Furious on Film 11.16.06: Issue 63

Posted by Arnold Furious on 11.16.2006

This column contains fellatio and incest. Come in!

The aim of this ongoing column was simple. I've been watching films for a long, long time but along the way I've somehow found myself watching some absolute crap on a regular basis. I've seen every episode of A Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th and Halloween. Is there any real need for that? Should I have seen Police Academy: Mission to Moscow? The Blair Witch spoof movie that was just a bunch of Blair Witch spoofs hung together by a terrible TV show called The Woods? I Spit on Your Grave? I'm appalled at my own decisions. So I'm now on a crusade to try and be more adult about my film watching. It's time to spread my wings and watch a wider range of films. The biggest problem I've encountered when taking on this challenge is my choices of viewing material aren't always at the level I'd hope for. There are times when I abandon my high and mighty campaign and instead watch whatever my brain decides I need. This can happen at any time but I'll still try to keep up a turnover of films that are challenging in some way.

Warning – could well contain minor spoilers throughout. Films are rated on a ***** scale. This week we have…

The Brown Bunny, About Schmidt, Domino, Visitor Q

The Brown Bunny (2003)

EXPECTATIONS – Vincent Gallo is a name that worries most people. He has a bad reputation for being a complete dick with a huge ego. He's been in several bands, dresses in a "Bohemian" style and modelled for Calvin Klein. Generally most film fans hate him and loathe the possibility of sitting through one of his films. That said I was a huge, huge fan of Gallo's debut picture Buffalo '66. Co-starring Christina Ricci it's sort of biographical and Gallo did everything on the production including scoring it and starring in it. His attitude and tendency to not get along with anyone has caused him to get a reputation for being a primadonna at times and at other times, an asshole. I didn't rush to see the Brown Bunny because I didn't even realise it was out. It's one of those movies that gets totally buried. It had terrible reviews including Roger Ebert calling it the worst film to ever be submitted to the Cannes Film Festival. It received a fair amount of press, and further hate, due to the fellatio scene that Gallo put near the films climax. To give you an idea of how weird Gallo is here's one of his attributed quotes; "I don't trust or love anyone. Because people are so creepy. Creepy creepy creeps. Creeping around. Creeping here and creeping there. Creeping everywhere. Crippity crappity creepies." Seriously, the more you read about stuff he's said and interviews he's given the harder he is to like. My advice is to just never read any interviews he's ever done.

PLOT – Motorcycle racer Bud Clay (Vincent Gallo) heads back to his home in California in time for his next race. Along the way he meets a few women but can't really get the one he loves out of his mind. His ex-girlfriend Daisy (Chloe Sevigny) is irreplaceable to him so when he returns to California he makes an attempt to win her back.

