411 Movies Roundtable: December 2006
Posted by Matthew Craggs on 12.01.2006
A look back at November and a look ahead at a Joyous December with the 411 Movies Staff.
Greetings, one and all, and welcome to the 411 Movies December roundtable.
The Month That Was
Scotty Flamingo
Biggest Winner of the Month: Sacha Baron Cohen - Borat is a huge hit and the guy was everywhere. Plus he has already sold the rights for a film version of his Bruno character for $60 mil.
Biggest Loser of the Month: Michael Richards by a mile. This is even worse than Mel Gibson's incident because it was on tape and on the internet within 48 hours and he was completely sober. I don't see him recovering from this. His appology on Letterman was one of the most ackward things I've ever seen.
Biggest Movie News of the Month: Peter Jackson off of The Hobbit. Basically, New Line tried screwing Jackson out of money from the LotR films and he sued for his share. It wasn't even a big lawsuit, just something that he wanted a mediator or arbitrator to work out and get his people their rightful cut. So that is why The Hobbit has been put off. Now New Line is being a buch of cheap bastards and not only won't settle with Jackson, but are also getting someone else to do the Hobbit so they can make more money.
Of course a Rings movie without Jackson would be like doing a Caddyshack sequel without Bill Murray or Rodney Dangerfield...
Waitaminute...
Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month: Rocky Balboa. I am a huge Rocky mark. I love all of the films except for 5.
Classic Movie of the Month: A Christmas Story. I will watch it at least 3 times during the annual TBS marathon.
Movie Quote of the Month: "Son's of bitches! Bumpes's!" -The Old Man after having his turkey eaten by his redneck neighbor's dogs. From A Christmas Story.
Arnold Furious
Biggest Winner of the Month: Daniel Craig. The choice of Craig to be Bond was slated by many before they'd even seen him perform in the part. Some so called "die hard" fans objected to his hair colour and fear of heights. I think what irritates me most about these so called fans is that they won't even give a film a chance. Most of them probably hadn't seen Craig in such films as Enduring Love and Munich. He's a capable actor and has already won over the critics. Here's hoping danielcraigisnotbond.com gets quickly forgotten and everyone moves forward with a somewhat more positive attitude. Hell, if I can watch Aliens Vs Predator with an open mind you Brosnan marks can shut the fuck up.
Biggest Loser of the Month: Michael Richards. I never really cared much for Seinfeld now Richards is in hot water for repeatedly shouting "nigger" at a black heckler. Hey, racism is fine in comedy as long as it's funny. Check out Blazing Saddles. Tremendously racist, tremendously funny. Michael Richards on the other hand – tremendously racist, tremendously unfunny. The way he just sort of faded away at the end of the set mumbling that "there are still some words" was worrying. The man has clearly lost his mind.
Biggest Movie News of the Month: The ongoing rumours regarding the Hobbit. Seeing as it isn't set to appear in cinema's until 2009 I'm sure they'll have time to sort it out. At present the whole ‘will he, won't he' debate over Peter Jackson's involvement is probably down to the studio not wanting to pay him a lot of money for what should be a hit film regardless. Before we all go completely nuts over it, like certain Bond fans, I reckon we sit back and watch it eventually be given to Jackson anyway or someone equally capable.
Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month: After a little debate I'm going with Blood Diamond. Djimon Hounsou is usually brilliant in everything. DiCaprio has improved steadily since being involved so frequently with Martin Scorsese (and Steven Spielberg for that matter). Now he's working with Glory/Last Samurai helmsman Ed Zwick. Should be good.
Recommended DVD Release of the Month: Superman Returns. I haven't seen it yet but the rave reviews would suggest it's on a par with other Bryan Singer efforts with the X-Men franchise and whatnot. He seems to be able to do a solid job with a blockbuster. He can tell a story without ruining his characters for shock.
Classic Movie of the Month: My Cousin Vinny. I love this film. I picked it up on DVD a few weeks back on the cheap. Nice to see Joe Pesci playing against the Goodfellas ideal of what he is. Generally I don't like court room films either. Apart from a Few Good Men and, if it counts, 12 Angry Men. So this must have done something right. Bags of swearing and inappropriate behaviour to go with some fine performances. My favourite remains Judge Haller (Fred Gwynn – Herman Munster) with his barracking of Pesci's character and failure to understand his New Yoik accent.
Movie Quote of the Month: From "My Cousin Vinny". The titular Vinny (Pesci) steps up to make his opening statement after a lengthy Southern diatribe from his opposite number (Lane Smith – probably best known as Perry White in Lois & Clark). He clearly looks the worst for wear after not sleeping well and has to be woken to make his opening statement. He strolls over to the jury clearly debating a complex and lucid argument to set his stall out and win the case. He opens his mouth – "Everything that guy just said is bullshit... Thank you". His remarks are stricken from the record.
Ben Moser
Biggest Winner of the Month: Of course it's Cohen. Borat got cut from a lot of screens before it even opened and still managed #1 at the box office while piling up accolades and making non-believers such as myself eat their words. Stupid lawsuits will only serve to keep the movie fresh in people's minds and it just might make people pick up some of those Ali G DVD's to see if Cohen really is that good.
