The Big Screen Bulletin 11.06.06: Special 50th Week Edition!
Posted by Chad Webb on 11.06.2006
The return of the hotties!, A nightmare with "Behind Enemy Lines II", details on "Mad Max 4", Borat tops the box office, The Wachowskis' take on "Speed Racer", Soderbergh's Che projects, new quickees, trailers, DVD releases, and everything else you love!
Straight to Video Nightmares
Behind Enemy Lines II: Axis of Evil
Starring: Matt Bushel, Nicholas Gonzalez, Shane Edelman, Denis Arndt, and Peter Coyote
Written/Directed By: James Dodson
Release Date: October 17, 2006
Running Time: 96 minutes
In 2001 the movie world suffered through Behind Enemy Lines, an Owen Wilson action vehicle with Gene Hackman. It was beyond idiotic because of the fact that the actors did not resemble soldiers for one second. In addition, the filmmakers wanted you to believe that these retarded events actually occurred. Five years later, a direct-to-DVD sequel lands in video stores. The film starts by showing viewers that someone did a good bit of research. We sit through a history lesson about the North Korean/US conflict from the time it started until now. The stupidity commences with the President finding out that a missile was spotted with satellite photographs in North Korea. He and the staff of military leaders argue about what to do for about 2 minutes, and then choose to send in Navy Seals undercover to destroy the site. We then meet the festive group of Navy Seals who have the same personality traits as the soldiers in just about every clichéd war film since the beginning of time. Their war paint looks like they bought it at a Halloween costume store. At the last minute, the Seals mission is aborted because the missile is discovered to be nuclear, but 4 of them already jumped from the plane (1 disobeyed orders). They get trapped in North Korean territory. For now, no rescue mission will be sent. It seems no one gives a sh** about them. They land and get spotted by a child right away. These are the absolute worst Seals in history! North Korean soldiers soon spot them, and the tedious shooting begins.
Matt Bushell and Nicholas Gonzalez star as the 2 main soldiers. The other two are a Casper looking newbie kid and a black guy. Unsurprisingly, those two die right away. I thought Seals never left a man behind? These guys quickly leave the area without looking back for their friends. Meanwhile, the President is going forward with a preemptive strike, and the South Koreans confront the President. They are pissed because if the US strikes North Korea, the N. Koreans will in turn, bomb the hell out of South Korea. Obviously, the plot of this film is quite strange after hearing the recent announcements of the North Koreans testing nuclear missiles, but trust me the real news is more fascinating. I must add at this point that this President (Peter Coyote), and his staff are quite possibly the worst decision makers, and biggest morons, I have ever laid eyes on. Bruce McGill plays a crooked general who demands military action right away, and he lies in order to get the President's approval. This President makes George W. Bush look like Abraham Lincoln. I should also add that the lead soldier keeps having flashbacks regarding his superior officer, played by Keith David, who does his best to imitate R. Lee Ermey and Louis Gossett Jr. So the two remaining Seals get captured, and tortured. The torture consists of getting punched in the face and a nail through the hand. A nail through the hand? That showed no creativity whatsoever. Couldn't a crew member search the internet for an inventive form of torture? Anyway, a North Korean dude who is charge comes over and says he will not tell his leader that he has captured US troops because he thinks it will hurt his country in the end. Yeah right. How convenient that they get caught by the only North Korean general who disagrees with his country's position.
I won't spoil anything else about this brilliant Oscar winning plot. Writer/Director James Dodson supplies direction that is about as irritating as you can imagine. He attempts to be Tony Scott's protégé with his use of acid trip coloring and every single editing stunt in the book, from endless slow motion shots, freeze frames, and on and on. These are inserted to distract us from the dreadful storyline. This whole movie seems like it was completed in one day. Every performance is so exaggerated and rushed, that it's pathetic. The action scenes give your speakers a workout, but they are just plain boring, and ultimately forgettable. It was humorous to see the President and his staff cast to look like that of George W. Bush and Condoleeza Rice. This film was cheap, cheesy, poorly constructed, aggravating, and dull. The most bothersome part was the way over the top score, which seemed forced down my throat and never ending. It was designed to be compelling and moving I guess. The whole film was made with every trick anybody could think of to disguise this sludge for what it really is. Yet again, this ends with footage utilized so that we believe that the events in the film actually happened. How far gone would you have to be?
