The Bullseye 12.09.06: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Posted by Scotty Flamingo on 12.09.2006
More like Buffy The Vampire LAYER! HOOOAH!
Do you have a certain movie, show, or celebrity that you hate, but you don't see much criticism about? We're not talking Paris Hilton here, everyone hates her. This column is about those things that seem to slip though the cracks of the critics, or are overly praised by lovesick fanboys. This is The Bullseye.
Hello peoples, I'm Scotty and this is The Bullseye. Last week's edition on Smallville was such a big hit, that I'm sticking with the teen sci-fi drama genre this week with a show that I've had a bone to pick with for years, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
The Ricochet
Kassandra writes:
smallville rules and you cant deny it you use to like it do you watch something for a while then hate it you are a hater. come onbooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!
Best. Email. Ever. I really don't think there is anything I can add to this. Sometimes the column writes itself…
And no, I do not alter the text of my email feedback.
Jolene gives her 2 cents:
Scotty,
Your gripes against Smallville are bang on! I agree with everything you said about why you lost interest in the show. (They're the same reasons I have lost interest in the show.) But there is one point I need to comment on. You said: "The focus was too much on Lana Lang and not enough on super heroics. Obviously the show was trying to appeal to the female demographic." I have to disagree with that last sentence. Having the storyline so wrapped up in Lana Lang doesn't have anything to do with appealing to the female demographic. (The female demographic would rather see episodes of just Clark and Lex, [Clex] ! Lana could be horribly mutilated, or just disappear altogether!) I believe the overabundance of Lana Lang is due to the fact that Alfred Gough and Miles Millar are obsessed, in real life, with Kristen Kreuk - judging by the number of commentary discussions dedicated to her "preternatural beauty" - and nothing more!
Rock on, brother!
Jolene
Hmmmm…interesting theory. That explains so much.
Is preternatural even a word? Let's use the old grammar check…
Nothing. But the spell checker didn't catch it either. Strange. Well, anyhoo…
Cole reminds me of some Silver Age comic book stuff:
In the old Superboy stories form the 1950s and 60s, Clark did occasionally meet Lois lane (as well as much of the rest of the Superman cast--he even saved Jimmy Olsen as a baby once.) He also had run-ins with the teenage versions of Aquaman and Green Arrow. No, Smallville doesn't match up particularly well with either the comics or the movies, but I never expected it to.
Cole
I never expected it to be perfect, but at this point the show isn't even trying. I wouldn't have minded a cameo by Lois Lane, but I feel the addition of her as a permanent cast member was a huge mistake. Lois is the love of Superman's life. She is an independent, strong woman that is different than anyone he ever met. The way Smallville is doing it; she's just a chick he will settle for because the Lana thing didn't work out.
The Quickshot
This week's Quickshot goes to Justin Timberlake. Why is this guy's career still going?? I've sat through all the teenage boy bands, from Menudo to the New Kids and they always go for about two years, and then break up, then one of them gets a solo career for a year or two tops. It seems like a decade ago when J-Tim had the whole Superbowl fiasco with Janet Jackson.
I don't see how this guy is any different then K-Fed. They've both banged Britney Spears and they both think they are black. Yet, everyone despises Federline while Justin is all over every music channel.
And who is HE to tell me he's bringing sexy back?? First of all, I'm not even sure what that means. Was sexy lost? If it was, I'm pretty sure I'd prefer someone like Natalie Portman to bring it back instead of some punk who looks like he's still in Junior High.
What an ass.
Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I was never a huge fan of the show, but I did enjoy it in its first four seasons. However, I quickly grew tired of the show's overzealous fans constantly proclaiming it as the greatest show of all time.
I have a few problems with the show.
For someone called Buffy the VAMPIRE Slayer, she sure seems to spend more time hooking up with the undead than she does, you know, slaying them. The first half of the show's run had Angel as the big love interest. Ok, that was kind of alright because Angel was a special case where he was a vampire who had a soul. Still, she should have wasted him as soon as he went bad.
However, it got worse when she started hooking up with freakin' SPIKE. Spike, the freakin' big bad from the first couple of seasons. Just because he has some stupid emotion chip that keeps him from ripping out her larynx, Buffy decides to jump his bones. That makes sense.
I think the show's fourth season is where things fell apart. This is the season where Buffy went to college (almost always a jump the shark moment for shows about high school). There she gets an annoying boyfriend named Riley who is part of some group called The Initiative. The Initiative is some sort of covert military operation that fights monsters. I don't remember exactly. It was at this point that I stopped my weekly viewing of the show and just occasionally checked in.
Then you've got Willow the Magical Lesbian. I say magical, not because she was a witch, but because her change in sexuality came out of the blue as if by some enchantment. For a show that supposedly had such great writing, turning Willow lesbo was obviously for shock value and little else. There was never a hint that she was gay in the early episodes where she is pining for Xander or going out with Oz. If anything, it makes her sexuality come off as insincere, like she started going for girls after she'd been burned one too many times by the guys. It doesn't help that her new girlfriend, Tara, is the most uninteresting character on the show.
Finally, much like Kevin Smith fans, Buffy fans are completely delusional. I can remember every year, come Emmy time, the fans throwing a fit because the show wasn't nominated. It's a show about FREAKIN' VAMPIRES people! That would be like me boycotting the Oscars because Smokey and The Bandit wasn't nominated. There were practically candlelight vigils when the show was cancelled in 2003. C'mon people, you got six years! That's a lot more than most shows get. Did you see me crying when they cancelled Manimal??
