Ask 411 Movies for 7.3.06: Red, White and Boom!
Posted by Leonard Hayhurst on 07.03.2006
The Car, misquoted lines, Linda Blair is stalked by a mutant and Jerry Lewis IS Darth Vader
If you scroll down to the DVD's and other reviews you will find my review of the graphic novel Sight Unseen from Robert Tinnell and Bo Hampton. I received a copy from Mr. Tinnell at the Monter Bash. It's a good, suspensful read with a great central concept.
NETFLIX MOVIE OF THE WEEK: FREE ENTERPRISE
From 1999 this would be the start of William Shatner's comeback as it's the point where he decided to play into his camp image and embrace himself as a cult hero. Playing like a geek version of Swingers, Mark (Eric McCormack) and Rob (Audie England) are Trekkers on the outskirts of the film industry who meet their idol. Thing is, Shatner is a loon who wants to mount a musical version of Julius Cesar, unabridged with himself playing all the parts. Running along with this is Rob finding the geek girl of his dreams in Claire, but she wants him to grow up just like all his other ladies. The central theme being you can like sci-fi and collect action figures, but you still have to be mature and pay the bills. At two hours the movie was overly long for what it was, but intermittently funny and relateable. I'm sorry to say I got all the gags. The people in the movie talk in more references than I do.
THE GREATEST MOVIES NEVER MADE: THAT'S LIFE
After nearly a decade away from filmmaking Jerry Lewis found a financier in Joseph Ford Proctor and signed a distribution deal with Universal. The first film of his comeback was Hardly Working. Lewis played an unemployed clown who bounced around from job to job. After wrapping the film he announced the proposed sequel Hardly Working Attacks Star Wars. Lewis' character from Hardly Working would get a job as an extra on the set for the new Star Wars movie, cause havoc, injure an actor and have to take his place. Most likely he would have been Darth Vader. While Jerry Lewis as Darth Vader is without a doubt the greatest movie never made, the movie this chapter is devoted to is the one that would have come before that. Animal House featured the type of broad, manic humor Lewis was known for and he wanted to do a similarly themed movie, but set in a nursing home. The cast would have included Red Buttons, Ruth Gordon, Molly Picon, George Burns and others in that age group. However, Proctor disappeared like a feather in the wind and Lewis was barely able to scrape enough money together to finish postproduction on Hardly Working. Not only did it flop, but it's considered one of the worst films of the past thirty years. So Lewis wasn't able to find backing for That's Life. Only due to the success of his appearance in King of Comedy for Martin Scorsese was he able to get back on the horse with Cracking Up. The chapter also briefly mentions The Day the Clown Cried. Lewis played a clown who led Jewish children to the Nazi gas chambers during World War II. Lewis has a rough cut, but it was never released. I remember reading an article on the film where Harry Shearer talked about seeing it in a private screening. If I remember correctly, he said it was so awful that it does a 360 back on itself to be utterly fascinating.
Q: Howdy Leonard, checking in again.
You've mentioned in previous columns that movie characters are often misquoted as saying "Luke, I am your father" or "Play it again Sam." I was hoping you could do a crash course in the most frequently misquoted lines and how the misconceptions came about. Thanks.
Happy Trails,
- Andrew
BuenoMaster@hotmail.com
www.BuenoMaster.com
A: Most of the time a misquote is to simplify a line so it makes sense or is catchier to say. The actual quote of "No, I am your father" doesn't make much sense out of the context of the scene. So you inject the character name of Luke to give it reference. With "Play it again, Sam" the real quote first said by Ilsa is "Play it Sam. Play As Time Goes By." Then later Rick says "You played it for her, you can play it for me." This misquote most likely originated from the Marx Brothers film A Night in Casablanca and serves as the title of the Woody Allen movie Play it Again, Sam, which played off of Humphrey Bogart. We also talked about "We don't need no stinking badges" recently. That misquote is simply a parody of the original line that became popular through Blazing Saddles, but was first probably used in an episode of the Monkees as we went over. "Me Tarzan, you Jane" was never used in any Tarzan books or movies. It comes from a joking line in an interview by Johnny Weismuller where he stated that was as difficult as his dialogue ever got.
Bad impressions of famous people have also propelled misquotes. Cary Grant never said "Judy, Judy, Judy" in any film. Peter Bogdanovich theorizes this came from Grant's sharp pronunciation of the name Judith from Only Angels have Wings. James Cagney never said "Oooh, you dirty rat." The real line from Blonde Crazy is "Mmmm, that dirty double crossin' rat." Jack Webb as Sgt. Joe Friday on "Dragnet" never said "Just the facts, ma'am." He usually said "all we want are the facts, ma'am." The misquote comes from a popular "Dragnet" parody by Stan Freberg, but was later said in the Dragnet movie by Dan Aykroyd. "Do you feel lucky, punk" is another simplifying. The line from Dirty Harry is "you've got to ask yourself one question. ‘Do I feel lucky?' Well, do you punk?" Deforest Kelly as Dr. Leonard McCoy on "Star Trek" never said "Damn it, Jim" before any sentence because you wouldn't normally casually swear like that on mid-sixties network television. This came from impressionists parodying McCoy's gruff intensity. "Beam me up, Scotty" was never said on the original series, but was said in the animated series of the mid seventies and "Scotty, beam me up" was used in Star Trek IV. I'll give Wikipedia a tip of the top hat for helping with this one.