OPINION – The first hour of Brown Bunny is almost a total write off. There are maybe 10 minutes of that first hour that make a difference to the plot. The rest of it is unbelievably dull. I was pained sitting through it. Having seen the film to it's conclusion I can safely say that the first hour doesn't add enough to the film to make it worthwhile. The vast majority of the first hour is devoid of dialogue as Bud drives his van across the USA. While at times it feels like a Woody Allen style tribute to the States, like Allen often did for New York, the scenes are protracted and repetitive. The film starts out with a five minute shot of the racetrack and a hand held camera following Bud's bike around the circuit. Nothing else is going on at all. It really doesn't achieve anything. It doesn't even just sit there as an excuse for something that the titles go over. My first reaction was "oh God, it's another Manos". In other words, a cheap film that feels half finished and no one is interested in paying for the film to be finished. At times the long driving scenes are unbearable. There's just nothing happening. Sometimes you don't even see the road, just the side of Gallo's head. It's tedious and I can't imagine that anyone in the audience is having a good time. Gallo called Europeans "animals" when they booed and walked out at Cannes but he commits the biggest sin in all of cinema – he bores his audience intentionally. I know Gallo was going for something different here and the last 20 minutes are actually exceptionally good but you can't crawl through an hour of film and expect to keep your audience. I can justify only so much of this approach. If every time he stopped was something meaningful maybe it wouldn't be so bad but once he stops for gas, then he stops to drive his bike around and then he gets his bike checked in LA. None of this is particularly interesting. The bits that later pay off like the picking up of the girl from the gas station or the stop off at Daisy's parents house are simply not enough to justify an hour of film. When the plot finally gets going it's great. Before I get into the ending and the controversy there's the little matter of the title. The Brown Bunny? What the hell does that mean? I've watched the film and it makes no sense. He's said in interviews that he really likes the colour brown, more so than pink, which I just figured was him hinting at being gay. And he was in a band called Bunny. That's all I got. Of course Daisy owned a brown bunny, which Gallo specifically refers to as a "bunny" when the entire Western world uses the term "rabbit" as soon as they're into the adult phase of their life. Is that an important part of the film though? Clearly Vincent thought so because that's the title and there are hints when he enters the pet shop that he's trying to figure out how long it's been since he last saw Daisy. Aw fuck it, I guess there are bits and pieces that relate to the title but it's quite misleading and isn't going to help with sales. Neither is hiring Winona Ryder and Kirsten Dunst and then firing them again. What gets me is the estimated budget of the Brown Bunny was $10M. What the fuck did he spend that on? Film would be my guess. It looked like he'd filmed half the United States. The film on release made less than half a million. Well under. But I don't think Gallo really cares about that. He certainly gave people a reason to watch. His inclusion of a pornographic scene, a genuine one, near the films end featured Chloe Sevigny sucking his cock. Honest to God fellatio. Quite how he got that past the censors I'll never know. Of course seeing that part of the film and the conclusion, which I thoroughly enjoyed as Sevigny was terrific, requires sitting through the monotonous opening hour. I won't spoil the ending for anyone who hasn't seen it because I feel the majority of you haven't seen this film but it's possibly worth the wait. My advice would be to generally go to the fast forward button every time Gallo goes driving. Whether it's on his bike at the start or in his van throughout the rest of the opening hour. Just skip it. What's left is actually a decent film. Of course the long driving sequences kill the drama. Buffalo '66 is way better.

BEST BIT – Oh gee, would it be Chloe Sevigny's hardcore porn debut? I guess it probably would. Although the explanation that follows is almost as good.

RATING - *1/2. The opening hour kills this for me. Although as a short film the last twenty minutes is fantastic. My advice, if you want it, is get it on rental and skip to the end. It's actually quite a worthwhile watch that way. While some of the earlier scenes tie in nicely when the reveals come at the end there's not enough in the first hour to make it worth sitting through completely.

About Schmidt (2002)

EXPECTATIONS – I skipped this the first time I had the chance to see it. From the trailer it honestly looked too boring for me to get into. What changed my mind was watching Alexander Payne's follow up film Sideways, which is one of my favourite films of the past decade, and relating to it on several levels. He also did Election, which I thought was quite good. The only thing holding me back was the trailer, which I feel does About Schmidt no favours at all. Although there is some of the same humour of Sideways coming across there it just doesn't quite hit the same highs. Of course a big reason why I felt inclined to watch it anyway was the presence of Jack Nicholson. Where do you even start when trying to sum up Nicholson's career? He's the man who starred in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, the Shining, Easy Rider, Chinatown, Batman, A Few Good Men, the Witches of Eastwick, Prizzi's Honor, The Last Detail and recently the Departed. He's had an epic career with several performances of unparalleled brilliance. He's won three Oscars. Amazingly only one of the films I mentioned was one of the three: Cuckoos Nest. He also won for Terms of Endearment and As Good As It Gets. He was nominated the 12th time for About Schmidt. AFI gave him the lifetime achievement award back in 1994. Well AFI, he ain't done yet!

PLOT – Warren Schmidt (Jack Nicholson) is about to enjoy his retirement when his wife dies leaving him with only his daughter Jeannie (Hope Davis) who is planning her wedding. When Warren finds he can't control her life he realises his is almost gone. The film follows Warren as he travels across the country in his Winnebago writing frequent letters to a child he sponsors in Africa. His aim eventually is to get to his daughter's wedding and scupper it because he doesn't think that her choice of husband Randall (Dermot Mulroney) is right.