Biggest Loser of the Month: Federline, your meal ticket is gone. Once you release the sex tape, I give you 4 months tops before people forget about you. Unless some other celebrity goes slumming it for a man. Then your name will become a verb. For example: "Sarah Chalke was really Federlining it up when she married Ben Moser."
Biggest Movie News of the Month: Casino Royale getting rave reviews. This movie was going to determine the direction of a 21-film franchise, and people are loving what's been done. Realistic, gritty Bond wins out over flawless Bond with an invisible car. Don't think that every action movie made in the next couple of years won't take serious notice.
Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month: I'm more than a little afraid of what Rocky Balboa will be. But I still have to see. I just. Have. To. See.
Recommended DVD Release of the Month: I missed out on Little Miss Sunshine when it theaters. This is a mistake I plan to fix when the DVD is released. But if you want a recommendation for something I did watch and really enjoy, go purchase The Descent and hope, like I do, that they include the original ending I hear is so much better.
Classic Movie of the Month: How about National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation? It's Christmasy enough, and usually overlooked. However, it's easily just as funny as the first two flicks about the Griswold family. Enjoy it.
Movie Quote of the Month: "And the rockets' red glare, The bombs bursting in air..." -Aunt Bethany, Mae Questel, while watching the Christmas decorations blow up.
George H. Sirois
Biggest Winner of the Month: Penguins! Just when you thought they were on the verge of over-exposure, there they are waddling around in yet another mountain of cash! Disney's one second away from dropping Mickey off a cliff and signing Oswald Cobblepot from DC Comics to be their new mascot, just to get in on the action.
Biggest Loser of the Month: Kevney or Brevin or whatever cutesy dumbass name the media tried to slap on Britney and Kevin. I'd say the two of them win the Biggest Loser of the Year award on top of it. Kevin is living proof that the male gender has jumped the shark, and Britney finally wised up to that by cutting him loose. Once that was done, she sought solace through… Paris Hilton? Can we just sterilize both of these wastes of space that are using up air I may someday need?
Biggest Movie News of the Month: The Great Spider-Man 3 Internet Debate. Ever since the main trailer has come out, we've been reading all kinds of speculation from fans about the fate of Venom. Will he be in just the last act? Will he be the teaser for Spider-Man 4? Why Topher? Why isn't the costume alien? My own hope is that his first appearance is the teaser for 4, since there's a hell of a lot that can be done with his character, but if he's just going to be in the last act, fans would be a lot more forgiving if he survives…
Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month: Rocky Balboa! Can't wait!
Recommended DVD Release of the Month: My favorite movie of 2006, Little Miss Sunshine. See it with everyone you know, because everyone you know's gonna love it…
Classic Movie of the Month: It's the holiday season, so I gotta go with the ultimate Christmas movie of all time. That's right… DIE HARD!
Movie Quote of the Month: "You want to know the secret to surviving air travel? After you get where you're going, take off your shoes and your socks then walk around on the rug bare foot and make fists with your toes." -- The Businessman who sits next to John McClane in Die Hard. Just to remind you why he's in his bare feet throughout the rest of the film.
Bryan Kristopowitz
Biggest Winner of the Month: Sacha Baron Cohen. "Borat" maina is sweeping the world, and for good reason. The "Borat" movie is hysterical.
Biggest Loser of the Month: Michael Richards. Good old Stanley Spadowski (I'm sorry, but I can't call him Kramer. He's not Kramer. He's that janitor/world famous TV star/worthless human being Stanley Spadowski from "UHF") berated some hecklers at a comedy club, using the "N-word" and other profanities. Yes, the incident and subsequent "apology" and "therapy" have generated mountains of publicity for him, but I think in this case the adage "Any publicity is good publicity" doesn't apply. Special mention should be given to wrestling legend and star of "They Live," John Nada hisself, "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, who was just diagnosed with lymphoma. Getting cancer sucks. Get well, Roddy.
Biggest Movie News of the Month: It's a tie between those frat guys suing 20th Century Fox and Sacha Baron Cohen over their appearance and subsequent racist tirade in the "Borat" movie, and Peter Jackson getting thrown off of "The Hobbit" and a "Lord of the Rings" prequel. First off, who exactly is going to take those frat guys seriously in court? They said what they said. Just live with the fact that you're a bunch of racist drunk morons and get on with your lives. As for the Jackson/"Hobbit" controversy, from what I've read this whole thing boils down to an ongoing profit sharing lawsuit between Jackson and and New Line Cinema. New Line wants Jackson to drop the suit before he comes to work for them again. Jackson, obviously, won't drop the suit unless he's given what he wants/deserves. I can't see someone else doing a "LOTR" movie, not with the rabid fanbase that already exists and the possibility that that fanbase would ignore a "Hobbit" or prequel movie if Jackson isn't involved. This is all just a bunchof stuff everyone has to get out of the way before Jackson can start making the movie.
Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month: "Charlotte's Web." I love the animated movie, and the previews for the live action movie are a hoot.
