The Bullseye 12.02.06: Smallville
Posted by Scotty Flamingo on 12.02.2006
Somebody save me…
Do you have a certain movie, show, or celebrity that you hate, but you don't see much criticism about? We're not talking Paris Hilton here, everyone hates her. This column is about those things that seem to slip though the cracks of the critics, or are overly praised by lovesick fanboys. This is The Bullseye.
Hey everybody! I'm Scotty, and welcome to The Bullseye. I hope everyone is having a good week. I had to pay a $90 traffic ticket this morning, so unless Scarlet Johansson walks through my door in nothing but a robe, I'm struggling. Maybe trashing some stuff will make me feel better. This week's Bullseye is on Smallville, a show I used to love, but now have nothing but disdain for. But before I get to that, let's get to…
The Quickshot
This week's Quickshot is aimed at the fact that Happy Feet was number one at the box office last week. What the hell is wrong with people??? It is the exact same CG talking animal crapfest that has been coming out for the last two years. Here's the rule for CGI animated films: if it isn't Pixar IT SUCKS! Obviously parents don't even care at this point. They'll plop their kids in front of any movie that is animated.
You know how you have these ultra religious people that won't let their kids watch movies that are rated more than G? Or better yet, those that went as far as to start producing cuts of movies that had objectionable material cut out. Well, when/if I'm a parent, I'm gonna ban my kids from movies due to a lack of quality.
"Sorry, Baby Flamingo, I'm not buying you Cinderella 2: Dreams Come True. That's not something you need to see. Sometimes people make movies for grown-ups, and sometimes people make movies that are pure crap to make a quick buck."
Anyhoo, parents don't care. What ever shuts the kids up. And people wonder why the little bastards are shooting up their schools…
Smallville
Alright, this one is going to be a big one for me, because it is one of my biggest disappointments in a TV show. We're talking more of a disappointment that when Bo and Luke were replaced by Coy and Vance on The Dukes of Hazard.
Smallville is a great concept for a television show. Take the legend of Superman and focus on his pre-hero days growing up in a small Kansas town struggling with adolescence as well as becoming the most powerful being on the planet. The "No flights, no tights" policy of the creators kept the show from becoming a cheesy superhero show like the early 90's Superboy series.
The show took all of Superman's history and put it in a blender. You had Clark Kent's early friendship with Lex Luthor from the Golden Age. You had Christopher Reeve playing a scientist who discovers the remnants of Clark's homeworld of Krypton in a nod to the movies and possibly the show's best episode. It was a great show because it honored the history of Superman while being its own show.
There was also certain originality to a show where you know the ultimate fate of everyone on it. We know Lex Luthor is going to be Clark's archenemy. We know that Clark isn't going to end up with his high school crush, Lana Lang. It was great to speculate how these things were going to happen through the course of the show.
From the beginning, there were little gripes that I had with the show. For one thing, for a small Kansas town, Smallville sure had a lot of people. I grew up in a small town. If something happens, everyone knows it. However, in Smallville, you've got a different kid being mutated by Kryptonite each week, and nobody seems to notice.
Then there is the problem with geography. Metropolis is within driving distance of Smallville. Uh, Smallville is in Kansas, so does that mean Metropolis is in Kansas too?? Seeing as Metropolis is modeled after New York City, it is obvious that it should be an east coast city. Metropolis should have been like the Emerald City in The Wizard of Oz, a place far away with all the answers. Yeah, its nitpicky, but these things pile up.
Another problem with the show was its tendency to become Dawson's Creek. The focus was too much on Lana Lang and not enough on super heroics. Obviously the show was trying to appeal to the female demographic. Again, a small gripe, but the pile was getting bigger.
Then something happened around the third or fourth season. The show became even more of a soap opera with more and more love interests for Clark. The show also began throwing out cameos of everyone from Perry White to Aquaman despite the fact that Superman met all of these people during his years as a hero. The worst offense was when they made Lois Lane a permanent cast member. This goes against every Superman story ever told. Superman meets Lois when he begins work at the Daily Planet, period.
Almost as bad is the show's insistence of throwing out every C-List hero from the DC Universe they can think of. Now I wouldn't have minded a storyline with Bruce Wayne coming through town during his years of training, but Cyborg??? Let's not even get into the fact that Cyborg is a Teen Titan while Superman is an adult. Should he have been a little Cyborg baby?? It is stuff like this that sent the show spinning into its own bizarre continuity that unlike the earlier years, didn't respect Superman history.
Another problem I have is the show's handling of Lex Luthor. For the first three seasons, the character was portrayed perfectly by Michael Rosenbaum. Unfortunately, the character has turned into a wimp who is a lovesick puppy running after Lana Lang and allows himself to be manipulated by other villains. Add to this the fact that he has been investigating Clark all this time and yet, we know that Lex Luthor doesn't know Superman's identity, so apparently he is an idiot as well.
Lex's father, Lionel Luthor has also been horribly mishandled. At the beginning of the series, John Glover did a great job of making him into Lex's manipulative evil father. Unfortunately, the show has decided to turn him into a good guy with a crush on Martha Kent!
Don't even get me started on the death of Jonathan Kent. John Schneider was one of the best things about the show and the death of Jonathan Kent came off as more of a ratings stunt that something to progress the storyline of Clark's development. To have Martha Kent begin a love affair with his sworn enemy Lionel just adds insult to injury.
Finally, the show has never been able to successfully get away from the trappings of its "Freak of the Week" plotlines. In the first few seasons of the show, it was Kryptonite baddies. The latest trend is for Clark to battle a different escapee from the Phantom Zone. Now I don't have a problem with some new villains, but when it gets to the point where it stops the story from moving forward, something is wrong.
In the end, it all just got to be too much for this comic book geek. I couldn't overlook the glaring continuity errors or the meaningless cameos any longer. I lost interest and Smallville became a show that I just checked in on during commercial breaks. Eventually I forget when it was even on. It's a shame too, because this was a show that I really got into and would have stayed a fan of had it just not completely derailed.
Ok, I think I'm burned out on superheroes for awhile. It is time to move on. If anyone has any suggestions for a genre of shows, or a specific show or film that you'd like to see blasted, shoot me a line. Until then…
