the things that got Joel Schumacher and that whole bunch in trouble. It does the same thing to Nolan and star Christian Bale. Why is Scarecrow even in this movie? And the whole flashback thing at the beginning is annoying, too. Is the movie "too serious?" I don't think whether or not it's serious has anything to do with anything. The movie isn't exciting. That's the problem. It plods along, trying to say something when it can't because it's too bust trying to tell the audience it's trying to say something. I could go on, but I won't. This movie is just awful.


Arnold Furious

5) Bridget Jones Diary
4) Silence of the Lambs
3) Titanic
2) Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
1) Meet The Parents

I've selected five films that I don't particularly like but other people seem to. At #5 is Bridget Jones. I know it's a chick flick, so I was pretty much guaranteed to hate it anyway, but Hugh Grant must die. Everything he's in sucks. Same stupid floppy hair and ‘oh I'm so befuddled I must be cute' thing. How very British of you, Hugh. I just want to punch him in the face. Same as I do anytime I meet anyone like that in the real world, which, thankfully, isn't often. I didn't even finish watching Bridget Jones. It was so awful I had to walk away. I've walked out of one film, ever. This one.

At #4 we have the second best film made about the Hannibal Lecter character. Anthony Hopkins in his most overrated role. It's not a clever character. It's way OTT. That "ate his liver" speech? Rubbish. Compare that to Brian motherfuckin' Cox in Manhunter playing the same exact character. Still insane, but much more real with this beauty of a line; "And if one does what God does enough times, one will become as God is." Eat THAT with some fava beans and a nice Chianti, motherfucker!

#3 Titanic. Shockingly won 11 Oscars despite shonky CGI and terrible acting. I think I'm more offended by the fact that LA Confidential, a film approximately a million times better, was nominated the same year and won a paltry two Oscars. Also inferior to Good Will Hunting and As Good As It Gets and yet beat all three to Best Picture, and then Jim Cameron had the temerity to ask for a minutes silence for all of those that died on Titanic. Spielberg didn't ask for that when he won with Schindler's List for Christ's sake. He had far more right. Just, urgh.

#2 is a film that everyone seemed to like but I kept seeing the same comment "I never read the book but…" before a deluge of praise. Bollocks. I read all the books, loved the TV show, loved the radio series, grew up with the whole thing. I hated the film. It sucked. Totally failed to capture the essential essence of the books. The casting was a disaster. I sat there afterwards thinking all these good reviews came from people who'd seem some other movie. I was shocked, nay, astounded at the positivity. Hollywood totally missing the point is nothing new, but this is one of the spectacular examples and one of the biggest cinematic failures I've ever had the misfortune to encounter. Mos Def, what were you doing? Ford Prefect is a bastard. And a funny bastard at that. Just, urgh, even more so.

#1 Meet the Parents is one of the most god-awful films that I've ever had the distinct lack of pleasure to sit through. Ben Stiller, you're not funny. You're less funny than the prospect of a Ricky Gervais movie. I like Ben Stiller in movies where he's the bad guy because I want to hate him. He was great in Dodgeball. Meet the Parents is painful. It's the Vince McMahon self-debasing humour that only the most sadistic pricks find funny. I just sat there feeling thoroughly uncomfortable. Robert DeNiro, never do comedies. Ever. Thank you.


JT

5) Free Willy
4) Harry Potter and the _________ (pick one)
3) Sin City
2) Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
1) Titanic

I will never understand how in the hell that Free Willy managed to capture not only the attention of millions of kids, but essentially the attention of an entire nation. What is really that heartwarming and fuzzy that it required the year long goo and gah fest that it rendered? No.

Next up we have the Harry Potter films. As I said, pick any one. Don't get me wrong, they weren't horrible, but they weren't the iconic powerhouse that they turned into. Bearable - and I'll go so far as to say enjoyable - flicks, but come on. Is it me, or were the special effects the real star of this movie. It's a school for magic. Yay. People standing in line at 9 p.m. for the midnight premiere (for the flick) and at 4 a.m. for the books is ridiculous. In fairness, I have not read the books, so maybe I'm making an uneducated call. Either way, I didn't even see the third one, and don't feel like I've missed out on anything.

