Emmy Nominations, Ebert Laid Low, Green Day Sucks – this and much more crap that you already knew.
Songs that Should Never be Covered, Ever
"American Idiot" by Green Day.
In every past installment of this feature, I have chosen a classic song that has been played so perfectly that no one else could even compare. But not this week. This week I'm picking a song that sucks, flat out, and will suck no matter who plays it.
"American Idiot" was overplayed from the start, and a big hit for no reason I can discern, save this – the American Idol crowd thought it was clever and bought into it. I have liked Green Day before this album, but this song (and the singles that followed it) completely broke me of liking the band – it actually made me retroactively dislike some Green Day songs I previously enjoyed.
Further proof of the awfulness of this song is given via Richard Cheese. If you don't know Cheese, you're doing yourself a disservice. This guy is a Vegas-style lounge singer who does covers of top hits – rap, pop, metal, you name it, Cheese covers it. I have all six of his albums, and love all his stuff. Now, Cheese's WORST cover is of "American Idiot" not because Cheese fucked it up, but because it sucks to begin with, and not even his brilliance can save it.
I always say "it's not a hit until Richard Cheese sings it." In this case, not even he could make the song work. So no one else should ever try.
The Idiot Box Mailbag
Once again, I put the ‘idiot' in "Idiot Box"
David writes, to take me the fuck to school…
Hey Nate,
Let me preface by stating I do not like Rosie. However, you wrote that she had her show cancelled due to poor ratings and that claim is false. Rosie's decision to leave her show was her decision and she was the one who chose the new host (one of the aunts from Sabrina the Teenage Witch). Thus, she was never cancelled when the host. You may want to check your facts in the future to ensure accurate claims.
I like that he made sure to let everyone know he was NOT defending Rosie, just pointing out my error. David is not a Rosie apologist, and I respect that. And he's right – I didn't check my facts. And in the future, I probably won't be any more careful – sheeeeeit, I don't get paid for writing this, it's just something I do for fun in my spare time, and fact-checking is not fun!
Which brings me to another point – I rarely check my facts. I mean, when it comes to comics and horror movies, I'm on the money like honey. But honestly, most of the time I don't bother checking facts. So take a lesson from David, and read everything I write with a big-assed grain of salt.
And another thing – don't do that with just me. Take EVERYTHING you read on-line (or in print) with a grain of salt. Most on-line writers fact-check just as little as I do, and some of the guys and gals that do accurately fact-check do it with an agenda to promote (so they disregard certain facts and spotlight others.)
In short, don't believe what you read, just absorb it, compare it with what you already know, or go to a library and check it out.
The Idiot Box Proper
Film critic Roger Ebert's condition is being described as "serious but stable" as he continues to recover from emergency surgery to repair a burst blood vessel near the site of a recent operation to remove a cancerous growth on his salivary gland. His wife Chaz said Monday that doctors had told her that he is "responding well" to treatment,
Ebert is a role model of mine. Not because I always agree with him, no. I think he has a very accessible writing style, and his reviews are usually very well done. He's been a big influence on the movie reviews I write. So big ups to the Ebe, and to anyone out there who prays, say a prayer for him.
Emmy Nominations Announced aka Everybody Loves Jack Bauer
And these have indeed been fact-checked!