OPINION – About Schmidt is quite a rewarding film. I don't think it was good timing watching this right after the lengthy disappointment of the Brown Bunny though. About Schmidt seemed to drag somewhat as a result. The pacing isn't painfully slow in About Schmidt though it's deliberate. And it's deliberate to show us that Schmidt has been living this way for his entire life. And now without his job and his wife he feels life has passed him by. Nicholson himself is tremendous. While the script is full of subtlety it wouldn't work without Jack. A lesser actor wouldn't be able to pull off a Warren Schmidt. Jack finally looks old in this role too. Frequently sporting bad hair days and old man clothes. Alexander Payne is always looking to tell more of a story than the one you're seeing though. The second story is found in the eyes and the unspoken memories of his actors. In Sideways this was achieved in dramatic style by Paul Giamati, here it's Jack Nicholson and to a lesser extent Hope Davis. She understands her father's objections but never says that. She resents certain things he does without ever telling him. It's a film full of subtle moments that aren't there unless you go and look for them. I almost missed what a good film About Schmidt was because of the Brown Bunny. Vincent Gallo almost managed to kill two films with his boring driving sequences. Because there are plenty of driving sequences in About Schmidt. Often used in the same way. Only Jack Nicholson is an infinitely better actor than Vincent Gallo though so he's able to convey emotions in a glance. Or years of storyline in the way he's driving. Gallo simply doesn't have that…yet. Bill Murray has the same skills as Nicholson as he was able to get his emotions over in mere looks during Broken Flowers. I've watched an awful lot of subtle films lately. The big difference that About Schmidt has to Broken Flowers though is that while Jarmusch made an effort to make his characters likeable there's no such effort here. While Schmidt is almost sympathetic as he's lost almost everything the rest of the cast of characters are thoroughly unlikeable. Jeannie is too sudden to turn on her father after he loses his wife and has a serious lack of understanding. She's very selfish and doesn't seem to care about what her father thinks. It seems like he's not been involved in her life much but he's still her father and she doesn't seem to care. Randall is even worse. His false sentimentality regarding Mrs Schmidt's death where he leads the family in prayer was the big laugh out loud moment for me. I don't want him to be happy. Or Jeannie. Or any of Randall's freak show family, which does include an on form Kathy Bates even if she's playing a character that comes across as a lazy, hateful new age bitch. The stacking of the odds against Warren doesn't make him any more sympathetic though. It just makes me dislike everyone in the film.

BEST BIT – Warren getting high on painkillers. While everyone else enjoys a toast to the new couple at a rib joint Warren sits there in the corner moving his head around so a non existent song. Jack at his absolute best.

RATING - **3/4. Something didn't click for me. Watching it on the back of the Brown Bunny probably didn't help. I was touched by Jack's performance and I thought this was another solid effort from Alexander Payne although it's nowhere near his work on Sideways. But that film had a much better overall cast who really understood the script. I get the feeling some of About Schmidt's actors missed the point a little. I thought I'd get more out of the film in another 20 or 30 years when I'm more worldly wise but neither of my parents liked it and they're in their 60's. Maybe they just couldn't relate to Warren's horrible offspring when they have the joy of having me as a son.

Domino (2005)

EXPECTATIONS – Tony Scott doing an action movie, eh? This is the man who brought the world Top Gun (which I loathe incidentally), True Romance, Enemy of the State, Man on Fire, Crimson Tide and the Last Boy Scout. Chances are he knows what he's doing. Scott has had his share of misfires though like the tedious Spy Game, The Fan and Days of Thunder. I guess the last one depends on whether you love NASCAR or not. I really don't. Spy Game has the honour of being the last film I couldn't finish watching. Although to be fair it's because I fell asleep but I figure that's the fault of the film not me. If I can stay awake through the Brown Bunny then I should be able to make it through anything. Star of Domino is Keira Knightley. She's quickly gaining a reputation as a Hollywood star without having any of the attitude that normally comes with that. She's already starred in two Pirates of the Caribbean movies, Love Actually, King Arthur and Pride and Prejudice. Last thing I saw her in was the Jacket, which was ok. I felt she came off as the star of that particular film as well eclipsing a mumbling Adrien Brody.

