The Top 10 Essential B-Movies #1: The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, Night of the Living Dead, More
Posted by Chad Webb on 07.18.2006
And finally, the number 1 picks.
No Tidbit today. Since it is the Number 1 pick, I'm sure no one really cares about history. Read on!
1. Pink Flamingo's
Starring: Divine, David Lochary, and Mary Vivian Pearce
Written/Directed By: John Waters
1972
Matthew Craggs Pink Flamingo's is without a doubt my favorite B movie and I am not sure why. The film is relevant historically because of its involvement in the midnight movie boom of the late 1960s and 70s, but it appeals to me because it is an excuse to take in disgusting taboo after disgusting taboo. Cross dressing, oral sex, bestiality, and even honest to goodness ingestion of excrement. Don't tell me you read that list of misdeeds and aren't a little curious. We all are, and that's the point.
On second thought, maybe it's the process. Waters put his ass on the line to make this picture. He even worked during the week to raise funds and shot on the weekend. He took the resources that he had, tried something new, and wound up with a crazy success of a film on his hands.
Either way, Pink Flamingo's is an experience worth having.
1. Trancers
Starring: Tim Thomerson, Helen Hunt, and Michael Stefani
Directed By: Charles Band
1985
Bryan Kristopowitz
Both Tim Thomseron and Charles Band have done a lot of movies. "Trancers," the 1985 "Blade Runner"/"Terminator" esque science fiction action flick is probably the one each is best known for, and for good reason. It's damn near perfect. It has everything. A super cool hero (Thomerson's Jack Deth. Who wouldn't want a name like that?), a hot babe (Helen Hunt as Leena, way back before Oscar winning Helen went artist on us. Yeah. I read an interview she did for "Biography Magazine" where she said her "Trancers" participation was basically a job and nothing more, something to do to get a check, which may be true, but if she hated the role so much why did she appear in "Trancers II" and "Trancers III" six years later?), a very cool time travel method (passing your consciousness "down the genetic line" to a relative in the when you want to go to), very cool music (yes, in order to have a successful B-movie you must have cool music) and the mere presence of Biff Manard. Yes. Biff. Manard. The script's sly wit doesn't hurt, either.
The plot is simple. The evil Whistler (Michael Stefani), leader of the Trancer cult, has decided to travel back in time to 1985 Los Angeles to kill the distant relatives of the Council, the future government that has tried to destroy the Trancer cult. If the distant relatives die, the future Council members cease to exist. The Council decides to send renegade cop Jack Deth back to 1985 LA to stop Whistler's plans. Helen Hunt is there to help Jack move through the past. And McNulty, played by the great Art LaFleur, manages to come back to the past, too, as a little girl (Alyson Croft, who comes back to play the same role in "Trancers II") to brief Deth on what's happening in the future. And that's basically it.
"Dry hair is for squids!"
"Don't piss me off!"
"He's a fortune teller."
"Hey, he screwed with the thermo."
Absolutely great stuff all around, and a great springboard to the future sequels (II and III are great, IV is pretty good, and V is… well, Tim Thomerson is in it. If part 6 had more than three dollars invested in it and an actual performance by Thomerson it probably could have worked). Tim Thomerson is always going to be Jack Deth, he is Jack Death, and, dammit, we need him back.
"Dry hair is for squids!" That line never gets old. And neither does "Trancers."
1. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre
Starring: Marilyn Burns, Allen Danziger, Paul A. Partain
Directed By: Tobe Hooper
1974
Ben Moser
This movie is scary as hell. It does it without excessive gore(in spite of the movie's title, even), sympathetic characters, or explanation. It takes the "group of unsuspecting kids in a bad place" formula and injects it with steroids. From the get-go you're thrown into things just as confused as the van full of kids are, and quickly introduced to the most dysfunctional family in cinematic history. Leatherface is iconic in spite of several absolutely terrible sequels and remakes. Why? He's speechless, he's got a chainsaw, he wears human flesh, and he doesn't stop coming after you. Even the fact that he's a cross-dresser somehow makes him more frightening. As a viewer you find yourself wrapped in the chase as Leatherface pursues his prey. Not because you want her to live, but because this movie so perfectly draws you into its twisted world. I cannot express my adoration of this movie enough. It's not just the ultimate B-movie. It's not just the ultimate horror movie. It's the ultimate movie.
1. Army of Darkness
Starring: Bruce Campbell, Embeth Davidtz, and Marcus Gilbert
Directed By: Sam Raimi
1992
Ryan Latimer
The B movie to end all B movies for Deadites too young to jump on the first bandwagon with Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell in 1982. "Army of Darkness" is "Evil Dead" with a pulse, one of very few B movies too be proud of such a label, run with it and in the process make an actual quality, witty, quotable, time-tested, worthwhile movie out of the long, trying journey (and if you don't believe it was a taxing affair for all involved, just read Ash's autobiography). "Evil Dead" and "Brisco County, Jr." may not have hurt Campbell's image as a iconic B movie personality, "Army of Darkness" just made sure of it. Gimme some sugar, baby. Now I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the store.
1. Night of the Living Dead
Starring: Duane Jones, Judith O' Dea, and Karl Hardman
Directed By: George A. Romero
1968
Leonard Hayhurst
The influence of this film is unquestionable. It's the movie that got a bevy of young kids to pick up their 8 mm cameras and mix homegrown make up in their kitchen sink. It's the precursor of The Evil Dead and like it has a feel of being much better than it should be. The cast is surprisingly good with Duane Jones being a strong African American role model. It's spawned sequels, parodies, imitators, take offs, homage; an industry in and of itself.
1. Army of Darkness
Starring: Bruce Campbell, Embeth Davidtz, and Marcus Gilbert
Directed By: Sam Raimi
1992
Chad Webb
This should not be much of a surprise. The character of Ash was introduced in Evil Dead, and in Evil Dead 2 he continued to grow on us, but it was the third installment by Sam Raimi that is the most memorable. I will never get tired of watching this movie. It has so many funny sequences combined with entertaining action, and unforgettable one-liners that I can guarantee that anyone would have a blast watching it. I realize that I am not the only staff member to write about this movie, and there is a reason for that. It is spectacular. If you have not had the pleasure of viewing this film, you must go ot now and rent it, or buy it if you wish. I saw this film before I saw the Evil Dead movies, and that had no bearing on my final rating. I was disappointed to hear the rumors of Freddy vs Jason vs Ash fall flat. That would have been great.
Honorable Mention
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Starring: Dolly Read, Cynthia Myers, and John Lazar
Directed By: Russ Meyer
1970
Well I hope everyone enjoyed this Top Ten countdown. If we learned anything after reading this feature, it is this: Bruce Campbell and Zombie movies rule.