Recommended DVD Release of the Month: "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby." This movie was hilarious, and much like the "Anchorman" DVD, I'm sure the "Ricky Bobby" DVD will be jam packed with good, funny stuff. And, yeah, I'm going to watch the flick like a hundred times, just like I did when I first saw "Anchorman" on HBO.
Classic Movie of the Month: "Walk Like a Man" (1987) Howie Mandel is Bobo Shand, the missing son of a rich family who is found to be raised by and living with wolves. Amy Steel is the researcher charged with bringing Bobo back to "civilization" and humanity, and the great Christopher Lloyd is Reggie, the scheming dead beat brother trying to screw his baby brother Bobo out of his inheritance. Mandel is superb as the "culturally" challenged sort of manchild, Amy Steel is warm and funny as the doctor Penny, and Lloyd is just outstanding. Check out the "fake slime" gag in the mall toy store, among other gags. Fun, funny stuff.
Movie Quote of the Month: "Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass, kiss his ass, kiss your ass, Happy Hanukkah." Clark W. Griswold, Chevy Chase, "National Lampoons Christmas Vacation" (1989)
Chad Webb
Biggest Winner of the Month: It's really impossible to argue with Sacha Baron Cohen and Borat being this month's biggest winner. The film has made oodles of money, and is a ginormous hit in America. On top of that, the handful of lawsuits is only giving the movie more publicity. Many people I know have seen it more than once. Seeing as how the studio panicked before the movie was released, ripped it from a lot of screens, and it still managed to obtain the number one spot, I don't see how anyone could say this is not the biggest winner. Also, I must add the release of Da Ali G Show - The Compleet Sereez on DVD was a wise choice at this time. I am sure many people bought it after seeing Borat.
Biggest Loser of the Month: Many celebrities deserve to be called biggest loser of the month. I wouldn't say Michael Richards, even though he is hurting right now, or even Kevin Federline. I would say Britney Spears. She finally dumps the trashbag Kevin Federline, and has the opportunity to start building a better reputation for herself, but she literally throws that all away by making best friends with two morons that are dumber than her. The picture of Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears definitely fits the quote "a picture is worth a thousand words." It would be a thousand harsh words I think. On top of that, the whole world gets a peak between her legs when one lucky photographer was in the right place at the right time. I forsee these three idiots going somewhere while Lohan is driving, so she can get her 5th car crash in the past 2 years.
Biggest Movie News of the Month: The Peter Jackson Hobbit controversy is the biggest movie news period. I have discussed all of my thoughts in my news report, but to me this is a huge piece of news. Whether or not he makes the movie is definitely a big deal in the movie world. I think it looks bad in terms of Peter's chances of making it, but he has not been knocked out for a ten count yet. I feel sorry for any other director who would accept it. Fans will eat them alive.
Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month: Rocky Balboa has been my most anticipated movie period since it was announced long ago. I cannot wait for this. I will be seeing it as soon as humanly possible.
Recommended DVD Release of the Month: This year's best horror film, The Descent is released along with that nutty Oliver Stone's actually really good 9/11 epic, World Trade Center.
Classic Movie of the Month: Steven Spielberg's Duel can be compared with some of Hitchcock's best thrillers. I urge anyone who loves Spielberg to seek this movie out. The DVD is hard to find, but when a retailer does have it in stock, it's usually pretty cheap. Duel packs the type of suspense that I love. Spielberg himself says that what you do not see, is always more frightening, and I couldn't agree more. You'll have to see the movie to understand what I mean. Dennis Weaver is brilliant as a common driver who passed the wrong truck on that long and lonely road. This is just a great overlooked gem.
Movie Quote of the Month: From a movie that will make my top 10 list this year. In V For Vendetta:V: "...A building is a symbol, as is the act of destroying it. Symbols are given power by people. A symbol, in and of itself is powerless, but with enough people behind it, blowing up a building can change the world. "
Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj
Comedy
Opening: December 1
Cast: Kal Penn, Lauren Cohan, Daniel Percival
Director: Mort Nathan
Plot: Taj Mahal Badalandabad (Penn) leaves
Coolidge College behind for the halls of Camford
University, where he looks to continue his education,
and teach an uptight student how to make the most
out of his academic career.
Flamingo: I liked the first movie because I am a Ryan Reynolds mark. Doing a sequel without Double R is like doing a sequel to Caddyshack without...
I did that one already? Sorry.
Furious: I didn't see the first film but as far as I can gather it was a vehicle to use the talents of Ryan Reynolds. He being the Van Wilder the title refers to. Also it made good use of a hot Tara Reid when she wasn't just famous for her tit falling out in public. The "Taj" of the second film is a second string star of the first one. Any time you make a sequel without the clear cut star/stars of the opening film you are destined to failure. Son of Mask, Caddyshack 2 (as already mentioned), Predator 2 and Fast and the Furious. If you can't get your star back then you probably shouldn't make the film. And if Ryan Reynolds is too busy to make your movie then I'm too busy to watch it.
