The Top 10 Essential B-Movies #6: Howard the Duck, The Blob, More
Posted by Chad Webb on 07.11.2006
The picks get more interesting with #6. For instance, Howard the Duck.
The B-Movie Tidbit
George A. Romero never expected, or wanted to be a famous director, but he did. His zombie films have paved the way for many films to follow. After graduating from the University of Pittsburgh, he and some friends go together, and combined their funds to create one of the most influential horror films ever called Night of the Living Dead. Romero's next films were not as popular as his debut. In 1978, he went back to the zombie world, and made Dawn of the Dead. His career if full of ups and downs, but his Dead flicks have always brought him attention. His last film was Land of the Dead, and his next project will be From A Buick 8.
Here is some cool little trivia about him: Was originally slated to write and direct Resident Evil (2002) and Pet Sematary. He began making movies at the age of 14 with an 8mm camera. He often features radio or television news broadcasts playing in the background.
Some of his more memorable quotes:
"If I fail, they [the film industry] write me off as another statistic. If I succeed, they pay me a million bucks to fly out to Hollywood and fart."
"If one horror film hits, everyone says, 'Let's go make a horror film.' It's the genre that never dies."
"I'll never get sick of zombies. I just get sick of producers. "
6. Howard the Duck
Starring: Lea Thompson, Jeffrey Jones, and Tim Robbins
Directed By: Willard Huyck
1986
Ryan Latimer
Ask the right person, "Howard the Duck" is a B movie. Ask another right person, "Howard the Duck" is a Misunderstood Masterpiece. Not sure which one is more of a compliment and/or cinematic slap in the jaw, but this George Lucas-produced mega bomb certainly left a skid mark on the underwear of cinema in the late 80s when it was first released. It was a childhood favorite of mine, as I was completely unaware of its controversy and overall badness until only recently with a fresh viewing last year. Trust me, it's a B movie with a capital B.. But that doesn't mean it isn't enjoyable for what it is -- a wonderfully crappy sci-fi wannabe stinkbomb. And I dig it.
6. The Warriors
Starring: Michael Beck, James Remar, and Dorsey Wright
Directed By: Walter Hill
1979
Leonard Hayhurst
The Warriors are a New York street gang who are accused of killing the ‘messiah' of New York. The film traces their late night trek back to their home turf of Coney Island while be hunted down by various other gangs. It's highly stylized and off kilter, yet filled with a certain degree of gritty realism. The novice actors and low budget play into that. The film has become a cult classic today and in look and feel inspired a lot of the post apocalyptic films that came after.
6. Army of Darkness
Starring: Bruce Campbell, Embeth Davidtz, and Marcus Gilbert
Directed By: Sam Raimi
1992
Matthew Craggs
I know, Evil Dead 2 is one of the most kick ass movies of all time. It's funny, it's violent, yadda yadda. Unfortunately, I have never seen the picture, but I have seen the follow up, Army of Darkness. It was a screening of the college-kids-sitting-around caliber, and I think it worked better having the group of youngsters yell, scream, and trade painfully obvious observations through the showing. If you can hear what the characters or saying Army of
Darkness won't work for you, but when watched with a live audio commentary it becomes an event, and that is the value of this picture: it is fun.
6. The Return of Swamp Thing
Starring: Louis Jordan, Heather Locklear, and Dick Durock
Directed By: Jim Wynorski
1989
Bryan Kristopowitz
The sequel to Wes Craven's 1982 flick "Swamp Thing," based on the D.C. Comics character of the same name, dumps the straight up horror adventure tone of the first flick and goes for a general monster movie goofiness. It is a Jim Wynorski flick, so the tone isn't all that surprising when you realize who is responsible for it. It stars Heather Locklear as Abby Arcane, the stepdaughter of Dr. Anton Arcane (Louis Jourdan, returning from the supreme beating he received at the end of part one), going out to her stepfather's fantastic compound to find out about her mother. Dr. Arcane, with the help of the luscious Sarah Douglas (as Dr; Lana Zurrell) and the doofy Ace Mask (Dr. Rochelle) are searching the nearby swamp for Swamp Thing (Dick Durrock, returning to his most famous role) so they can use him for an "immortality" experiment. Locklear and Swampy eventually meet, and then it's a chase flick, with Arcane's goons Mr. Gunn (the hysterical douchebag Joe Sagal) and the deadly babe Miss Poinsettia (Monique "yummy" Gabrielle) out in the swamp looking for the big plant and his babe. Includes some pretty decent rubber head monsters, some catchy synthesizer theme music, a great comic book panel montage opening credits sequence featuring "Born on the Bayou" (Credence Clearwater Revival), an eerie pipe organ song, a bunch of explosions, green slime in the bathtub, some stock footage of the Philippines from another flick (Wynorski admits as such on the DVD commentary), and a funny subplot featuring a hip black kid (Ronreaco Lee as Omar) and a slightly less hip pudgy hayseed white kid (Daniel Emery Taylor as Darryl) trying to get a picture of Swamp Thing for a tabloid award. How Omar and Darryl didn't get their own television show this reviewer will never know.
6. The Blob
Starring: Steve McQueen, Aneta Corsaut, and Earl Rowe
Directed By: Irvin S. Yeaworth Jr.
1958
Ben Moser
It's the blob. It's slowly oozing a path of destruction. Steve McQueen will try to stop it. If you haven't seen the old 1958 classic, there probably isn't anything I can add here to make you watch it. Does it hold up against some more modern horror movies dealing with strange things from other planets going on kill sprees? No, but I appreciate it for what it is. It's a fun little scare-piece that features old-fashioned special effects and camera tricks and the original scream queen. Aside from the perfectly terrible 1988 remake, there's also a remake due to hit theaters in 2007. While I'm sure this version of The Blob will look much prettier, I can promise you that it will have absolutely none of the charm that makes the original worth watching and re watching.
6. Barb Wire
Starring: Pamela Anderson, Temuera Morrison, and Udo Kier
Directed By: David Hogan
1996
Chad Webb
It should be no surprise to anyone why I love this futuristic sci-fi B-flick. Pamela Anderson was never a very good actress, but in this film viewers are teased with shots of cleavage, and we get watch her walk around in tight leather through the whole film. If you have the unrated DVD, there is plenty of nudity. I could have put a movie with one of the B-movie queens like Julie Strain or Shannon Whirry on here, but this film has action, T&A, and hilariously dumb one-liners. The names are priceless. Barb Wire is one of course, but there is also Axel Hood, Big Fatso, and many more. The action scenes, in my opinion, is adequately executed and fun to watch if nothing else. I'll bet director David Hogan knew he was making a bad movie, but accepting that, he made it anything but boring, lackluster, and cliché. If any film fits into the so bad it's good group, this is it. What you may have forgotten was that this was based on a comic book, and while it does not rank up there with Sin City, I would throw this in the player, and let it play in the background at the drop of a hat.
Honorable Mention
Army of One
Starring: Dolph Lundgren, George Segal, and Kristian Alfonso
Directed By: Vic Armstrong
1993
Oh my God, I can't believe Howard the Duck is on this countdown. I will have nightmares about that film now. The top 5 are one the way.