Outstanding Lead Actor In A Comedy Series
Larry David as Himself
The King Of Queens
Kevin James as Doug Heffernan
Monk
Tony Shalhoub as Adrian Monk
The Office
Steve Carell as Michael Scott
Two And A Half Men
Charlie Sheen as Charlie Harper
Outstanding Lead Actor In A Drama Series
Law & Order
Christopher Meloni as Detective Elliot Stabler
Rescue Me
Denis Leary as Tommy Gavin
Six Feet Under
Peter Krause as Nate Fisher
24 Kiefer Sutherland as Jack Bauer
The West Wing
Martin Sheen as President Josiah Bartlet
Outstanding Lead Actress In A Comedy Series
The Comeback
Lisa Kudrow as Valerie Cherish
Malcolm In The Middle
Jane Kaczmarek as Lois
The New Adventures Of Old Christine`
Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Christine Campbell
Out Of Practice
Stockard Channing as Lydia Barnes
Will & Grace
Debra Messing as Grace
(Fairly weak bunch of nominees this year. I can't pick a winner or a favorite, because I either dislike or haven't seen all the shows involved)
Outstanding Lead Actress In A Drama Series
The Closer
Kyra Sedgwick as Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson
Commander In Chief
Geena Davis as Mackenzie Allen
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Mariska Hargitay as Detective Olivia Benson
Six Feet Under
Frances Conroy as Ruth Fisher
The West Wing
Allison Janney as C.J. Cregg
Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy Series
Arrested Development
Will Arnett as Gob Bluth
Entourage
Jeremy Piven as Ari Gold
Malcolm In The Middle
Bryan Cranston as Hal
Two And A Half Men
Jon Cryer as Alan Harper
Will & Grace
Sean Hayes as Jack
(Let's go Job! Will Arnett has been the funniest character on tv for three years now, and finally he gets his due. But still, he's no Brad Garrett. And that, my friends, is an Arrested reference!)
Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Drama
Boston Legal
William Shatner as Denny Crane
Huff
Oliver Platt as Russell Tupper
The Sopranos
Michael Imperioli as Christopher Moltisanti
24
Gregory Itzin as President Charles Logan
The West
Alan Alda as Arnold Vinick
(What's with all the West Wing noms? I'll tell you what it is – they always vote for West Wing for some reason, even though the show hasn't been strong for several seasons. They just use the show to round out all the catagories.)
Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy Series
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Cheryl Hines as Cheryl David
Desperate Housewives
Alfre Woodard as Betty Applewhite
My Name Is Earl
Jaime Pressly as Joy
Weeds
Elizabeth Perkins as Celia Hodes
Will & Grace
Megan Mullally as Karen
(I got to tell you, I'm with Jaime Pressly all the way here. It's not just that she is funny on the show, it's also because her character is 100% different from her real life persona. And that, friends, is what ACTING is all about)
Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Drama Series
Boston Legal
Candice Bergen as Shirley Schmidt
Grey's Anatomy
Sandra Oh as Cristina Yang
Grey's Anatomy
Chandra Wilson as Dr. Bailey
Huff
Blythe Danner as Izzy Huffstodt
24
Jean Smart as First Lady Martha Logan
Outstanding Comedy Series
Arrested Development
Curb Your Enthusiasm
The Office
Scrubs
Two And A Half Men
(Another solid bunch of nominations here. Of course I am fully behind Arrested, my favorite sitcom of all time.)
Outstanding Drama Series
Grey's Anatomy
House
The Sopranos
24
The West Wing
(Last year LOST won this award, this year it wasn't even nominated… probably because it veered more into genre territory and away from standard drama stuff. My vote goes for 24, which had its best season ever this year.)
Outstanding Miniseries
Bleak House (Masterpiece Theatre)
Elizabeth I
Into The West
Sleeper Cell
(Let's get some fucking props for Sleeper Cell, y'all!)
Heel of the Week
Kenneth Lay – can you believe that chunk of detritus died before he could be adequately gang-raped in prison? Yeah, yeah, I know that was a stupid comment – because Lay was rich and white, he would have gone to one of those country club jails like they send Sideshow Bob to in "Simpsons." But still, here was a dick who managed to be a dick even in dying.
Merle Vaughn is an ex-soldier, an ex-bodyguard for a Vietnamese druglord, an ex-con, and an ex employee for a local dope trucking operation. After his new wife is murdered, this lifelong killer and thug is now the single father of a four month old baby girl. Merle wants to protect his daughter, and he'll kill the entire city to do it.
I'm using the blog to post updates and chapters on a crime novel. It's tough, violent, brutal in spots, even – but there is more going on than crime. Check it out
And after that, head over to the Podcast Homepage
where you'll find collection of all the Podcasts I've recorded with my buddies. Features yours truly expounding upon B movies, music, and dumb shit with a couple of actual journalists. It's called Scene and Heard. It is worth a listen, if only for my Barry White-ishly sexy voice. Word to that.