Moser: I'm sure that there will be moments in the movie that make me laugh whether I want to or not. But I won't see them until this shows up on Comedy Central's heavy rotation, which means that I'll have to guess at what most of the dirty jokes were.
SIROIS: If Doug Kenney knew this was the depths of what National Lampoon had sunk to… (insert tasteless joke about Doug falling off a cliff). This used to be one of the great comedic pioneers, and now it's been reduced to churning out the same sex comedies one after another. To think that this got a theatrical release makes my head hurt, especially since Van Wilder himself didn't even bother to be in it.
Kristopowitz: I never saw the first flick starring Ryan Reynolds, nor do I want to. After Reynolds helped destroy the "Blade" franchise, he is persona non grata (at least to me). But this sequel doesn't look half bad. Yeah, it's a "stupid" "teen" comedy, but Kal Penn seems to have a charisma, a personality, that will somehow carry a lackluster movie. I'll give it a shot.
Webb: This is just more National Lampoon garbage that should have been put direct-to-DVD just like everything else they create. I hated the first one with Ryan Reynolds, and I am sure this one will be just as bad. I will have to be in a certain mood to actually sit through this. I can only take so many horrible Lampoon movies in one month.
The Holiday
Romantic Comedy
Opening: December 8
Cast: Katie Winslet, Cameron Diaz, Jude Law
Director: Nancy Meyers
Plot: An American woman (Diaz) with man problems
jaunts over to England and crosses paths with a
British villager (Winslet) who has similar troubles.
Flamingo: Does Kate Winslet get naked in this?
Furious: My rule of not watching Jude Law movies means I'll probably never see this. Seeing as it's a rom-com, who cares?
Moser: Trading Spaces has gone too far. I might read the write up of this one in "If You Have to See A Chick Flick," (synergy!) but that's as far as I'm going.
SIROIS: Looks pretty cute and warm and fuzzy, and it's good to see Jack Black in a movie like this less than a month after The Pick of Destiny, so audiences can see his range. Cameron Diaz surprised the hell out of me with In Her Shoes, so this just might be given a look.
Kristopowitz: Ah, yes, the sophisticated hip and edgy comedy of the season that's about "relationships," about "real characters" and "real problems." I;m willing to bet that, at the end, the only thing this movie will do is bore the audience to death. Even the presence of Jack Black doesn't raise the "watchability" factor.
Webb: A relationship between Jack Black and Kate Winslet? That will be something weird to see, as will watching Black in a role that is semi-serious. I have seen this preview quite a few times now, and even though it looks so predictable and cheesy, it seems like a nice little Christmas date movie. In other words, I will most likely be getting dragged to it. I will see it because of Kate Winslet. She is a magnificent presence on screen, and it will be worth it just to watch her. I am not sure about Diaz and Jude Law yet. This won't be the best movie of the month, and it won't be the worst. That is all you really need to say.
Blood Diamond
Cast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Djimon Hounsou, Jennifer Connelly
Director: Edward Zwick
Plot: In Sierra Leone, the fates of a mercenary
(DiCaprio), a fisherman (Hounsou), and an American
journalist (Connelly) are entwined as the trio hunts
for a priceless diamond.
Flamingo: Whoever says that Leo is a good actor should watch this trailor. One of the worst accents I've ever seen. This movie looks like crap and has a stupid title to boot.
Furious: This on paper looks very good. Straightforward storyline almost mimicking "Romancing the Stone" only in a far more serious way. Good director with a solid track record and stars who rarely let their audiences down. Well, lately, in the case of DiCaprio. This could well be an old fashioned action adventure flick in the Indiana Jones mold. Maybe with less emphasis on action than the Jones movies. If it can escape the pitfalls of cliché it could be a great movie. Even if it is clichéd it could still be fun.
Moser: I can't say that this one tickles my fancy at all. It seems like the kind of thing that will either be immediately forgotten or universally loved. If it follows the universally loved route, I'm sure Blockbuster will have plenty of copies for me.
SIROIS: The commercials should have shown all of Leo's moments with his mouth shut. His accent kills me, and I don't see myself paying money to listen to it for over 2 hours.
Kristopowitz: This flick will probably do slightly better than last month's socially conscious action thriller "To Catch a Fire," as Leo DiCaprio has some hooha on him after the smash hit "The Departed." People will go see it. It does look pretty good. Zwick usually makes good movies.
Webb: Edward Zwick is a filmmaker who knows how to make an entertaining film with an intriguing plot. This looks no different. Leonardo Dicaprio is a fantastic actor, and seems to do nothing wrong as of late, and that guy from Gladiator, Djimon Hounsou is an underrated actor. Those two, along with Jennifer Connelly will probably make an exciting trio. Since Leo is involved, the film will probably do reasonably well at the box office.
Unaccompanied Minors
Comedy
Opening: December 8
Cast: Dyllan Christopher, Tyler James Williams, Gina Mantegna
Director: Paul Feig
Plot: A group of kids create their own makeshift holiday
while snowed in at Chicago's O'Hare International Airport.
