The October Zombie-Thon! - Day 30: SARS Wars: Bangkok Zombie Crisis
Posted by Trevor Snyder on 10.30.2006
And you thought Asian Bird Flu was scary...
SARS WARS: BANGKOK ZOMBIE CRISIS (2004)
Directed by: Taweewat Wantha Written by: Sommai Lert-Ularn, Kuanchun Phemyad, Uncle, Taweewat Wantha, and Adirek Wattaleela Country: Thailand
Late in SARS Wars: Bangkok Zombie Crisis, a zany, absurdist zombie-comedy from Thailand, one of its main characters expresses his astonishment at just how crazy the movie has become. "Shit! We have zombies, a bomb, and now a giant snake," he says. "This film is really aiming for some cash."
Well, I have to hand it to SARS Wars; at least it's brutally honest about its own intentions. Of course, it's not like I needed the movies constant self-referential reminders about how wacky it is – I'm fairly certain I would have realized I was watching no great piece of high art pretty early on, when a SARS-carrying mosquito flies all the way from Africa to Thailand, bringing the deadly virus with it.
Not just any strain of SARS, though. No, this mosquito brings the dreaded SARS Virus No. 4, the deadliest of them all. You know, the one that turns those infected into bloodthirsty zombies. Eventually, the virus is let loose in a large apartment building, which just happens to be the very same place a gang of bumbling kidnappers are holding their latest hostage, a pretty young schoolgirl named Liu.
Meanwhile, Liu's wealthy father has turned to a retired old warrior, Master Thep, for help getting back his daughter. Unwilling to return to action, Thep instead enlists his top student, Khun Krabi, to venture off to the building and rescue the girl. Unfortunately, Khun's rescue mission just happens to coincide with a full-scale zombie outbreak in the apartment complex, which the Thai government responds to by sealing everyone in and planning to blow up the building.
Now in over his head, Khun has no choice but to call on his master, and before long Master Thep ends his self-imposed retirement and rushes to his student's aid. Together, they must fight their way out of the building before the planned explosion, battling not only zombies and the kidnappers, but also a CGI-zombified baby, and the aforementioned giant snake. Thankfully, they won't have to do it alone, as they are joined by the beautiful Dr. Diane (inexplicably wearing a sexy leather and fishnets outfit under her biohazard suit – not that I'm complaining). Diane has developed a vaccine for SARS Virus No. 4, with just one slight drawback – there's a 25 in 26 chance that, instead of curing the victim, it will cause their head to explode. And, as if that wasn't bad enough, Thep has forgotten to bring a set of spare batteries for his light-saber!
SARS Wars basically feels like the great zombie comedy that Stephen Chow never made. I'm not sure how indicative it is of Thailand's comedy films in general, all I'm sure is that the humor here is goofy with a capitol "what the hell?!" As is almost always the case with any Asian comedy, some of the jokes are probably lost in the translation, or simply meaningless to the English-speaking audience. And, quite frankly, even some of the jokes that do translate are embarrassingly dumb. But at least that seems to be the intention, as SARS Wars clearly does not want to be taken seriously, even for a second. The constant barrage of jokes are outrageous, juvenile, and, most of all, self-mocking – despite references to such varied films as Star Wars and The Matrix, SARS Wars favorite target for ridicule appears to be itself.
It's a good thing, too, since there would be absolutely no way to take this movie, as unashamedly moronic as it is, serious in any way. So, if you're looking for an intelligent and witty comedy, or a legitimate zombie action film, perhaps you'd better move on - SARS Wars is far more Bio Zombie than it is Dawn of the Dead. Not that that's a bad thing – sometimes you need to just relax and watch something that has no aspirations above being as joyfully preposterous as possible. Where else are you going to see action figures subbing for actors in stunt scenes, one character interrupting another's inner monologue by telling him "you're thinking too loud," one of the film's heroes escaping a horde of ravenous zombies by doing the worm (if you have to ask what "the worm" is, you must not be a wrestling fan), or a zombie fighting weapon known as the "Stop Virus Bullet?"
And where else will you find two heroes as enjoyably ludicrous as Master Thep and Khun Krabi? From the very first moment Thep introduces his prize student, and the two launch into a bizarre and pointless impromptu dance, you know these two are not quite your usual run-of-the-mill heroes. The unabashedly lecherous Thep, who actually froths at the mouth at the sight of female nudity and is at one point revived from a catatonic state by a provocative dance from Dr. Diane, is a hoot, but the real star of the show is the stoic-to-the-point-of-being-clueless, Khun Krabi, a warrior-in-training so obsessed with looking cool while kicking ass that he won't even use an elevator unless he's sure he can do so "in a hip kind of way."
But, hey, at his virtuous nature also means he's unflinchingly honest. When Liu promises Khun that she will treat him to a week of meals and movies if he get her out of this mess alive, Khun simply responds: "I don't want to be a burden. I only want to sleep with you just once." I'll tell you what, I've seen plenty of movies that could have saved a lot of time if only their heroes had been that forthcoming.
Of course, SARS Wars is also a zombie movie, so I suppose I should talk a little about the actual horror and action elements. And, surprisingly, in this case that's not a bad thing. In most Asian zombie-comedies, like Bio Zombie or Wild Zero, the actual moments of undead mayhem are by far the film's weakest element. But those portions of SARS Wars are surprisingly well done. No, it's certainly not scary or anything, but the unique zombie make-up, which makes them look some sort of mutated vampire, is terrific, and definitely an improvement over the usual "lets just paint their faces blue and throw some talcum powder in their hair" approach commonly found in Asian zombie films. The frequent scenes of gore are also quite well done, and the film makes the most out of what I will assume was a relatively average-budget by restricting the majority of the action to one high-rise building, which in turn gives the movie a cool "Die Hard with zombies" feel. SARS Wars even throws in a few unnecessary, but enjoyable, animated sequences, apparently taking a page out of the Kill Bill playbook.
But just because the film's zombie elements are effective, that doesn't mean the movie doesn't have its share of weaknesses – not surprising, given the film's "lets throw everything against the wall and see what sticks" formula. The director's desire to keep piling the insanity on results in a lot of hit and miss humor (while an utterly deranged Crying Game parody is legitimately hysterical, a sex scene in which the characters try positions with names like "hidden dragon" and "crouching tiger eats noodles" is just groan-worthy). Also, the CGI scenes leave a lot to be desired, to the point that you might wonder why they were even included at all. Didn't the filmmakers think the movie was already strange enough, without giving us an acrobatic zombie baby and a giant snake as well?
The 411: Thailand's surreal zombie-spoof SARS Wars never quite reaches the hysterical heights of similar Asian zombie-comedies, like Bio Zombie or Wild Zero, but is still just absurd and imaginative enough to equal a good time for anyone who likes a little cheese on their zombie movie. The jokes are hot and miss, and even the effective humor is probably too low-brow to appeal to everyone, but the surprisingly effective zombie scenes and its admirable self-mocking goofiness make it a relatively pleasant and painless way to spend 90 minutes.