Final Rating = 2.0/10.0
The News Bulletin
Borat Beats Santa
Sacha Baron Cohen's Kazakh alter-ego Borat made glorious returns at the boxoffice, surprising Hollywood with a No. 1 debut. "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan," 20th Century Fox's big-screen incarnation of Cohen's Kazakh journalist from "Da Ali G Show," took in $26.4 million during its opening weekend, according to studio estimates Sunday. Boxoffice analysts had expected Disney's "The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause," with Tim Allen returning as St. Nicholas, to win the weekend. It was No. 2 with $20 million, followed by the Paramount-DreamWorks animated comedy "Flushed Away" in third place with $19.1 million.
"Borat" played in only 837 theaters, fewer than one-fourth the count for "The Santa Clause 3" and "Flushed Away." Averaging a whopping $31,511 a theater, "Borat" easily outdistanced "The Santa Clause 3," which averaged $5,784 in 3,458 cinemas and "Flushed Away," which averaged $5,152 in 3,707 theaters. Fox plans to expand "Borat" to as many as 2,500 theaters this Friday. The two movies split the family audience, but their opening weekends were solid starts for the holiday season. Disney and Paramount expect their movies to hang tough through year's end, even with the Warner Bros. animated penguin tale "Happy Feet" coming just before Thanksgiving. "The Thanksgiving holiday is going to be just rocking," said Disney head of distribution Chuck Viane. The previous weekend's top movie, Lionsgate's horror sequel "Saw III," held up solidly at No. 4 with $15.5 million, raising its 10-day total to $60.1 million.
I am happy that Borat did so well because the cast and crew deserve it, but had one, not two family films come out this weekend, Santa Clause 3 would have easily topped Borat. That has nothing to do with the quality of the films, but it is a fact. In the long run, Santa Clause 3 will be victorious I think. I am impressed with Flushed Away raking in $19 million, and further amazed that it beat Saw III, which came in at #4 with around $16 million. Meanwhile, The Departed is still hanging in the top 5 by bringing in approximately $8 million. What a fabulous time to be Martin Scorsese right now. Otherwise, nothing new was happening in the top 10. Flags of Our Fathers, The Prestige, and Man of the Year are still doing fine. I guess I forgot to mention that The Queen cracked the top 10 now that it opened in more theaters. Next week, Stranger Than Fiction and Ridley Scott's newest offering A Good Year have a tough climb to the top of the box office.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Soderbergh Gets "Che" Crazy!
It's a risky bet, but director Steven Soderbergh ("Traffic", "Ocean's Eleven") thinks he can draw in audiences for two separate biographical films on the revolutionary Che Guevara. His backers agree, so the production that has already begun shooting footage with Benicio Del Toro as Guevara will be split into two feature film projects. According to "Variety", the first film will be called "The Argentine", following Che's movements in the fifties as he helped a group of Cuban exiles turn into a popular movement and overthrow the US-friendly dictator who then ruled Cuba. The second picture, "Guerrilla", is to begin with Che's 1964 visit to the United Nations in New York City. Presumably, it will end with Guevara's capture and execution in Bolivia.
Soderbergh has previously acknowledged that his film would be quite complicated and difficult to pull off. The decision to make two separate movies may alleviate many of the complex issues and give the story more room to breathe. The filmmaker expects to make both pictures for less than $70 million combined. Soderbergh's production will not be a halfway effort. Intended to be an accurate portrayal of the guerilla's life, the two films will be largely filmed in Spanish. Writer Peter Buchman and actor Del Toro have been working with a translator to convert Buchman's English-language screenplays. "The Argentine" and "Guerrilla" will be co-produced with two Spanish companies, Morena Films and Telecinco. In addition to Del Toro ("Traffic"), Javier Bardem, Franka Potente ("Run, Lola, Run") and Benjamin Bratt ("Law & Order"), and Julia Ormond ("Smilla's Sense of Snow") also star. Stay tuned for further news on the Che films, including release dates, as more is announced.