Flamingo: Home Alone + Plains, Trains, and Automobiles - Talent
Furious: Here's my nomination for the worst film title this year. I hear it'll be called "Grounded" on its UK release because over here that title would have more connection to mining than children. They'd flock to see it in Wales! Sounds pretty bland but its kids movie so that's normal.
Moser: I'm sure this will be uplifting, fun, and adorable. It probably won't even be half bad.
SIROIS: I love Lewis Black, but I'll be taking a pass on this one.
Kristopowitz: So we have the hip and edgy smart butt kid, the slightly dark, acerbic young gril with glasses no one understands, the black kid, and the fat kid stuck in an airport on Christmas Eve with Fez from "That 70's Show" and Lewis Black. The premise sounds ridiculous, like "Die Hard 2" without the terrorists, but somehow I think this movie is going to be better than it has any right to be.
Webb: This just looks dreadful in every way. Lewis Black runs an airport where a group of kids decide to run wild after they are snowed in. I have seen this trailer a couple times now, and I have still not found anything remotely enjoyable about this. We have all seen teenager comedies such as this. It's not like any one of these child actors are worth paying for a ticket to see. I have a feeling many folks will be avoiding this one.
Apocalypto
Historical Epic
Opening: December 8
Cast: Gerardo Taracena, Raoul Trujillo, Dalia Hernandez
Director: Mel Gibson
Plot: As the Maya kingdom faces its decline, the rulers
insist the key to prosperity is to build more temples
and offer human sacrifices. Jaguar Paw (Rudy
Youngblood), a young man chosen for sacrifice, flees
the kingdom to avoid his fate.
Flamingo: Even without Gibson's little rant I think this would bomb. Passion of the Christ had the hugely unutilized Christian market behind it. Something tells me there aren't as many Mayas out there. Now had he just made a film version of Nickelodeon's old cartoon "The Mysterious Cities of Gold", I'd be first in line.
Furious: Mel Gibson the director sure seems to enjoy his sequences of violence and has secured himself an R rating for this film. If it's anything like the Passion of the Christ it should be good. Of course Mel doesn't have any Jews to blame for human sacrifice does he? Does he? What Gibson does bring to the table is a degree of authenticity. The languages are going to be accurate (he's bringing the Yucatec Maya this time out) and historically it should be pretty close. If you can ignore his own personal feelings and go and see the film it should be something special. This is the same guy who made Braveheart and the Passion. That's the kind of level he operates on.
Moser: Have you seen the commercial for this where Mel Gibson tries to explain how high-minded this flick is? If he feels like he has to do that, then the narrative here must be awful. Look, The Passion of the Christ was supposed to be based strictly on scripture, and Gibson still managed to add a ton of things that weren't there...I can only imagine what he might do to misrepresent the Myans. I'll take a pass for now, but will be willing to listen to people who tell me I was wrong to.
Kristopowitz: Mel Gibson's Jewish issues not withstanding, this non-English action adventure epic looks bizarre enough to work, the kind of "art" movie that will also appealing to general audiences. I know I'm going to see it.
Webb: Despite the fact that Mr. Gibson was a big item in the news a few months back, no one can deny that the man is a brilliant director. I think this looks terrific, and even though the trailer is attached to every single movie being released every single week, I am still looking forward to it. On the other hand, I have not noticed any one aspect about it that will draw huge box office numbers like Mel is used to. If anything, this will be a more critically acclaimed success.
The Pursuit of Happyness
Dramedy
Opening: December 15
Cast: Will Smith, Thandie Newton, Jaden Smith
Director: Gabriele Muccino
Plot: A struggling salesman (Will Smith) takes custody
of his son (Jaden Smith) as he's poised to begin a
life-changing professional endeavor.
Flamingo: I've heard some Oscar buzz for Smith here. And I'm talking about Jaden. Just kidding.
Furious: Should be fairly corny and sentimental given that Will is working with his own son here. Given his fondness for telling the world how much he loves the kid in the past it should help him to act in a far more touching manner than usual. Will is a big star but not one that takes himself too seriously. This is really the first project he's been involved in for a long time that looks to stretch him as an actor. You might think he isn't but cast your minds back to Six Degrees of Separation when he first made a name for himself. It was after that he did Bad Boys then Independence Day getting himself typecast in the process. The only time he's really deviated from action movies or comedy was to make Ali and that in itself was an action movie and he wasn't acting so much as mimicking. Muccino is making his first American film. There's every chance he can make this work by keeping Will focused on what his character should be doing. Should be…emotional.
Moser: I think this movie has the potential to be something special. I'm a sucker for a movie about a downtrodden guy grabbing the american dream by the balls. ***You can add your own Flair/Rhodes joke here***
Kristopowitz: Big Will Smith's next Oscar opportunity, or so it seems. This looks like one of those "positive" and "uplifting" movies that makes you smile after adversity is overcome. Or so Will Smith hopes so.
Webb: I guess the talk of the town here is Oscar buzz for Will Smith. That rumor alone has me enticed to see this. This looks ok from what I've seen in the trailer. It's about time we see Will Smith back on the big screen. Perhaps this will be the project that Smith needs to be taken more seriously as an actor. He needs to get out of that funk. I also noticed that he's working with his son. That's cute. From the trailer, this movie looks like it could be a tearjerker, at least for the women who go to see it. It should be a nice drama.
