The October Zombie-Thon! - Day 12: Zombie Lake
Posted by Trevor Snyder on 10.12.2006
Featuring the worst zombies of all...Nazi zombies.
ZOMBIE LAKE (1981)
Directed by: Jean Rollin Written by: Julian Esteban & Jess Franco Country: France
Alright, I think we can all agree that, for the most part, zombies are not good people. Oh sure, you'll occasionally get the rare cute and somewhat lovable zombie, like Bub in Day of the Dead, or the zombie who has retained enough of their former self that they're not necessarily a threat, like Johnny Dingle in My Boyfriend's Back. But these are exceptions to the rule; the far more typical zombie behavior of murder and cannibalism means they're not exactly a bunch that you want to invite to your weekend get-togethers (hell, even Dingle eventually gave into his cravings for flesh, and Bub was only docile because he was being supplied with daily helpings of fresh guts).
But as bad as zombies are as a whole, every group has its black sheep, and the living dead are no exception. Ask any regular, 9-to-5, meat-and-potatoes zombie, and he'll tell you (after swallowing down those intestines, that is): there's nothing worse than a Nazi zombie. These guys are the lowest of the low, and have in fact been scientifically proven to be 85% more evil than your average flesh-eater (hey, you can argue all you want, but it's science). Think about it, it's bad enough having a walking deceased person gnawing on your innards, but do you really want to know that that ghoul was a Nazi before he became a blood-thirsty monster? That's like rubbing salt in the bloody wound.
But don't take my word for it; just check out the paralyzing fear those Nazi zombie bastards have inflicted on the townspeople in Jean Rollin's Zombie Lake. At least, I'm assuming it's fear, because if not I'd have to call it complete stupidity – although the residents of the film's small French village know full well that their local lake houses a band of deadly Nazi zombies, never once does it occur to them to cordon off the area, or at least put up signs that read "No Swimming: Murderous Living Dead in Lake."
Of course, I guess if they did that it would prevent Rollin from giving us an entire first three and half minutes spent watching a lovely young lass frolicking outdoors in the nude, before skinny-dipping in the lake. That's right, not even a minute and a half in, and Rollin delivers full frontal nudity, even going that extra mile with an extremely classy shot, from below, looking straight up at her naked crotch as she swims (Jean Rollin – filmmaker, feminist). If you were wondering if this was an unrated film, I'd say that pretty much answers that question.
As you've probably guessed, the girl's good times don't last long, as she falls victim to the most hilariously blasé entrance of a zombie ever: we simply cut to a member of the living dead casually swimming up underneath the girl and attacking her. Hmm, that was certainly…uneventful (or at least as uneventful as a zombie attack can be). I mean, I guess when your movie is called Zombie Lake, you're not really going to surprise anyone with the first appearance of a zombie; but c'mon, Jean, a little more intrigue couldn't hurt.
Needless to say, the presence of these Nazi zombies in their local lake doesn't sit well with the townspeople, especially once the zombies begin to get even bolder and march into town for their daily meals. It's almost enough to make you think the monsters have a personal grudge against the town. And, in fact, it turns out they do, as an intrepid reporter learns when she arrives to write a story on the strange lake, apparently known as the "lake of the damned," and the legends that surround it. The town's mayor first helpfully informs her that she is misinformed about the current name of the lake. "No, you're wrong, miss," he explains, "it so happens its real name is the ‘Goddamned Lake," and not the ‘Lake of the Damned.'" Well, clearly that's much better, and far less ominous.
Anyway, the Mayor proceeds to fill in the lake's (and movie's) backstory: it seems the town was the site of a Nazi occupation during WWII, until the townspeople grew some sack and overtook their occupiers, killing them and tossing their bodies into the lake – although not before one of the Nazi's fathered a girl in an illicit affair with one of the town's young women. We later learn the daughter is still living in the town, and remarkably enough looks to be no older than 12 despite the fact that the movie appears to be taking place at least 30 years after the war.
Eventually this young girl is visited by her undead father, taking a break from his usual murder sprees, and when he shows her a necklace she recognizes from a picture of her mother, she realizes this strange, green man is her father. He then gives her the necklace, in what I'm assuming is supposed to be a heartfelt scene, but here I'm afraid I have to call time out – This is getting to be a little too much to take. It's hard enough to buy a zombie with a heart of gold, or a Nazi with a heart of gold, but a NAZI ZOMBIE with a heart of gold? That's just crazy. It's a shame, too, since the movie was really realistic up until that point.
And apparently I'm not alone in my disgust over this turn of events, as our lead zombie's compatriots appear none-too-pleased with his decision to spend time with his daughter – although I suppose that could be because the zombies dig the bachelor lifestyle and don't want one of their buddies ruining it by always having a kid around. Anyway, the reason isn't important. What is important is that it results in a zombie knife fight (definitely a first for me, and I've watched a lot of these things) between the lead zombie and one of his mates. Of course, since they're both slow-moving zombies, it's not exactly the most thrilling fight scene ever put on film, but it was a nice thought.
Meanwhile, the townspeople, perhaps emboldened by the fact that the zombies don't look at all frightening in person, finally decide to take action and destroy the zombies, a plan hampered only by the fact that the little girl doesn't want to see her father destroyed. She insists that he's a good ghost (sure, he's both a Nazi and a zombie, but kids truly can see the good in anyone), despite the Mayor's suggestion that bombing her father to oblivion is the only way to reunite him with her mother in Heaven. When another of the town's children is murdered, however, the zombie's daughter finally approves. In fact, she takes charge of the entire operation, ordering the Mayor around in a funny, yet somewhat creepy, no-nonsense manner. Maybe if this little girl had been in charge of the town the whole time, the situation would have never escalated to this point. Now armed with the daughter's blessing, the townspeople enact their final plan to destroy the zombies once and for all, in a thrilling climax. Well, if by "thrilling," you mean "lame," "poorly shot," and "extremely anticlimactic."
The 411: On one hand, Zombie Lake is what it is: a Jean Rollin zombie movie. Anyone who has seen other Rollin films knows exactly what this means: gratuitous nudity, amateurish acting, a healthy amount of gore, and slooooooooow pacing. But, even if that is your bag, be forewarned: Zombie Lake is pretty atrocious even by Rollin's standards. Rollin has admitted as much in interviews, and his obvious boredom with the material is quite evident in the final product – his trademark sense of gothic atmosphere is noticeably absent; instead we are left with a lot of repetitive scenes of men in cheesy green make-up and Nazi uniforms wandering around the town's streets, and some of the worst English-dubbing you will ever encounter (my personal favorite moment being when we see a crowd of townspeople cheering, but with only two or three bored voices dubbed in).
And yet, you really can't completely dismiss a movie featuring a zombie attack on a skinny-dipping female basketball team. Maybe it's not the same kind of haunting, poetic and dream-like experience that many of Rollin's other films have been, but it is good for at least a few laughs. True, there's nothing here to recommend for non-zombie fans, and it's certainly not going to draw in any new fans to the genre. And yes, it is disappointing to see such a poor outing from the usually more-reliable Rollin. But bad-movie enthusiasts might want to give it a look, for its pure camp value alone.