Oddly enough, I just recently watched The Motorcycle Diaries for the first time. I thought it was a superb road movie about Che Guevara when he was a young man. I think these two films should definitely be made. His whole life is interesting enough to be made into movies. I almost think a mini-series or something of that nature might work better, but I have faith in Soderbergh's filmmaking ability. The fact that they will be filmed primarily in Spanish further entices me about the project. Del Toro is a excellent choice for the lead role, but I wonder why Gael Garcia Bernal (portrayed Guevara in The Motorcycle Diaries) was never attached or rumoured at all. It is also a wise choice to have a lower budget, and have two separate films. That way nothing will feel rushed or too flashy.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Wachowski's Go Racing
Producer Joel Silver today confirmed a report that appeared on IGN last June, linking filmmaking brothers Larry and Andy Wachowski ("The Matrix") to the forthcoming live-action "Speed Racer" movie. Silver told the "Hollywood Reporter" that the movie, which the Wachowskis are writing and directing, will be family-friendly. "They wanted to do something that could appeal to everybody," Silver said. He added that they are designing the look of the film as they write the script. "They are approaching these racing scenes in a way you've never seen before," said Silver. The plan is reportedly for the Wachowskis to shoot in summer 2007 for a summer 2008 release via Warner Bros. For "Speed", the Wachowskis will reunite with John Gaeta, the Oscar-winning visual effects supervisor on "The Matrix." Rumors persist that Vince Vaughn, a fan of "Speed Racer" who once pitched his own version of the project to Warners, will remain involved in some capacity. Sources told IGN last June that Vaughn would likely take a supporting role in the movie, that of Speed's big bro, Racer X.
Admittedly, I am not too familiar with Speed Racer, but I am a huge fan of the Wachowski's style. Each project they are involved with is unique, intriguing, and visually fantastic. Under any other circumstances I would not be in favor of live action adaptation here, but since a pair of gifted filmmakers such as them are tackling the material, it is noteworthy. They approach their movies with a goal to surprise and open your eyes each time. I am looking forward to watching a family film made by these guys. On a side note, Vaughn would look odd in this. There is no telling what the result will be.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bobby D Finds Two Quarters
Robert De Niro and 50 Cent? It's a match seemingly made in heaven, right? The pair are getting set to star together in a new police thriller called "New Orleans." The movie, according to industry insider mag "The Hollywood Reporter", centers on a cop who thinks his partner has died in Hurricane Katrina, only to discover that he was shot and killed. When he gets a new partner, the pair investigates the murder, taking them on a journey into a world of police corruption. De Niro will star in the lead role and 50 Cent is expected to play the new partner. "New Orleans" will be directed by Tim Hunter. Hunter has directed episodes of "The 4400", "CSI:NY", "Crossing Jordan", "House" and "Deadwood." His feature work includes "The Failures" and the not-yet-released indie Western, "The Far Side of Jericho." THR adds that the story was originally set in L.A. (it was originally called Microwave Park), but was changed to New Orleans after the Katrina disaster. Filming on the Millennium Films project is tentatively set to start in New Orleans this February.