Charlotte's Web
Family
Opening: December 15
Cast: Dakota Fanning, Julia Roberts, Oprah Winfrey
Director: Gary Winick
Plot: Wilbur the pig, fearful he'll end up the family dinner
instead of the family pet, hatches a plan with resourceful
spider Charlotte to save his bacon. Based on the acclaimed
childrens' novel.
Flamingo: Another remake. In this one Charlotte doesn't die, but instead marries Wilbur and raises a family of hundreds of baby spiders.
This movie looks way too much like Babe. The key to making this thing work of course is *SPOILER* Charlotte's death. If they can do that half as well as the animated version, then maybe it'll work.
Furious: I'm sure the kids will love it. Girls anyway.
Moser: On the short list of movies that just didn't need to be made, this one's near the top. The book is one of the best books for young people out there. The little cartoon movie is heartbreakingly good. This is a mess.
Kristopowitz: Like I said up above, I can't wait to see this movie. This looks like so much freaking giddy fun. The voice talent is top notch as is, apparently, the "animal" direction. And it's all based on a great book and a wonderful cartoon movie. I'm sorry if I seem overenthusiastic about this movie, but I just can't wait.
Webb: I have become leery of blockbusters will huge all-star casts. Not all the time, but most of the time I feel that such a great cast is used to distract us from the fact that the film will suck. I remember vaguely the animated version from years ago, and of course I have read the book in school. It is an average story. It all comes down to how they will execute certain scenes. The film needs to have its own identity in order to be anything special. We have had many movies about farm animals and pigs (who talk) in the past, so it will not be easy for this to gain positive reviews. It will no doubt do huge numbers at the box office, as every parent will be forced to take their kid to it.
Night at the Museum
Comedy
Opening: December 20
Cast: Ben Stiller, Carla Gugino, Ricky Gervais
Director: Shawn Levy
Plot: A dim-witted guy (Stiller) gains employment
at the Museum of Natural History as the nighttime
security guard. Tipped off by a pair of day shift
old-timers (Dick Van Dyke, Mickey Rooney), his first
night on the job is full of danger and surprises,
as the humans and other animals on display come to
life, looking for trouble.
Flamingo: Jumanji 2: Electric Boogaloo!
Arnold Furious: Oh good fucking lord, Ben Stiller and Ricky Gervais in the same place? I guarantee you this will be terrible. And that's without taking into account what an awful director Shawn Levy is. Seriously, just avoid this.
Moser: Ben Stiller makes some poor decisions and falls down a lot while surrounded by eccentric characters. Yes, I did just pitch every other movie Ben Stiller has ever been in. No, I won't be watching this.
SIROIS: Didn't I see all these guys on Comic Relief 2006?
Kristopowitz: Where the heck did Ben Stiller go? It seems like he dropped off the face of the Earth. Apparently he doesn't want to make ten movies a year anymore. The effects and general zaniness shown in the trailer are the obvious "mainstream" draws, but what I'm really interested in are the security guard characters played by Dick van Dyke and Mickey Rooney. Even if it's just a glorified cameo for both actors, it's still a bit of casting genius. Dr. Sloan and Mickey freaking Rooney, the top box office draw from 1939 to 1940 (spanning two decades). I'll see it.
Webb: I am entertained by action comedies like Jumanji and Zathura so I am interested in seeing this also. In the middle of all the huge Christmas films and possible Oscar contenders, this will be the perfect film to go see and just relax for a fun time. I really don't know what else to say about this. You never know what you'll get with Ben Stiller these days.
Rocky Balboa
Drama
Opening: December 22
Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Antonio Tarver, Milo Ventimiglia
Director: Sylvester Stallone
Plot: After considering a low-profile return to the
ring, Rocky Balboa (Stallone) is granted a shot at
the title held by heavyweight champ Mason "The Line"
Dixon (Tarver).
Flamingo: Now we're talking. I love the Rocky movies. IMO there is not a series that holds up as well with as many movies. The original is one of the best movies ever made and a great love story. The second is also a solid film with a great performance by Burgess Meridith. Rocky III is an 80's staple and gives us a great villain in Clubber Lang with continuing the story of Rocky in a logical direction. Rocky IV is completely over the top turning Rocky into an American Superhero. It isn't near the quality of the original or even Rocky II, but it is still a great movie. Rocky 5 does not exist in my world.
I think this one is going to be more akin to the original with Rocky not having to win the fight to win.
Furious: If you ignore the patently ridiculous moniker on the champ this looks decent. Stallone's biggest problem will be recapturing the feeling that people had when they watched Rocky. Not any of the sequels. The original Rocky. Because it's been so long since the last chapter in Rocky's life and this seems so disconnected to the entire series that it'll be like watching a whole new film. If Burt Young wasn't in the film it would just be Rocky that survived the series. Maybe that's a positive though because Rocky V was shit. Distancing itself from the series in order to provide a conclusion is probably for the best. Now here's hoping Stallone doesn't really go ahead with Rambo IV in a few years.