Q: Hey Leonard! I enjoy reading your column and am very impressed with the way you can track down movies with some of the clue you get. Ok, now I am looking for a title of a movie. This is a movie I saw in the late 80's but it looked like it was done earlier (say between '81 - '85). It was a horror flick that wasn't that scary. It was about these 2 couples who go out to this farm/lake and there was this inbred looking hillbilly going around killing people with pitchforks and machetes. I think his name was Junior. I want to say the title had Bog in it, but I'm not 100% and I can't seem to find any info on it. No, it's not Return to Boggy Creek. It was a cross between Friday the 13th, Deliverence, Class of Nuke ‘Em High and Porky's. It was rated R and the 2 girls in it were topless every other scene. One blonde, one brunette. It was pretty bad but me and my buddy were talking the other day and the movie came up in conversation. We remember seeing it, but couldn't remember the name. Any ideas?
Thanks!
Glen
A: I'm thinking Junior and bog are red herrings. It's light on nudity, but I'm going to toss Hell Night at you. Two frat pledges (Vincent Van Patten and Peter Barton) and two sorority pledges (Linda Blair and Suki Goodwin) are forced to spend the weekend in a deserted mansion. Twelve years before the father of the family that lived there went nuts and killed everybody. However, his mutated son is still alive. Members of the sorority and fraternity try to scare the pledges, but slowly the son picks people off thanks to knowing about the tunnels and passageways under the house.
I'll also toss you the The Final Terror from 1983. A group of forest rangers and their girlfriends camp in the woods over the weekend and are picked off one by one by a deranged killer. Toward the end to escape they find a boat and go down river in a Deliverance type way. It's notable for featuring Darryl Hannah, Rachel Ward, Adrian Zemed and Joe Pantoliano. I have no problem with a young Hannah and Ward walking around naked. These are very vague guess and perhaps someone out there might have a better clue.
Q: Ah, The Children. Nightmares for months after I saw that movie. Good Times.
That reminded me of another old movie from my childhood, My memory is hazy on the title, but me and my cousin just referred to it as the devil car movie. It Looked like an old school 70's Lincoln Continental if I remember. Possessed by the Devil or a demon or something. Tinted windows, and equipped with a car horn and a loud ass engine that I distinctly remember as giving me the freaking chills.
Anyway, one scene I vaguely remember is this lady goes out and looks in her garage, and its empty. She leaves and comes back two seconds later, and the devil car is in her garage. Its starts revving the engine really loud, and starts honking that godforsaken horn. It terrorized some small dusty industrial town I want to say, knocking cars off of cliffs, running folks over, that sort of thing. That car was bad ass though. It would kick the shit out of Christine. Anyone asked about this movie before?
Anyway, thanks for the good read every week!
-Rodney
A: I own this movie and I own the car, or namely The Car. I found a die cast replica a few years ago at an Odd Lots. I still have it in the original box. Put that on Ebay and guess who can afford an enormous omelet sandwich at Burger King? This guy right here.
The Car came out in 1977 and stars the current Mr. Streisand, James Brolin as a small town sheriff who battles the title vehicle as it terrorizes the community. There is no driver and it's theorized that the car is possessed by some sort of demon, maybe even the devil itself. There is a scene at a graveyard where the Car can't enter due to it being hallowed ground. The film has been compared to Jaws on wheels, but it's actually pretty decent. There were five cars built for the film. One main car out of steel and four more in fiberglass, three of those were blown up. The Car was a custom Lincoln Mark III with the top lowered and the beltline raised. It had a supped up V8 engine and a semi horn. It was designed by George Barris who also did the Batmobile and the Munster's Coach.
To fill space let's look at films dealing with the American Revolution as we are on the cusp of Independence Day.
Sons of Liberty (1939): Only twenty minutes long, it won the Oscar for best short subject. It details the life of Haym Saloman (Claude Rains) who was a secret financier of the Revolution backing the colonies.
Johnny Tremain (1957): Based on the book that is required junior high reading all over the country. Tremain (Hal Stalmaster) is a young silversmith who injures his hand and loses his job. Poor and on the streets, he is taken in by the Sons of Liberty and plays an important part in the early days of the Revolutionary War.
1776 (1972): The film version of the Broadway musical detailing the Continental Congress meetings leading up to the signing of the Declaration of Independence. John Adams (William Daniels) and Ben Franklin (Howard de Silva) convince Thomas Jefferson (Ken Howard) to write the document simply as a delaying tactic while they haggle with the other representatives to ratify the formal formation of the United States. Much of the dialogue and song lyrics were taken from letters written by the founding fathers during the period.
Revolution (1985): New York trapper Tom Dobb (Al Pacino) tries to keep out of the Revolution, but is forced into it when his son (Dexter Fletcher) is drafted to fight for England by a domineering Sergeant Major (Donald Sutherland). Dobb tries to find his son from battlefield to battlefield with the help of female rebel Daisy (Nastassja Kinski). Miscasting and dull dialogue hinders what is a visually stunning and sweeping film.
The Patriot (2000): Often called the American Braveheart thanks to Mel Gibson in the lead role of Benjamin Martin. Martin is a farmer who wants peace and to forget his doings in the French-Indian War. His sons Gabriel (Heath Ledger) and Thomas (Gregory Smith) sign up to fight. Gabriel is captured by Colonel Tavington (Jason Isaacs) and sentenced to hang. Thomas tries to save him and is killed, provoking Benjamin to lead a band of ragtag misfits in guerilla warfare. Originally the film was to be based on real life war hero Francis Marion, however tales of Marion raping slaves and slaughtering Indians came up to tarnish his image. The exploits of Marion were chronicled in a 1950's limited series by Disney called "The Swamp Fox" starring Leslie Nielsen.
Don't die.
"My mother thanks you, my father thanks you, my sister thanks you, and I thank you."
