Misunderstood Masterpieces: Body Double

Posted by Will Helm on 11.28.2006

…or, I Wish Someone Replaced This Movie with Another

Even though this analogy might be a stretch, Brian De Palma is like the exact opposite of Kevin Smith. The latter, even by his own admission, is a terrible director but a gifted and realistic screenwriter. De Palma, on the other hand, is a near-legendary director, crafting such notable films as Scarface and The Untouchables, among others. His writing talent, however . . . leaves a little to be desired. And that's putting it mildly. Past columns provide evidence of this fact; De Palma, after all, penned prior Misunderstood Masterpieces Femme Fatale – which features my favorite subtitling typo of all time – and the grossly underrated – but still terribly convoluted – Phantom of the Paradise.

Unsurprisingly, there are other Brian De Palma works that can be studied herein. One such film is the 1984 "erotic thriller" – which is also what Femme Fatale billed itself as . . . and it wasn't a "Skinemax" movie, either – Body Double. Originally intended by De Palma to toe the line between standard and adult cinema – one rumor is that De Palma wanted the film's sex scenes to be real rather than simulated – Body Double instead sets a high water mark when it comes to convoluted plots, not surprising considering the De Palma track record before and since. At one time a fixture in heavy HBO rotation, Body Double has since faded into some obscurity. Is that truly proper for a film of this caliber . . . or can it just be another Misunderstood Masterpiece? Let's find out!

At first, the film actually tricks me into thinking that it's not what it appears to be as the credits roll in the form of a low-budget horror flick. Ooh . . . tricky, Mr. De Palma; very tricky. In a very fake cemetery, there's a punk vampire – with a plethora of makeup on – lying in restful slumber . . . until he freaks out and goes catatonic! Well, the vampire doesn't, but the man playing him, Jake Scully (Craig Wasson . . . who looks oddly like Bill Maher) as he is, apparently, claustrophobic. To Jake's luck, director Dennis Franz is on hand to comfort him in his time of need, luckily not conjugally. Dennis Franz, perhaps not happy to have a mentally ill star of his little low-budget flick, sends Jake home for the day . . . which is probably just code for "you're fired," it's just that Jake doesn't know it yet.

Outside the studio, Jake walks back to his car and mopes all the way. Unhealthily, he attempts to drown his sorrows in a pair of hot dogs from a very phallic hot dog stand – Los Angeles' infamous "Tail o' the Pup." On the way to his apartment, Jake drives in front of a blue screen for no particular reason. I guess the producers wanted to save money on gas. Back at his apartment, Jake finds his girlfriend cheating on him . . . and she looks like she's enjoying it too. At least she had the decency to stop riding the guy when she saw Jake standing in the doorway. Jake, unsurprisingly, heads over to the local bar where he falls off the wagon and hits the bottle on his way down. Jake then snaps at the bartender but the bartender is oddly forgiving; I think he understands the situation.

That night, Jake crashes at the oddly forgiving bartender's place but, unsurprisingly – as his mind must be working overtime, he can't sleep so he looks out over a blue L.A. Seriously . . . L.A. is blue. Smurf blue. The next day, Jake goes to an audition where he meets some chums of his and then some guy at the audition interviews him about past roles and such. After a slew of other auditions, Jake heads over to an acting class where the drama coach massages him for no particular reason. Ah . . . so that's how actors find their motivation: molestation! Jake, through the drama coaches' helpful violation, reveals the origins of his claustrophobia – ah, there's nothing like Freudian regression as a drama technique – and then traps himself in a paradox in the process. The drama coach scolds Jake for his philosophical conundrum, so Jake has a breakdown – or is it a breakthrough? – and some guy (Gregg Henry) – who was also at the earlier auditions – interrupts and defends Jake from the violation of his psyche.