PLOT – A biography of the life of Domino Harvey (Keira Knightley) who was a real life bounty hunter from England who moved to the States and rejected a career as a model to choose her unusual method of earning a wage. While it's generally biographical it veers off that in order to create some excitement. Domino's boss Claremont Williams III (Delroy Lindo) sends his team of bounty hunters after a group of mob kids who he suspects robbed an armoured car. Soon Domino is in the middle of a world of trouble surrounded by the mob, the feds, some Miike-esque limb removal and a nutball TV producer (Christopher Walken) who is making a reality TV show about her.

OPINION – The most important thing that's right with Domino was the choice of Mickey Rourke to play Domino's mentor figure Ed. This allows Keira to slowly work her way into her role as a bounty hunter without needing to dominate screen time. It lets the character slowly build up to what she becomes, which I figure is probably quite true to real life. As soon as her character is sufficiently developed the Domino that stars in this film begins to show. Although we start off by seeing that sublimely confident Domino as she's interviewed by Lucy Liu. This interview ties together the whole film as it takes a somewhat non linear approach to tell the story that got Domino into trouble combined with the story of how she became a bounty hunter in the first place. So we start out with short range flashbacks before Liu's character starts digging into Domino's past where we do all the character building. Domino, Ed, Choco (Edgar Martinez) and Claremont. Once they've established what's going on it's time to delve into the adventure that ties all this together. A complex plot allows the viewer to be torn between several different realities of the situation at hand. Domino tells us what she thinks has happened while we see that play out on screen. Like any film shot in this fashion it's important to remember who's telling the story. While it's not there to set up a Kaiser Soze finish it is there to allow Domino to figure out what happened as we do. The problem that the film ‘Domino' suffers from is trying to cram two films into its run time. The film about how Domino became a bounty hunter complete with her background is around three quarters of a film by itself. Then the actual escapade that follows is the best part of a film as well. When I first saw the run time on what appeared to be a straightforward actioner as over 2 hours I was quite surprised. Now I'm surprised the film wasn't even longer. In the end Tony Scott just tries to squeeze way too much stuff into the film. It makes it hard to remember who's who and what's going on. Then presenting it in such a non linear fashion may be cool but it just adds to the confusion. But then what should I expect from Tony Scott? He has a habit of quick cuts and flashy MTV style editing. While his previous few films it felt like he moved away from that just slightly here he's right back to his best/worst (depending on your perspective). The style of the film makes it harder to care about some of the characters. Choco, for example, is supposed to be quite sympathetic but he's a brute of a man. Deliberately talking in Spanish because he thinks it's cool even though no one understands him and prone to acts of extreme violence with little justification for them. Just because he has a crush on Domino I'm then meant to feel sorry for him? That doesn't wash with me. The plot is riddled with holes anyway but what do you expect from something deliberately aimed at an MTV audience? The real Domino Harvey died of an accidental pain killers overdose before getting the chance to comment on the film. Who knows if she'd have enjoyed it. While it's exciting at times it was a bad idea to try and fit this much into 2 hours AND not do it with a reasonable level of coherence. A few decent turns from Mickey Rourke, Keira Knightley and Christopher Walken improve matters slightly but not enough.

BEST BIT – Mena Suvari, in a relatively small part of a secretary, reminds Domino's crew that the TV producer they're meeting with (Walken) is a little unusual. She suggests they "speak in short sentences because he has the attention span of a ferret on crystal meth".

RATING - **1/2. It's easy to see why Domino was a total bomb. The storyline is overly complex and the style is overly MTV. It's a hideous clash of the two where you immediately rule out half your audience by doing the exact opposite of what these two totally difference audiences like. Your MTV crowd get put off by the plot, which jumps all over the place, while the film connoisseur is sick of seeing lots of flashy jump cuts. No one wins. So a movie with a $50M budget takes a fifth of that in its cinematic run and everyone involved gets hurt in the process. Scott must be worried after Spy Game failed to get its budget back and Man on Fire crept over that figure. Maybe it's time to either do a full blown Enemy of the State kind of picture again or stop blowing these high mid range budgets on projects that are doomed to failure due to their lack of audience. Spend less to make more. Speaking of which he just blew $80M on Déjà vu.

