Bashing the View, Reader Feedback, Slick Rick, and Cussing!
Do you have World Cup fever?
Nope, neither do I. I try every once in a while, but my response is always the same of the good people of Springfield, when they attend their first soccer game.
Songs that Should Never be Covered, Ever
"Ladi Dodi" and "Children's Story" have already been covered by famous artists (people like Mos Def and Snoop Dogg, both great Mcs) who couldn't do justice to the originals. And so, because the best have tried and come up short, there should be a memorium on any attempts to remake either of these tunes – Slick Rick and Doug E. Fresh just blow up the house, and neither of these songs ever get old or overplayed. Rick's vocals were the best they would ever be, and Doug E. has the red-hot human beat box thing going on. So please, please, PLEASE I prevail to the higher lords of justice to ensure that no one else ever tries to record these tunes again.
The Idiot Box Mailbag
Come, take a look into my mailbag. Wait… there's a fucking mailbag? Since when? Well, since I started getting some damn mail, that's when.
Thomas writes…
Good article, and some good points regarding liberals/conservatives. I too have conservative leanings but am not particularly religious, and it annoys me to have to be affiliated with the 700 Club crowd.
As for the liberals, Kerry failed in his election bid in part due to the same reasons Bob Dole did back in '96; you cannot win an election with the "vote for me because I'm not the other guy". Dole and Kerry lacked a vision, and let's be honest, charisma. What a dull couple o' bastards. :)
Spider Man; you are right, The Flash's identity was rendered secret by The Spectre. However, this is the same thing many are afraid will happen with Spider Man; Doctor Strange is against the act and it would be a simple matter for him to snap his fingers and fix everything. I wish I could remember the location of a blog I read once that pointed
out that just about every single major change to either DC or Marvel in the past fifteen years or so has been reversed. So I guess we will see.
Finally, X-Men. The definitive run of X-Men was the Claremont/Byrne collaboration, but after Byrne left the quality slowly declined; Claremont sucks, plain and simple. When working with Byrne it was like they canceled out one another's negative creative aspects, but apart...ech...I gave up on him just prior to Inferno, around '88. I guess I kept buy X-Men out of habit, until I grew fed up. I have not purchased the comic regularly since until Morrison's run.
I like Grant Morrison; Doom Patrol, Animal Man, JLA. He is an awesome talent. And his initial first issues of X-Men were truly awesome. But after a while I grew, well, bored:
So I personally think Morrison had a strong start, but he lost me as his run wore on. As for Joss, I like his writing but I have issues with him as well. Colossus lives...again!
Thanks for the insight, Thomas. You raise some good points, especially about Grant Morrison on the X-Men. That's part of the reason I printed this – to present the other side of the coin on that subject.
And a dull couple o' bastards is right. And the crazy thing is, neither George W Bush nor Al Gore had any charisma when they ran for the Prez, either. Bush has developed a great self-deprecating style over the years, and has played into his image with humor. Not a great choice for a Prez – to be self-deprecating, but at least his has some charisma now. Same thing with Gore – since losing, he has developed a great sense of humor about himself. Not just the Saturday Night Live thing, but his two appearances on "Futurama"
Whenever I see Gore now, I think of him shouting "I have ridden the Moon Worm!"
The Idiot Box Proper
Bear with me through this story… something you wouldn't expect to find in the idiot Box.
In what is fast becoming the most talked about firing of a broadcast personality since radio talk-show host Arthur Godfrey fired popular singer Julius LaRosa in 1953, Barbara Walters has barred Star Jones from ever appearing on The View again. "Star, regrettably, will no longer be on this show, except for some shows that have been prerecorded," Walters said on the air Wednesday, the day after Jones disclosed on the air that she would be departing, surprising fellow panelists and Walters, who apparently had planned a more graceful departure for Jones. "She made further announcements that have surprised us. So it is becoming uncomfortable for us to pretend that everything is the same at this table," Walters said Wednesday. Earlier, she had told reporters that she felt "betrayed" by Jones's announcement. In an interview with today's (Thursday) New York Daily News, Jones responded that "for Barbara to say she felt betrayed is the height of hypocrisy." She said that she had learned on April 21 that she was being dropped from the program. "Barbara did not call me herself ... They told me my contract would not be renewed because my approval rating had gone down. ... I was like, 'Whoa!'" Jones said that she felt further humiliated when Walters announced that she had hired Rosie O'Donnell as co-host. "Rosie had attacked me on every single evening entertainment program. ... Barbara used that week to call her and invite her to be part of a show that I helped launch nine years ago.".
Ok, I had to run that to set the table for my bashing of everything involved with it.
1. Fuck Star Jones, okay? Her contract was not renewed because focus groups and audience feedback indicated that they didn't like her. Of course they didn't like her, she is an irritating bitch. Why the hell was she ever on that show? Don't tell me it was just to attract a black demographic, because there are many, many black women out there with ten times the poise, intelligence, and charisma of Star Jones. I have never been able to discern why she got that job, or how she held it for so long.
2. Fuck Rosie O'Donnell, okay? Do they think that focus groups and audience feedback are going to go crazy over Rosie? She already had a show that got canceled because nobody watched it, and this was before her last few years of being a loudmouth and drawing negative attention to herself. Rosie is not funny, in the slightest, nor is she the type of personality who will draw in new viewers – some viewers will tune out because of her, but few will tune in for that reason.
3. There is a feud between this two irritants to society? Would someone please call Paul Heyman? Maybe he can use this and set up a steel cage, all-weapons-legal, New Jack On a Pole, Stretcher Match to settle this once and for all. It is probably the only way I would ever watch either of this women voluntarily.
4. Fuck me for talking about it, right? It's the goddamn View, so who cares anyway?
Heel of the Week
Lex Luthor – He is currently tearing shit up in the DC Universe, assembling his own JLA and beating all the charges (OJ style, boyeeeee!). He is also tearing shit up on the big screen, played by Kevin Spacey. Yes, his master plan is kinda dumb, but the upshot is Supes lifting a continent. Word to that.
OK, ladies and gents, I hate to call it an early day, especially after taking a sabbatical last week, but things be hectic in Casa de Hensley. Finals, papers, articles and columns for the paper, plus a sick baby AND a sick wife. If anyone has figured out how to shoot someone with mind bullets through the computer, I request you do so now.
Merle Vaughn is an ex-soldier, an ex-bodyguard for a Vietnamese druglord, an ex-con, and an ex employee for a local dope trucking operation. After his new wife is murdered, this lifelong killer and thug is now the single father of a four month old baby girl. Merle wants to protect his daughter, and he'll kill the entire city to do it.
I'm using the blog to post updates and chapters on a crime novel. It's tough, violent, brutal in spots, even – but there is more going on than crime. Check it out
And after that, head over to the Gainesville Sun
where you'll find collection of all the Podcasts I've recorded with my buddies. Features yours truly expounding upon B movies, music, and dumb shit with a couple of actual journalists. It's called Scene and Heard. It is worth a listen, if only for my Barry White-ishly sexy voice. Word to that