This role doesn't exactly sound like a stretch for Mr. Deniro does it? Don't get me wrong, I am as much of a fan of the legend as anyone else, but he has been in slump for a few years now. I say this before the release of The Good Shephard, which looks outstanding, but Deniro and 50 Cent? 50 Cent is not a terrible actor, but I think this whole premise sounds dumb. I became alert when I noticed Hurricane Katrina in the summary, but the bulk of the plot centers around police corruption. Boring. We have all the police corruption films we need for a lifetime. Thanks. I have no doubts that countless films about the Katrina disaster are waiting to be discovered and turned into feature films, but this should not be one of them. It is unfortunate now that no future Katrina filmmaker can use the simple title of New Orleans. The title is decent enough, and I can see why they changed it. Who wants to go see a movie called Microwave Park?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mad Max Moving Minus Mel
So Mel Gibson may have ruled out any chance of his returning to the "Mad Max" franchise, that doesn't stop those involved however from continuing on with it. Talking with In Focus Mag, director George Miller confirmed that once he's finished with a small film he's got to do - "Max" will get underway. ""Mad Max 4" is so prepared, there seems to be a lot of momentum for it to get done... In what form and so on, I don't know. But it hasn't gotten stale in the meantime, and I'm very very keen to do it. It seems like there's the appetite out there... That's about all I can say at the moment". He explained about what happened a few years back with the 'almost shoot' situation - "We were in Namibia, Africa, and we were about to start shooting - and that's when the [Iraq] war started. And at that point, the American dollar, against the currencies we were working crashed 20 percent, and we lost a lot of our budget... We couldn't get insurance, and we couldn't get our vehicles transported on the container ships". He also spoke with Scene Unseen, be sure to have a listen.
This is still a long ways away from going forward if you ask me. I have seen all the Max films, and I love them all, but I have concerns about a fourth installment if Gibson will not be involved. I would have fallen out of my computer chair if Mel said he would accept the role for a last time. It is no shock that he dismisses the opportunity. If he would do it, maybe people wouldn't think he's a complete tool. I need to hear more about the plot, and the casting. I mean, who could fit the shoes of Mel Gibson for this role? Not many actors I'd say. So many people would abuse the franchise if they were chosen. Director George Miller hopefully will be patient, think of all the risks, and choose wisely if this sequel does become a reality. I can take the time now to say that DVD collector's editions of Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior and Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome are way overdue. The studio needs to get on the ball with some double dip action!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Spike Lee Goes Inside Once Again
Scott Weinberg writes: "If there was one successful flick from last year that I didn't think would earn a sequel, it was Spike Lee's "Inside Man." Shows how much I know, right? From Variety: "Spike Lee and Brian Grazer are developing a sequel to "Inside Man" for Universal Pictures and Imagine Entertainment. Lee is still in negotiations on a helming deal for the project, but he's already working with the original's writer, Russell Gewirtz, on a script. For now, the pair are keeping their sequel concept under wraps, including whether it would involve the return of the original's main characters, played by Denzel Washington, Clive Owen and Jodie Foster."
I understand that Inside Man was Spike Lee's most successful film to date, but a sequel is an incredible gamble. I loved Inside Man. It was an exceptional thriller that in my opinion is also extremely underrated. However, I do not approve of this proposed sequel unless the exact same cast and crew join up again. A sequel with a different plot and different characters is a horrible idea, and would suck donkey balls, but if the sequel picks up precisely where the first one left off, then maybe, just maybe, it could work out. This proves once again that sequels in Hollywood are getting way out of control. Think before you act Spike!
What's Coming to DVD….Buy or Avoid?