Moser: You know why this is called Rocky Balboa and not Rocky VI? It's because Rocky V never happened. This flick could be the fitting ending to the saga of Rocky's life that we've been missing for so long. Or, it could just as easily be terrible. Either way, I'll have a front row seat to find out. Come to think, the front row isn't all that great. I'll be sitting about midway up the stadium seating.
SIROIS: I'm seeing this in the theater no matter what! And I hate to break it to you guys, but Rocky V DID HAPPEN, and it was necessary that it happened in order to undo what had been done in Rocky IV.
Think about it. In IV, Stallone had built up the character of Rocky Balboa into a worldwide icon that not even Cold War Russians could hate, and the whole movie was just a pro-US propaganda piece that became the longest music video since Thriller. V was like Stallone taking a pin to the very over-inflated balloon and the shock of losing everything all at once was very jarring. So, yeah, IV and V are the two lesser sequels but they did happen and with their faults, they're still very watchable (to me).
But now, it's 16 years later, we've let Rocky go on with his life, and it looks like his kid's been cured of Brundle's Accelerated Growth Syndrome (seriously, the kid's a geeky 5-year old when Rocky gets on the plane to Russia and when he's a fur-coat wearing teenager when Rocky comes home). So now that everything's settled down in Rocky's life, he's ready to climb back in the ring for one more shot and I'm all for it! I love these movies, and I'm ready for one more to close out the series in style.
If Stallone is smart, he'll put the Foreman / Moorer episode of Legendary Nights on the DVD.
Kristopowitz: It should really be called "Rocky VI." Because that's what it is. It'll be nice to see Stallone back on the big screen (after his guest spot on "Las Vegas" and "Spy Kids 3") as someone we all grew up with. And it sets the stage for the upcoming "Rambo IV," and then, maybe, a "Cobra" sequel.
Webb: This is the movie we have all been waiting all year for. Whether you admit it or not, deep down you want to go see this as much as everyone else does. I am hoping as much as the next guy that it will be the suitable conclusion to the series after Rocky V, but I must add that even though Rocky V is undoubtedly the worst of the series, I still didn't think it was overly terrible. It had some good points didn't it? Anyway, the actor who plays his son this time around seems leaps and bounds better than the previous two dorks. The second trailer was actually slightly better than the first, and I just cannot friggin wait for this. Bring on Rambo IV!
The Good Shepherd
Drama
Opening: December 22
Cast: Matt Damon, Angelina Jolie, Robert De Niro
Director: Robert De Niro
Plot: The history and evolution of the CIA, seen
through the eyes of James Wilson (Damon), one of
its founding officers, and the toll his spy games
took on his home life.
Furious: I like the cast and I like the chances of this being good. De Niro hasn't directed, officially, since his debut in 1993's A Bronx Tale. It seems like he's very picky about what he attaches his name to. I say "officially" because he had more than a hand in directing 2001's The Score but clearly didn't want people to know that. Good Shepherd is written by Eric Roth. He tends to do good research and is very well read. He wrote Munich, Ali, the Insider and Forest Gump. This guy has a pedigree and no one is arguing with De Niro's credentials. There is a strong chance I will see this.
Moser: Great cast. Great concept. I realy want this to be a great movie. I think it can be. Can't wait.
SIROIS: This looks great, and I'm definitely seeing this. (Of course I said the same thing about The Departed and I still have yet to see that, but damn it, I just gotta see both of them.)
Kristopowitz: I really don't know anything about this movie, although I've heard it mentioned everytime DeNiro's name has been mentioned over the last year. The fact that Matt Damon is the star, though, gives me pause. Damon can barely carry the "Bourne" movies, so I don't see how he's going to carry this. Even with Jolie and DeNiro backing him up. We'll see.
Webb: The history of the CIA from the filmmaking hand of Robert Deniro. This looks amazing in my opinion, and I believe it to be the only remaining film that really has a chance to be better than The Departed in terms of this years Oscar race. I don't mind Angelina Jolie, I personally think Matt Damon has become a wonderful leading actor, and if you were looking for a reason to see this besides the fact that Deniro is in it, Joe Pesci plays a minor role! I think it is his first role in like 100 years. Who cares if this blows? It is worth it to see an aging Pesci.
We Are Marshall
Drama
Opening: December 22
Cast: Matthew McConaughey, David Strathairn, Matthew Fox
Director: McG
Plot: When a plane crash claims the lives of the Marshall
University football team athletes and some of its fans,
the team's new coach (McConaughey), his surviving players,
and the school's dean (Strathairn) try to keep the program
alive.
Furious: HACK ALERT: McG. The guy doesn't even have a full name. His contribution to cinema so far is two feature length music videos starring Cameron Diaz. I'll pass on this one.
Moser: Anyone who can resist a blatantly manipulative sports movie like this one has no soul. Of course I'll watch it.
Kristopowitz: Why are old football stories suddenly so popular? And who exactly picked McG for this movie?
