The Tasty Evil TV News 06.22.06
Posted by Avery Chan on 06.22.2006
Hurry everybody!! Screech needs our help!!
Buy a T-Shirt, Save Dustin Diamond's Home
First Zack Morris' show gets cancelled, then Lisa Turtle accused of being a drug addict, then A.C. Slater hosts a dancing pet special (its not even a full time gig), and now Screech is on Howard Stern hawking $15 T-shirts to raise money to save his house. It's just not a good year for those kids from Bayside. Dustin Diamond needs to raise $250 000 or his Milwaukee home will undergo a foreclosure. I'll let the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel explain:
"Diamond, 29, faces losing the home under a foreclosure order filed in Ozaukee County Circuit Court on May 4. It demands that he kick up the remaining $250,000 he owes under a land contract, which Diamond said was one of the few options available for him in 2003 because of a bad credit record, which includes a 2001 bankruptcy filing in California.
A land contract is a contract between a landowner and a buyer, in which the buyer agrees to make an initial payment and regular subsequent payments until the purchase price is paid. No loan or mortgage is involved.
He claims he kept up on the $2,400 monthly payments.
The landowner's attorney couldn't be reached for comment".
The front of the T-Shirts feature a dirty looking Diamond holding a "Save My House Sign" while the back has "I Paid $15 to Save Screeech's House" (the extra "e" is used so to not infringe on copyrights). Diamond figures if he sells 30 000 T-Shirts, it's possible he can save his home. After his Stern appearance, his website getdshirts.com logged nearly 100 000 hits. Check it out if you want to support the poor guy or be a prick and laugh at his misery, just keep in mind the humiliation he's suffered so that no matter how much of a dork you use to be, you could always say, "at least I'm not Screech". He's also offering a chance to buy a brick for $1000 but I'll reserve that money for when Elizabeth Berkeley sells lap dances to save her career.
Jack McCoy Finds a New Sidekick
The Hollywood Reporter announced last week that CSI:Miami's Alana De La Garza will join Law and Order in its 17th season as the new ADA. She will replace Annie Parisse's Alexandra Borgia, who was killed in last season's finale. A few weeks ago, The Hollywood Reporter also said that Conviction's Milena Govich would be joining the cast as well, possibly to replace Dennis Farina as the new detective.
Bizarro-Earl DVD Exclusive
Most TV DVD's these days contain unaired pilots but the My Name is Earl disc arriving September 26 will include a format first: an alternate pilot shot exclusively for the DVD. In this Bizarro pilot, Earl chooses, not to repent for his past misdeeds with his lotto winnings but to get revenge on those who've wronged him. Co-star Ethan Suplee says the DVD exclusive gave them more freedom to "play around a bit...I definitely don't think you could air it on television". (Credit: Panandscan.com) Unfortunately, "play around a bit" does not mean excessive swearing, violence or Jaime Pressley going back to her Poison Ivy 3 days and getting naked.
A Fairy moves into Sesame Street
No, I'm not referring to a new gay Muppet for Bert to play with but Abby Cadabby, the first new female Muppet in 13 years. Abby, a pink "fairy-in-training" will be introduced in Seasame Street's 37th season. Abby is part of the show's aim this season to "address critical stages of development that help children get ready for school". She'll speak in rhymes and get herself into trouble with her limited knowledge of magic. Sounds like a mix of Wheelie from Transformers and Orko from Masters of the Universe.
Invasion Star Joins Prison Break
William Fichtner, Sheriff Underlay from ABC's cancelled Invasion, switches networks to FOX next season. Fichtner will join the cast of Prison Break as a federal agent assigned to catch Michael, Lincoln and the rest of the Fox River escapees.
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Tasty/Evil Caplets
DeadwoodI'm Not the Man You Take Me For
3-Sentence Recap:
The election speeches are back on, Jane visits the classroom as a guest speaker, Joanie continues to struggle with her demons, and Andy Cramed asks Cy for forgiveness. The doc is forced to perform an abortion on Alma or else she will die. Swearegen and Hearst (Gerald McRaney) have a private meeting during the speeches, which ends in Hearst breaking Swearegen's hand with a hammer.
Tasty:
Seeing what happened to Swearegen, Bullock threatens to go up and handle Hearst right away but Swearegen tells him no, "I'll have mine served cold".
Evil:
Who would've though Major Dad could be such a major prick.
EntourageOne Day in the Valley
3-Sentence Recap:
Ari freaks out as a rolling blackout over the west coast threatens the opening weekend box office numbers for "Aquaman". Vince and the boys get stranded in the Valley and end up at a high school party. The numbers come in and "Aquaman" looks poised to surpass "Spiderman" for the biggest opening ever, making Vince "the biggest movie star on the planet".
Tasty:
This episode contained all the little things that have made the show great. Drama gets his ass kicked (by a high school kid), Ari fends off his (hot) wife's demands for sex to hang out with Vince, and Turtle strikes out with another hot girl ("That was a really creepy turn").
Evil:
We were THIS close to seeing Aquaman in action before the blackout stopped the movie. What a cruel, cruel, tease.
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I'm too lazy this week to do an entire "Picks" section so for one time only, I'm giving you....
The Drunken Canadian Blonde of the Week
This special honor goes to Kim Bauer herself, ELISHA CUTHBERT!!!! Possibly due to the presence of Paris Hilton, Elisha Cuthbert looked pretty sloshed during her appearance on the Much Music Video Awards on Sunday. Ms. Cuthbert was having trouble navigating the red carpet (damn that red carpet for being so straight and level) and slurred her words like a spring break co-ed as she introduced Metric to the crowd. If only that dress was skimpier, I guarantee you, something would've popped out.