Cars - The best animated film so far this year. This is what great CGI flicks look like. This is a must buy. Buy
Transformers – The Movie - The previous DVD sucked, so if you don't own it yet, this is the chance to get it. I wonder which Transformers movie will be remembered? This or Michael Bay's. HaHa. Buy
Melrose Place – The Complete First Season - Between Beverly Hills and this, I would choose Beverly Hills, but neither of these shows really caught my attention. Avoid
Catch a Fire - If you still wanna see this wonderful overlooked film, read my review by clicking here
Saw III - When I left the theater, my first thought was that Saw 3 was one of goriest films I had seen in quite some time. Many critics have stated that this movie was bad and just and excuse for another sequel in time for Halloween. I disagree. The plot had significant twists, and the its development was surprising enough that is not nearly as bad as slasher sequels to Friday the 13th or Nightmare on Elm Street. I enjoyed the flashbacks which gave more information, and I always love the puzzles that are used. Tobin Bell plays this role with a brutal perfection, and the other cast members deliver solid work also. The way the storyline unfolded, I felt this should have been the end to the franchise. I would have respected this more. My main problem is that Saw 3 is a tad bit on the depressing side. Other than that, I thought it was an average mind twisting torture fest filled numerous twists of cruelty around every corner. Just like Terminator 4 is going too far, so will Saw 4 be going over the edge. Final Rating = 7.0/10.0
Running With Scissors - The last film I walked out on was The Scorpion King. Since that time, I have never detested a movie so much that I wanted to leave ten minutes in. This was one of those movies. It is so excruciatingly bad that I felt I have wasted an important segment in my life by enduring this trash. I have been told by many that the memoir is great, and I'm well aware of how famous that is, but despite that, this film will be on my top 10 worst list. I hate everything it tries to be. Around every corner is a new person or action that says "Hey this is weird and quirky, so that makes our movie really good." I loathe films that try so hard gain an audience solely by being overwhelmingly weird. Each performer, with the exception of Alec Baldwin (who still looks so bored) overplays their role a thousand times. My friends and I found ourselves laughing at Annette Benning's character during parts that were supposed to be serious. The running time was about 120 minutes, and I must say, the film ran 119 minutes too long. Director Ryan Murphy, creator of Nip/Tuck has made a film that people in my theater actually walked out of. That says something. Final Rating = 1.0/10.0
Movie Dictionary: Word of the Week
Blaxpoitation - Blaxploitation is a film genre that emerged in the United States in the early 1970s when many exploitation films were made that targeted the urban African American audience; the word itself is a combination of the words "black" and "exploitation". Blaxploitation films starred primarily black actors, and were the first to feature soundtracks of funk and soul music. Although criticized by civil rights groups for their use of stereotypes, they addressed the great and newfound demand for Afrocentric entertainment, and were immensely popular among black audiences. The blaxploitation genre officially began in 1969 with the release of "Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song." This film is also noteworthy in that it was written, directed, produced, and funded by Melvin Van Peebles, an African American. This remained the premise of the early blaxploitation films: film by, for, and about black people.
Almost all blaxploitation films featured exaggerated sexuality and violence. When set in the North or West Coast of the U.S., they tended to take place in the ghetto and dealt with pimps, drug dealers, and hit men. In all these films, it was common to see drugs, the Afro hairstyle, "pimpmobiles," and crooked and corrupt white police officers. When set in the South, the movies most often took place on a plantation and dealt with slavery and miscegenation.
These films were made for an African American audience and often showed negative depictions of Caucasian characters; whites were often cast as crooked and racist police officers or government officials, and the racial slur "honky" was frequently used toward them. Italian Americans were frequently portrayed negatively as drug dealing members of the Mafia whom black characters would often rip off. Anti-Italian epithets such as "dago" and "wop" were used in conjunction with "honky" against these characters.
At the same time, the films also created a negative stereotype of African Americans, the audience they were designed to appeal to, as pimps and drug dealers. This stereotype fit with common white stereotypes about black people, and as a result many called for the end of the Blaxploitation genre. The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, and the Urban League joined together to form the Coalition Against Blaxploitation. Backed by many black film professionals, this group received much media exposure and quickened the death of the genre by the late 1970s.
Though still regarded as racist by many, some film scholars defend the cinematic genre as instrumental in bringing greater screen presence to African Americans. Furthermore, blaxploitation films laid the foundation for future filmmakers to address racial controversies regarding inner city poverty. In the early 1990s, a new wave of acclaimed African-American filmmakers focused on African-American urban life in their films (particularly Spike Lee's "Do the Right Thing" and John Singleton's "Boyz N the Hood", among others).