#3 is a tough one for me; don't get me wrong folks, Sin City was a very fine movie. Mickey Rourke kicked ass, as did the rest of the cast, and the story, direction, and general style of this movie was awesome, BUT... while I found it quite enjoyable, it was not the instant classic that every comic cult fan made it out to be. At least not to me.

I'm COMPLETELY with Furious on Hitchikers GTTG. I, much like him, read the books and enjoyed the show, so when I heard this was coming out, I was so completely psyched. Then for one reason or another I didn't see it in the theater, which means I waited another five or six months until it came out on DVD. I left work a half hour early so I could get to the video store before the closed at 11 p.m., and three hours later, I was having the most dissapointing cigarette of my entire life. Just... no. It was even more painful watching my boy Mos Def - who happens to be a fine actor - be a part of this complete travesty.

For #1, I'm going to have to sit on Furious' side of the table on things. Titanic, while being completely boring to me, beat a bunch of better films to wrack up a ton of undeserving awards that year. As if that wasn't bad enough, that stupid flick tortured boyfriends nation-wide and stayed in theatres for like eight months or something. The only good thing that ever came out of that movie was the "I'm King of the World" parody, and even that is overrated. Wow, just making this list pissed me off.


Chad Webb

5) Raging Bull
4) Trainspotting
3) The Royal Tennenbaums
2) Donnie Darko
1) Napoleon Dynamite

Honorable Mention: Million Dollar Baby

5 –Martin Scorsese is one of my favorite filmmakers. I become hypnotized by each one of his films, and many are masterpieces, but Raging Bull is not. It is not just that I couldn't connect with Jake La Motta, I outright hated the guy. It is a brilliantly directed film with fantastic boxing scenes, and quality acting, but the guy was a dickhead, plain and simple. I suppose this was the point, but why would anyone want to watch this film more than once. Why would I want to watch a film about a cruel and abusive boxer, when I can pop in Rocky or Cinderella Man, 2 movies about boxers who were nice. What is it that appeals to people so much? Do people sit around and say "Boy! Let's watch Raging Bull again." I doubt it. I would bet that this is a film that does not get watched more than once if you own it. Before people email me and tell me that I'm on crack, just know that the film is good, but I just feel that it is far from one of the best films ever.

4 – My friend showed me a scene from this film once before I actually saw it the whole way through, and it was the toilet scene. I laughed, and was looking forward to watching the whole film. I have never been so disappointed in my life. At no point was this fun to watch, and except for the toilet part, nothing was funny at all. The two most likeable characters are killed off, and it is just plain depressing. They show a baby dying from being neglected, and the one kid who didn't do any drugs, eventually becomes addicted and dies from his drugs. Do we really need to see the most likeable people in the film die just so we can see the effects of drugs? Kill off one of the other idiots. Also, was Robert Carlyle's character supposed to be funny? He treated everyone like shit, and he was basically a straight up dickhead. I have seen plenty more movies that show the effects of drugs that are way better than this piece of garbage.

3- I am not a big fan of Wes Anderson, and don't give me the excuse that I don't understand his humor. It is the fact that his films are not that funny. This film was just boring to be honest with you. The acting was terrible, and that's shocking because of how many stars were involved. Although, I expected nothing less from Luke Wilson. The plot never really gained my attention. This is a movie that tries so hard to be creative and ambitious, but instead it falls as flat as humanly possible. The voice over is so monotone and dull that I could go crazy. I'm amazed that Criterion continues to release these films.

2 – Yes this movie has achieved cult status, but for the sheer fact that the ending leaves you scratching your head. People can make these gigantic guesses as to what the movie is about, and they think because of that, the film is fantastic. It is not, not by a long shot. It is strange, bizarre, foolish, and most of it makes no sense at all. This film tries too hard to be unique, and I hate those type of movies. Jake Gyllenhaal is a good actor. He has proven that. This performance however, is just plain blah. I never cared about Donnie at all. This film leaves just enough plot holes so that people can have discussions afterward and think they're smart for "figuring the point out." Some say the point of Donnie Darko is to be confusing. That is pretty goddamn ridiculous if you ask me. If you want a watch a good movie that will leave you discussing the ending, watch The Seventh Seal. I have argued with many people about this film, and I'm sure I will many times in the future.

