The Bullseye 1.13.06: Bowl Games

Posted by Scotty Flamingo on 01.13.2007

They are hardly super anymore…

Do you have a certain movie, show, or celebrity that you hate, but you don't see much criticism about? We're not talking Paris Hilton here, everyone hates her. This column is about those things that seem to slip though the cracks of the critics, or are overly praised by lovesick fanboys. This is The Bullseye.

Hey kiddies, and welcome to another edition of The Bullseye. This is your party host, Scotty Flamingo, bringing you all the unwanted opinions you need to get you through the week.

I watched Rocky Balboa for the third time in the theater. This is only the second movie that I've done that with (Star Wars being the first). Usually, the second time I see a movie, there are parts that kind of bore me. Last year, with Batman Begins, I thought that the first act kind of dragged. However, Rocky holds up very well. There is just some great little moment in almost every scene.

I thought that this week's Office was possibly the best episode of the shows entire run. It did a great job of showing that the various members of Dunder Mifflin may have their issues, but that they can get the job done when the chips are down. Great moments were Dwight and Jim's sale call and Phyllis taking Stamford Pam to the beauty shop for an awful makeover, only to have it pay off in a sale.

Speaking of The Office…

(How's that for a segway?)

The Ricochet

Two readers have two very different reactions to last week's column on the British Office. First there's Jon.


Haya.

Just felt the need to chime in with some thoughts on The Office from
someone in the UK.

Corollary first - I have seen probably six or seven eps of the American
Office and, unlike a lot of the reactionary British commentaries, I
like
it. It is a markedly different show to the Uk version, but it's still
good television.

I do, however, prefer the UK iteration.

That, I think, is an important point. I'm not going to say that the
British Office is better. I can't. Certainly from a technical
standpoint, the American product is better made and I think Steve
Carell
is a better actor than Ricky Gervais. All I can say is that I prefer
the our show. And I think possibly the reasons why I like it more are
the reasons why some American viewers dislike it.

First, to my mind, it's a very accurate portrayal of British office
life. Everyone can look at the show and say to themselves "I know
someone exactly like that". It's humour by association. If you don't
have the association, you may not see the humour in the situation .
This is why I disagree with one of your points. The Character of David
Brent is not as well rounded as his American counterpart. But he isn't
supposed to be. Ge is meant to be vacuous. Because there are middle
management types floating around in British Industry who are as
one-dimensional. It's the accuracy of the portrayal that makes it
funny, not the depth of it.

Secondly, it's ours. By which, I say my generation. There are a group
of Brits who were, say 16-25 in 2000 when the show aired who would go
into school or college or work every Friday morning and pick it apart.
We felt as if we discovered it, as if it was ours. In the same way as
people in the seventies adopted Python, we adopted this. I know at
least four people who can sit down and, word for word, recant the
dialogue of each episode of the first season. The American show could
be 100 times better and I would still prefer ours, precisely because
it's ours.

Finally I don't think it necessarily travels well to the US. I'll give
you an example :-

"If there's someone who has influenced me, someone who's a Maverick and
does that to the system, it's Ian Botham Because Beefy will happily say
"This is what I think of your selection policy...now piss off and leave
me alone. I'm walking to John o Groats for some spastics"

Now I may be wrong, but I reckon that is bordering on gibberish for
most
of the US audience, yet is widely regarded in the UK as being one of
the
best monologues of the run. The same is true of the Pub Quiz episode.
The pub quiz is a cultural mammoth in the UK but doesn't have the same
significance in the US. Therefore neither does the humour surrounding
that episode. Jeremy Beadles Wanking Claw is another example. I could
go on.

Finally, the second Christmas special. The best forty minutes of TV
the
BBC have put out in a very long time and possibly the best episode of
British comedy in history. If only a quarter of TV shows could resolve
their storylines with the same quality of writing, scope and emotional
punch.

My point, I think is that the Uk show is a contender for the greatest
ever comedy from a country that produced Monty Python, the Day Today
and
TW3. I can, hpwever, understand why people in the US don't like/get
it.

Cheers

Jon


Some excellent arguments there Jon. It is a level-headed view that I wish more of the fans of the UK Office had. That it may not be my cup of tea, but that doesn't invalidate it. Of course, I really have more of a problem with American's brushing off the US Office in order to look sophisticated rather than Brits who actually enjoyed the show in its original run.

And now, from the other end of the intellectual spectrum:


Good god almighty man are you fucking mental the Office is one of the best shows ever created just ask anyone and they will tell you i mean people all ready have been.While the American Offce is good its are one is superior in fact if you watch the first season of your Office everyone is just doing impersion of the british charchters.
Brent is a pain in the ass but you see moments where he just wants to be loved. Tim and Dawns realationship was built up perfectly and Garath just rules.
British version is better its just that simple. Greg


I don't know which is worse, the English (and by that, I mean grammar, not an insult to my friends across the pond), or the fact that "Greg's" email address was a girl's name. So it's either some kid using his mom's email, or a guy with gender issues. What great readers I have.