After the workshop, the guy and Jake leave together and they head over to the local bar, where the guy ogles a barmaid and Jake tells him all about his failed relationships. The guy, in order to lift Jake's spirits – in addition to the alcohol, cracks jokes about Jake's situation and Jake, to his credit, actually cheers up . . . instead of punching the guy out for mocking him. After some heterosexual male bonding, the guy – out of the blue . . . L.A. – offers Jake a place to hang out for a bit and Jake agrees to the proposition.

Afterward, Jake and the guy visit the sweet pad and the guy – who's house-sitting the place for someone else and needs Jake to house-sit in turn – tells Jake that his only duty is just to water the plants in the place. The guy, unfortunately and mysteriously, has to leave for a gig in Seattle soon so he and Jake toast Hollywood before he departs. Oddly, the guy, who was only moments before in a rush, finds the time to show Jake one of the benefits of the place: the telescope by the window which is pointed directly at the scantly clad HOT CHICK neighbor across the street . . . who puts on an "unwitting" show for the two gentlemen in her bedroom. I think she's one of those exhibitionists or something. Jake, unsurprisingly, is intrigued by the impromptu show; I guess that's a new rule to real estate: location, location, half-naked HOT CHICK neighbors.

After the guy finally leaves for Seattle, Jake watches the HOT CHICK neighbor a bit more and then he sees a guy come into her room, mess with her safe – which sound much dirtier than it is in this context, and slap her around a bit. The next day, Jake gets fired from his vampire gig – big shock there; Dennis Franz is a heartless bastard – so he visits Dennis Franz for an explanation and an argument. Back at the house, Jake waters the plants and then he watches the neighbor's performance again . . . and then he watches a creepy welder watching the neighbor. Dum-dum-DUM!

The next day, Jake goes shopping for groceries but, on the way home through the blue screen L.A. – not the blue L.A., he's held up by a pair of clumsy landscapers. Now if they weren't so clumsy like that, the government wouldn't want to throw them out of the country . . . or call them "guest workers." Meanwhile, conveniently, the HOT CHICK neighbor (Deborah Shelton) leaves her directly adjacent driveway and heads off to points unknown. Jake watches, filled with curiosity, as some guy follows the neighbor and then Jake, feeling heroic, scolds the clumsy landscapers and follows the guy who's following the neighbor. Yes, this is already convoluted. Don't blame me. Jake finally finds the HOT CHICK neighbor on the phone at the local mall and he eavesdrops on her conversation. Meanwhile, the HOT CHICK neighbor's stalker – who apparently happens to be the creepy welder – takes the elevator! Feel the suspense!

While the creepy welder runs to and fro, Jake follows the HOT CHICK neighbor a little too closely around the mall . . . and then he ends up watching her shop for underwear. While Jake watches intently – after all, the HOT CHICK neighbor did leave the changing-room curtain ajar . . . she is an exhibitionist, the Russian clerk in the store calls security, who shows up to shoo Jake away. Jake then spies the creepy welder watching the HOT CHICK neighbor so Jake runs around in circles until he finally gets on an elevator with the HOT CHICK neighbor and he instantaneously gets an attack of claustrophobia. The creepy welder, meanwhile, stands outside the elevator at one stop and laughs at Jake. The nerve of him!

The HOT CHICK neighbor, with Jake in tow, goes down to the garage, where she throws out her new underwear for no particular reason. Jake, like any red-blooded American male, watches the HOT CHICK neighbor leave the garage and he promptly steals her underwear. Jake then follows the HOT CHICK neighbor to a motel at the beach where Jake momentarily loses track of her. He finally sees the HOT CHICK neighbor on a balcony where he spies on her and eavesdrops on another conversation that doesn't make much sense out of context. Then, down the beach a bit, the creepy welder shows up simultaneously with the HOT CHICK neighbor wandering down to the beach for no particular reason!