Visitor Q (2001)

EXPECTATIONS – We all know how I feel about Takashi Miike. His films have been a mainstay during the run on Furious on Film. We've had our highs (Dead or Alive, Ichi the Killer, Rainy Dog, Ley Lines etc) and our lows (Shinjuku Triad Society, Audition). It's been one hell of a ride and with Miike you never know what you'll stumble onto next. I checked out the voting on IMDB.com to see what his most popular film was that I'd not seen. It came up with this one – Visitor Q. Behind Audition and Ichi the Killer it's the most viewed Miike film in the West. Ok, time to give it a shot then.

PLOT – A failed TV producer decides to make a documentary about bullying of youths focusing on his own son without telling him. His son is pretty fucked up anyway and routinely beats his own mother. Who in turn is a heroin addict and a prostitute. To complete the family we have the daughter who's moved away from home. The opening scene is the father having sex with her for money. If you think you've seen some fucked up films you ain't seen nothing yet.

OPINION – Wow. Just when you think Miike can't do anything more disturbing than his little throwaway moments of taboo sex and violence he takes his usual quirks out of a Yakuza picture and just dumps them in a normal household. Normal from the outside but once you get to know this family you're in for a wild ride. The film makes no attempt to adhere to any kind of film laws and rules. One of the characters Q (the titular visitor) just appears to live in their house with no explanation of who he is. In one scene the father even questions what he's doing there but quickly forgets about it because he has the chance to film some kids throwing fireworks through the window as part of his documentary. All this while his son cowers under a desk terrified for his own life. There's no way I can compare this to any other film I've ever seen. When it had finished, I stopped the DVD and said "what the fuck was that?" It's shot on really poor quality film for some reason and looks like a TV show. The blurb on the DVD box calls it "the story of a dysfunctional Japanese family". Dysfunctional ain't the word! By the end of the film the family have managed to murder more than a few people before some kind of sick reunion suckling at the mother's breasts. I don't feel there's anyway to accurately describe Visitor Q. It's just so…out there. Earlier I wondered out loud how on Earth the Brown Bunny ever got released. The same could be said of this. You don't get many films dealing with incest, prostitution, murder, necrophilia, heroin addition, lactating and bullying in a vaguely comical fashion. It just doesn't happen. Unless you're Takashi Miike. You have to give it up to him really. I don't think there's anyone else who'd have the sheer gall to make this.

BEST BIT – The father murders his co-worker and then gets excited while preparing to chop her body up and has sex with it only for rigour mortis to set in. Hilarity ensues.

RATING - ***. There's almost no way to rate this. I've gone for something in the middle because the film has such amazing shock value that it's almost must see stuff but at the same time it's really not very good. It's just Miike seeing how far he can push the envelope. Seeing how much foreign audiences will take before switching off. Weird how the stuff that Miike is really famous for (Audition, Ichi, Visitor Q) is invariably his dumbed down silliest work best viewed for the shock factor alone. His actual masterpieces seem to get overlooked.

ELSEWHERE –

Chad Webb has the Big Screen Bulletin. Amongst other things Chad pays tribute to Jack Palance this week. He'll be missed.

George Sirois makes it to column 100 and decides to discuss a movie that everyone seems to like in 61*. I'm a baseball fan and I loved it. He also shares the love for his fellow writers at the end. Aww. And yeah George, I like the new logo. Spiffy.

Scotty Flamingo has the audacity to aim his Bullseye at Batman this week. And damn it if he didn't make some good points. I was getting ready to rant when I read the title/teaser.

Will Helm talks about It's Pat. Good lord. Arguably one of the worst films ever made. Certainly a film I'm amazed I watched all the way through. Fucking Julia Sweeney. No wonder she's disappeared off the comedy radar.

Leonard Hayhurst has Ask 411 Movies. No, I'm not adding pictures as well. Deal with it.

Superbrawl V - because I can plug my video reviews because it's my column. The WCW ones are coming at quite a pace. I have four Clash of the Champions shows in the system as well as four PPV's from 1995/1996. More to come on as well. I still have a huge stack of tapes almost as high as my monitor with three PPV's on each.

NEXT – Tora! Tora! Tora! (completing the trio of 70's war epics after Patton & MASH), Castle of Cagliostro, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and more.