The October Zombie-Thon! - Day 11: Bio Zombie
Posted by Trevor Snyder on 10.11.2006
Here's a unique concept: zombies in a mall.
BIO ZOMBIE (1998)
Directed by: Wilson Yip Written by: Matt Chow, Siu Man Sing, and Wilson Yip Country: Hong Kong
In case you don't have time to actually watch the Hong Kong film Bio Zombie, everything you need to know about its rampant sense of humor can pretty much be gathered from the DVD's opening menu, which allows you watch the movie either dubbed into English, in it's original Cantonese with English subtitles, or in Cantonese with "Engrish" subtitles, which are poorly translated on purpose. Anyone who has ever watched a badly translated bootleg Hong Kong film will appreciate just how hilariously accurate these nonsensical subtitles are, and their very inclusion on the DVD should give you a pretty good sense that this is a movie with its tongue planted very firmly in its cheek.
If not, maybe you'll start to get the hint when you discover that two main characters, a couple of shifty scumbags who work at the bootleg VCD shop in the mall, are named Woody Invincible and Crazy Bee, instantly earning them status as one of the best named duos ever (why the movie didn't capitalize and go with a title like Woody Invincible and Crazy Bee Fight the Zombies is beyond me). In a nice break from the usual movie convention of having likable lead characters, Woody and Crazy are complete and unabashed assholes, not above verbally and physically harassing their customers. But, like most great movie jerks, they are also somewhat on the cowardly side – they have no problem beating up a single nerdy customer, but when faced with a group of angry thugs they quickly back down and become as apologetic about their behavior as you can get.
Along with their miscreant attitudes comes a general lack of good sense, so when the two accidentally run over a man while driving their boss' car back to the mall, they quickly turn a bad situation even worse. Unbeknownst to them, the man they've hit is carrying a top-secret biological weapon, disguised as a harmless bottle of soda, and they mistakenly take his dying words of "soda" as a request for a drink. So they obediently pour the liquid down his throat and proceed to throw him in the trunk of the car.
Once back at the mall Woody and Crazy actually manage to forget they have a half-dead man in their car in the parking garage, and by the time they remember he's mysteriously vanished. Rather than spend too much time trying to figure out where he went, Woody and Crazy instead return to their old tricks: in need of money they disguise themselves and mug Rolls, a good-natured mallrat whom Woody has a thing for. Although Rolls suspects the two are the culprits, she wants proof, so she enlists the aid of her friend Jelly (yep, Jelly and Rolls) to help get Woody drunk and seduce him into telling the truth. Unfortunately for them, their "date" is interrupted when the man they've hit, now up and walking as a bloodthirsty zombie, triggers a full-scale zombie invasion, and the four soon find themselves locked in the mall with roving gangs of the living dead.
Our living characters aren't alone in the mall, however. They're joined by a supporting cast of characters including Sushi Boy, a geeky waiter whose own crush on Rolls continues on into the afterlife; shopkeeper Brother Kui, who is to this film what Harry Cooper was to Night of the Living Dead (the annoying jerk who disagrees with everyone and refuses to listen to even the most rational of suggestions); and Kui's lovely wife, whose contribution to the film consists mostly of taking her husband's constant insults and engaging in a little flirting with Crazy Bee.
And, of course, they're also joined by a number of zombies – almost too many, to be honest. Even though the mall is already deserted when the zombie outbreak begins and our characters are locked in, more and more of the creatures just keep popping up. This phenomenon is never really explained, and I found myself wondering if Hong Kong zombies have some sort of ability to asexually reproduce.
There's really no need to spend too much time wrapping your head around the magically appearing zombies, though. After all, who wants this movie to make sense, anyway? Bio Zombie is unashamedly stupid, it's clearly a comedy made for zombie fans, which explains its mall setting. In fact, its locale has led to many reviews referring to it as Dawn of the Dead meets Mallrats, but the whimsical humor is much more akin to the work of Stephen Chow (who is name-dropped in the movie) than Kevin Smith, and features some genuinely hysterical moments, including a great visual gag that plays on the idea of split-screen, and a great sequence in which onscreen prompts, like those in a video-game, inform the audience that Woody's gun is out of ammo and his cell-phone's battery is dead.
The film also benefits from its actors, all of whom know what kind of movie they are in and play it in an appropriately exaggerated manner. The three leads, especially, are particularly appealing: with their over-the-top, rubbery facial contortions, Jordan Chan and Sam Lee make Woody Invincible and Crazy Bee into two of the most lovable scoundrels in zombie movie history; and, as Rolls, the gorgeous Angela Tong's primary purpose in the film seems to be running around in a pair of short shorts and no bra, but she looks damn good doing it, so I'm certainly not going to complain. These characters are so engaging, in fact, that the film holds its own as a comedy even before the zombies begin their attack.
Actually – and I certainly never expected to find myself saying this during the Zombie-Thon – it's almost a shame that the zombies even had to show up. I was far more interested in the comedic misadventures of Woody and Bee than I was in the film's final act, where Yip regrettably pushes the dumb humor aside and tries for more of a straight horror vibe. This sudden change in tone is pretty doomed from the start, however, due to the fact that the film features some of the worst zombie make-up you'll ever see – the majority of the ghouls look like they're wearing cheap "zombie gloves," and for some reason tend to flake off a dusty white powder whenever hit (perhaps it's an ancient Asian belief that when you die your flesh converts to talcum powder) – and the movie is relatively light on graphic violence; the bloodshed we do see is hardly convincing.
What's even worse is that Woody and Crazy suddenly become more heroic; a frustrating development since by this point we have not only forgiven the two for their trouble-making personalities, we love them for it. And the very end, a surprisingly bleak and depressing finale, feels very out of place compared to the majority of the film's tone.
Still, by this time the movie has already worked its peculiar charm on you, and it's easy to forgive it for the bothersome ending and just accept it for what it is: a hysterical and lighthearted take on the zombie movie, with two of the best characters you'll find in the entire zombie-comedy subgenre, period. And please, for the sake of extra comedy, make sure to watch it with those "Engrish" subtitles. Once you read a line of dialogue like "If there is a zombie, I'll eat them up," you won't regret it.
The 411: A ludicrous-and-proud-of-it buddy comedy, that just happens to also be a zombie movie, Hong Kong's Bio Zombie makes up for its lack of real scares or convincing monsters with a cast of appealing characters and genuine laughs. Although its mall setting and references to zombie video games suggests that it was made primarily for fans of the genre, it's just goofy and charming enough to possibly make fans of anyone who enjoys movies that don't take themselves very seriously.