Webb: I will give credit to all the sports movies out there for knowing how to manipulate moviegoers with brilliant trailers. This movie actually looks good, but you know it will end up being just as clichéd as the rest of them. The sports genre has a way of fooling us by the previews every time. McConaughey looks to be less annoying in the role of a coach here, and it's about damn time he picks something other than romantic comedies. I am just crossing my fingers that this does not end with the last second of a game or something of that nature. Oh yeah, David Straitharn is also in this. His performance should be reason enough for buying a ticket.
Dream Girls
Drama
Opening: December 25
Cast: Beyonce Knowles, Jamie Foxx, Eddie Murphy
Director: Bill Condon
Plot: Under the care of their manager, a trio of female
singers grow from a promising R&B act to one of the most
successful pop groups of their time.
Furious: When I got asked if I thought Eddie Murphy was passed his best in Fact or Fiction I brought up this film. The buzz has Eddie Murphy turning in a great performance here. Although in general I hear the film is more like an opera than a film. That's where Beyonce has been brought in to shine. Her stage presence is phenomenal. If she can covert that into a film performance by sticking to her strengths and singing I'm all for it. Speaking of singing we get back to Eddie who busts out a groove or two. He could well steal the show and be the main reason for watching this. Watch out for the reviews but I suspect they'll be fairly positive.
Moser: This is one of those movies that I'll end up not watching; but when the buzz around it gets loud enough, I'll say "No, I totally knew that this movie was going to be incredible." People will think I'm amazing.
Kristopowitz: I have yet to see an actual preview for this movie, but I have seen the lobby advertising display. Pretty snazzy. So is this Bill Condon's attempt to get Eddie Murphy some real acting respect? Maybe even an Oscar? I don't know if this movie is going to be "good," but I'm sure the music will be pretty good. Beyonce is the star.
Webb: All I have heard for like the last year is that this will be an Oscar contender. I have heard the first screenings have resulted in a standing ovation. It looks ok from the trailer, but not Oscar worthy. Eddie Murphy in a best picture winner? The two do not go together. He can act in a serious role, but how good can he really be here? Beyonce has to abide by a few rules if she wants her performance to be any good. This should be interesting. I could talk for days about it. That's all I have to say.
The Good German
Drama
Opening: December 25
Cast: George Clooney, Cate Blanchett
Director: Steven Soderbergh
Plot: An American journalist (Clooney) in post-war Berlin to find
his former mistress (Blanchett) is lured into a mystery involving
her missing husband and a soldier's washed-up body.
Furious: Oh Steven Soderbergh, can I forgive you for Oceans Twelve? The guy did Out of Sight, Oceans Eleven, Erin Brokovich and Traffic then just seemed to lose it. This could go one of two ways. It could either be shallow and loaded with theft from classic films especially in the noir genre. Or it could be innovative and thrilling. Earlier indicators have the film shot to look like the Third Man but without the depth of performance. I find this suggestion to be very believable. I do feel that Soderbergh could well be becoming less important with every film he makes. At least George Clooney still likes him.
Moser: Sounds like a good one. Clooney is real hit-or-miss with me, though, so I might wait on this one too.
Kristopowitz: Oooh. Steven Soderbergh and George Clooney in a new movie, something that will deal with "issues" and have "meaning." I'm sorry, but I can't get excited about this movie. I just can't.
Webb: You have Steven Soderbergh and Geroge Clooney in a World War II film. I think this will be good. Soderbergh is a great director. Many of us have already forgotten his short jewel, Bubble, from earlier this year. I will say that it does seem like Soderbergh has generated ideas off of numerous classics, but that is not necessarily a bad thing. Regardless of Clooney and Blanchett as the leads, this movie rests on the shoulders of Mr. Soderbergh. He has his ups and downs like any filmmaker, so I will be purchasing a ticket to see how this turns out.
Black Christmas
Horror
Opening: December 25
Cast: Michelle Trachtenberg, Mary Elizabeth Windstead, Lacey Chabert
Director: Glen Morgan
Plot: Sorority sisters couped up in their house during Christmas break
are terrorized by a stranger's threatening phone calls.
Flamingo: This looks like every horror movie ever made. The original has a cult following, but c'mon. This just sounds awful.
Furious: I've seen the original and I don't see the point in a remake. It's a decent story but it's so predictable and straightforward that I'm not sure how the modern "Saw" audience will take it. Badly, would be my bet.
Moser: Michelle Trachtenberg had best yell "GetOutGETOUTGETOUUUUT!!!" at least once in this flick. I haven't seen a trailer for it, so I have no idea what it looks like. As a sucker for horror flicks, though, I could easily see myself easing into a theater for a peak.
SIROIS: Enough with the fucking horror remakes! Make up your own damn slasher icons, will ya?!
Kristopowitz: This could end up being a pretty good slasher movie, as Glen Morgan and James Wong are known for doing decent, bloody horror movies. As long as they don't try to do what Simon West tried with "When a Stranger Calls," all will be right with the world.
Webb: It is a horror remake. It will be terrible. That is all.