The Quickshot

This week's quickshot is reruns. There should be a law that all shows have to start back in January. The rest of us have to go back to work, so why does Hollywood get a break?? I'm still waiting for Lost, which won't be back until next month, The Sopranos (which will probably be back in February…2009), and The Shield. It seems like the Fall Season is starting later every year, and hiatus is a little longer every year. Why can't shows just be year round? Soap operas and wrestling are!


NCAA Bowl Game

So this week's ‘Eye (my new hip name for the column) is on Bowl Games in NCAA football. Now, I'm not gonna get into a detailed debate on the merits of a playoff system or anything like that. I'll leave that to my boys over in the Sports section of 411. Instead, I'll be taking things from a more nitpicky stance, focusing on what I don't like as a casual college football fan.

Right off the bat, there are too many damn bowl games. Let's go through this year's list. You've got the Poinsettia Bowl, the Las Vegas Bowl, the New Orleans Bowl, the Papa Johns.com Bowl, the New Mexico Bowl, the Armed Forces Bowl, the Hawaii Bowl, the Motor City Bowl, The Emerald Bowl, the Independence Bowl, the Texas Bowl, the Holiday Bowl, the Music City Bowl, the Sun Bowl, the Liberty Bowl, the Insight Bowl, the Champs Sports Bowl, the Meinike Bowl, the Alamo Bowl, the Chik-fil-A Bowl, the MPC Computers Bowl, the Outback Bowl, the Cotton Bowl, the Capital One Bowl, the Gator Bowl, the Rose Bowl, the Fiesta Bowl, the Orange Bowl, the Sugar Bowl, the International Bowl, the GMAC Bowl, and finally the BCS Championship Game.

Whew!

That's THIRTY TWO games. A Bowl game is hardly an elite thing when there are more bowl games than there are ranked teams. Having this many bowl games is absurd and makes absolutely no sense to me. Yes, I know, it's all about money. But how are some of these games bring in one dime?? Seriously, who gives a crap about the Champs Sports Bowl???

Therefore, I am handing down a list of Commandments that must not be broken concerning bowl games.

Thou Shall Not Have Bowl Games For Unranked Teams – If you didn't make the top 25 by the end of the season, tough. This is doubly true for Bowl's where BOTH teams are unranked. This was the case for FIFTEEN of this year's Bowl games. That is almost half and there is no reason for it. It is bad enough to have games where one of the teams is unranked (that would be NINE more of the bowl games).

I think the reasoning for this is fairly obvious. There are teams that are media darlings and will bring in the ratings every game. Teams like Notre Dame. So what happens when these teams are unranked? Add more Bowls! The problem is that it is not helping these teams to get a pity Bowl. Perhaps if some of these teams had to go home after Thanksgiving, they'd give their athletic program a kick in the pants.

Thou Shall Not Name Bowls After A Business – It's bad enough that we have become so sponsor happy that announcers can't even call a game by its original name. Nope, it's not the Sugar Bowl; it has to be the NOKIA Sugar Bowl. Still, if a business wants to pay the big bucks to sponsor an event, I have no problem with a few cheap plugs. However, once you stop even bothering with a Bowl name, and just name it after the company, that is taking things too far.

Thou Shall Not Name Bowls After A Location – No New Mexico Bowls or Las Vegas Bowls. We know where the game is played and there is simply no prestige in winning the New Orleans Bowl. It just sounds like you won a game in New Orleans. Big whoop. All bowls should be named after fruit! Ok, maybe not. I'd keep the Sugar Bowl and the Cotton Bowl. Ok, so bowls must be named after plants! Well, the Poinsettia Bowl is hardly prestigious. Hmmm…I'll have to work on that one.

Thou Shall Have But One Commercial Break Per Quarter – Bowl games are too long. The main reason for this is that a commercial break is taken for EVERYTHING. Time out, commercial break. Touchdown, commercial break. Injury, commercial break. End of a quarter, commercial break. What's worse is that for all these commercial breaks, they use the same freakin' commercials!

Thou Shall Limit Referees to Two Minutes for Review – Official Review is one of the worst things to happen to the game. Everything comes to a screeching halt so the zebras can watch a replay approximately 2 million times. Now there are some plays that are close, but the majority of the time, it is an out of bounds call or a reception that can be determined by watching the play two or three times from a couple of angles. There is no need for an Official Review to take more than two minutes, yet they usually take at least five.

There are the Commandments. So they are written, and so they shall come to pass. If any of you guys have additional Commandments, shoot me a line and I'll put them in next week's Ricochet. Until then, like everyone put in my high school yearbook, stay cool and have a neat summer!