Based on the Trailer…
Hostel: Part II - If you have read my material for the past 10 months, you know how I feel about this. The first one sucked, and this one will also. Trailer Rating = 3.0/10.0
Happy Feet - This looks kind of cute and funny. The voice cast seems good. It won't be anything terrific though. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0
For Your Consideration - I am not the biggest fan of Christopher Guest's films. They are funny on occasion, but mostly dull. Trailer Rating = 5.5/10.0
Evan Almighty - This sequel doesn't have strong plot. Evan is told to build and ark. Dumb, but Carrell is still funny. Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0
Hot Fuzz - This is the new film from the Shaun of the Dead group. It looks very funny. I'm looking forward to it. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0
Night at the Museum - Ben Stiller's newest adventure looks like it will be a relaxing and enjoyable time this holiday season. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0
Dreamgirls - This is the film getting all the Oscar buzz? It looks good, but not Oscar good. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0
The Good Shepherd - Wow, this looks outstanding. It has a great cast, Deniro directing, and Joe Pesci is back! You can't go wrong. Trailer Rating = 10.0/10.0
Black Christmas - Another remake. They never stop! This teaser really doesn't show a whole lot. This will be terrible. Trailer Rating = 5.0/10.0
Grindhouse - The unique offering from Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez will most likely rock, but the trailer makes it look quite bizarre. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0
Charlotte's Web - This looks ok I guess, but it has the opportunity to be terrible. Talking animals is getting redundant. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0
The Pursuit of Happyness - It feels like a while since we've seen Smith, but this looks pretty decent to me actually. I'll give it a chance. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0
Freedom Writers - I think I already saw this when it was called Dangerous Minds. It's like the exact same movie only with Swank as the teacher. Trailer Rating = 2.0/10.0
Eragon - This looks average, but it seems to be going for that Lord of the Rings crowd. I doubt it will be that good. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0
300 - This is a new film inspired based on another Frank Miller graphic novel. It catches my interest, but perhaps a bit too much CGI. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0
Blood Diamond - From Director Edward Zwick comes another film with Leo Dicaprio. It has good cast, and looks damn good to me. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0
Déjà vu - Director Tony Scott and Denzel looked to have created a gem here. I don't wanna speak too soon, but this looks very good. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0
Norbit - Another movie where Eddie Murphy plays a zillion roles. Don't care. It's not funny anymore. Trailer Rating = 3.0/10.0
A Good Year - This film looks ok, but I'm still not sure. I'm sure it will be something special with Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott together again. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0
Home of the Brave - It is a war film with Samuel L. Jackson, Jessica Biel, and 50 Cent. It doesn't look terrible, but what an odd cast. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0
Bobby - I am definitely looking forward to this after seeing the cast, and the director, but I do have some doubts. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0
Children of Men - Alfonso Cuaron is a unique director, and I think this has a whole lot of potential. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0
Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny - I think Tenacious D is hilarious, but geez this looks horrible. It seems so much like Blues Brothers. Trailer Rating = 3.0/10.0
Apocalypto - Mel Gibson is having his share of problems, but this film looks amazing. I cannot wait to see it, regardless of Mr. Mel's shenanigans. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0
Rocky Balboa - I don't care what people say, this movie looks incredible. A superb trailer. Trailer Rating = 10.0/10.0
TMNT - Since I grew up watching these guys, I will go see this movie no matter what. The trailer is average. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0
Spiderman 3 - Despite my dislike of the second one, this trailer is friggin awesome. The black spiderman suit storyline was always one of my favorites. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0
Transformers - My initial reaction to this teaser was laughter, not like I thought it looked bad, but because it was totally unexpected. A little early to tell, but so far so good. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0
Ghost Rider - This looks decent to me. The special effects might be a downfall, but all in all I'm looking forward to Cage in this role. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0
Casino Royale- I had my doubts, but this Bond film looks to be damn good after looking at this. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0
Forgotten Hotties
Ashley Montana
Yasmine Bleeth
Daisy Fuentes
Cindy Margolis
Nikki Fritz
Lisa Ann
Catherine Bell
The Nitro Girls
Shae Marks
Barbi Twins
Krista Allen
Kathy Ireland
Other Stuff to Read
411 November Roundtable - Matthew Craggs gathers the readers thoughts on the November releases and more!
Fact or Fiction - Matt Craggs gathers the thoughts of JT and Steve Vicious this week!
Furious on Film - Arnold Furious gives you quick rundowns of interesting movies every week.