1 – Using a gift card, I blind bought this when it first came out, and boy did I waste my money. I immediately sold the DVD to my sister. This movie is not funny at all. It is silly and moronic. So many people have told me that you need to watch this twice to really like it and laugh. Doesn't that sentence sound strange to anyone? If I don't laugh at anything after the first viewing, then there is a good reason, and that reason is that Napoleon Dynamite sucks. I don't have to elaborate on why this is a dumb film. Everyone already knows.


Ben Moser

5) Man on the Moon
4) There's Something About Mary
3) Billy Madison
2) Forrest Gump
1) A Clockwork Orange

5. Remember when this came out? Remember hearing about Jim Carrey giving the performance of his life, to the point where people thought he became Andy Kaufman on the set? Carrey even got a Golden Globe out of the deal. The thing is that when it's all said and done, Man on the Moon is not a movie about Andy Kaufman. There is no insight into the life of one of the most interesting characters the world has seen. What's left is simply two hours of Carrey doing Andy Kaufman's Greatest Hits. It's not a movie. It's a two-hour impression.

4. I heard about how funny this movie was for months before I actually saw it. Maybe that's why I dislike it so much. By the time I actually watched it, nothing could have been as hilarious as the hype had this one being. But dick and retard jokes? Ben Stiller being Ben Stiller and doing the usual Ben Stiller things amid 10 lame sight gags a minute? That's what was supposed to be so funny? Everything in this movie has been done better somewhere else.

3. You could let this movie represent every movie "starring Adam Sandler," but I especially hate Billy Madison. There is nothing funny in this flick. Not even Norm MacDonald. I can't explain the popularity this one enjoys. Just awful.

2. He's slow. He's living history. He's boring. He's Forrest Gump. Aside from the bored-out-of-my-mind factor, we'll go ahead and point out that everything from football star to the love story with the hippie girl comes off as utterly unbelievable. Take the catchphrases out of this movie and no one cares.

1. There are plenty of iconic movies out there. A Clockwork Orange is one of the most referenced of them all. Too bad it's an awful movie. How could a movie so violent be so boring? How could a movie so ham-fisted in its delivery still not really know what it's message is? This is the flick I've picked to represent those movies angsty kids decide they like because they think 1) they're supposed to and 2) it'll freak out the "normal" kids. They write songs inspired by it, crank up the Beethoven, and do their eye makup just right. But they never acually talk about what the movie is. That's because it's a bad movie. Unfortunately, those kids grow up to become the adults who put this movie on their top 10 lists to prove they still "get it." There's nothing to get. Move along.


Rob Bonnette

5) E.T.
4) Scarface
3) The Crow
2) Jurassic Park
1) Lost in Translation

5) E.T. Phone home.....and then get there as fast as you can so I don't have to see you anymore. This movie stank and is another example of how Hollywood can hand out the Kool Aid and get everyone to drink it if they package it right.

4) This movie is bad; real bad. Bad acting, bad everything. Unless I'm wrong this is the movie that gave birth to Over-the-top Al, who can be entertaining but should never be confused with a good acting performance. What makes this even more annoying is that you can't go around any blakc neighborhood without seeing at least one person wearing a T-Shirt with Tony Montana's face plastered on it.

3) It was good, don't get me wrong, but would have it become the iconic film that some consider it to be if it's star had not died during filming? I think not. This is a classic example of Biggie/Tupac/Kurt Cobain syndrome, where something good gets more love than deserved because of an untimely death.

2) Great visual effects and all, but haven't we seen the scientists try to play God and it backfires storyline a million times already?

1) This movie made absolutely ZERO sense whatsoever. I was expecting some kind of deep meaning, and all we got was Bill Murray hanging out with Scarlett Johansson. This was absolute garbage, and to think that it got nominated for all those awards...give me a break. The only thing that was lost in translation was how on Earth anyone could actually like this pile of crap.


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Now, that's more like it. After two weeks of Top 5's where it was a just a little too easy for everyone to get along (yes, we all know Batman & Robin sucked, *yawn*), this week we might finally get a little controversy. After all, I know I whole-heartedly disagree with some of my fellow writer's choices, as I'm sure they disagree with some of mine. Something tells me it's not gonna be much different with you readers out there, either.

Next week, we'll take a look at what happens when Hollywood trades in creativity for the easy task of simply revisiting past works, and the messy fallout that can follow, with The Top 5 Worst Remakes.