On the beach, Jake finally confronts the HOT CHICK neighbor to let her know there's someone following her just as she absentmindedly holds out her purse for the creepy welder to steal! Jake, once again feeling the hero, chases the creepy welder until the creepy welder takes refuge in a long, Freudian tunnel. While Jake freaks out, the creepy welder rummages through the HOT CHICK neighbor's purse and then runs off while impersonating a pterodactyl. No, really. Jake, all alone, musters the courage to find the HOT CHICK neighbor's driver's license, so now – at least – he knows her name: Gloria. Unfortunately, he doesn't have her number . . . but it is spelled "G-L-O-R-I-A." Van Morrison would be proud; Laura Branigan, not so much. Gloria, the HOT CHICK neighbor, then arrives to help Jake out of the tunnel and find out what's going on but Jake responds by making out with her. Gloria digs it for a bit and then she runs off, embarrassed. Now she's a prude? Geez . . . talk about mixed messages.

That night, Jake watches Gloria from the house again and, this time, he sees the police escort her home. Meanwhile, the guy calls Jake to check in for a second and then, over at Gloria's house, the creepy welder is there waiting for her! Apparently, the creepy welder is intent on robbing Gloria's safe – while armed with a giant drill . . . which is so very Freudian – so Jake calls Gloria and attempts to warn her of the creepy welder's intent. Unfortunately, he's a moment too late as the creepy welder tries to strangle Gloria; luckily, she escapes his clutches by knocking him out with the phone receiver. While Gloria fends off the creepy welder, Jake runs out of his house and onto the street, where he enlists the aid of two random joggers. Back at Gloria's, the now revived creepy welder gives Gloria a little poke with the giant drill – I think he's just teasing her before he gives her the whole thing . . . chicks love that – but, before he can finish the deed, the plug comes loose. Maybe he should've thought of baseball. Jake finally reaches the house and breaks in and he's attacked by a giant dog once inside. Meanwhile, upstairs, Gloria finally gets the drill and it just kills her . . . just in the literal sense, not the Shakespearean sense. The creepy welder, now satisfied with his handiwork, gets away.

In the aftermath of the bloody scene, the cops arrive on the scene and the investigating detective (Guy Boyd) lets Jake know that he doesn't like him very much. In fact, the detective thinks of Jake as a low-life, panty-sniffing pervert. Oddly, the detective's impression isn't too far from the truth so I guess it's not really that big a deal. The detective and Jake, in the guise of an interview, argue about nothing in particular and then the detective sends Jake home . . . probably waiting for him to do something stupid and incriminate himself.

Back at the pad, Jake trashes the place and then he watches a talk show about porn for no particular reason. See, Jake; that's exactly what the detective was talking about! Conveniently, the porn talk show shows a clip of a new movie featuring notable starlet Holly Body (Melanie Griffith) . . . and she's doing the HOT CHICK neighbor dance! Dum-dum-DUM! Sometime later, Jake goes to his local video store and rents that particular adult film just to make sure. His curiosity piqued by the proof he has, Jake then calls the porn company and he goes there for an audition.

After bonding with – and stripping for – the producer, Jake is cast in a new film . . . featuring Frankie Goes to Hollywood! Whoa . . . weirdest cameo ever. Even though it is a song about teh butt$eXX0rz. Anyway, after Jake encounters Frankie Goes to Hollywood for no particular reason, he then visits Holly Body in a women's lavatory and they trade stereotypically hackneyed dialogue and then make out. Well, at least it does explain why the writing is so bad in porn; it's motivation to get to the action. While Holly gets to work, Jake hallucinates that he's actually making out with Gloria. Ah . . . so not only is he a panty-sniffing pervert, he's also a necrophiliac. Interesting. Holly and Jake, then, as per their particular idiom, get it on.

After the shoot, Jake turns into a stereotypical porn star and he its on Holly in real life. Over the course of their conversation, Jake reveals that he's actually a groupie of Holly's and he even pitches a movie role for her. Holly, being a remarkably astute business woman, lays down some ground rules for starring in Jake's film and then, after their business meeting, they run into a snooty acquaintance of Jake's and Holly gives her the number of a "good producer." Oh, porn humor; there's nothing like it.

Jake and Holly then retire to Jake's pad where Holly, instinctively, strips down for Jake. Jake, spoiling the mood, elects to tell Holly about the reasons behind his obsession with her and, after a bit of convoluted psychology, Jake finally discovers that Holly was actually the dancing HOT CHICK neighbor in disguise! Jake, finally sensing that he's getting to the bottom of everything, takes a call from the guy and, after Holly listens in on the conversation, she reveals that the guy hired her to perform! Jake, in a moment of epiphany, recounts the entire plot of the film for Holly; meanwhile, the guy isn't actually in Seattle . . . he's across the street in Gloria's house! Dum-dum-DUM! Holly, unhappy with the plot – join the club, toots – leaves Jake in a huff and hitchhikes out on the street below.

Moments later, Jake calls the cynical detective and he goes over the entire plot again but, this time, Jake realizes that the guy was Gloria's husband and Jake was his patsy all along. All he needed were two halves of coconut and the role would be complete. Meanwhile, out on the street, Holly yells at two speeding cars which, somehow, causes them to crash in a fiery wreck moments later. Whoa . . . superpowers. That's a new twist. Luckily for Holly, before she can cause any more bloodshed, the creepy welder arrives on the scene to pick her up . . . and then, due to a convoluted series of events, Jake witnesses the creepy welder knocking out Holly! Dum-dum-DUMB!

Jake, once again the hero, beats up a cop and then chases the creepy welder through the streets of Los Angeles. Somehow, the chase ends at a reservoir, where the creepy welder is digging a grave for Holly. She, luckily, wakes up from her unconsciousness while Jake watches from the wings, waiting for his next move. That last sentence was sponsored by the letter "w." Meanwhile, in the creepy welder's truck, the giant dog that attacked Jake earlier in the film freaks out, alerting the creepy welder to Jake's presence.

Somehow, Jake and the creepy welder end up fighting in the grave together, which is all well and good until Jake's claustrophobia kicks in! Before the catatonia takes hold, Jake pulls off the creepy welder's face . . . and it's the guy! Wow . . . big shock. Especially since the creepy welder looked like a version of the guy with bad skin, a tan, bad teeth, and a black ponytail all along. Jake finally goes catatonic and the guy mocks him while attempting to bury him. Somehow, Dennis Franz shows up to rescue Jake . . . on a film set! Whoa . . . so it's all in Jake's head? Rip-off! Jake then argues with Dennis Franz and he gets back into the grave where, suddenly, he starts fighting the guy again! OK . . . so it being all in his head is all in his head now? I'm so confused. For no particular reason other than to end the movie, the giant dog attacks the guy and they both fall to their demise in the reservoir. Holly, perhaps still not understanding exactly what's been going on, freaks out at Jake for no reason, so Jake, in time, just goes back to work for Dennis Franz . . . and Holly is there with him. Presumably, they both live happily ever after.

I can only suppose that the main conceit behind Body Double is the question "What if Sigmund Freud wrote a film noir?" For all intents and purposes, that is exactly how this movie seems. There's the over-arching mystery plot but, as colorful touches to that, there's tons of Freudian symbolism, like the claustrophobia, the tunnel, the giant drill, hallucinations, and so on and so forth. Unfortunately, in trying to be profound, Body Double, much to its discredit, ends up taking itself far too seriously and, in turn, becomes laughable at times, existing in a state of controlled lunacy and tripping over its own convoluted plot. Everything seems to make sense but it can't really be explained WHY it make sense. Of course, whenever a movie leaves the viewer with more questions than answers, that means it must be a Misunderstood Masterpiece.

Join me next week as I begin an entire month of the worst movies of 2006 with a star of Buffy embarrassing herself needlessly. See you then!